The Burnt Robe of the Celtic Druid

[The 49th Ronin]

Legends of the Hidden Temple
Lost Season 4, Episode 33
The Burnt Robe of the Celtic Druid

The camera traverses its way through several plants to simulate a thick rainforest. It eventually makes its way to a large stone head. Its eyes light up and it begins to speak.

OLMECpx]
The Moat:[/b]
OLMEC:
One partner from each team is kneeling on a raft and holding a lasso that was once used by the legendary Pecos Bill. When Kirk gives the signal, throw that lasso over the moat and try to ensnare the metal post on the opposite side. When you succeed, pull yourself across on the raft. Once you reach the other side, it will be your partner?s turn to pull the raft back and pass in the exact same way. Once both teammates have reached the other side, run over and hit the gong. (Kirk hits gong for clarification) The first four teams to hit their gong will go on to the next round.

KIRK:
Let?s get into position. Teams are you ready? (wait for response) Olmec, are you ready?

OLMEC:
Let?s do this like Brutus.

KIRK:
All right, teams: on your marks. Get set. GO!

[The 49th Ronin]

The Legend:
KIRK:
As the quest continues, it?s now time for Olmec to tell us about the Burnt Robe of the Celtic Druid. But teams, you?re going to have to pay attention because it will be your knowledge of the legend that will bring you a step closer to Olmec?s Temple.

OLMEC:
Deep in the English countryside near the town of Amesbury lies the world landmark Stonehenge. The large stone and earthwork sculpture has been shrouded in mystery since its construction. According to some it was used for early astrologic purposes. Others believe it was a landing spot for aliens. But most believe that it was a worship site used for Celtic Druids. The druids worshipped various parts of nature and are partly responsible for the creation of Groundhog?s Day and Halloween. Other festivals were held at the solstices; days signifying the beginning of Summer and Winter.

DRUID ONE:
What a great party. The only thing missing is a six-foot long sandwich.

DRUID TWO:
Yeah, I considered it, but I didn?t want any caterers to sullen our sacrifice. They tend to get all whiny when they think we?re trying to skip out on the bill?

DRUID ONE:
Wait a minute: Sacrifice? As in death? As in us killing someone?

DRUID TWO:
Calm down, we?re not going to kill anyone specific. We?re just going to give a life back to the gods to ensure a bountiful harvest.

DRUID ONE:
Oh, I guess that makes sense? Wait, no it doesn?t! That?s the stupidest thing I?ve ever heard! Unless someone bleeds Miracle Gro, then it?s a good plan?

DRUID TWO:
Too late for dissention, the ceremony?s beginning! Get in line?

OLMEC:
The druids stood in line while the Celtic guardians raised their sabers. Forming a six-pointed star with them, the druids all took turns standing with their heads between them, waiting for a sign from the gods that the current person was the one chosen for sacrifice. Any sign from nature indicated that a decapitation was imminent.

DRUID ONE:
By the makers; I don?t want to die! Not now and not this way. I?ve got a girlfriend and I just found out that she only dates guys with heads.

DRUID TWO:
Calm down. There are lots of people here and the odds of us being chosen as the sacrifice are very slim. If you?re nervous, just count the number of vertical stones you see. I count sixteen.

DRUID ONE:
Hey look, they form a circle.

DRUID TWO:
Very observant. I bet you also didn?t know your robe was on fire.

DRUID ONE:
What? AHH!!! Hot hot hot! Put it out!

OLMEC:
While he was panicking, the druid stepped too close to a nearby fire pit. An ember jumped from the logs onto the hem of his robe catching it on fire. The burning robe ensured his survival, because upon sight of the flames and his frantic yelling, the Celtic guards thrust their swords and cut off the head of another druid entirely. The sacrificial ceremony ended and proceeded into a festive harvest dance. The druid?s flaming robe was extinguished and kept as a reminder of how lucky he was that day. That very robe has found its way to the temple. Your quest is to find it and bring it back here.

KIRK:
Thank you, Olmec. Where is the burnt robe?

OLMEC:
The Burnt Robe of the Celtic Druid can be found in The Dark Forest.

The Steps of Knowledge:
KIRK:
OK, Teams, you are now standing on the Steps of Knowledge. In a minute, Olmec will ask you a question. If you think you know the answer, stomp down on the ancient marking in front of you. If you?re first, your step will light up and you can answer the question. If you?re right, you?ll move down to the next step. If you?re wrong or run out of time, I?m going to give the other teams a chance to answer. The first two teams to make it to the bottom level (Kirk descends steps for emphasis) will be one step closer to Olmec?s Temple. Olmec, if you?re ready, please give us the first question.

OLMEC?S QUESTIONS (answers in bold):

1)   What country is Stonehenge located in?
a)   France
b)   England
c)   Denmark

2)   What English city is Stonehenge located near?
a)   Amesbury
b)   Liverpool
c)   Nottingham

3)   Pagan religions typically worship multiple gods. Is this practice called??
a)   Orthodoxy
b)   Polytheism
c)   Sanctimony

4)   Some believe that Stonehenge was used for astrology, used for making what?
a)   Tarot Cards
b)   Horoscopes
c)   Fortune Cookies

5)   The Druids celebrated a holiday called All Hollows Eve. What holiday did this evolve into?
a)   New Years Eve
b)   Groundhog?s Day
c)   Halloween

6)   What type of swords did the Celtic Guardians bring to the ceremony?
a)   Sabers
b)   Epees
c)   Katanas

7)   How many swords were used in the sacrificial ceremony?
a)   Five
b)   Six
c)   Eight

8,)   Why did the druids offer sacrifices?
a)   For cooler weather
b)   For a good harvest
c)   To win at war

9)   The druids offered sacrifices at the beginning of Summer and Winter. What word signifies these dates?
a)   Solicit
b)   Solaris
c)   Solstice

10)    Similar to the solstice, what word signifies the beginning of Spring and Autumn?
a)   Equilateral
b)   Equine
c)   Equinox

11)   What type of execution results in the head being separated from the body?
a)   Hanging
b)   Decapitation
c)   Electrocution

12)   Because his garment caught fire, we know that the druid?s robe could not be made from what fireproof material?
a)   Cotton
b)   Wool
c)   Leather

13)   What word best describes the stone pieces used to construct Stonehenge?
a)   Pillars
b)   Columns
c)   Rubble

14)   Which of the following gases is needed for fire to burn?
a)   Argon
b)   Carbon Dioxide
c)   Oxygen

15)   The Celtic civilization was located strongly in both England and Ireland. What city is the capital of Ireland?
a)   Dublin
b)   Cork
c)   Belfast

[The 49th Ronin]

Temple Games:

KIRK:
Welcome back to Legends. Now the glory goes to the fastest and the strongest. Before we get started, let?s meet our teams. (Reads individual player profiles). All right, are you guys ready to play the temple games? All right, go get ready, I?m going to explain what?s going on here. In the temple games, teams are competing for Pendants of Life. They?ll need these pendants to protect them from the dreaded temple guards as they make their way through the temple. There are three temple games. Olmec will tell us about game number one.

TEMPLE GAME 1:

OLMEC:
According to our legend, a nervous druid?s life was spared when he wandered too close to a fire. When Kirk gives the signal, grab a piece of fire, run out and try to stick it to the druid?s robe. Once it?s stuck, come back, grab another piece of fire, and stick it on. Be careful though, because the bungee cord and soapy floors will make this task difficult. The first team to get all four flames on the druid?s robe, or whoever has the most flames attached at the end of sixty seconds wins.

KIRK:
Kids, don?t play with fire at home. We?re trained pyromaniacs. Or pyrotechnics. Both are correct. Let?s put sixty seconds on the clock. On your marks. Get set. Go.

TEMPLE GAME 2:

KIRK:
The next game is also worth a half pendant of life, and the other team can catch up there. Olmec, can you tell us about it?

OLMEC:
Many people around the world believe that Stonehenge has some sort of tie with extra-terrestrial beings. While the odds of this being true are very improbable, it doesn?t detract from the mysticism of the area. In this game, you?re going to assist the aliens in landing. When Kirk gives the signal, grab a flying saucer and glide through the air. When you?re above Stonehenge, drop it and soar back to do it again. Only saucers that land inside the ruins of Stonehenge will count towards your score. The first player to land six saucers, or whoever has landed the most at the end of sixty seconds wins.

KIRK:
Nanu-Nanu, players. Put sixty seconds on the clock. Get Ready. Get set. Go!

TEMPLE GAME 3:

KIRK:
The third and final game is worth a whole Pendant of Life, and it?ll take the cooperation of both players. Olmec, tell us about it.

OLMEC:
Many mysteries surround Stonehenge and its construction. Where did the stones come from, who put them there, and how did they get in such a perfect pattern? In this game, you?re going to construct your own Stonehenge monument. When Kirk gives the signal, uncover the pattern that you will be making, then run over to the stones and assemble them in the correct pattern. The first team to correctly match the pattern exactly, or whoever is the closest at the end of sixty seconds wins.

KIRK:
Yikes, look at all these stones, this is going to be really difficult. I don?t know how you?re? (lifts up one stone) Oh! They?re Styrofoam. Of course. OK. Sixty seconds on the clock. On your marks. Get set. Go!

[The 49th Ronin]

The Temple Run:

KIRK:
Welcome back to Legends. The ______ are tough, and have proven themselves worthy and have earned the right to enter Olmec?s temple, but before they go, Olmec is going to give some information to help them retrieve The Burnt Robe of the Celtic Druid.

OLMEC:
You could start by sliding down into The Ledges, and climbing into The Rock Quarry. Place five stones in the bucket to lift the slab and venture into The Throne Room. Sit on the throne of the pretender to spin the wall and you could choose to go into The Swamp. Maneuver yourself through the murkiness to gain access to The Dark Forest. Reach into the holes to find the key to go up, but beware the Temple Spirits that may inhabit the trees. If you decide to plow through the wall into The Dungeon, you can attempt to shimmy up the Pharaoh?s Secret Passage. At the top, you?ll enter The Shawnee Lodge. Place the sticks into the holes in the center of the room to create the tepee, and you?ll open the door to The Shrine of The Silver Monkey. Assemble the statue, and you may be headed for The Room of the Ancient Warriors. Place yourself into the suits of armor and pull the levers, and you may be headed into the Room of The Mandarin Hand. Place the fingers onto the orb and gain entry into The King?s Storeroom. Smash the clay pots to find the key. Then race across The Troubled Bridge, pass through The Crypt, race down the stairs, and back through The Temple Gate. The choices are yours and yours alone.

You won ____ pendant(s) in the temple games. Who?s going first? (wait for response) Very well _______, when Kirk gives the signal, you?ll race through the gate into the temple and make your way towards the burnt robe. Hidden inside the temple are temple guards assigned to protect three specific rooms. You can trade your pendant for an extra life and go on, but if you?re caught without a pendant, you?ll be taken out of the temple and it will be _______?s turn to enter and try his/her luck. Hidden inside the temple is the other half of your pendant. If you can find it and are carrying the other half, you?ll receive an extra life. If you reach the artifact, all the doors in the temple will instantly unlock, and the temple guards will vanish. Return through the gates with the robe within three minutes, and you will both be handsomely rewarded. And here?s how: (reads prizes).

KIRK:
Burn, baby burn. Celtic inferno? No? Ok, never mind. Mouthpieces in. Put three minutes on the clock. Olmec, can you please lower your gate? (Wait for gate to lower) On your mark, get set, go!

[The 49th Ronin]

The Burnt Robe of the Celtic Druid

Name of Artifactpx]   The Burnt Robe of the Celtic Druid
Season:   4
Layout:   8
Result:   Victory!
Time Remaining:   0:06
Team:   Orange Iguanas
Pendants Won:   1.5
Location of Artifact:   The Dark Forest
Temple Diagram:

Temple Run Summary:
A win with the artifact in The Dark Forest?! Madness! Oh well, the law of averages said it was bound to happen eventually. Megan begins by sliding down into the Ledges and meets a temple guard by having him pull her feet out from underneath her. She proceeds into the Rock Quarry, and upon finding her partner?s half pendant, does enough hand signals to land a plane. She gets taken out in the next room as she spins the throne. Joel races in and grabs the half pendant, re-spins the throne, gets the fingers on the orb, and then meets the third guard in the Room of Ancient Warriors. He gives up his pendant, assembles the monkey quickly making the smart move of grabbing all three pieces at the same time. In the Shawnee Lodge, he gets all six poles up quickly, even if he does knock some of the wall art off in the process. He crawls through the Pharaoh?s Secret Passage, down through the dungeon, knocking the skeleton over in the process. He bursts through the wall, grabs the robe and shoots his way through the Swamp, Throne Room, and knocks his head on the rock slab in the Quarry. Good thing they wear helmets, eh? He climbs his way through The Ledges, and exits the temple with a good six seconds left. Megan celebrated the victory by donning the robe and cabbage-patching through the end credits. Kirk and Joel joined in too creating one of the most ridiculous images in the show's history.

Memorable Moments: Quite appropriately, the only person who lassoed across the moat on their first try was the boy from the Purple Parrots named ?Tex.? The boy from the Silver Snakes upon buzzing in on one question at the steps of knowledge answered ?I don?t know why I buzzed in.? After the end of the Steps, the camera pans across the temple, stops at the Dungeon where the skeleton somehow waves. Joel, perhaps purposely, puts the middle finger of the Mandarin Hand on the orb last. Finally, Joel causes collateral damage in four rooms: Knocking off wall art in the Shawnee Lodge, knocking the skeleton down in the Dungeon, ripping one of the fisheyes supporting a ladder in the Swamp from the ceiling, and putting a noticeable dent in the rock slab with his head in the Rock Quarry. Methinks they?ll be taking a bit of his prize money for repairs.

Episode Fanfic written by Adam ?Carveyfan? Jaspering. Episode Summary format and Temple Diagram in the style of NickLegends. Kirk Entrance courtesy of The Purple Parrot.

[Olmec]

YAYAYA!!!!! SHAWNEE LODGE + DRUIDS + LAYOUT 8 = BEST EPISODE!!!!!