Legends Episode Ranking System - COMPLETE

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Well, actually, Poseidon was in fact a god of horses as well even though he is better known as the Greek god of the seas, storms and earthquakes.  I was very interested in Greek mythology when I was little so that reference didn't surprise me at all, but I can understand why it seemed like it came out of nowhere because it wasn't even mentioned in the legend as a background detail if I recall.  I think because of that, it still seems like a sorry excuse for using the horse machine as a Temple Game.



Anywho, going to have to do a little catching up to read the earlier reviews, but I can't wait for the next one.

What's this? TAW is expressing a interest in Legends for once? Let me get that on film!

In all seriousness though, they really should have mentioned the god of horses bit during the legend. It would make the bucking horse game make more sense. And yeah, Kamehameha is a very exciting episode. It's safe to say I can expect a good rating on that episode.

[PurpleParrot4Life]

I wonder why the legend didn't mention this in relation to the artifact? I mean it would've made the horse temple game a little more relevant and understandable. But I had no idea that Poseidon was also known as the god of horses.

During the prelude to the bucking horse game, Olmec announced, "In addition to being the god of the sea and earthquakes, Poseidon was also the god of horses." He then went on to explain the game and the rules. So it wasn't like they didn't mention it at all. Still, I agree that there should have been some mention of it beforehand.

[The Red Jaguars]

Here is my review for "Kamehameha" and Robbie. It got a lower score than I thought, but I still enjoyed this episode very much.

THE PENDANT OF KAMEHAMEHA

MOAT: 6/10

I have to say that this was one of the most uncreative moats used on the show. Basically, all the teams had to do was send one player across the moat with a rope and tie it to the pole on the opposite side. Next, the second player must cross it by walking across the moat. Although the moat was still competitive and required some skill to complete, which saves it from being a total wash.

LEGEND: 4/10

The Legend tells about a warrior named Kamehameha, who reunited the Hawaiian Islands. Around his neck, he wore an Ivory Pendant that symbolized the god, Ku. When a Hawaiian King died, his bones were buried in secrecy with no one to find out its true location. I guess in Kamehameha's case, his Pendant somehow made it to the temple.

This legend reminds me of why I am not too fond of the season one legends. This legend had some real potential because the production crew picked an interesting historic figure. But them they simply tell a story about his jewelry and then he dies. That is basically all the legend was about. Why not expound more on Kamehameha more? What saves this round from getting a lower score was the fact they picked an interesting figure to talk about.

STEPS OF KNOWLEDGE: 8/10

I actually enjoyed this Steps of Knowledge round. The question that Olmec asked were interesting and required the player to have background knowledge outside of the episode's legend to answer the questions. For example, one of the questions was "How was the Hawaiian Islands formed?" That was not mentioned in the legend at all, but you most likely learned that answer around your Middle School years. All of the other questions were relevant to the legend in some way, so I enjoyed this Steps of Knowledge a lot. Also, there was only one wrong answer and these group of kids were smart.

TEMPLE GAMES: 7/10

The first temple game used in this episode was very creative compared to the other season one temple games. In the first temple game, the guy contestants had to climb up the wall and complete a petroglyph of a Hawaiian Warrior. Usually when this temple game is used, the players have to carry a pile of bricks to the top. But this temple game was more creative. And as a result, it was more enjoyable to watch.

The second temple game was disappointing though. It used one of my least favorite and overplayed temple games of season one. In this temple game, the female contestants had to push a boulder up a slippery slope using their backs. This temple game was just too tough on these contestants and the Red Jaguar girl almost had her boulder to the top, but she fell down at the last second. It was a terrible choice for a temple game.

The team temple game was pretty creative like the first temple game. In this temple game, the teams had climb to the top of a tree and grab a coconut from it. Then, they will take it down and send their partner up. Unfortunately, the Silver Snakes lost this one to the Red Jaguars. But they win the very first tiebreaker on the show and go onto the temple!

TEMPLE RUN: 8/10

I have always found this to be an exciting temple run to watch despite the outcome of it. This is one of those temple runs where the players weren't bad at all, they just had a bad outcome. Robbie was one of the fastest male Silver Snakes on the show, and he only got taken out about 30 seconds in the run after traveling through four rooms. Tina was pretty fast herself, but she did make a mistake by entering the Gargoyle Room with less than a full pendant, which will cost her later. But still, she ran through nine rooms before reaching the Dungeon and did a fine job. Unfortunately, by entering the Room of Three Gargoyles, she ensured that this temple run would've ended in triple capture. The ending to this temple run is so heartbreaking, especially considering that the Silver Snakes had more than enough time to bring the Pendant out of the temple. It was even more disappointing that the Dungeon captured Tina when she was already out of the Dungeon. But either way, the capture was meant to happen. Too bad also, but this temple run is still exciting and the ending is very memorable.

Next to "The Dragon Lady and the Blue Pearl", I have to say that this is the most exciting loss in season one. When you have a temple run with good and competent players, then the temple runs are usually exciting. The ending with Robbie and Tina looking both upset makes you feel bad for these two.

FINAL VERDICT: 6.6/10

Honestly, I enjoyed this episode a lot. The Steps of Knowledge was fun to watch with some good questions. There were also a couple of creative temple games that I thought were good. I enjoyed the first temple game the most and I really wish season one got creative more with their temple games like they did in this one. But my favorite round is definitely the temple run though. Its very exciting and memorable, and the ending was one of the biggest heart breakers on the show. I really wish this episode would have a higher score, but unfortunately the uncreative moat and shallow legend ruined it. I really wished the fleshed the legend out more. Overall, this was one of the better and most exciting episodes of season one.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

The Keys to the Alhambra was the first ever tiebreaker, not Kamehameha. Even if both episodes were on the same filming day.

As for Kamehameha, great episode. The moat was pretty uninspiring, like most of the moats were in Season 1. The legend was alright, but considering Kamehameha was such an interesting historical figure, I'd expect the legend to be better executed. So I definitely agree with you there. The temple games were pretty good, and I happen to like the "push a boulder up a watery ramp with your backs turned" game. It's honestly one of my favorite temple games in Season 1, though it was better when it was used as a team game though. The temple run was very memorable, too bad it ended the way it did. But if Robbie didn't take a direct path, or if they actually had 2 pendants, they would have won for sure. It's kind of funny how the artifact itself was the very same thing they lacked. Great review like always, and I can't wait for your review on Blue Pearl. That was another exciting episode in Season 1.

[The Red Jaguars]

Yeah, I don't recall liking many of the season one moats. They weren't very creative at all. But I do enjoy the one that was used with the Pharaoh's Staff - I guess that was from the "King Tut's Cobra Staff" day? But that was creative for a season one moat at least. And wow, I had no idea that you liked the water ramp temple games though. I thought you hated those ones? I agree, I liked them better when they were team games like the one in "Sir Edmund Hillary".

And what a coincidence that the artifact was a Pendant, and that was what kamehameha and Tina needed to win. I never noticed that detail before. But they should've won their team game since they both won their individual temple games. But then again, the run is so memorable and heartbreaking that I am not sure if I would change the outcome. And definitely agreed about "Blue Pearl" being another good episode. It had a good legend, a rare team temple game, and one of the most exciting losses on the show.

For my next one, I haven't done a Jaguars or Parrot episode yet. I might see which one I will choose next or just go with RNG.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I meant "Kamehameha" was the first tiebreaker won legitimately. We all knows what happens in the "Alhambra" tiebreaker. 

[The Red Jaguars]

This is what I did. I numbered all of the Red Jaguar episodes 1-20 and used the RNG to decide which one to do next.

1. Blackbeard's Treasure Map
2. Elizabeth I's Golden Ship
3. The Golden Cup of Belshazzar
4. The Helmet of Genghis Khan
5. The Helmet of Joan of Arc
6. The Keys to the Alhambra
7. The Mask of Shaka Zulu
8. The Silver Saddle Horn of Hannibal
9. The Stone Marker of Leif Erickson
10. The Treasure of Anne Bonny
11. The Crown of Queen Nzinga
12. The Golden Goblet of Attila the Hun
13. The Jeweled Necklace of Montezuma
14. The Lost Love Letter of Captain John Smith
15. The Missing Weather Maps of Charles Lindbergh
16. The Two-Cornered Hat of Napoleon
17. The Ivory Hunting Horn of Roland
18. The Jewel-Encrusted Egg of Catherine the Great
19. The Royal Torque of Queen Boadicea
20. The Smashed Printing Plate of Frederick Douglass



It looks like "Captain John Smith" is the next episode. I can tolerate that, although it wasn't a remarkable episode by any means. 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Yeah, Captain John Smith was one of the more forgettable episodes of Season 2. There's nothing remarkable about that episode whatsoever, it's just plain average. Though it's MUCH more tolerable than say "Smashed Printing Plate" and "Alhambra."

As for the Season 1 moats, the Galileo's Cannonball/Dead Man's Hand filming day featured the "King Tut's Staff" moat. It was the very first moat ever. I also sort of like the "Aztec Footboard" moat for the Cricket Cage/John Sutter filming day. I don't know why, I guess I just like the like the idea of them using a boogie board. And yeah, I always liked the water ramp game. It was the soapy ramp game I didn't care about. I know they're sort of the same thing, but I liked the whole water shooting out and backs turned concept better. Made it a little more challenging. But it was much more creative when they utilized it as a team game.

[The Red Jaguars]

Just a slight change of plan. Since we were talking about it in the other topic, I think I will do "Snow Cone" next before doing "Captain John Smith". I am interested on how bad that Snow Cone will rank. Then I will definitely do Captain John Smith after that. Hopefully I can get the Snow Cone one up by tomorrow. 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Also, didn't you want to rank "Blue Pearl" next? Since you were meaning to rank that episode along with "Captain John Smith." Although it would be interesting to see how low "Snow Cone" ranks. I swear, there's gotta be nothing redeemable in that episode.

[The Red Jaguars]

I forgot all about "Blue Pearl episode too. I think after "Captain John Smith" I will do that episode, so I can take a break from these mediocre and average episodes. But nevertheless, here is my review for the much "anticipated" Snow Cone episode:

THE SNOW CONE OF MT. KILIMANJARO

MOAT: 4/10

This was an interesting moat, but it was not the most creative for season three standards. In this moat, the teams had to cross a rope bridge with their partners on either side. If one of them fell, both had to go back. Nothing really stood out in this moat though and there was no real close competition. It was just an average moat at best.

LEGEND: 1/10

This is probably one of the most absurd legends on the entire show. There is just so much wrong with it that it makes you wonder if the producers pulled this legend out of their ass. The legend tells of Reverend Charles Newman scaling Mt. Kilimanjaro with his guide, Tofiki. One night, Newman notices a leopard in the moonlight outside and Tofiki scares it away with a spear. Then Newman makes a ball of snow and Tofiki adds oranges to it, creating the alleged first Snow Cone ever.

So yeah, you don't even have to hear the legend to realize how absurd it is. Just look at the artifact for God's sake - it was a dessert made out of snow! What the hell? Talk about being uncreative. Not only is the legend beyond stupid, but the pictures used are inaccurate. The image of Mt. Kilimanjaro is actually Mt. Everest, the leopard is actually a jaguar picture, and the image used for Tofiki was used in "The Shriveled Hand of Efoua" legend (credits to GreenMonkeys#1 for pointing this out!). So I am going out on a limb and say that the producers were on some sort of drugs when making this legend, or they were really really desperate for an episode plot.

STEPS OF KNOWLEDGE: 5/10

All of the questions from this episode came exactly from the legend, so there is nothing to say about this round. All of the answers were so obvious though and straight-forward, and there were no trick questions compared to other season three episodes. But still, there were no wrong answers so there is no reason to give this round a high or low score since nothing was really wrong.

TEMPLE GAMES: 5/10

The first temple game had the teams crossing an "icy path" via a series of poles. If they select the pole that falls down to the ground, then they must go back and start over. Heather of the Silver Snakes was horrible in this temple game. She kept selecting the same poles that were incorrect even though she tried them before! We will see her stupidity in action later. Overall, the Red Jaguars win this one since Heather was too incompetent to make it far.

The second temple game was the overused "Swing Boulder" game for season three. For some reason, the boulders seemed kind of uncoordinated when swinging. Not as bad as it was in "The Much-Heralded Helmet of Sir Gawain", but it was pretty bad. The one thing that irritates me is Kirk's commentary during this temple game. His voice sounded more annoying than usual. It sounds almost as if it was voiced over? I wonder if it was? Regardless, the temple game ended in a tie.

The last temple game had the teams navigating through a maze where they were connected to each other on the side. The Silver Snakes won this one and with a score of 1.5-1, they (unfortunately) go to the temple.

Overall, this temple game round was pretty poor in quality. The second temple game was hard to sit through and the Silver Snakes basically scraped by in order to win it. But don't worry, it goes downhill from here!

TEMPLE RUN: 1/10

You think that John and Tia from the "Golden Cricket Cage" temple run can be the only team to earn a 1 for the temple run? Guess again, because both Heather and Casey are about to earn the same score. You wonder how this run gets such a low score, and that's because there is NOTHING even redeemable about it. I bet you can't find a single thing that is close to being redeemable. They only made it through five rooms in a whole three minutes. That's just awful for season three. Casey was such a tard and it took 2-3 tries to complete every single room objective. And when he gets into the Dark Forest, he just stares at the temple spirit and basically walks right into it even though he can tell that the arms of the tree are moving. Heather was terrible herself and she didn't even make any progress with her almost full minute in the temple. Instead, she forces the door from the Dark Forest to the Shrine open and wastes her remaining time trying to cheat her way into the Shrine.

What a god awful temple run. At least John and Tia were from season one, so their piss poor performance was kind of excusable. But these two were lost causes and this temple run is so boring anyways that there is no reason to watch it.

FINAL VERDICT: 3.2/10

Just looking at the episode title for this episode should tell you that it was going to be bad. The final score for this episode puts it on par with "The Golden Cricket Cage of Khan" ranking wise. That may be hard to believe, but let me recap why:

- The legend used for this episode is complete crap. It is so inaccurate and cheesy that it makes you wonder if the producers were desperate for an episode plot that they pulled this one together at the last second.
- Almost every single round of this episode is boring with little to no redeeming value.
- The temple games were lackluster and filled with too many annoying moments, like the badly coordinated second temple game with bad Kirk Fogg commentary.
- The temple run was filled with two incompetent players that must've not been paying attention to when Olmec was giving his temple rundown. They were just so bad!

I remember this was one of the few episodes that Nick GaS took a long time to air. I guess there was a good reason why they did not play it. Do yourself a favor and just skip this episode, unless you want to watch it for the sake of completion. But you will not be missing anything if you choose to not watch it. We should sign a petition to burn this episode forever!

[GreenMonkeys#1]

I knew that episode sucked, we should rename it  because it sucks kinda like how Silk Ladder is 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

I don't even want to remember the episode, let alone give it a new name. O_O Snow Cone is by far the most filler episode of Season 3, if not the whole series. Everything about this episode is just cringe worthy, from the stupid artifact, to the lame legend, and to the atrocious temple run. It's definitely no surprise it ranked as low as Cricket Cage. Hopefully the next episode you rank (being Lost Love Letter) will score better.

[The Red Jaguars]

No way "Lost Love Letter" can come even close to the suckiness of "Snow Cone". I don't remember much about that episode, but I sure know that it won't even reach down into 3 or 4's range. I remember the temple games being interesting at least, especially Whitney's temple game. Its probably end up being an average episode in the 5's range. I can't wait until I get to the "Dragon Lady" episode though. 

And on an unrelated note, which Purple Parrot episode where the team reaches the artifact but fails to bring it out do you like better - King Tut of Blackfeet Chief? I want your input because I need to do a Purple Parrot episode eventually.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Oh Captain John Smith is a vast improvement over Snow Cone for sure. Even though the former is sort of a filler episode as well. I'm guessing it's gonna rank in the 5.0 range, which isn't too bad. As for the Purple Parrot reached artifacts but didn't win episodes,  I like "King Tut's Cobra Staff" better. It's more exciting, temple game sequence is very unique, and the temple run was more suspenseful. I don't mind "The Bone Necklace of the Blackfeet Chief" that much, but it's more of an average episode and not much sticks out. And what a coincidence that Bone Necklace and Captain John Smith are on the same filming day. If you're looking to rank a Purple Parrot episode next, you can rank King Tut's Cobra Staff next. Either that or finally take on Blue Pearl, but it's up to you.

[The Red Jaguars]

Not to mention, Blue Pearl/Cobra Staff were produced on the same day and both feature the same rare temple game.

Which brings me to which one I like better. Both episodes are good, but I like "Cobra Staff" a little better. It had a good legend with an interesting artifact, a rare temple game that should've been used more often, and the temple run was a nail biter to the ending. Even if Eusinia was dumb, she was still fast though and made it far despite her mistakes. "Blackfeet Chief" is good too and has some highlight moments, but I like "Cobra Staff" a little better.

But first things first, I need to do "Captain John Smith".