Legends: Rebirth-The Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler

[The Bandit King]

Episode 12: The Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler

The camera winds and twists its way through a thick jungle of strange and exotic plants.  After a few wrong turns, it finally stops in front of an ancient Mayan temple.  At the base of the temple, a giant stone head sits.  Suddenly, the head’s eyes light up and it begins to speak:

“Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth!”  These words appear on the screen.  “With your guide, Kirk Fogg!  And here he is now!”

A middle-aged man wearing a denim shirt and blue jeans swings in on a rope.  He drops down and runs up the Steps of Knowledge, microphone in hand.

“Thank you!  Thank you, everybody!  Nice to see everyone again!  It’s good to see you again, Olmec!  Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth.  The rooms are filled with lost treasures protected by mysterious Mayan Temple Guards.  Only Olmec knows the legends behind each of these newly discovered treasures in his Temple…which one are we gonna hear about today, Olmec?”

“The legend of the Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler,” Olmec replies.

“Oh, the Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler,” Kirk responds.  “Well, one of these six teams will have a chance to retrieve the Orbit Maps—will it be:

“The Red Jaguars?”  The camera zooms in on each team as they are introduced.
“The Blue Barracudas?
“The Green Monkeys?
“The Orange Iguanas?
“The Purple Parrots?
“Or the Silver Snakes?

“They’ll have to pass some tough physical and mental tests, but in the end, only one of these teams will have the right to enter Olmec’s Temple.  But first, they’ve gotta cross the Moat, and Olmec will tell us how they’ve got to do it today…”

Olmec begins to explain the Moat Crossing:
“Before you, a long rope hangs into the Moat.  When Kirk gives the signal, one player from each team will swim out to the rope, grab it, swim back with it, and swing across.  Once you’re safely across, throw the rope to your partner, who will then swing across in the same way.  If your feet touch the water while you’re swinging, you must go back and start again.  Once both players reach the other side, run over and hit the gong.”  Kirk hits the Silver Snakes’ gong to demonstrate.  “The first four teams to hit their gongs will go on to the next round!”

“All right, let’s get goin’,” Kirk says.  “Hey teams, are you ready?”
All six teams scream and cheer in response.
“Mr. Olmec, are you ready?” Kirk asks.
“Can you smell what this rock is cooking?” Olmec replies.
“I think I can,” Kirk laughs.  “On your mark, get set, GO!!”

The six team members jump into the Moat and grab the rope.  The Blue Barracudas’ boy is first back, followed closely by the Purple Parrots’ boy.  The Green Monkeys’ boy is back next, followed by the Orange Iguanas’ girl, the Silver Snakes’ girl, and finally, the Red Jaguars’ boy.  All the teams successfully swing across except the Red Jaguars’ boy and the Green Monkeys’ boy, who touch the water.  “They touched the water, so they’ll have to start again,” Kirk narrates.  The other four teams successfully throw the ropes to their partners, and aside from the Purple Parrots’ girl, whose feet touch the water, all successfully swing across and race to hit their respective gong.  The Green Monkeys’ boy and Red Jaguars’ boy successfully swing to the other side and throw the rope to their partners.  “This is really close—who’s it gonna be?” Kirk narrates.  All three remaining team members successfully swing across, and the Green Monkeys beat out the Purple Parrots and Red Jaguars by just a few inches.

“That’s it!  We’ve got our four teams!” Kirk shouts as he runs over to stand beside the Silver Snakes.  “It was fast and furious, but the Silver Snakes had no problems—at least none that I saw—and goin’ on to the Steps of Knowledge are the Silver Snakes…along with the Orange Iguanas,” Kirk pauses between each team’s name to allow for applause.  “And the Green Monkeys, and the Blue Barracudas!  The Red Jaguars and the Purple Parrots almost made it, but they’re not goin’ home empty-handed.  We have a great gift for ‘em, and here’s what it is!”  They receive a $50 gift certificate from Pacsun.

[The Bandit King]

Kirk and the four remaining teams are now standing atop the Steps of Knowledge.  “As the quest continues, it’s time now for Olmec to tell us about the Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler.  But pay attention, everybody, because your knowledge of this legend can bring you a step closer to Olmec’s Temple…”

Olmec begins to tell the story:
“One of the greatest scientists of all time was the German astronomer Johannes Kepler.  A math teacher at a seminary school in Austria, Kepler made discoveries in the field of optics and invented the refracting telescope, but his passion was astronomy.  Kepler spent hours each day studying planets and stars under the tutelage of Tycho Brahe, the most renowned astronomer of that time.  Legend has it that one day, while helping Brahe study Mars, Kepler noticed something.
“‘Hmm…dat doesn’t look anything like a sphere…’
“In Kepler’s day, all planetary orbits were thought to be perfect circles, but by Kepler’s calculations, Mars’ orbit was not.  He studied this phenomenon for a year, going through forty failed attempts of drawing maps of possible orbit shapes.
“‘A triangle?  No, too many points…a hexagon?  No, dat’s even vorse…an oval?  No, but dat’s close…vait a minute!’
“Finally, Kepler concluded that Mars’ orbit was not round at all—it was elliptical.  He studied several other planets, and found that every planet in the solar system moves in an elliptical pattern around the sun—a phenomenon he named the Law of Planetary Motion.  Kepler published his findings, but he kept the old maps of incorrect orbits that he drew as a reminder of his hard work.  When he died, the maps made their way to the Temple.  Your quest is to find the Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler and bring them back here.”

“Thank you, Olmec,” Kirk says.  “So tell us, where are the Orbit Maps?”

“The Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler can be found in the Great Seal Room,” Olmec replies.  The camera zooms in on the roll of maps placed atop the central seal holder in the room before fading back to Kirk.

“Okay, then,” Kirk replies.  “Teams, you’re now standing on the Steps of Knowledge.  In a moment, Olmec’s gonna ask you a question.  If you think you know the answer, I want you to stomp down on the ancient marking in front of you.  If you’re correct, you’ll move down to the next level.  But if you’re wrong or run out of time, I’m gonna give the other teams a chance to answer.”  Kirk begins descending the steps.  “The first two teams to make it to the bottom level will be one step closer to Olmec’s Temple.  Olmec…we’re ready for your first question.”

Olmec begins:
“Was Johannes Kepler: an astronomer, a doctor, or a composer?”
The Blue Barracudas ring in.  “Astronomer?”
“That is correct,” Olmec replies.  The Blue Barracudas proceed to the second step.
“Blue Barracudas, step down,” Kirk narrates.  “This is just the beginning, though—next question, Olmec.”

“Did Kepler teach in: Switzerland, Austria, or Czechoslovakia?”
The Blue Barracudas ring in and guess.  “Checko…Slovakia?”
“Incorrect,” Olmec replies.
The Silver Snakes ring in.  “Austria?”
“That is correct,” Olmec confirms.  The Silver Snakes step to the next level.
“Silver Snakes are right behind ‘em,” Kirk observes.  “Next question.”

“Did Kepler invent: a type of microscope, a type of telescope, or a type of kaleidoscope?”
The Blue Barracudas ring in.  “Telescope?”
“That is correct,” Olmec responds.  The Blue Barracudas step down the next-to-last level.
“The Blue Barracudas are now just one step away,” Kirk narrates.  “Let’s keep going—next question.”

“In Kepler’s time, what shape were all planets’ orbits thought to be: oval—”
The Silver Snakes ring in.  “Round?”
“That…is correct,” Olmec hesitantly responds.  The Silver Snakes step to the next-to-last level.
“The Silver Snakes are now just one step away, too,” Kirk narrates.  “Still plenty of time for our other teams, though—next question, Olmec.”

“What shape did Kepler discover that planets’ orbits actually were: oval, trapezoidal, or elliptical?”
The Orange Iguanas ring in.  “Elliptical?”
“That is correct,” Olmec replies.  The Orange Iguanas step down.
“The Orange Iguanas are on the board now,” Kirk narrates.  “Next question.”

“According to our legend, what planet did Kepler first discover had an elliptical orbit—”
The Orange Iguanas ring in prematurely.  “Uh…the earth?”
“That is not one of our three choices,” Olmec explains.  “The three choices are: Mercury, Venus, or Mars?”
The Blue Barracudas ring in.  “Mars!”
“That is correct!” Olmec exclaims.  The Blue Barracudas jump down to the bottom step.
“And there’s our first team for the Temple Games!” Kirk narrates.  “We can only take one more team.  Who’s it gonna be: the Orange Iguanas, the Green Monkeys, or the Silver Snakes?  Let’s find out—next question, Olmec.”

“Is Mars known as: the Green Planet, the Blue Planet, or—”
The Orange Iguanas ring in.  “The Red Planet!” the boy shouts.
“That is correct,” Olmec replies.  The Orange Iguanas join the Silver Snakes on the second step.
“Now the Orange Iguanas are one step away,” Kirk narrates.  “There’s still time for the Green Monkeys—next question.”

“What is Mars known for having on its surface at one time: water, gold, or—”
The Silver Snakes ring in.  “Water?”
“That…is correct!” Olmec booms.  The Silver Snakes step to the bottom step.

“And we’ve got our two teams!” Kirk shouts as he runs over and stands between the two advancing teams.  “The Blue Barracudas, and the Silver Snakes!  Green Monkeys, Orange Iguanas, come on down here.  You guys were great, too.  We’ve got a great gift for you, too, and here’s what it is!”  They receive 20Q’s.

“These two teams will be playing for the right to enter Olmec’s Temple, and they’re gonna do it right after this!” Kirk says.

The camera runs along the edge of the Temple and zooms in on the logs that provide the outer border of the Dark Forest before the title appears onscreen, and we go to a commercial.

[The Bandit King]

We return from the break to find Kirk standing in front of the Temple with the two advancing teams on either side of him.

“Welcome back,” he says.  “Now, the glory goes to the fastest and the strongest.  But before that happens, let’s get to know our two teams a little bit better…

“On the Silver Snakes, we have Marissa: she likes to sing and she wants to be a nurse, and her partner is Sanjay; he plays soccer and he wants to be a lawyer—let’s hear it for the Silver Snakes!”  The audience applauds for the tall girl with long black hair and brown eyes and the equally tall Indian boy with jet-black hair.

“And on the Blue Barracudas, this is Lindsay: she’s a cheerleader and a majorette at her school and she wants to be a model, and her partner is Dominique; he likes to play basketball and he wants to be an engineer—how ‘bout a hand for the Blue Barracudas?”  The audience claps for the pretty blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl and the tall African-American boy with nappy black hair.

“Okay, are you all ready to play?” Kirk asks the teams.

“Yeah!” everyone replies.

“All right, then—troops, fall in!  Now, in these Temple Games, our two teams are competing for…”  Kirk retrieves a Pendant of Life from his pouch and holds it up to the camera.  “…Pendants of Life.  The winning team is gonna need those Pendants to protect them from the dreaded Temple Guards as they make their way through Olmec’s Temple.  There are three Temple Games.  Olmec, tell us about Temple Game #1, please…”

“Yes, sahib,” Olmec replies.  The black lights under Olmec come on and he begins to explain the Temple Game:

“Before Kepler proved otherwise, all planets were thought to have a completely round path of orbit around the sun—like the wheel you’re standing on, for instance.  When Kirk gives the signal, begin running to turn the giant wheel.  For every rotation the wheel makes, it symbolizes one complete rotation of a planet.  The player with the most complete rotations at the end of thirty seconds…wins.”

“It’s a trip around the sun,” says Kirk.  “Let’s set the clock for thirty seconds!”  The clock appears at the bottom corner of the screen, all set to go.  “On your mark, get set, GO!”

Lindsay isn’t that fast, but she does have a better sense of balance than Marissa, who keeps falling on the giant Pendant-shaped wheel.  Lindsay has made nine complete rotations and Marissa has made only six by the time the game ends.

“Okay, that’s it!” Kirk shouts as he runs back onscreen and stands between the two wheels.  “You can stop spinning now, girls.  Let’s come over here and see how you did.”  He glances back at the scorecards.  “It looks like…the Silver Snakes got six rotations, and…the Blue Barracudas got nine rotations!  That means the Blue Barracudas get the half Pendant of Life!”  The audience applauds.  “The Silver Snakes are behind, but they can still catch up in this next Temple Game, worth a half Pendant.  Olmec, tell us about Temple Game #2…”

Olmec begins:
“Kepler discovered that Mars had an elliptical orbit, which applies to all eight planets in our solar system.  In this game, you will be making a model of the solar system.  When Kirk gives the signal, come down, grab a planet, come back up and stick it on the ceiling.  Then come back down, grab another planet and do it again.  The first player to place all eight planets or…the player with the most planets at the end of sixty seconds…wins.”

“We’re boldly going where no one has gone before,” says Kirk.  “Let’s set the clock for sixty seconds!”  The clock appears onscreen with a loud bang.  “On your mark, get set, GO!”

Dominique and Sanjay are both fast, and both get a planet each time they come down.  The game remains very close up until the end, when Dominique places his eighth planet with nine seconds left on the clock.

“Okay, that does it!” Kirk exclaims as he runs back onscreen and stands between the two teams’ apparatuses.  “Come on down, guys.  The Blue Barracudas got all eight planets up before time ran out, so that means the Blue Barracudas get the half Pendant of Life!”  The audience applauds for a few seconds.  “So now, the Blue Barracudas have one Pendant; the Silver Snakes don’t have any yet.  But now it’s time for the third and final Temple Game.  Olmec, tell us about Temple Game #3…”

Olmec begins to explain the final Temple Game:
“Before he discovered elliptical orbit patterns, Kepler drew maps of many orbit shapes that were incorrect.  Before you stands a wall with four orbit shapes that Kepler tried.  When Kirk gives the signal, one player from each team will shoot a ball up to their partner on the wall.  Then, their partner will catch the ball and place it on the shape.  Once a shape has been covered, climb up to the next one.  The first team to cover all four shapes, or…the team that’s further along at the end of sixty seconds…wins.”

“This is for the Temple,” Kirk explains.  “Let’s put sixty seconds on the clock, please!”  The clock appears in the bottom corner of the screen.  “On your mark, get set, GO!”

Sanjay is quick to load and shoot his cannonballs, but he has horrible aim, and they go flying everywhere.  Dominique is considerably slower at loading up his slingshot, but he is very accurate, and Lindsay manages to catch and cover up the circle, triangle, and hexagon while Marissa only manages to cover up the circle and triangle.  Lindsay catches the cannonball for the fourth shape, an oval, but can’t cover it up as time runs out.

“Okay, that’s it!” Kirk shouts as he runs back onscreen.  “Come on down, girls.  It looks like the Silver Snakes only covered up one shape, but the Blue Barracudas covered up three!  That means they win the full Pendant.  So that gives the Blue Barracudas two Pendants; the Silver Snakes didn’t score…the Blue Barracudas are goin’ to the Temple!”  Lindsay jumps up and down in excitement as Dominique applauds and cheers.  “Silver Snakes, you guys come over here.  You were great, too, and you aren’t going home empty-handed.  We’ve got a gift for you, too, and here’s what it is!”  They receive a camping package from Outdoor Products.

As the prize disappears off-screen, we see Kirk standing beside the winning team.  “Now we’ll see if the Blue Barracudas can make it through Olmec’s Temple and retrieve those Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler, and we’ll see right after this!” 

The camera pans in on the Temple and zooms in on the Orbit Maps as the title appears onscreen, and we go to a commercial.

[The Bandit King]

We return from the break to find Kirk standing in front of the Temple with the winning team.

“Welcome back to Legends: Rebirth,” he says.  “Lindsay and Dominique have proven themselves worthy, and now have the right to enter Olmec’s Temple.  But first, Olmec’s gonna give them a little information to help them retrieve the Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler…”

Olmec begins to explain the layout as the camera gives us a first-person tour of the Temple:
“You could start…by running up the stairs to the Crypt!  Grab the book from the skeletons, and pass into the Rope Labyrinth!  Maneuver through the ropes, and climb into the Great Seal Room.  Place the correct seal in the central holder, and a door may open into the Chamber…of the Sacred Markers.  Match the symbols on the right to those on the left, and pass into the Safari Room.  Push in the correct animal head and open the door to the SHRIIIINE of the Silver Monkey!  Assemble the statue and you may be headed toward the Room…of the Secret Password.  Find the tablet with the correct inscription and shout it out to open the door to the Pharaoh’s Secret Passage.  Slide down the tunnel to the Dungeon, where you could smash through the wall into the Dark Forest…but beware of the Temple Guards that may inhabit the trees!  Find the key in the tree, and you’ll enter…the Bamboo Forest!  Maneuver through the thicket, and you’ll gain entry to the Tomb of the Headless Kings.  Pull the vine to release the bones, and attach the missing skull to its proper king, then…crawl through the Labyrinth, climb through the Ledges, race down the stairs and back through the Temple Gate.  The choices are yours and yours alone!”  Olmec pauses.  “You won 2 Pendants in the Temple Games.  Who’s going first?”

“Uh, me,” says Lindsay after about a second.

“Very well, Lindsay,” Olmec replies.  “When Kirk gives the signal, you’ll race through the Gate into the Temple and make your way toward the Orbit Maps.  Hidden inside the Temple are Temple Guards assigned to protect three specific rooms.  You can trade your Pendant for an extra life and go on, but—if you’re caught without a Pendant, you’ll be taken out of the Temple, and it’ll be Dominique’s turn to enter and try his luck.  If you can reach the Orbit Maps, all the doors of the Temple will instantly unlock, and the Temple Guards will vanish.  Return through the Gate with the Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler in three minutes, and you’ll both be handsomely rewarded—and here’s how!”

• Just for making it this far, they’ll get a sports package from Regents.
• If they can grab the Orbit Maps within three minutes, they’ll also receive an Xbox 360, complete with two new games.
• And if they can bring the Orbit Maps out of the Temple before three minutes expires, they’ll win a trip to the Bahamas.

“You don’t want to go to the Bahamas, do you?” Kirk asks Lindsay.

“Um…yeah…” Lindsay replies bashfully.

“Okay, let’s see if you guys can win here,” Kirk continues.  “Dominique, what’s your team’s strategy here?”

“Uh, she said she’s gonna go up top and try to get it,” Dominique explains.  “But if that don’t work, I’ll try taking the bottom path.”

“Well, we’ll see if that’s gonna work,” Kirk says.  “Both of you get your mouthpieces in.  Let’s set the clock for three minutes, please!”  The clock appears in the bottom corner of the screen, ready to go.

“Olmec, lower your gate, if you please.”  Olmec moans gutturally as the gate is lowered and the black lights under him go out.

“Looks like we’re just about ready here,” remarks Kirk.  “Lindsay, are you ready?”

“Mm-hmm,” Lindsay replies.

“Okay,” replies Kirk.  “On your mark, get set, GO!”

Lindsay trots up the stairs at a leisurely pace.  She slides down into the Ledges and starts climbing through.  Slowly but surely, she reaches the other side (2:40) and hits the actuator for the Rope Labyrinth, which opens.  She climbs into the room and immediately starts climbing to the top.  After climbing for what seems like an eternity, she reaches the actuator for the door to the Great Seal Room and presses it, but of course, it won’t open (2:03).  She tries to pry the door open manually, but it won’t budge.  “That door’s not gonna open—looks like she’ll have to come back down!” Kirk narrates.  Reluctantly, Lindsay climbs down, trying the actuator to the Chamber of the Sacred Markers along the way, but that door also won’t open (1:40).  She finally reaches the bottom and pushes the actuator to the Tomb of the Headless Kings, opening the door (1:27).  “All right—she’s heading into the Tomb of Headless Kings!” narrates Kirk.  “She’ll have to pull the vine and…”  As soon as Lindsay enters the room, the first TEMPLE GUARD appears, flailing his arms about.  “Oh, Temple Guard!” Kirk narrates as Lindsay screams.  “She’ll have to give up a Pendant!”  Lindsay hands over her Pendant, and the Temple Guard slinks back into the shadows of the room (1:19).  Lindsay pulls the vine in the room, releasing a shower of bones.  She quickly finds the skull, picks it up, and attaches it to the stage-right king.  The king’s chest begins pulsating and glowing red, and the doors to both the Chamber of the Sacred Markers and the Bamboo Forest open (1:12).  Lindsay rushes over to the open door to the Bamboo Forest and climbs through, but no sooner has she set foot in the room than the second TEMPLE GUARD jumps out from hiding and grabs her by the arm (1:07)!

“Oh, Temple Guard!  It’s Dominique’s turn!” Kirk shouts as Dominique takes off.  He climbs through the Ledges and into the Rope Labyrinth, dashes toward the door to the Tomb of the Headless Kings, and bolts toward the open door to the Bamboo Forest (0:56).  He climbs into the room and begins making his way around the bamboo poles.  “That Bamboo Forest can really slow you down!” narrates Kirk.  Dominique reaches the other side and hits the actuator for the Dark Forest, opening the door (0:40).  “All right, now he makes his way into the Dark Forest!” narrates Kirk.  He climbs into the room and sticks his hand into the stage-right tree, but comes out empty-handed (0:33).  “Try the other tree!” suggests Kirk.  Dominique does so, but no sooner has he reached into the hole than the tree’s armlike branches lock him in a macabre embrace, indicating that a TEMPLE SPIRIT resides there (0:29).  “Oh, that tree’s possessed by a Temple Guard!” Kirk narrates as Dominique places his Pendant in the hole.  “That’s all the Temple Guards, though, so that’s good news!”  Dominique pulls a key out of the previously possessed tree and heads to the back of the room.  He tries to open the stage-right door, but the key doesn’t work (0:21).  He tries the middle door, but again, no luck (0:17).  “That door won’t open either!” narrates Kirk.  Dominique goes to the stage-left door, but Kirk says “Try to break down the wall!”  Dominique sees the wall, walks around the tree to face it, and breaks it down (0:08).  He enters the Dungeon and begins to climb up the Pharaoh’s Secret Passage, but time runs out after he disappears inside the tunnel.

“Oh, they ran out of time!” Kirk laments as Lindsay hangs her head in disappointment.  “They couldn’t reach the Maps in time!  But that’s okay—they still get the sports package, and they still leave with their dignity.  We’ve gotta get out of here, but we’ll be back next time.  Just remember: it’s not just Legends—it’s Legends: Rebirth!  Buh-bye!”

Dominique emerges from the Temple soon afterwards, and he, Lindsay and Kirk comfort one another as the credits roll.

[The Bandit King]

The Orbit Maps of Johannes Kepler
Season 1, Layout 1
Artifact Location: The Great Seal Room
Team: Blue Barracudas (Lindsay Davenport & Dominique Boudreaux)
Pendants: 2
Result: Ran out of time

What a disappointing Temple Run.  This team’s slowness was their ultimate downfall in this tough Temple Layout, and they took a wrong turn that royally screwed them over as well.

Cute little Lindsay knew what she was doing, but she was INCREDIBLY slow, and she took a major wrong turn that cost her team dearly, trying to take the direct path to the artifact.  Unfortunately, this involved climbing up the time-consuming Rope Labyrinth.  When the door to the Great Seal Room didn’t open, she tried to pry it open manually, a feat that obviously wasn’t going to work.  She had to climb all the way back down, and because of this wrong turn, wasted almost half the team’s entire time in the Temple.  She finally found an open door, and from there, made decent time before being taken out in the Bamboo Forest with 1:07 left.

Dominique made decent time up until the Bamboo Forest, where he moved a bit too slow for my tastes.  He met the third Temple Guard in the Dark Forest, and was about to try the golden door that probably would have led him into the Room of the Secret Password until Kirk told him to “break down the wall”, which he did.  Time ran out as he was climbing up the Pharaoh’s Secret Passage.  If Lindsay hadn’t have wasted so much time, they still probably couldn’t have reached the Orbit Maps.  This team just wasn’t strong enough to score a win.  Too bad…

Rating: 2.5 out of 10

Notes and Trivia: This is the first time in Legends: Rebirth that the three Temple Guards are hidden in consecutive rooms.

When Olmec asks the team “Who’s going first”, Lindsay answers him by saying, “Uh, me”.  This is the first time since “The Walking Stick of Harriet Tubman” that someone answers this question with anything other than “I am” (Chris answered the question with, simply, his name).