Legends temple guard tribute

[PurpleParrot319]

I've come up with an idea for a temple guard tribute: a parody of Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" and Weird Al Yankovic's "Amish Paradise" (mainly Weird Al though). I'm coming up with lyrics right now and who knows, maybe I'll sing it out for you once it's done (you know, from YouTube ). The name of the parody song is called "Mayan Paradise". Here's what I've come up with as of right now:

As I walk through the valley where I honor Olmec
I see a kid passing by and then I say “What the heck?!”
A monkey, iguana, and parrot too
But then I see a little kid and she is wearing blue
The Blue Barracudas and Red Jaguars
The Silver Snakes try to prove that we are liars…fool

Yeah, it's nowhere close to being done, but I do plan on finishing it. I'm still coming up with ideas right now, so I'll keep you guys up to date on how this is going.

[PurpleParrot319]

Here's an update:

As I walk through the valley where I honor Olmec
I see a kid passing by and then I say “What the heck?!”
A monkey, iguana, and parrot too
But then I see a little kid and she is wearing blue
The Blue Barracudas and Red Jaguars
The Silver Snakes try to prove that we are liars…fool
And I’ve been here scaring kids for so long that
Even my fellow guards feel I deserve a Royal Gong
I’m a guard of the temple; I’m not different from the others
I’ll scare these little kids and make them cry to their mothers
And if I do my job and you succeed like thee
Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 2000 BC

We been spending most our lives
Living in a Mayan paradise
I’ve caught kids more than twice
Living in a Mayan paradise
It’s hard work and sacrifice
Living in a Mayan paradise
We make kids pay the price
Living in a Mayan paradise

[PurpleParrot319]

Time for another update. Sixteen lines left and it's finished.

As I walk through the valley where I honor Olmec
I see a kid passing by and then I say “What the heck?!”
A monkey, iguana, and parrot too
But then I see a little kid and she is wearing blue
The Blue Barracudas and Red Jaguars
The Silver Snakes try to prove that we are liars…fool
And I’ve been here scaring kids for so long that
Even my fellow guards feel I deserve a Royal Gong
I’m a guard of the temple; I’m not different from the others
I’ll scare these little kids and make them cry to their mothers
And if I do my job and you succeed like thee
Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 2000 BC

We been spending most our lives
Living in a Mayan paradise
I’ve caught kids more than twice
Living in a Mayan paradise
It’s hard work and sacrifice
Living in a Mayan paradise
We make kids pay the price
Living in a Mayan paradise

An Orange Iguana just stuck his tongue out at me
I just smirked at him and then I left to let him be
I really don’t care, in fact I hope he wins
It’s just too bad that he broke too many deadly sins
Thirty-two times a team has succeeded
We got the other eighty-eight and told them they blew it
Choose the wrong armor and we’ll be bound
Because we’ll grab you, and force you to turn around
I’ve never eaten a kid even if they deserved it
Why haven’t I? Because there’s food at our banquet

An ear of corn and an apple half
Pizza covered ball in the Mine Shaft
The Golden Pepperoni
Of Catharine de’ Medici

We been spending most our lives
Living in a Mayan paradise
It’s not easy being nice
Living in a Mayan paradise
But we can be good guys
Living in a Mayan paradise
If you are not so wise
Living in a Mayan paradise

[PurpleParrot319]

It is now finished. Here's what it looks like:

As I walk through the valley where I honor Olmec
I see a kid passing by and then I say “What the heck?!”
A monkey, iguana, and parrot too
But then I see a little kid and she is wearing blue
The Blue Barracudas and Red Jaguars
The Silver Snakes try to prove that we are liars…fool
And I’ve been here scaring kids for so long that
Even my fellow guards feel I deserve a Royal Gong
I’m a guard of the temple; I’m not different from the others
I’ll scare these little kids and make them cry to their mothers
And if I do my job and you succeed like thee
Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 2000 BC

We been spending most our lives
Living in a Mayan paradise
I’ve caught kids more than twice
Living in a Mayan paradise
It’s hard work and sacrifice
Living in a Mayan paradise
We make kids pay the price
Living in a Mayan paradise

An Orange Iguana just stuck his tongue out at me
I just smirked at him and then I left to let him be
I really don’t care, in fact I hope he wins
It’s just too bad that he broke too many deadly sins
Thirty-two times a team has succeeded
We got the other eighty-eight and told them they blew it
Choose the wrong armor and we’ll be bound
Because we’ll grab you, and force you to turn around
I’ve never eaten a kid even if they deserved it
Why haven’t I? Because there’s food at our banquet

An ear of corn and an apple half
Pizza covered ball in the Mine Shaft
The Golden Pepperoni
Of Catharine de’ Medici

We been spending most our lives
Living in a Mayan paradise
It’s not easy being nice
Living in a Mayan paradise
But we can be good guys
Living in a Mayan paradise
If you are not so wise
Living in a Mayan paradise


Catchin’ little kids, makin’ them my slaves
I’ve caught so many trying to escape from the caves
Think you’re really smart? Think you’re really strong?
Let me just tell you I’m here to prove you wrong
It does not matter if you’re a girl or a boy
Because your chances of a win are mine to destroy
So don’t be lame and don’t be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might go crazy on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in a Mayan paradise
We’re all crazy men in tights
Living in a Mayan paradise
Hiding behind the lights
Living in a Mayan paradise
But you’d probably think it bites
Living in a Mayan paradise

Ooooooh Oooh Oooh Ooooh Ooh
Ooooooh Oooh Oooh Ooooh Ooh

[PurpleParrot319]

Just noticed a couple of mistakes. Correcting them now.

[PurpleParrot319]

I forgot two lines in the third paragraph, as well as the "fool" part at the end of the eighth line. Everything looks good now. Here it is:

As I walk through the valley where I honor Olmec
I see a kid passing by and then I say “What the heck?!”
A monkey, iguana, and parrot too
But then I see a little kid and she is wearing blue
The Blue Barracudas and Red Jaguars
The Silver Snakes try to prove that we are liars…fool
And I’ve been here scaring kids for so long that
Even my fellow guards feel I deserve a Royal Gong
I’m a guard of the temple; I’m not different from the others
I’ll scare these little kids and make them cry to their mothers
And if I do my job and you succeed like thee
Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 2000 BC

We been spending most our lives
Living in a Mayan paradise
I’ve caught kids more than twice
Living in a Mayan paradise
It’s hard work and sacrifice
Living in a Mayan paradise
We make kids pay the price
Living in a Mayan paradise

An Orange Iguana just stuck his tongue out at me
I just smirked at him and then I left to let him be
I really don’t care, in fact I hope he wins
It’s just too bad that he broke too many deadly sins
Thirty-two times a team has succeeded
We got the other eighty-eight and told them they blew it
Choose the wrong armor and we’ll be bound
Because we’ll grab you, and force you to turn around…fool
Put in the markers and be prepared
Because once the door is raised you’ll be really scared
I’ve never eaten a kid even if they deserved it
Why haven’t I? Because there’s food at our banquet

An ear of corn and an apple half
Pizza covered ball in the Mine Shaft
The Golden Pepperoni
Of Catharine de’ Medici

We been spending most our lives
Living in a Mayan paradise
It’s not easy being nice
Living in a Mayan paradise
But we can be good guys
Living in a Mayan paradise
If you are not so wise
Living in a Mayan paradise


Catchin’ little kids, makin’ them my slaves
I’ve caught so many trying to escape from the caves
Think you’re really smart? Think you’re really strong?
Let me just tell you I’m here to prove you wrong
It does not matter if you’re a girl or a boy
Because your chances of a win are mine to destroy
So don’t be lame and don’t be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might go crazy on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in a Mayan paradise
We’re all crazy men in tights
Living in a Mayan paradise
Hiding behind the lights
Living in a Mayan paradise
But you’d probably think it bites
Living in a Mayan paradise

Ooooooh Oooh Oooh Ooooh Ooh
Ooooooh Oooh Oooh Ooooh Ooh

[The Headless King]

Why do I find this so funny? 

[PurpleParrot319]

Glad you liked it!

And if I can find the background music from Amish Paradise, I just might post a music video in dedication to our favorite stalkers.