Some Thoughts about Temple Runs

[The Red Jaguars]

Kelly and Tony's dominance was much more impressive than Jeremy and Erika's. Tony and Kelly won the Steps of Knowledge, while Jeremy and Erika won a pretty pathetic round that featured a lot of bad answers. Plus, Tony and Kelly's temple win was definitely better quality than the Silk Ladder run. I know you can't choose your layout, but you should not be finishing with 33 seconds left like the Silk Ladder team did. Erika actually did a good job in the temple, but Jeremy was clueless and so slow. He is the reason why this run gets the          . Kelly and Tony were an all around better team than Jeremy and Erika.

Also, Jennifer and Damian finished first in the moat, first in the Steps, two pendants in the temple games, AND won in the temple. They are probably the team that would give Tony and Kelly a run for their money. But the only thing that drags them down was that the team really should've won 1.5 Pendants instead of 2 Pendants. This is NOT their fault because of Kirk's inability to do simple math. But this ruins their chance to overtake Kelly an Tony, unfortunately.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Yeah, Kelly and Tony definitely earned their win more, and were MUCH stronger in general. They owned everything, no wonder they're statistically the strongest team on the show. Same with Jennifer and Damian, who are still a strong team and still DID win 2 pendants after all. Even if Kirk really can't count. Jeremy and Erika were pretty dominant too, but I still just wasn't impressed with them. I mean, I can't really fault Erika since she was pretty speedy. It was Jeremy who annoyed me the moat. Silk Ladder could've been an easy Purple Parrots win. I'm sure that even if they were lackluster in the temple games, they would've been a faster team. And time and time again we always say how Xerxes, Butch Cassidy, Cricket Cage, and Lucky Pig should've been Purple Parrot temple runs. But what about Silk Ladder? Should that have been a Purple Parrot temple run as well? Or would that be overdoing it on the Purple Parrot love?

[The Red Jaguars]

Here's a different question:

Do you think Legends fans would have different opinion on runs like Smashed Printing Plate (Dana), William Tell (Lauren), and Melted Head (Jennifer) would be a little different if the female partners were not screaming at their male partners? Like, would these runs get less criticism if these girls did less screaming? And would we forgive their short time in the temple?

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Jennifer definitely, since she gets way too much undeserved flack to begin with. But Lauren and Dana? Definitely no. They would still be considered clueless and incompetent, screaming or not. Because they just made little to no progress whatsoever.

And really, which episodes would've been better if the Purple Parrots went to the temple instead? I know we have an old thread on this. But which Purple Parrot teams would've done a better job than the team that actually went to the temple?

[The Red Jaguars]

Yeah, Kelly and Tony definitely earned their win more, and were MUCH stronger in general. They owned everything, no wonder they're statistically the strongest team on the show. Same with Jennifer and Damian, who are still a strong team and still DID win 2 pendants after all. Even if Kirk really can't count. Jeremy and Erika were pretty dominant too, but I still just wasn't impressed with them. I mean, I can't really fault Erika since she was pretty speedy. It was Jeremy who annoyed me the moat. Silk Ladder could've been an easy Purple Parrots win. I'm sure that even if they were lackluster in the temple games, they would've been a faster team. And time and time again we always say how Xerxes, Butch Cassidy, Cricket Cage, and Lucky Pig should've been Purple Parrot temple runs. But what about Silk Ladder? Should that have been a Purple Parrot temple run as well? Or would that be overdoing it on the Purple Parrot love?

Jeremy was a pretty lousy player in Silk Ladder. He acted like a moron in the moat and his temple performance was sucky.   I like how he felt the need to slow down on the steps as he approached the gates. And Silk Ladder would've been an easy win for Dustin and Nicole too. I don't see how any team could lose that layout. Unless they were incompetent like Ron and Tara and didn't know how exit the temple. But I have to say that I think it is a good thing that Silk Ladder is NOT a Purple Parrot victory. It would've made Billy the Kid less special and people would probably rag on the Purple Parrots even more for having the easiest layout ever. I even think John and Tia would reach the Silk Ladder in that run. After all, Tia pushed the Heart Room actuator in Golden Cricket Cage. It would've worked in Silk Ladder.  

[The Red Jaguars]

Jennifer definitely, since she gets way too much undeserved flack to begin with. But Lauren and Dana? Definitely no. They would still be considered clueless and incompetent, screaming or not. Because they just made little to no progress whatsoever.

And really, which episodes would've been better if the Purple Parrots went to the temple instead? I know we have an old thread on this. But which Purple Parrot teams would've done a better job than the team that actually went to the temple?

This is how I see it:

- Golden Cricket Cage: The Silver Snakes were an atrocious team in the temple, and the Purple Parrots would've done better than John and Tia. This was pretty much a given.
- Golden Ship: Gabby and Joe were way too slow in the temple. Imagine if a player moved like Robbie or Shane from Oracle Bowl? This run would've had over 2 minutes left. I think the Purple Parrots would've finished with more time than Joe and Gabby.
- Lucky Pig: Kristen was a waste of space who did not know what she was doing... at all. Annie wouldn't have acted like this. This layout was honestly not that hard aside from the one room away guard. I mean Kristen still made it one room away despite entering almost every room. A competent player would've had more success than Kristen.
- Golden Chains: Even though the Purple Parrots looked bad in the temple games, I can't see them sucking as bad as Justin.
-            : It would've been their first victory, but I would say it is a good thing they did not make it to the temple.
- Butch Cassidy: Another episode that would've been an easy win. They might've not been as fast as Paula, but they would've won it handily.
- Attila the Hun: Rachelle was too slow to be a frontrunner even though she had bad luck with her temple run. I don't see the Purple Parrots moving as slow.
- Smashed Printing Plate: Even though the Purple Parrots got swept, we know that Jason cheated in this episode. The Purple Parrots probably would've pulled a Queen Boadicea and grab the artifact AND not be so annoying.
- Enormous Feather: The Purple Parrots probably wouldn't have been as retarded as Karisa. I mean if she could reach the Feather, why couldn't they?
- Empress Eugenie: This run was set up to be favorable for the temple team, but Janeen had to ruin it. The Purple Parrots probably would've given us a bottom of the central shaft run.

These are the episodes where I see the Purple Parrots posting better outcomes.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Yeah, I never thought of that before about the Silk Ladder victory. What if Dustin and Nicole of the Purple Parrots actually made it to the temple, and their run was actually pretty good? Assuming of course they didn't move slow and act smug while crossing the finish line. Then Billy the Kid would be more overlooked than ever. And then some of the criticisms of it like "it's too boring!" or "Tony's exit plan was bad!" would've actually been justified. It would've been on the same level as Dr. Livingstone and Cleopatra as forgettable and not talked about as much. But then again, the Purple Parrots in Silk Ladder probably still would've picked on for having an easy layout. Maybe not as much as what actually happened in the temple run, with Jeremy and Erika and all. But yeah, that was gonna be a victory no matter who won. Even John and Tia would've won with that layout. Though I don't even want to begin to imagine those two in that temple. O_O

[Purple Parrots Fan]

This is how I see it:

- Golden Cricket Cage: The Silver Snakes were an atrocious team in the temple, and the Purple Parrots would've done better than John and Tia. This was pretty much a given.
- Golden Ship: Gabby and Joe were way too slow in the temple. Imagine if a player moved like Robbie or Shane from Oracle Bowl? This run would've had over 2 minutes left. I think the Purple Parrots would've finished with more time than Joe and Gabby.
- Lucky Pig: Kristen was a waste of space who did not know what she was doing... at all. Annie wouldn't have acted like this. This layout was honestly not that hard aside from the one room away guard. I mean Kristen still made it one room away despite entering almost every room. A competent player would've had more success than Kristen.
- Golden Chains: Even though the Purple Parrots looked bad in the temple games, I can't see them sucking as bad as Justin.
-             : It would've been their first victory, but I would say it is a good thing they did not make it to the temple.
- Butch Cassidy: Another episode that would've been an easy win. They might've not been as fast as Paula, but they would've won it handily.
- Attila the Hun: Rachelle was too slow to be a frontrunner even though she had bad luck with her temple run. I don't see the Purple Parrots moving as slow.
- Smashed Printing Plate: Even though the Purple Parrots got swept, we know that Jason cheated in this episode. The Purple Parrots probably would've pulled a Queen Boadicea and grab the artifact AND not be so annoying.
- Enormous Feather: The Purple Parrots probably wouldn't have been as retarded as Karisa. I mean if she could reach the Feather, why couldn't they?
- Empress Eugenie: This run was set up to be favorable for the temple team, but Janeen had to ruin it. The Purple Parrots probably would've given us a bottom of the central shaft run.

These are the episodes where I see the Purple Parrots posting better outcomes.

Out of your list:

- Cricket Cage: Agreed. Any team would've been better than them. No further explanation there.
- Golden Ship: I kind of disagree here. I mean, what if their run DID end with 2+ minutes on the clock? It would certainly make that Purple Parrot team look worse than Joe and Gabby did.
- Lucky Pig: Agreed. Annie may have been short, but at least she wouldn't have walked through every room in all of three minutes. And Scott would've been just as supportive there too. Hell if Annie had avoided the Gargoyle Room guard, she probably would've recorded a solo victory. And it probably would've been a close finish too.
- Golden Chains: Disagree with this one too. I mean, if the Parrots here were as bad as they were in the temple games, imagine how they would've handled the Treasure Room dead end. O_O
- : Agree. With both your sentiments on the Parrots doing a better job, and how it's a good thing they didn't win. See my other rant on that.
- Butch Cassidy: Agreed. There's no reason why the Purple Parrots wouldn't have won this layout. And they probably would've won the whole thing with 2 pendants too.
- Attila the Hun: I disagree with this one. The Parrots were just as weak in the temple games as Rachelle and Taylor were. Plus, the Purple Parrot girl Jill had no enthusiasm whatsoever. Kind of like Tracy from Cleopatra.
- Smashed Printing Plate: Agreed. I don't care if the Purple Parrots got destroyed in the temple games. This layout really wasn't hard at all and the Purple Parrots there probably would've reached the artifact. Ala either Queen Boadicea (like you mentioned), or Good Luck Watch. Plus, they wouldn't have yelled at each other during the temple run. -_-
- Enormous Feather: Agreed. It's only safe to say the Purple Parrots wouldn't have stood around like idiots in the Quicksand Bog.
- Empress Eugenie: Disagree with this one. Yes Janeen was too slow, but the Parrots in this episode really rather slow and incompetent in the temple games. Especially the Purple Parrot girl Courtney if you remember her.

Out of that list, the only ones I disagree about Golden Ship, Golden Chains, Attila the Hun, and Good Luck Watch. Otherwise, are right on the money with the rest of them. And you also forgot Nzinga, Lily Crested Crown, and most importantly, Xerxes. I mean, the latter episode is up for voting in the tourney thread right now. Certainly you think Zac's little bro would've done better in the temple, right?

[The Red Jaguars]

The Purple Parrots in Xerxes would do much better than Noelle and Pat. The bottom floor in Season 3 was not so hard that it would require a team to use all 3 minutes to complete. Some players like TJ and David (Enormous Feather) completed the bottom floor in almost a minute. Levi and Candace would've made it to the top floor for sure in Xerxes.

Queen Nzinga is another obvious choice I can't believe I forgot. This temple run was really really easy, and the Red Jaguars still blew it in one of the worst outcomes on the show. Renee also passed up the same half-pendant that was found by... Claude from Lost Lion Tail.

Lily-Crested Crown is kind of questionable though for me. The Orange Iguanas sucked in this episode, but I don't recall the Purple Parrots being much stronger. Although if the Purple Parrots went to the temple, this run would've been more like Pearl Necklace where the team comes close.

One more I want to mention is Lost Taj Mahal Turban. Chrystine and Dean did come close and I don't entirely blame them for the triple capture (the half-pendant was pretty high above the door), but Dean moved a little slow for a frontrunner. I would give this run an honorable mention.

Also, I don't think the Purple Parrots would look pathetic if the Golden Ship run ended with 2:00+ left on the clock. The temple guard layout was unfair in that run and the half-pendant was no where in sight. I don't have a problem with Gabby and Joe already going through 4 rooms. I wouldn't really have a problem with the Purple Parrots either.

We know the Green Monkeys were dominant in the temple too and they hardly had any glaringly weak temple run. What do you guys think was their worst run?

[The Silver Monkey]

We know the Green Monkeys were dominant in the temple too and they hardly had any glaringly weak temple run. What do you guys think was their worst run?

Probably either Xerxes or William Tell.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

And also Golden Spider Web and Cosa Rara were pretty weak Green Monkey runs too. Though at least Cosa Rara had one strong player, Justin. Jessica was way too slow and hesitant. In the other aforementioned runs, (Golden Spider Web, Xerxes, Dried Apple Half), both players were terrible. Thankfully, the Green Monkeys didn't have a lot of bad runs.

And I disagree about Taj Mahal Turban being another Purple Parrot run. Dean and Chrystine really weren't that bad of a team, it was just Dean who moved too slow. That temple run probably would've turned out better if Chrystine had gone in first instead. Since she was faster, just like Katie from Mystical Spellbook was faster than Jared in that run. And I really don't think the Purple Parrots would've done a better job in Golden Ship. I wouldn't blame any team for missing a half pendant that wasn't hidden well in the first place. But even if the Parrots had gone to the temple instead, the results would've been.... the same thing. Only they would probably lose in quicker time. And then everyone would mock that temple run and call the Parrots "the loser team" for having such a supposedly bad temple run. You know casual viewers and how they love to nitpick. Plus, they weren't that strong in the temple games either. I really don't think they would've done a better job.

[The Red Jaguars]

These are the bottom 5 Green Monkeys runs in my mind:

5.) Lost Fountain of Youth - The temple guard layout was unfair and cheap, but this team was not that good either. James moved slow in each room and failed to take a vital shortcut.  Jessica didn't even know what she was doing at all either. A team like Map to the Lost Gold Mine or Lawrence of Arabia would've reached the artifact at least.

4.) Robert the Bruce - This layout was very tough, but Christine was slow and Jeremy was pretty bad. He kept stalling in each room of the temple and missed an obvious half-pendant. One temple run I am sick of watching.

3.) Cosa Rara - Justin was awesome, but Jessica was really bad. She only added one room of progress after Justin was taken out with 1:45 left. And she never assembled the Silver Monkey either.

2.) William Tell - Brett moved slow as a frontrunner, but Lauren was even more worthless. You should not be entering your third completed room with a minute left to yourself. Plus, her annoying voice makes this run hard to watch.

1.) Marble Armrest - Pat and Noelle didn't even make it past the bottom floor of the Season 3 temple...

Luckily, the Green Monkeys never had a lot of bad runs. And all of these layouts above had really tough paths to the artifacts too. Still no excuse for how bad they turned out. The only other team with a lack of bad runs are the Blue Barracudas. Stone Head and Mary Shelley are the only two bad Barracuda runs that come to mind. 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Does Jean Lafitte mean anything to you? That run was pretty bad. Also, the Silk Sash temple run was pretty subpar as well.

[The Red Jaguars]

Yeah, Jean Lafitte and Silk Sash were both runs where neither team came close to their artifacts. And both teams were running all over the place too. Both runs definitely belong on that list. Although Silk Sash had the over-the-top temple guards at least.  Also, I think Magellan deserves an honorable mention too. Jessica was a really bad player 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Yeah, it took Jessica 33 seconds to assemble the monkey. And she detoured into the Room of Harmonic Convergence for no reason. I definitely agree that Magellan was also a pretty lackluster run too. Were there any other contestants who took forever assembling the monkey? Larry and Kelly from Montezuma don't count, since they didn't even know how to assemble a monkey.