Clockwork EP: Michael/Gareth/Joey

[The Bamboo Forest]

NOTE: This is an episode of a completely fan-made game show called Clockwork. Any comments or complaints about the project as a whole should be posted here.

Clockwork Episode 7 (107D)
Michael vs.Gareth vs. Joey

The camera fades in to reveal a man standing in front of a large blank screen. ?Hello everybody,? he says. ?My name?s Josh Painter, and welcome to Clockwork!? The audience is seen cheering before the camera cuts back to Josh, this time a shot with a view of his podium too.

?And this is the game show,? he says once the audience quiets down, ?that all contestants need to do to win big pass through stunt and trivia rounds and just get a tad messy. Without further ado, I present today?s ?Clockworkers?!?

A view of a crazily-colored wall is shown, and it spins round to reveal three contestants behind three lecterns which slide out onto the main set. ?Let?s meet them one-by-one!? exclaims Josh, and the camera begins to pan through the players as he introduces them.

?Dressed in red is the 14-year-old Michael! He likes to shoot hoops after school as well as on his school team, and he?s ready for a brain-bending board game anytime.?

?Dressed in blue is the 13-year-old Gareth! He plays baseball, basketball, and softball?let?s see if his love for sports can get him to the Time Twister.?

?And dressed in yellow is the 13-year-old Joey! He collects DVDs and old videotapes, and he loves to rollerblade all around his neighborhood. Let?s hear it for today?s players!? The audience gets even louder, then quiets down as the camera fades back to close-ups of Josh and the three players.

?Welcome to the show,? Josh begins. ?I hope you don?t mind getting messy, because our first round will bring super sloppy fun. Now, I?m going to ask a $25 question, and the first player to buzz in with the correct answer also gets to pick a card on the TV screen?? Josh turns around and points at his backdrop, which comes to life and displays five cards ??and perform the stunt on it for $50. But remember, if the stunt doesn?t get complete, the next question is worth $75: the regular ol? 25 plus the lost 50. Are you ready to play, contestants?!?

The contestants cheer and shout in response. ?Well, then let?s get started!? shouts Josh. ?Here?s our first $25 question??

He asks: ?True or false: two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom forms a water molecule??

Joey rings in first: ?True??

?You are correct!? replies Josh as the audience cheers. ?That?s where we get the chemical short form ?H20?. You have the right to pick a card? which one will it be, Joey??

?The second to the left card,? he says, pointing his selection. ?Well, let?s look at it!? says Josh, pulling a card out of his podium and reading off it. ?It says: ?This is a job that will surely please; it?s your chance to be the big cheese!? Come on down, I think it?s time for our first stunt?? Josh and Joey walk down into the stunt stage as the audience cheers and the stagehands wheel in a circular vat filled with an amber-colored substance.

?This stunt is called ?The Big Cheese?,? Josh says once the drumbeat cue that plays when contestants walk down finishes. ?And it?s fairly simple?inside this big tank of nacho cheese is a silver pinball which is no larger than a fingernail, probably. It can be anywhere in this vat, and you can do whatever you want?throw the stuff out if you want?but if you find the ball in 15 seconds or less, we?re gonna give you $50, all right? On your mark, get set? GO!?

Joey hops into the vat and begins to use his hands to push around in the gooey mess for the pinball. ?Yeah, don?t be afraid to get messy!? narrates Josh. ?Keep looking?? [0:09] He now starts to swipe the cheese out of the container and onto the floor, hoping to find the ball this way? but time runs out before he can find anything silver inside.

?Well?? says Josh after the horn finishes blowing, ?we?ve got lots of cheese all over the stage? but no pinball in your hands! We?re gonna come back with a $75 question right after this!? The screen switches to a montage of clips, before the logo appears and the screen fades out with the theme music ending in a clock-ticking sound.

[The Bamboo Forest]

The screen reappears with the logo and clips of the first stunt in the background, then fades back to the set and finally a close-up of Josh at his podium.

?Welcome back to Clockwork!? calls Josh. ?Well, Joey played our first stunt and tried to find that elusive pinball in all that disgusting melted nacho cheese? but he wasn?t successful, so it?s time for a $75 question for you guys over there??

He asks: ?A pterodactyl is a type of dinosaur that can do what: swim, fly, or survive dropping into hot lava??

Joey hits the buzzer first: ?Fly!?

?But hey, Joey takes back the money!? exclaims Josh. ?Nice move? brings him up to a hundred bucks? and a chance to pick a card. Which one will it be, Joey??

?That one?? says Joey, pointing at the second-from-the-right card. ?It?s gonna be another 15 second one, I have a feeling?? says Josh, as he takes the card from the podium. ?It says: ?We?ve got a cup filled to the top, now hold it in your mouth and don?t let it drop?! Well, well, well? it?s another stunt for Joey right down here?? Josh waits for Joey to reach the area in front of his podium before they both walk down into the challenge floor.

?This stunt is actually quite simple,? says Josh. ?We?ve got several cups filled with some very watery stuff of? uh, different colors here? and what you need to do is just to take that popsicle stick on the end of each and put that in your mouth, and try to get the liquid over to the table on the other side of the stage without spilling it, and then take it out of your mouth and pour it past the line in that cup. Now, if for some reason so much spills out that it doesn?t fill the cup, or you drop the cup, you have to go back and get another one and try again. If you can fill the cup past the line in 15 seconds or less using your mouth, that?s another $50 to you, okay? On your mark, get set? GO!?

Joey immediately puts a popsicle stick in his mouth and carefully tips his head back, but instead spills some very runny pink liquid on his face. ?Hurry up? you gotta go quickly?? cheers Josh as Joey reaches the table, pulls the stick out of his mouth, and pours. [0:08] ?NO!? yells Josh, as the liquid fills the cup ON THE LINE. ?Go back and get another one!? Joey runs back and frantically tries to transport another cup over in a flash? but a horn blows when he starts making his journey across.

?Time ran out,? announces Josh. ?I do not believe it? he was on the line, but it?s not quite enough for 50 bucks? so it?s question time back up on our dry safe platform? come on back, Joey!? Joey takes a towel from the stagehands and then follows Josh back up to the elevated stage and they both return to their podiums.

Josh asks: ?What is a white elephant: something useless, something covered in snow, or an elephant that?s been dipped in white gak??

Gareth rings in: ?Something useless???

?You are correct!? declares Josh and pauses for applause. ?Now, a card, please???

?The first card from the left,? replies Gareth. ?Very well then!? says Josh in response as Gareth?s choice darkens and a card ejects from Josh?s podium. ?It says: ?If you don?t try this, then it?s your loss?because it?s a icky, sticky game of Gak Toss?. Well, that card summed it up for me? and it?s time for our next stunt!?

Josh and Gareth jog their ways down the steps and onto the sunken floor of the stunt stage. ?Well, this is a pretty fun game, if I can say so myself,? explains Josh. ?Now, we have a large container?full of gak. Inside that goop are some lumps, which you must pick out and hurl across the stage at that target on the other side. If you can hit that target down with a flying gak lump in 20 seconds or less, you?re gonna win an extra $50; you understand what you have to do? Okay?20 seconds on the clock! On your mark, get set? GO!?

Gareth digs around in the goopy pink gak and pulls out what looks like a lump of tissue paper dripping in the stuff, then throws it?but much too lightly. ?I think those lumps are heavier than they look,? comments Josh as Gareth has trouble with the second lump he throws as well. [0:12] ?Time?s ticking away, and it looks to me like Gareth?s having some trouble throwing those things?? narrates Josh, as Gareth misses miserably again. Seconds later, the horn blows and the stunt is over.

?All right, time is up,? says Josh, walking over to Gareth. ?We didn?t get that target over? so it?s time for a $75 question back up there?let?s go!? Josh runs up the steps and returns to his podium, with Gareth following soon after he cleans up. ?Question time??

He asks: ?What is the capital of Syd? uh, Australia: Sydney, Canberra, or Melbourne??

Joey buzzes in: ?Melbourne!?

?No, no, that is incorrect,? declares Josh. ?Gareth and Michael, it?s your try??

Michael hits the buzzer: ?Canberra???

?Michael?s on the board with $75!? announces Josh. ?Now there?s a card to pick? which one is it gonna?? A bell rings and abruptly cuts off Josh and the theme music starts playing.

?That sound means it?s the end of Round One,? announces Josh. ?Joey?s in the lead $100? Gareth and Michael not far behind with $75 each? and we?re gonna come back with more mess, more money, and more slimy fun back on Clockwork? so don?t? go? anywhere!? The camera zooms to the audience, zooming in on the Clockwork logo in the mural on the back wall, then fades to commercial.

[The Bamboo Forest]

The screen fades back in to a shot of Josh, standing in front of a tall pole. ?Welcome back,? he says. ?It?s time for some Super Sloppy Stunts on Clockwork, and we?ve got a 90 second speed round coming up a little later, but first I?m a little hungry? and today our Super Sloppy Stunts seem to be about food, so let?s start off with a little appetizers, right, Joey??

?I guess?? shrugs Joey. ?Well, I guess we?re gonna get some nice calamari rings,? says Josh in response. ?Over here, we?ve got some giant? well, well? they?re inner tubes really? but they?re gonna be calamari rings, and you have to toss them all the way across the stage onto your pole, and then run over there, pull on that cord, and let down a little tartar sauce to make it a really tasty treat. The player with the most calamari rings?with tartar sauce on each?at the end of 60 seconds will win $100, with our second place player getting $75 and third place $50. Good luck. On your mark, get set? GO!?

On this signal, the players begin heaving the rings across the stage?but they are a lot heavier than they seem, because Joey?s first ring collides with Gareth?s and Michael?s hits the ground almost as soon as it leaves his hand. ?Whoa, ?lil bit of a mid-air crash there!? exclaims Josh in surprise. ?Nothing on those poles yet? OH, Gareth got one! Quickly?get the sauce!? [0:43] Gareth runs across the playing area and releases a stream of cream-colored liquid on the golden ring to score. Joey soon tosses a ring which slides right over the pole, and he runs over to dump the sauce and score? and the gak even sprays on him. ?Haha, that stuff nailed him!? laughs Josh. ?But he?s all right? he?s heading back, and we?re still going strong with about 19 seconds left on the clock?? One of Michael?s rings bounces and spins around the pole before it drops all the way down to the floor, then runs over to pull the cord and release the tartar sauce. [0:07] ?It?s neck-and-neck now!? yells Josh as the clock runs down. ?Three? two? one? and STOP!? The horn blows and the giant-ring-tossing chaos finally ceases.

?All right, you can stop!? says Josh as the audience laughs?Joey is still tossing rings! ?Come on Joey, come on everyone? take a break and come on over here?? The players start toweling off and walk over towards Josh. ?Okay? Well, folks, we ended up with a three-way-tie?one to one to one?so we?re gonna put $100 on each of our players? boards and go to our next stunt?come on, dudes!?

Josh and the players run out of view and are then seen arriving at a large platform surrounded by Plexiglas. ?Yeah, go ahead and step right up there? Can we get a shot of this thing? This is actually an elevated kind of, uh, sort of arena thing? and the floor?s covered in slime? and what?s gonna happen is that using brooms, our players must push the stuff towards their container at the end of the platform. The player with the most slime in their container at the end of 60 seconds wins the stunt. On your mark? get set? GO!?

It?s pretty much a free-for-all as the players walk around the platform, pushing slime everywhere, trying not to slip and fall? but without much luck. ?Holy cow!? exclaims Josh, as Joey takes a huge spill and falls face-first into the watery goop. [0:44] ?That gives a chance for Michael and Gareth to catch up!? says Josh. ?Now they?re just staying right next to their container and sweeping that stuff in there? and here comes Joey!? [0:28] The three players are now side-by-side again as they try to push as much of the liquid into their respective containers. ?And with time running out?? narrates Josh, with five seconds left, ?it looks like it might be close!? The horn signifying the end of the stunt blows, and Josh runs over and kneels in front of the containers.

?We?re gonna check it out right over here,? announces Josh, as he looks from one container?s contents to the next. ?It looks like? the judges say that red is in first, yellow second, and blue third! What a finish?? The audience cheers, interrupting Josh momentarily.

?We are going to change the scores accordingly now,? declares Josh, ?and come back up here? and play some more? Clockwork!? He jogs as he finishes his sentence, and the camera cuts to show him and the three boys returning to their elevated lecterns.

?Let?s do a quick score recap,? suggests Josh. ?Right now, Joey in yellow and Gareth in red are tied for the lead with $275 apiece? and Michael?s trailing by 50, with $225?not bad. But, folks, our game is almost over, and all that separates two of our contestants and elimination is 90 seconds of trivia questions.

?In this next round, I?m going to ask questions worth $25 each. Right answers get you dollars, but if you get it wrong, we just move right on to our next question. The player with the most money at the end of 90 seconds will be advancing to the Time Twister? Hands on buzzers, guys, here?s our first question: what two countries does Europe?s Channel Tunnel link: England and France, France and Spain, or Spain and Canada??

Joey hits the buzzer: ?England and France!?

?That?s correct!? says Josh, as time ticks. ?All right, ?Bill? is short for what name??

Joey rings in: ?William!?

?Right again!? declares Josh. ??Bit of a streak going on here for Joey, huh? Okay? which of these whales is most likely eating plankton: a blue whale, a killer whale??

Joey buzzes in: ?Blue whale!?

?You are correct again!? exclaims Josh. ?Joey is on fire today, folks! Next question: which of these fruits can float: oranges, coconuts, or bananas??

Michael slams down: ?Uh, coconuts??

?That?s correct,? replies Josh. ?So tell me what the national language of Mexico is: Spanish??

Joey interrupts: ?Spanish!?

?Correct!? shouts Josh. ?All right, what pop artist performed the song ?I Gotta Feeling?? It was on the top of the charts??

After a pause, Michael rings in: ?The Black Eyed Peas??

?That is correct,? announces Josh. ?Okay, tell me, haha?I like this one?what the word ?quackle? means: is it to swim, is to choke, or is it to quack like a duck??

Five seconds pass without an answer, and finally, a bell sounds.

?Time?s up!? Josh announces. ?The correct answer was actually ?to choke?, but anyway, in the Magic School Bus, what is the name of the teacher: Miss Fallon, Miss Frizzle, or Miss Drizzle??

Gareth buzzes in: ?Miss Frizzle!?

?Yes, nice job,? comments Josh. ?Which of these countries is not in Europe: Ireland, Germany, or Turkey??

Michael hits the buzzer: ?Turkey???

?Yes, that?s right,? declares Josh. ?A little math question here?what is the cube of 4??

After a few seconds, Gareth rings in: ?Um? 64??

An alarm clock begins to ring before Josh can say anything. ?All right, time?s up,? he announces. ?Gareth, we will count that one, because you got it in before the? uh, clock here cut in, and it is correct, so we will add that to your score. Let?s take a look at our standings for today!

?Michael, you answered three questions correctly for $75, so that brings you to a total of exactly $300?not bad at all!? Josh pauses for the audience?s applause before he continues.

?Gareth, you managed to answer two questions correctly for $50, bringing you to a total of $325?which isn?t bad, but Joey answered four questions right for $100? and that gives him $375?he?s won today?s game of Clockwork!? Confetti shoots up around Joey?s podium?with its lights flashing crazily?and he cheers and yells as the audience applauds.

?We?re not gonna send you guys away empty-handed,? reminds Josh, facing Michael and Gareth. ?Brad, let?s give them a nice parting gift, shall we?

Brad announces the prize:
?Okay, sure thing, Josh. They?ll both be getting a $200 savings bond from Cold Stone Creamery. It?s home to rich, creamy concoctions that create the ultimate ice-cream experience. From Cold Stone Creamery!?

The camera fades to Josh and Joey standing beside each other at the host lectern. ?Well, you have won,? declares Josh, ?and you?re going to the Time Twister, but first?do you want to slime your opponents??

?Yup,? nods Joey. ?On the count of three!? yells Josh, pointing at a small button on the wall. ?One? two? three? SLIME TIME!?

Joey hits the button and a generous amount of powdered milk falls out of the containers above the two boys, covering their heads and shoulders. ?Ugh?I?m not even sure what that is!? laughs Josh. ?You guys played a great game, thanks for being here! When we come back, we?re gonna see if Joey can make it through the dreaded Time Twister course, so stick around!? The audience is seen exiting through a mist-filled doorway marked ?Time Twister? above them. A slow-motion replay of Michael and Gareth?s slimings is shown, then we fade to commercial.

[The Bamboo Forest]

We fade back in and see Josh and Joey standing on a colorful, shiny floor next to a spinning turntable. ?Welcome back to Clockwork,? he says. ?I?m here with Joey, today?s champion, and we are about to run the Time Twister, starting off with this, the Record Setter, right here! You?re gonna climb onto this giant spinning record covered in slime, you?re gonna make your away across, and you?re gonna win the first prize?what is it, Brad??

Brad announces the prize:
?Josh, it?s the two-player Capture the Flag set from Nerf. Complete with an electronic flag and two Stormfire blasters. Provides hours of fun and entertainment for friends, from Nerf!?

?That sounds like lots of fun, indeed,? comments Josh, walking over to a sliding board covered in a mud-like substance. ?And over here for Obstacle #2 is Down the Hill?this is our hill, and you have to roll down it, through all this mud?yeuuuuugh, this is disgusting, but because it is, we?re gonna give you a great prize here, aren?t we??

Brad announces the prize:
?Well, we certainly are! It?s a savings bond from Skechers Footwear! Makers of fun, exciting, cool shoes, sneakers, and boots! Skechers?it?s the ?S?!?

?Obstacle #3,? continues Josh, as he walks Joey over to a path of eight circles, ?is the Footswitch. Do you like to dance??

?Uh? no,? says Joey, laughing. ?Well, you?ll need SOME dance moves, but not any fancy ones,? Josh explains, ?because your job is to go down this line and step on each of the circles? let?s count ?em?one, two, three, four, five, six, seven? EIGHT circles, before you stomp on this bulls-eye to drop the gak in that container above you! And if you do all that? you?ll win THIS prize!?

Brad announces the prize:
?It?s $500 worth of Blockbuster gift cards! Good for movies, music, games, and more from any Blockbuster rental outlet in the U.S.A.!?

?Our next obstacle is called the Wall Climb,? narrates Josh, ?and put simply, you climb this wall?you?ve got a rope, but also lots of gak. Don?t let it slow you down, though, because you?ll wanna climb all the way up to the top of the wall, and jump into the Clockwork pool on the other side?and you?ll win this prize.?

Brad announces the prize:
?It?s a brand new bike! The Schwinn 405 mountain bike features full front wheel suspension and stability to traverse any type of terrain?except maybe for going underwater. Schwinn?we just plain love to ride.?

?Our fifth obstacle is the one and only Clockwork pool,? explains Josh, walking Joey over to the pool, filled with clear, clean water. ?Very very simple objective here?just wade your way through the water and over to this little platform?? Josh points at a small platform near the opposite end of the pool ??and climb up, and you?ll win? what??

Brad announces the prize:
?It?s Bushnell?s high-tech telescope! Designed specifically for the curious young users, explore the world beyond ours, from Bausch and Lomb!?

?And once you get out of that pool,? says Josh, ?you?ll need to climb up the Sewer Bug?s Slide. It?s this slide filled with green gak and sewer water trickling down and all sorts of other utterly disgusting things along the way?but be careful not to slip all the way back down! Once you reach the top, you?ll win this prize!?

Brad announces the prize:
?It?s a Springfree Trampoline! This unique 12-foot round trampoline comes with a FlexiNet safety enclosure for hours of safe, fun bouncing about.?

?Obstacle #7 is the Cobra?s Helter-Skelter,? continues Josh, moving over to a snake-themed spiral slide, ?and all you have to do is just get on this slide and slide all the way down, into this canal of slime. If you hit this slime before we hear this sound?? The show?s signature ?time?s up? alarm clock rings for a few seconds ??then you will be getting this AWESOME GRAND PRIZE!?

Brad announces the prize:
?It?s an amazing seven day trip on the Nickelodeon Family Cruise with Royal Caribbean aboard the Freedom of the Seas, the most innovative cruise ship in the world!?

?Let?s see if we can get you on this cruise, huh?? remarks Josh to Joey. ?But before we do any time twisting, you?ve got to understand that this is the only obstacle course that can bend time and space?and here?s how it works:

?The clock?s decided that it?ll give you 75 seconds for today?s course. Now, at the end of each obstacle there?s a question written on a podium. They?re all multiple-choice, and you must make your choice using the two buzzers before you move on to the next obstacle. For each question you get right, you?ll be getting $50 but if you get it wrong, we?re gonna be taking away five seconds from the time. We?re gonna keep running until we hear that alarm. You ready??

?Yeah,? replies Joey, getting in position. ?Well, I think we?re all set to go, then,? declares Josh. ?Let?s get the clock set, and Joey, stand right here? yeah, just in front of the Record Setter, there? On your marks, get set? GOOOOOO!?

On this word, Joey launches himself onto the spinning record, immediately wiping out from the slippery slime underneath. ?OH!? exclaims Josh as Joey waits for the turntable to spin him over to the exit. ?That was nasty, right there, that fall!? Joey drags himself out of the first obstacle with 66 seconds remaining, and then pulls the cloth covering the first podium to read the question: ?Which country is larger: Canada or China?? Joey hits the second buzzer, and then the first quickly, but ??we have to accept his first choice,? explains Josh, ?and it was China?we?ve got to take away five seconds from his time! He?s still doing good, though, heading to the Down the Hill obstacle?? [0:53] Joey climbs up the short ladder and then half-rolls, half-slides down the mud, taking most of the gak with him down the slide. ?Woah, that was a mess,? comments Josh as Joey picks himself off the mat and uncovers the second question: ?There are penguins in Antarctica: true or false?? Joey hesitantly hits the first buzzer and ??he adds fifty smackeroonies to his score!? narrates Josh.

[0:39] Joey runs over to the Footswitch, stepping up onto the platform and then stomping on each circle, alternating his feet. ?He?s got some fancy footwork, folks,? comments Josh, ?and it?s gonna help him pick up some much-needed time!? Joey stomps on the eighth circle, and then moves over to the target, jumping both feet down on it with 31 seconds left. ?Here comes the slime!? shouts Josh as a container above Joey opens and he is drenched in green goo, letting him move onto the question: ?Is ?my moldy mind melted? an example of: alliteration or rhyme?? Joey stares at the podium for a second before slamming down on the first buzzer and moves on to the next obstacle, the Wall Climb. [0:23] ?Okay, he?s got 50 more dollars now,? announces Josh as Joey makes his way to the base of the wall, and begins to climb the wall. His feet slip in the slime, but he manages to clear two strips of bare wall in the slime which helps him to climb up to the top of the wall with 16 seconds on the clock, and then uncovers the fourth question podium ??and it says? ?Which snake will strangle its victims: viper or python?? He thinks it?s the viper?but it?s wrong!? As Josh says this, five seconds ?fly? away from the clock, leaving Joey with only 6 seconds remaining as he jumps into the Clockwork Pool. ?Just a few seconds left,? declares Josh as Joey continues to wade through the pool?but the clock begins to ring and we?re OUT OF TIME!

Josh runs over to the poolside. ?All right, time?s up,? he tells Joey, ?come over here? yeah, just right by here at the side. That?s? four out of seven, let?s hear it for him, folks! Brad?tell him what he?s won!?

Brad reveals his prizes:
?Joey?s won the Capture the Flag, the Skechers savings bond, the Blockbuster gift cards, and the Schwinn mountain bike. Combined with his total cash winnings today of $525, he has won cash and prizes worth $1,270!?

?Hey, that ain?t bad!? consoles Josh. ?We?re out of time for today?join us back here again soon for more mess and more Clockwork!? Josh waves at the camera briefly before jumping into the Pool to join Joey as the credits scroll. The camera zooms out across the entire outdoor arena, then fades to the Nickelodeon Productions logo.