Olmec Facts

[Silver Snake Lord]

This is a funny idea I had for a game and I figured it's better in this sub-forum instead of the main game one, although if it belongs there better the moderators are free to move it. This is just like Chuck Norris facts but all about our Olmec. Post the most insane, funny and silly facts you can think of pertaining to everyone's favorite talking stone head. Here's some I thought of:


Whenever there's an Earthquake anywhere in the world, it's Olmec having a migraine.

Chuck Norris stole all of his facts from Olmec, and paid the penalty by getting crushed and run over by Olmec. Chuck since then has known better than to claim Olmec's facts as his own.

Hailstorms anywhere in the world are whenever Olmec has a sneezing attack.

Volcanic eruptions anywhere in the world are Olmec having a bad day.

[The Red Jaguars]

Sounds like a good idea. 

The high gas prices is a result of the price of letting John and Tia into Olmec's temple, now we have to pay.

The Big Bang occurred as a result of Olmec's frustration of having to listen to Kirk on a daily basis.

[Silver Snake Lord]

Ghosts don't haunt Olmec, Olmec haunts ghosts.

Olmec has time travel and de-aging spells hidden in his temple that 90s-era Nick fans would all love to use; too bad he's not sharing.

Olmec has his own pet Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Olmec has counted to infinity... three times.

Indiana Jones once went through Olmec's temple; it was what made him quit archaeology and retire from it.

Olmec is Batman's biological father, which explains how and why Batman always overcomes the odds; he's got a rock God's DNA in him.

[nicklegends]

Olmec's mouth is so big, our universe is contained in it.

Olmec is made of rock so hard that diamonds disintegrate into dust when he so much as glances in their direction.

Olmec's voice is so deep that he can communicate with celestial bodies and their gods.

Olmec can see in five dimensions.



...WTF am I writing?

[Purple Parrots Fan]

...WTF am I writing?

That's what I'd like to know.

[Asian Legends Fan]

Olmec was once a organ donor. Chuck Norris now has his limbs.

[The Dark Enforcer]

There are no disabled people, only people who have pissed off Olmec.

Olmec doesn't have a middle or last name, because nobody is greater than Olmec.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Olmec.

Olmec died 420 years ago, death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Olmec doesnt walk, the earth moves for him.

fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Olmec is called LOGIC.

[Silver Snake Lord]

Olmec's not afraid of being struck by missiles, missiles are afraid of hitting Olmec for fear of what he'll do after.

The Boogeyman may check his closet for Chuck Norris, but he double-locks all of his doors, bolts his windows and has Brinks security activated to keep out Olmec from his house.

Silver bullets kill Werewolves, so do Olmec's piercing red eyes.

Horror movie killers like Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers are impossible to kill... unless they run into Olmec.

Olmec survived the extinction when the dinosaurs died 65 million years ago, likely because he caused it, himself.

[nicklegends]

Olmec once let a drop of drool fall from his mouth. We still sail across this great ocean today. :O

Olmec knows right from wrong, right from left, and right from the get-go. :O

Olmec is so infinitely wise, he can predict the future with perfect accuracy. :O

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, Olmec hears it anyway. :O

[Silver Snake Lord]

Olmec was actually the first Avenger.

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Olmec.

Olmec beat Chuck Norris in a staring contest; it lasted 100 straight hours, when Chuck just couldn't go on anymore.

[Toltendo]

Olemc created time a law where there is no limit in placing periods in sentences only because the reason to pertain a single continous sentence is to create confusion among the reader and to create repetition repetition repetition repetition repetition and over and over and over and over and this is how people wrote in the 15th century where a lack of periods appear and that is why Olmec is great great and

[Silver Snake Lord]

Olmec had an uncredited role as the rolling boulder at the beginning of Raiders Of The Lost Ark. He was pissed over not being credited for it, which is why he declined to return for the Indiana Jones sequels, but he agreed to briefly reprise the part for the Indiana Jones ride at Disney.

[The Bandit King]

Let me take a stab at these:

You'll know when Olmec sneezes, because a hurricane hits southern Florida every time he does.

Olmec has reached the bottom of a bottomless pit before.

Olmec is Father Time's father.

Olmec can see John Cena.

[Silver Snake Lord]

Death had a near-death experience after encountering Olmec.

Olmec can walk, run and roll on water.

The Predator doesn't hunt Olmec, Olmec hunts the Predator.

Olmec doesn't get weathered and decrepit from storms, Olmec wears out stormy weather.

It's rumored Olmec may have a cameo in The Expendables 2 as a giant rock that crushes some of the villains to death.