Rediscovery EP: The Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror

[The Ancient Warrior]

Author's Note: This is one of the episodes of my independent project, Legends: The Rediscovery.  More information on the project can be found by following this link.

Episode 8: The Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror

The camera pans through a thick jungle to stop in front of an ancient temple. The giant stone head at the base of the temple breaks the silence:
"LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE! With your guide, Kirk Fogg!"

Kirk comes down swinging on a rope. "Thank you, Olmec! Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple. The rooms are filled with lost treasures that are protected by mysterious Mayan Temple Guards. Only Olmec knows the legend behind each of the treasures in his temple. Olmec, which legend are we going to hear about today?"

Olmec replies:
"The legend of the Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror."

"Woah, the Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror!" Kirk says in response. "Anyway, the adventure is set, and one of these six teams will have the chance to retrieve the Crown. Will it be:
"Martin and Naomi of the Red Jaguars—" the camera pans to each team in order—
"Dylan and Jennifer of the Blue Barracudas,
"Matt and Chandra of the Green Monkeys,
"Aaron and Amy of the Orange Iguanas,
"Shawn and Jacki of the Purple Parrots,
"Or Danny and Kaylee of the Silver Snakes?"

"They'll have to pass some tough physical and mental tests," Kirk says, "but in the end, only one team will earn the right to enter Olmec's Temple. First, they must cross the moat, and here's how they'll have to do it today:
"In front of each team a giant web has fallen above the Moat. One player from each team is already holding onto a long rope, and when I say 'go,' they'll swing out to the web and climb over it, then swim the rest of the Moat. Then their partner will go out to grab the rope, then go across the same way, but be careful— if your knees touch the water before you climb over the web, you'll have to go back and start over.
"When both players are across, run over and hit your team's gong." He slams down on the Red Jaguars' gong to demonstrate. "The first four teams to hit their gongs will go on to the next round, so teams— are you ready?"
The players all cheer and shout in response.
"Olmec, are you ready?" asks Kirk.
"You got it," Olmec replies.
"All right then," says Kirk. "On your mark teams, get set, GO!"

The teams get started at pretty much the same rate, with the boys on the Orange Iguanas and Silver Snakes becoming the first players to get across. Next ones are the boys on the Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas, then the girl on the Green Monkeys. "These are really good teams!" shouts Kirk. "I think it's gonna come down to who's fastest— let's see!"
The girl on the Purple Parrots is next, making it across just before the Blue Barracudas hit their gong. The girl on the Red Jaguars hops right over her net and into the last few feet of the Moat just before the second player on the Silver Snakes. They become the next two teams to ring in, with the Orange Iguanas taking the fourth and final position.
"That's it!" shouts Kirk. "We've got our four teams, and they are: the Red Jaguars—" the camera pans to each team in order— "and the Blue Barracudas— and the Orange Iguanas— and the Silver Snakes! Green Monkeys and Purple Parrots gave it a great effort too. They're not going away empty-handed, we've got a great gift for them, and here's what it is." Matt, Chandra, Shawn and Jacki will each be receiving a copy of RV on DVD.

[The Ancient Warrior]

The four teams are now at the top of the Steps of Knowledge accompanied by Kirk. "As the quest continues, it's now time for Olmec to tell us about the Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror.  But pay attention teams, because your knowledge of the legend can bring you one step closer to Olmec's Temple."

Olmec begins to tell the story:
"One of the most powerful rulers in medieval Europe was William the Conqueror.  Born in northern France, he became the duke of Normandy… but for him, this wasn't enough power.
" 'Oh, how tragic!' said William to himself. 'If I could become king, I would surely earn some more respect around here! PIERRE! Come here at once!' And so William's advisor was summoned at once.
" 'Oui, monsieur?' asked Pierre.
" 'I need a way to become king,' demanded William. 'Poison the king's food, perhaps?'
" 'Mon Dieu, non!' answered Pierre. 'Wait a minute… you didn't say "King of France"! Your cousin in England… I hear he's feeling sick and he has no kids.  You could always pay him a visit…'
"And William's cousin, the King of England, soon died, but the place on the throne was taken from William by Harold II.
" 'I can't stand by waiting any longer!' William proclaimed. 'We attack at dawn!'
"And so William invaded England, overthrew Harold II, and became the new king.  He was crowned on Christmas Day in 1066 and ruled for years, also fathering eleven children.
"William the Conqueror died in 1087, but those who were to bury him couldn't pick a sarcophagus large enough.  William's enormous body couldn't fit into the small coffin, but after the head bishop removed his crown the others began to stuff his body into the coffin anyway.  His body burst open, and his entrails spilled out all over the bishops as well as his regal crown, which made its way to the Temple.  Your quest is to retrieve the Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror and bring it back here."

"Yuck! Sorry I asked," Kirk says after Olmec finishes telling the story, getting a good laugh out of the audience. "But tell us, Olmec, where is the Crown?"
Olmec replies darkly:
"The Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror is in the Tomb… of the Headless Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiings."

"Okay then," Kirk begins, walking down the steps. "Teams, you are now standing on the Steps of Knowledge, and in a minute, Olmec will ask you a question about the legend.  If you think you know the answer, stomp down on the ancient marking in front of you.  If you're first, your step will light up, and you'll have three seconds to answer.  If you're right, you can move down to the next level, but if you're wrong or run out of time, one of the other teams will get a chance to answer.  The first two teams to make it to the bottom level will be one step closer to Olmec's Temple.  Okay Olmec, we're now ready for your first question."

Olmec begins:
"William the Conqueror became the king of what country—?"
Naomi stomps down early: "England."
"Correct," replies Olmec, and so the Red Jaguars get to move down one step.

Olmec then asks:
"Who did William defeat to become king of England: Harold II, Edward the Confessor, or—?"
Aaron rings in: "Harold II…?"
"Correct," answers Olmec, and so the Orange Iguanas get to move down one step.

Olmec asks:
"Before he became king of England, William was the duke of—?"
Martin buzzes in too early: "France…?"
"That is not one of our three choices," says Olmec. "The three choices are—"
Jennifer rings in, but doesn't say anything before a bell sounds. "Time's up! He was the duke of Normandy."
"Okay, nobody scored on that one," narrates Kirk. "Next question, Olmec."

Olmec asks:
"What famous battle was fought to decide who gained the English crown: The Battle of Hastings—?"
Amy rings in: "True… the Battle of Hastings…?"
"That is correct," replies Olmec, and so the Orange Iguanas get to move down again.
"Orange Iguanas are now only one step away from the Temple Games," Kirk informs the audience. "Olmec, continue."

Olmec does so by asking:
"In what year was the Battle of Hastings fought: 1002, 1066, or 1087?"
Danny rings in: "1066."
"Correct," replies Olmec, and so the Silver Snakes get to step down a level.  Olmec then asks:
"What happened when the bishops tried to stuff William's dead body into the coffin: His body burst open, The coffin broke, or—?"
Dylan buzzes in: "Broken open… his body, it exploded open…?"
"Good enough for Olmec," says Olmec in response, and so the Blue Barracudas are now on the board.

The talking rock follows up with this question:
"What is the body of water that separates England and France called: The English Channel, The Gulf of France, or the Bering Strait?"
Aaron rings in: "The English Channel."
"That is correct!" shouts Olmec, and so the Orange Iguanas get to move down to the bottom step.
"We've got our first team going on to the Temple Games!" announces Kirk. "We're still looking for one more team, but who's it gonna be— the Red Jaguars, the Blue Barracudas, or the Silver Snakes? Next question, Olmec."

Olmec asks:
"Which of these structures connects England to France: A bridge, A tunnel, or A monorail?"
Jennifer stomps down first: "A tunnel…?"
"That is correct," says Olmec, and so the Blue Barracudas can step down.
"One more correct response, Blue Barracudas, and you'll be going to the Temple Games along with the Orange Iguanas," explains Kirk. "But the other teams can still catch up.  Next question."

Olmec asks:
"What is the capital of England today—?"
Dylan rings in and he and Jennifer shout in unison: "London!"
"That is correct!" Olmec yells, and the Blue Barracudas jump down to join the Orange Iguanas on the final step.
"That's it!" Kirk announces. "We've got out two teams, and they are the Orange Iguanas and the Blue Barracudas! Too bad we couldn't let all of you win, the Red Jaguars and Silver Snakes were good teams too.  But they won't be going away empty-handed, we got a nice gift for them." Martin, Naomi, Danny and Kaylee will each be receiving a prize package from AND 1.

[The Ancient Warrior]

"Now," says Kirk, "the glory goes to the fastest and the strongest, but before we continue, let's get to know our teams a bit better. On the Blue Barracudas, we have Dylan. How old are you?"
"Thirteen," Dylan replies.
"And you're come all the way from Los Angeles to be here," reads Kirk. "What's it like out there?"
"Well I'm from the Venice-West L.A. area," he replies, "and I like to surf at Venice Beach and skateboard on the boardwalk. It's real nice and sunny out there, why not take a vacation there once you're done tapin' for the season?"
"I think I'll do that when I get the chance," Kirk says with a laugh. "And your partner here is Jennifer. And how old are you?"
"Twelve," replies Jennifer.
"And you're all into music," Kirk reads. "Tell me about that."
"I'm learning to play the guitar in school," explains Jennifer, "and I'd like to be a singer and songwriter when I grow up."
"Well you'll have to make some music in these Temple Games," says Kirk. "Let's hear it for the Blue Barracudas!" The audience applauds for a second. "On the Orange Iguanas, we have Aaron. How old are you?"
"Thirteen," answers Aaron.
"And you're into fishing and you've been to all 50 states," reads Kirk. "Tell me about that."
"We've got family all over the place," Aaron explains. I've got a big piece of the family living around California, my uncle lives in Texas, I've got a second cousin who lives with his wife in Anchorage, Alaska— nobody's in Hawaii, but we all went there for a week-long vacation when I was little."
"This boy's one travelin' fool," says Kirk, allowing the audience to applaud. "And Amy, you write short stories, but you want to be a dentist. Why's that?"
"I… I've always had a bad smile in pictures," Amy struggles to explain, "but at least other people won't have to deal with a bad photo if I can help them."
"Is it really that bad?" asks Kirk. "Can you show us?" Amy then gives a gentle smile. "It doesn't look that bad. But maybe winning in the Temple Games will be something to smile about. Let's hear it for the Orange Iguanas!"

"Why don't you guys go get ready for the first Temple Game," Kirk says, "and the girls can go get ready for the second. Now, let me tell you what's gonna happen here. In the Temple Games, these two teams will be competing to win Pendants of Life. The winning team will need the Pendants to protect themselves from the dreaded Temple Guards when they go to Olmec's Temple. There are three Temple Games, and Olmec will tell us about Temple Game #1."

Olmec begins:
"William the Conqueror had to sail across the English Channel to take the throne from Harold II. Fortunately for you, your voyage will be much shorter. When Kirk gives the signal, row from the dock to the island, then get out of the boat to mount your flag. Then grab the crown found on the island, turn the boat around and pull yourself back to the dock. If you touch the floor at any point, you must begin that leg of the trip again.
"The first player to mount the flag and return to the dock with the crown— or the player that's furthest along after 30 seconds— wins."
"Okay then, let's put 30 seconds on the clock and set sail," says Kirk. "Ready, set, GO! Bon voyage!"
Dylan and Aaron sail out from the dock and mount their flags quickly. However, after grabbing the crowns, turning the boats around uses up a bit of time. After this the boys pull back in to the docks really quickly, but Dylan gets back and appears next to Kirk first with 3 seconds left on the clock. Aaron appears only a few seconds later.
"It was a close one," comments Kirk, "but Dylan got here first. Blue Barracudas win a half Pendant of Life!" The audience claps again. "Orange Iguanas can catch up in the next game, it's also worth a half Pendant. Olmec, tell us about it."

Olmec continues:
"Before setting sail for England, William had to gather weapons for all of his men. Here, you must find weapons for only four soldiers. When Kirk gives the signal, run out to grab the first sword and return without being hit by the swinging obstacles. Then go back to retrieve the next.
"The first player to retrieve all four swords— or the one that's retrieve the most in 60 seconds— wins."
The camera fades to Kirk. "Let's put 60 seconds on the clock and start the obstacles," he says. The spotters begin to push the sandbags hanging from the ceiling. "Ready, set, GO!"
Jennifer and Amy slowly crawl out, doing their best to avoid being hit. Within the time limit, nobody gets hit by a sandbag, but the girls are so concerned about being hit that they both move rather slowly. Time runs out just as they are both heading back along the cubes to retrieve another sword.
"Time's up!" announces Kirk, running over to count the number of plastic swords collected by each player. "Jennifer got one, two, three swords, and Amy got one, two, three swords! It's a tie— they both get a half Pendant each!" The audience applauds again. "So Blue Barracudas have one Pendant, Orange Iguanas have a half, but the third and final game's worth a whole Pendant. Olmec, tell us about Temple Game #3."

Olmec narrates:
"Before William the Conqueror arrived, there was a scramble for power in England. Rulers were replaced by another who also would not rule for long. Now you must take out these rulers in succession. When Kirk gives the signal, load your slingshot to knock over the target on your pedestal, then your partner will take aim. If the target is knocked down, your team wins a point, then the target is set back up again.
"The first team to score ten points— or the team with the highest score after 90 seconds— wins."
"This is for the Temple!" Kirk shouts. "Let's put 90 seconds on the clock. Ready, aim, FIRE!"
The boys load first and shoot for their targets. Dylan hits his target easily, but Aaron's cannonball bounces off into the Ledges. Then Jennifer and Amy both score, whereas on the third shot both players' cannonballs fall right out of their slingshots. The game more or less continues the same way until the lights flash to indicate that time is up.
"That's it! Let's see how they did!" shouts Kirk, coming over to declare a winner based on the spotters' scoreboards. "Blue Barracudas got seven points, but the Orange Iguanas only got six. Blue Barracudas get the full Pendant, that gives them two, Orange Iguanas had a half. The Blue Barracudas are goin' to the Temple!" Dylan and Jennifer then high-five each other. "Orange Iguanas gave it a great effort. They're not going away empty-handed, here's what we've got for them." Aaron and Amy will each be receiving a $100 U.S. Savings Bond provided by Nestle.

[The Ancient Warrior]

"Olmec!" calls Kirk. "The Blue Barracudas have proven themselves worthy and've earned the right to enter your Temple. But before we go, can you give us any hints to help them retrieve the Crown of William the Conqueror?"
Olmec begins to give the rundown:
"You could start by running up the stairs to the Vault. Turn the wheel to open a door which may take you into the Great Chasm. Here you could choose to swing across the gap and climb up into the King's Storeroom. Smash the clay pots to find the key; that will lead you into the Chamber of the Sacred Markers. Match the symbols on the right to those on the left and pass into the Room of the Ancient Warriors. Place yourself in the correct armor to open the door to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Assemble the statue there and you may be headed toward the Room of the Secret Password. Find the tablet with the correct inscription, and shout it out to open the door to the Pharaoh's Secret Passage.
"Slide down the tunnel to the Quicksand Bog, where you could smash through the stone wall and into the Dungeon of the Lone Column. Reach into the column to find the key, or knock it over and you'll enter the Junction of the Secret Shafts. Race across the room and you'll gain entry to the Tomb of the Headless Kings, where you can grab the Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror. Attach the skull on the altar to its proper king to release the doors. Then, pass through the Great Chasm, climb through the Ledges, race down the stairs and back through the Temple Gate. The choices are yours and yours alone." Olmec pauses for a second here. "You won 2 Pendants in the Temple Games. Who's going first?"
"I am!" shouts Dylan eagerly.
"Very well, Dylan," replies Olmec as Kirk hands out the Pendants of Life. "Good luck to both of you."

"All right then," Kirk says, beginning to explain the rules. "When I say 'go,' you'll race through the gates into the Temple and make your way toward the Crown. Be careful though— inside the Temple are many locked doors and dead ends. But to make up for this, there are three old shafts somewhere in the Temple. If you can find one and it's open, you can jump in and slide down to the Junction of the Secret Shafts. Also beware, because there are Temple Guards assigned to protect three specific rooms. If you enter one of those rooms, the Temple Guard will jump out and grab you. You can trade your Pendant for an extra life and go on, but if you're caught without a Pendant, you'll be taken out of the Temple— and it'll be Jennifer's turn to enter and try her luck. As soon as you reach the Stained Crown, all the doors of the Temple will instantly unlock, and the Temple Guards will vanish. Return through the gates with the Stained Crown of William the Conqueror in three minutes, and you will both be handsomely rewarded— and here's how!"
• No matter what happens, Dylan and Jennifer will each receive a Bollinger-brand trampoline.
• If the team reaches the Stained Crown before time's up, they will win $500 Toys 'R' Us gift cards.
• If they can get the Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror out of the temple before their three minutes run out, they'll get the grand prize— a pair of three-day vacations for four in the Bahamas!

"Sounds great, so let's see if they can take it all home!" Kirk says, excited. "By the way, Jennifer, what's your strategy?"
"Well we're just gonna try and get to the Crown the shortest way we can," replies Jennifer. "And if he gets taken out, I gotta just follow down his path and see if we can get there."
"Well let's see if that works out for you," Kirk says. "Lower the gate, Olmec!"
As the Temple Gate drops, Dylan and Jennifer put in their mouthpieces.
"And you've got three minutes to get to the Crown, so let's set the clock for three minutes. Ready, GO!"

Dylan races up the steps and makes a nice slide down into the Ledges. He gets into the Great Chasm with 2:45 left, his eyes set on the Entrails-Stained Crown. But when he makes his way across the foam blocks to try the door into the Tomb of the Headless Kings, the door doesn't open. After hitting the actuator a couple more times, he starts climbing up the wall to get to the doors into the other rooms of the central shaft. He finally makes it to the ledge, and goes through a door up into the King's Storeroom. (2:11) Dylan then holds each pot and punches it, finding the key in the second pot. However, it's not until he tries all three keyholes that any door opens. Only the door to the Room of the Ancient Warriors opens, and at this point, Dylan is convinced he needs to keep going toward the corner rooms of the Temple and then switch to the lower floor from there.
1:49 seconds remain when Dylan enters the Room of the Ancient Warriors with his Pendant of Life still in hand. He tries the camera-right suit of armor first, then goes to the one closest to the locked door and pulls down its arms. It turns out the correct suit of armor was the middle one, so Dylan ends up having to try all three before anything opens up. He then heads into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey with 1:22 left.
"No Temple Guards yet! I think he might take it all the way!" shouts Kirk, with Jennifer jumping up in down in excitement next to him. Dylan manages to grab all three pieces of the monkey statue at once, but has trouble jamming the head down (it was turned to the side a little). Once he turns the head correctly and slams it into place, the door opens into the Quicksand Bog— though Dylan misses this and goes into the Room of the Secret Password with 58 seconds remaining, only to meet his first TEMPLE GUARD!
Dylan has his Pendant, and gives it to the Guard so he can start looking for the right password in the cabinets. Could it be: "OPEN SESAME!" It's not, but maybe the right password is: "LONG LIVE OLMEC!" Second try's the charm, and so he slides down the Pharaoh's Secret Passage to the Quicksand Bog with 35 seconds left, and out from the murky quagmire emerges the second TEMPLE GUARD!
Jennifer has to go in now, but with a short 32 seconds left, chances of even reaching the Crown are zero. She crawls out of the Ledges and into the Great Chasm with 0:19 left, tries the door into the Tomb of the Headless Kings, and when that doesn't work she starts scaling the wall to get to the open door into the King's Storeroom. She keeps slipping, however, and is starting up the wall for the fourth time when time runs out.
"That's it! Time's up! C'mon over here!" announces Kirk. "Jennifer… you had a tough time in the Pit of Despair. What happened?"
"I don't know… I just keep slipping," Jennifer replies, laughing it off.
"I wish you could've had more time, Dylan cleared out a major path," says Kirk. "But you still get the trampolines, and you had a great time. Join us next time for another great legend of the Hidden Temple!"

[The Ancient Warrior]

Episode Summary
Episode 8: The Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror

Name of Artifact: The Entrails-Stained Crown of William the Conqueror
Season: 1
Layout: 2
Result: Failed acquisition
Team: Blue Barracudas
Pendants Won: 2
Location of Artifact: The Tomb of the Headless Kings




Can I start off by saying the artifact was convincing yet disgusting? The original show had some dark legends, but the worst was probably the suggested cannibalism (it never happened DURING the legend, only prior) in "The Shriveled Hand of Efoua," but I can't believe a legend with gory details like this one actually got past the radar. Lazy censors?

Anyway, the Blue Barracudas seemed like a good team, having placed first in the Moat and won two Pendants in the Temple Games, but this was another difficult design like the episode before it. Dylan went first and hoped the doors would open to go directly into the Tomb of the Headless Kings, but no dice. So he had to climb up the Great Chasm wall into the King's Storeroom, which took a total thirty-four seconds. He didn't run into the first Temple Guard until he got to the Room of the Secret Password, but he was taken out in the next room with 32 seconds left. Jennifer tried to follow Dylan's path, but she wasn't all that fast and she had a tough time climbing the walls as well. As a result, she couldn't even leave the Great Chasm before time expired.

Trivia and Records:
This is the only episode in which an artifact is in the Tomb of the Headless Kings. Also, the two Layout II "Crown" episodes were, interestingly enough, taped on the same day— when Olmec gives the location of the Entrails-Stained Crown and the camera zooms in on it, you can see the Thorn Crown of Emperor Augustus in the Chamber of the Sacred Markers.