Would the Purple Parrots do better? Day 18: Good-Luck Watch of Empress Eugenie

[The Red Jaguars]

We are always talking about episodes where the Purple Parrots would do better had they gone to the temple. Despite having very few temple appearances, the Purple Parrots were still a pretty dominant temple team and appeared in many temple games. In this topic, I am going to cover a temple LOSS where the temple team loses. We will decide whether the losing Purple Parrot team would do better than the current temple team. I know that a lot of this topic is based on speculation (the losing team could be a Jessica and Jarrid or a John and Tia), but you can also judge how well the players will perform by their pre-temple performances.

First up is "The Golden Cup of Belshazzar"! Here is a summary of the Red Jaguars progress in that episode:

Previous Results:
"The Golden Cup of Belshazzar": No (4), Yes (0)
"The Golden Cricket Cage of Khan": Yes (5), No (0)
"Elizabeth I's Golden Ship": No (3), Yes (1)
"The Lucky Pig of Amelia Earhart": Yes (5), No (1)
"The Golden Chains of Zenobia": No (5), Yes (0)
"The Golden Jaguar of Atahualpa": No (5), Yes (0)
"The Crown of Queen Nzinga": Yes (4), No (0)
"The Golden Goblet of Attila the Hun": Yes (2), No (2)
"The Priceless Portrait of the Polynesian Girl": No (4), Yes (0)
"The Bonnet of Dolley Madison": No (4), Yes (0)
"The Marble Armrest of Xerxes": Yes (4), No (0)
"The Smashed Printing Plate of Frederick Douglass": Yes (4), No (0)
"The Missing Portrait of Hans Holbein": No (4), Yes (0)
"The Enormous Feather of the Me Linh": Yes (4), No (0)
"The Lily-Crested Crown of Clovis I": Yes (4), No (0)
"The Melted Head of Madame Tussaud": No (4), Yes (0)
"The Lost Taj Mahal Turban of Aurangzeb: No (2), Yes (0)



(credits to nicklegends/Ed for this graphic)

Do you think the Purple Parrots would've done better than this team? My opinion will be in the next post.

[The Red Jaguars]

I voted no for this episode. Even though Katherine and Sean made little progress, this temple layout was just insane and one of the hardest ones on the show. There was no correct direction to go and was riddled with dead ends. If the Purple Parrots had this layout, they would've me the same progress as the Red Jaguars. No team would be successful with this layout. 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

No. The layout was impossible, and the Parrots completely bombed the last temple game.

[The Red Jaguars]

This is the type of temple run where you could give it Jennifer and Damian and they still would lose by a long shot. There was no way any team would've had success with it.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Plus, imagine if Katherine and Sean (and the Purple Parrots for that matter) got to tape their temple run in S1L1 layout after all. That would've been another Dead Man's Hand type run waiting for happen. With even more dead ends galore.

[AimYourBrent]

This layout was a nightmare! I don't know if ANYONE could have won with this abomination.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

I agree. I don't think even the Lawrence of Arabia team would've won with that layout either. O_O

[The Red Jaguars]

Yeah, no way Galileo, Sir Edmund Hillary, John Sutter, or Lawrence of Arabia's team had a chance at this layout. Even Jessica and Jarrid in their prime wouldn't have done better.

I think we can all agree that the Purple Parrots would not have had a better outcome with Belshazzar's layout.

Next up is "The Golden Cricket Cage of Khan". Do you think that Mike and Michelle would've done better than the Silver Snakes? Here is a summary of the temple run below.



(Credit to nicklegends for this graphic!)

[The Silver Monkey]

Yes. Even a monkey could do better than the piss-poor excuses for human beings that are Jon and Tia.      

[The Red Jaguars]

I voted for a yes in this layout, no questions asked. Even though the Purple Parrots kind of sucked in this episode, there is no way that they could do worse than John and Tia. I mean the Silver Snakes only made it through 4 room in 3 minutes! There is no way in hell that the Purple Parrots suck that bad. ANY team would've done better than John and Tia.  

[Purple Parrots Fan]

YES. Any team would've done better than John and Tia. Remind me again how "the Purple Parrots would've done a worse job" again?

[The Red Jaguars]

YES. Any team would've done better than John and Tia. Remind me again how "the Purple Parrots would've done a worse job" again?

I literally can't think of a way that they could do worse. I mean John and Tia's performance alone goes way beyond my expectations for a shitty temple performance. The only way that they could be worse is if one of the Purple Parrot players doesn't make it past the Throne Room. But like TSM mentioned, even a monkey would do better than these two lost causes.   

[Purple Parrots Fan]

I mean, I know the Purple Parrots performed poorly in the temple games. But that doesn't mean they would've done worse in the temple. And it certainly doesn't mean they didn't deserve to go to the temple either. Even if they DID move too slowly, the worst that would've happened was running out of time. Or grabbing the artifact at the last second. But no way would they have done worse than John and Tia.

[The Red Jaguars]

It looks like somebody fixed their vote from a no to yes. I don't want to see any "no's" for this run.

If the Purple Parrots went to the temple, they would've made it close like Great Seal and Kamehameha. This layout was not hard at all. It just featured a really retarded team. As TMH would say, you have to be retarded as John and Tia to think that this is not the worst run ever. 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Yeah, this is a straight "yes" poll. Anyone who questions that is as retarded as John and Tia were.

And I agree, I can see this being another Great Seal or Kamehameha type run if Purple had won instead. Though if they had won or tied the last temple game, wouldn't they have gone to the temple with 2 pendants instead? And if that's the case, they would've won.