This is how I see it:
- Golden Cricket Cage: The Silver Snakes were an atrocious team in the temple, and the Purple Parrots would've done better than John and Tia. This was pretty much a given.
- Golden Ship: Gabby and Joe were way too slow in the temple. Imagine if a player moved like Robbie or Shane from Oracle Bowl? This run would've had over 2 minutes left. I think the Purple Parrots would've finished with more time than Joe and Gabby.
- Lucky Pig: Kristen was a waste of space who did not know what she was doing... at all. Annie wouldn't have acted like this. This layout was honestly not that hard aside from the one room away guard. I mean Kristen still made it one room away despite entering almost every room. A competent player would've had more success than Kristen.
- Golden Chains: Even though the Purple Parrots looked bad in the temple games, I can't see them sucking as bad as Justin. 
-
: It would've been their first victory, but I would say it is a good thing they did not make it to the temple. 
- Butch Cassidy: Another episode that would've been an easy win. They might've not been as fast as Paula, but they would've won it handily.
- Attila the Hun: Rachelle was too slow to be a frontrunner even though she had bad luck with her temple run. I don't see the Purple Parrots moving as slow.
- Smashed Printing Plate: Even though the Purple Parrots got swept, we know that Jason cheated in this episode. The Purple Parrots probably would've pulled a Queen Boadicea and grab the artifact AND not be so annoying. 
- Enormous Feather: The Purple Parrots probably wouldn't have been as retarded as Karisa. I mean if she could reach the Feather, why couldn't they?
- Empress Eugenie: This run was set up to be favorable for the temple team, but Janeen had to ruin it. The Purple Parrots probably would've given us a bottom of the central shaft run.
These are the episodes where I see the Purple Parrots posting better outcomes. 
Out of your list:
- Cricket Cage: Agreed.
Any team would've been better than them. No further explanation there.
- Golden Ship: I kind of disagree here. I mean, what if their run DID end with 2+ minutes on the clock? It would certainly make that Purple Parrot team look worse than Joe and Gabby did.
- Lucky Pig: Agreed. Annie may have been short, but at least she wouldn't have walked through every room in all of three minutes. And Scott would've been just as supportive there too. Hell if Annie had avoided the Gargoyle Room guard, she probably would've recorded a solo victory. And it probably would've been a close finish too.
- Golden Chains: Disagree with this one too. I mean, if the Parrots here were as bad as they were in the temple games, imagine how they would've handled the Treasure Room dead end. O_O
-

: Agree. With both your sentiments on the Parrots doing a better job, and how it's a good thing they didn't win. See my other rant on that.
- Butch Cassidy: Agreed. There's no reason why the Purple Parrots wouldn't have won this layout. And they probably would've won the whole thing with 2 pendants too.
- Attila the Hun: I disagree with this one. The Parrots were just as weak in the temple games as Rachelle and Taylor were. Plus, the Purple Parrot girl Jill had no enthusiasm whatsoever. Kind of like Tracy from Cleopatra.
- Smashed Printing Plate: Agreed. I don't care if the Purple Parrots got destroyed in the temple games. This layout really wasn't hard at all and the Purple Parrots there probably would've reached the artifact. Ala either Queen Boadicea (like you mentioned), or Good Luck Watch. Plus, they wouldn't have yelled at each other during the temple run. -_-
- Enormous Feather: Agreed. It's only safe to say the Purple Parrots wouldn't have stood around like idiots in the Quicksand Bog.

- Empress Eugenie: Disagree with this one. Yes Janeen was too slow, but the Parrots in this episode really rather slow and incompetent in the temple games. Especially the Purple Parrot girl Courtney if you remember her.
Out of that list, the only ones I disagree about Golden Ship, Golden Chains, Attila the Hun, and Good Luck Watch. Otherwise, are right on the money with the rest of them.

And you also forgot Nzinga, Lily Crested Crown, and most importantly, Xerxes. I mean, the latter episode is up for voting in the tourney thread right now. Certainly you think Zac's little bro would've done better in the temple, right?
