Author Topic: Legends of the Cable Box: The Bucket Hat of Gilligan (Read 2369 times)

The 49th Ronin · « **on:** August 08, 2006, 05:35:04 PM »

Legends of the Cable Box
Season 1, Episode 1
The Bucket Hat of Gilligan

Static fills the screen and white noise accompanies it. Slowly, the screen comes into focus. An empty background. As soon as the scene settles, Philoh?s head pops on the screen.

PHILOH:
Do you like TV the way we like TV? I am Philoh, the lord and master of the airwaves and overseer of every TV show ever broadcast. Today, one of these six teams (PIP windows appear revealing the teams) is going to prove their worth by exhibiting their skill in feats of strength and inteligence. Whoever said TV was bad for you never tried to take on The Cable Box (Cut to a wide shot of Philoh?s screen adjacent to the box): An intricate labyrinth where a prop from television history can lead to fortune and glory. But as you can see (bangs on screen in front of him), the great power of being emperor of the boob tube comes with limitations. So I have some help. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for my partner, the one, the only, the fleshy, Ken Ober!

KEN:
Thank you, Philoh! Ladies and gentlemen, I am back from the realm of obscurity and I would like to thank the kind, kind man on the giant TV screens behind me for saving me from a future of crappy VH1 nostalgia shows.

PHILOH:
My pleasure Ken, thanks for working so cheap. And now if you?re done hogging the spotlight, let?s meet our six teams all fighting for a nice heap of prizes.

KEN:
That?s right, we got lot?s of nice things for all of you coming out of our paychecks, but only one team?s getting a shot at winning the motherload today. Will it be?: (hold for applause after each team) MTV Red? Sci-Fi Blue? G4 Green? HBO Orange? ESPN Purple? Or Discovery Silver? But! Before we get to that, we need to do some basic repairs to the transmitter. Philoh, what?s wrong with it today?

PHILOH:
Today, our transmitter is faulty because it?s too top-heavy. We don?t want it to fall over, so you guys are going to have to weigh it down with these ball-bearings. (Camera shows six bins containing plastic balls on the other side of the stage) When Ken gives the signal, both team members need to run over to your bin and grab as many of those ball-bearings as you can, then run back to your section of the transmitter to deposit them. The first four teams to fill their compartment completely with their specific ball-bearings will move onto the next round and be one step closer to taking on The Cable Box.

KEN:
Thank you Philoh. Hey, before I forget, what TV prop are they going to have find today?

PHILOH:
Today, they?re searching for (PIP window appears) The Bucket Hat of Gilligan.

KEN:
OK, without further stalling, teams are you ready? Then on your marks, get set, go!

The 49th Ronin · « **Reply #1 on:** August 08, 2006, 05:42:33 PM »

The Legend

KEN:
Nice work teams, that transmitter?s not falling over anytime soon. We?re going to narrow the herd a little more here at the Steps of Knowledge. Philoh?s going to give us a brief history of Gilligan, but pay attention. You?re going to have to remember the facts if you want to move on.

PHILOH:
Debuting on CBS in 1964, Gilligan?s Island was an American sitcom that ran for three seasons. The show centered around Gilligan, the hapless first mate of the SS Minnow, a small ocean-bound ship used to take tourists on three-hour tours of the Pacific.

GILLIGAN:
Hello everybody, welcome aboard the SS Minnow. I am Gilligan, and this is The Skipper. We hope you enjoy the tour today, and I?m sure that these storm clouds are nothing to worry about.

THE SKIPPER:
I?m sure you?re right, little buddy. Before we go, I?d like to introduce everyone on board today. First are The Howells, a lovely married couple who are also, I may add, very rich. Ginger, who I am sure you recognize from her many movie roles. From the farms of Kansas is the heart of America, Mary Ann, who is seeing the ocean for the first time, and a man who introduced himself as The Professor; an intelligent man who claims to have earned his doctrine at age 25. He also claims that he can make any modern invention using only bamboo, coconuts, mud and sand. Well, that?s not foreboding at all?

PHILOH:
During a horrendous storm, the Minnow received a large hole in the side of the ship. The boat got ran aground on an uncharted, uninhabited island. They became castaways, and had to survive using any means necessary. Often times the professor would construct a special tool that would ensure their rescue, only to have Gilligan inadvertently destroy the machine and any hope of rescue. The Skipper would often confront Gilligan when this happened.

THE SKIPPER:
GILLIGAN!!! (Whack! Whack! Whack!)

PHILOH:
However, Gilligan was a very friendly person and would do many of the chores and tasks no one else on the island would do. For this reason, the other castaways frequently forgave him and went on with their island lives. After all, being on a tropical island off the coast of Hawaii wasn?t so bad.

The guests brought their luggage with them on the boat, and were able to change clothing as needed, but The Skipper and Gilligan were forced to wear the same outfits because they had no change of clothing. Gilligan himself wore a red shirt, blue sailor pants, and a bucket hat. Today, you?re going to attempt to retrieve the bucket hat, if you?re lucky.

KEN:
Alright Philoh. Nice job. Tell us, where did Gilligan?s hat wind up?

PHILOH:
Gilligan?s hat is located in Alias?s CIA Disguise Parlor

The Steps Of Knowledge

KEN:
Awesome. Alright players, you?re now standing on the steps of knowledge. In a minute, Philoh?s going to start asking some questions. If you think you know the answer, I want you to stamp down on the symbol and then give me the answer. If you?re right, you get to move down one step. If you?re wrong or stand there stammering like a deer in the headlights, you?re going to stay on that step and I?ll give another team a chance to answer. The first team to traverse all three steps and reach the bottom will go onto the next round. OK Philoh, let?s try to stump them.

PHILOH?S QUESTIONS:

1.   What channel did Gilligan?s Island appear on?
a)   ABC
b)   CBS
c)   NBC

2.   In what year did Gilligan?s Island debut?
a)   1962
b)   1964
c)   1966

3.   How long were the tours guided by the crew of the SS Minnow?
a)   Three Hours
b)   Six Hours
c)   Nine Hours

4.   What caused the Minnow to crash on the island?
a)   A broken engine
b)   A hole in the ship
c)   A disabled rudder

5.   What state did the SS Minnow depart from?
a)   Florida
b)   California
c)   Hawaii

6.   Including the crew, how many people became castaways when the Minnow crashed?
a)   Five
b)   Six
c)   Seven

7.   What abundant plant did the Professor use for many of his inventions?
a)   Cedar
b)   Bamboo
c)   Algae

8.   What was Ginger?s profession?
a)   Actress
b)   Model
c)   Neurosurgeon

9.   What color was Gilligan?s shirt?
a)   White
b)   Green
c)   Red

10.   What was the last name of the married couple?
a)   Gates
b)   Buffet
c)   Howell

11.   How old was The Professor when he earned his PhD?
a)   Eighteen
b)   Twenty-Five
c)   Thirty

12.   What state did Mary Ann come from?
a)   Nebraska
b)   Kansas
c)   Wyoming

13.   What fruit was most plentiful on the island?
a)   Coconuts
b)   Bananas
c)   Kiwi

14.   What position did Gilligan hold on the Minnow?
a)   Captain
b)   First Mate
c)   Cabin Boy

15.   What pet name did The Skipper commonly refer to Gilligan as?
a)   Little Buddy
b)   Last Mate
c)   Dum-Dum

The 49th Ronin · « **Reply #2 on:** August 08, 2006, 05:49:29 PM »

The PPV Arena:

KEN:
Welcome back everybody. We?re going to move onto the next round in just a moment, but first, we?re going to take a small break and meet the players who have made it this far. (Reads player profiles). OK, go over there and get ready, I?m going to have a little chat with the people at home. Right now, the players are competing to win these: (holds up remote) Remote controls. If at any point when they?re running through the Cable Box they experience satellite interference, they can fire their remote to change the channel and go on. But, the batteries are kind of weak, so they?ll only work for one channel change each. How will they win these coveted remotes? In the Pay Per View Arena. There will be three events tonight. Philoh, tell us about event number one.

Number One:

PHILOH:
Tonight on channel 447 in the Pay Per View Arena see (Team one) and (Team two) compete in the ultimate bout of Gilligan?s Island fandom. In our prelude event, (competitor one?s name) and (competitor two?s name) will go on a coconut harvest. When Ken gives the signal, jump up and try to grab one of the coconuts above your heads. If you grab it, place it in your bucket and jump up to grab another. If you miss, try again. Only coconuts that land in the bucket will count. The first player to get all their coconuts in their bucket, or whoever gets the most in sixty seconds wins the first remote.

KEN:
Alright, are both of you strapped into your harnesses? Nice and snug in the crotch? OK. Set the clock for sixty seconds. On your mark, get set, go!

Number Two:

PHILOH:
Tonight on channel 438 in the Pay Per View Arena, (competitor one) and (competitor two) will duel for the coveted batteries to the remote. After all, what?s a remote without batteries? In this intermediate event, you?ll be navigating the great bamboo forest. Bamboo was vital to the survival of the castaways being used to make everything from pipe systems to lounge chairs. When Ken gives the signal, step forward onto one of the bamboo steps in front of you. If it sinks, return to the start and try again. But if it supports you, you may go on and choose another. The first competitor to reach the other side of the bamboo forest, or whoever has made the most progress at the end of sixty seconds wins.

KEN:
OK teams. Get on your marks. Put sixty seconds on the clock. Ready, set, go!

Number Three:

KEN:
Alright Philoh. One event left. Hows about telling us about it?

PHILOH:
Tonight, the final showdown! On channel 463, see (team one) duke it out against (team two) for the right to enter the Cable Box, and for a remote with batteries. For tonight?s coup de grace, see a dramatic reenactment of the shipwreck of the SS Minnow. When Ken gives the signal, shove off of your Hawaiian port and paddle your boat across the stage floor. When you hit the large rock on the opposite side, get out of the boat and switch seats. Then, paddle over to the deserted island, and plant your team?s flag. The first team to do this successfully will win the full remote. Ask your local cable or satellite provider for details.

KEN:
Ahoy mateys. Prepare to shove off at the count of the three: One, two, Three!

The 49th Ronin · « **Reply #3 on:** August 08, 2006, 05:53:00 PM »

TEMPLE DIAGRAM

Up to Down, Left to Right

1. Doctor Who?s Tardis
2. YCDTOTV Lockers
3. Fox Mulder?s Office
4. Alias? Disguise parlor
5. Cheer?s Bar
6. The Satellite of Love
7. Twilight Zone Dimensional Door
8. This Old House?s Old Wall
9. CSI Forensics Lab
10. Homer?s Hand
11. Batman?s Dojo
12. The Opening Ceremony
13. The Infamous Infomercial

The 49th Ronin · « **Reply #4 on:** August 08, 2006, 05:57:25 PM »

The Cable Box:

KEN:
Welcome back everybody. (Team name) has had a lot of fun and excitement today, but now it?s time for the main event. In a minute, you?re going to be sent into the Cable Box to try and retrieve the Bucket Hat of Gilligan, but before you go, Philoh?s going to try and help you out by giving some necessary advice on how to navigate the Cable Box.

PHILOH:
Let's start with The Opening Ceremonies. Spin the five Olympic rings and pass upwards into the CSI Forensics Lab. So many handprints, but which ones open the door? Turn the switch, and the place your hands upon the pair that glow in the dark to open the door down to Homer?s Hand. Place Homer?s fat fingers on the donut and you?ll pass into the Satellite of Love. Put Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot in their respective seats in the Mystery Science Theater to go into Fox Mulder?s Office. Spin his office chair to open the X-Files and go down into Alias? CIA Disguise Parlor. Place the right wig on Sydney Bristow?s head to open the door to Dr. Who?s Tardis. Open up the jar of jelly babies to find the key to the Tardis which will let you go down into the You Can?t Do That on Television Locker Room. Open the lockers until the door opens to the Cheers Bar. Hop over the bar and pull the taps to pour the beer which will let you access the Twilight Zone?s Dimensional Door. This dimension of sight and sound requires some force to pass through, but when you do, you?ll come across This Old House?s Old Wall. Place the wooden planks against the missing spots on the wall to go into Batman?s Dojo. Punch through the sound effects to find the actuator which let you experience the Infamous Infomercial. Stick the Ginsu Knives into the fruit to open the doors. Every room has at least two doors, but not every one will open. Be aware of blocked routes and dead ends. Satellite interference will occur in three specific rooms. If it happens, fire your remote control to regain transmission, but be aware that afterwards your batteries will die. If you hit a second bout of interference, you will lose transmission and it will be your partner?s turn to try their luck. If you can reach Gilligan?s Hat, all the doors will instantly unlock and there will be no more satellite interference. Return Gilligan?s Hat to Ken before three minutes has expired, and you will both receive the Motherload. (Reads prizes)

KEN:
OK. When I give the signal, run up those stairs. You can enter either the Cable Box through either The Twilight Zone?s Dimensional Door, or This Old House?s Old Wall. Then you make your way through the rooms towards Alias? CIA Disguise Parlor and get that hat. Somewhere in there is a hidden remote control. If you can find it, you can use it when needed. Other than that, you?re ready to go. Mouthpieces in. Put sixty seconds on the clock. On your mark. Get set. Go.

The 49th Ronin · « **Reply #5 on:** August 08, 2006, 06:36:09 PM »

Name of Artifact: The Bucket Hat of Gilligan
Season: 1
Layout: 1
Result: Ran out of Time
Time Remaining: N/A
Team: ESPN Purple
Remotes won: One
Location of Artifact: Alias' CIA Disguise Parlor
Cable Box Diagram:

Run Summary: Pat began logically by choosing the most direct route to the artifact, but the lack of open doors forced him to go the long way. He went around and tried to take the shortest route possible, but the lack of open doors forced to make him go the long way. He lost transmission in the infamous infomercial, and Leah went in to clean up the slack. She found the hidden remote in the Opening Ceremonies, and continued across the top of the Cable Box until she reached Mulder's Office where she met the final bout of interference with eight seconds left. She quickly fired her remote, but time ran out before she could complete the final objective, which is a shame because it looks like the door that went down opened. Kudos for their attempt though.

Episode Highlights: Discovery Silver can be seen being scolded by the stagehands for trying to sneak balls from ESPN Purple's bin during the Transmitter. The Player from Sci-Fi Blue jumped to hard during the first PPV event and whacked his head on the above area holding the coconuts. Pat almost loses his pants going through the Dimensional Door. Leah tripped over one of the boards in This Old House's Old Wall and almost hit her face on the wall. Good thing they wear mouthguards.

Fanfic of a Fictional Show. Copyright Adam ''Carveyfan'' Jaspering. Special thanks go out for the room ideas to the appropriate people.

Bluebarracuda7 · « **Reply #6 on:** August 08, 2006, 07:32:46 PM »

that was very...interesting

but kinda confusing.

The 49th Ronin · « **Reply #7 on:** August 08, 2006, 07:37:11 PM »

Confusing how? What needs to be clearer?

dshban · « **Reply #8 on:** August 08, 2006, 08:40:02 PM »

I was a tad confused about how the teams entered the Cable Box, and the temple layout is really cool but confusing - probably because it's different to Legends. Fantastic work though, Carveyfan. Round of applause, everyone!