Author Topic: The Main Spam Topic 2.0  (Read 285529 times)

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Offline Purple Parrots Fan

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51330 on: August 21, 2014, 08:45:13 PM »
My mind always thinks I'm being judged too. Even when I'm convinced otherwise, I still feel the same way. Either way, hope things get better for you.

Offline Purple Parrots Fan

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51331 on: August 23, 2014, 08:13:35 PM »
What is wrong with my internet? It's either moving too slowly, or not moving at all. And Facebook is completely impossible. :?

Offline The Red Jaguars

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51332 on: August 24, 2014, 02:00:50 AM »
Are your sure your internet service provider is not Kerry? ;)

Offline Purple Parrots Fan

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51333 on: August 24, 2014, 02:06:36 AM »
It's sure acting like it is, that's for sure. You keep spraying and spraying but they just keep coming back. O_O

Offline GreenMonkeys#1

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51334 on: August 24, 2014, 10:07:04 AM »
I tried to write a script with a That 70's Show episode, do you think it's fine?

That 70's Show1 (Pilot)

Scene 1

[rhythmic drumbeat]

[fast-paced drumbeat]

*CUE ERIC, HYDE, KELSO, & DONNA*

HYDE: Eric. It is time.
ERIC: Why don't you do it
HYDE: It's your house
KELSO: Your house
HYDE: Listen to them up there. The party has reached critical mass. In 10 minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities.
ERIC: If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me.
HYDE: I'm willing to take that risk. 
KELSO: Don't worry about it. Just remain calm, keep moving.
DONNA: And above all, don't get sucked into my dad's hair. 
ERIC: What's wrong with your dad's hair
DONNA: Just don't look at it.
HYDE: And, Eric, cold. Definitely cold.

*Eric heads upstairs, exit Hyde, Kelso, Donna*

*Party at Forman's house*

*Cue Kitty*

KITTY: [Singing] Young and beautiful, Someday your looks will be gone. 
KITTY: Watch it, Eric. Hot pizza rolls. Coming through. Hot, hot.
WOMAN (offscreen): Kitty, where are you?
KITTY: Okay, take two. There's plenty. There's plenty coming. Is everybody good? I know. I know. Vienna sausages are so versatile.

*exit Kitty*

*Eric grabs Beer, enter Bob sitting*

BOB: Hi, there, Eric.
ERIC: Mr. Pinciotti.

*enter Midge*

MIDGE: So, Eric, how do you like Bob's new hair? Isn't it groovy?
ERIC: It's incredibly groovy, Mrs. Pinciotti.
BOB: Yeah, it was Midge's idea.
MIDGE: It's a perm.

*Eric grabs more beer, enter Red*

RED: Eric.
ERIC: Hi, Dad.
RED: What the hell happened to Bob's hair?
ERIC: Beats me.
RED: His head looks like a poodle's ass. Boy, just when you think you've seen everything.
ERIC: A poodle's ass walks into your party.
RED: Eric, don't use the "ass"word. You're still in high school.
ERIC: Yes, sir

*enter Kitty*

KITTY: Okay. Pigs in a blanket. Hot. Hot.
MIDGE: Kitty, is that your Toyota in the drive?
BOB: Red, a Toyota?
RED: Yeah, it's mine. I tell you, the last time I was that close to a Japanese machine, it was shooting at me.
KITTY: Honey, it's the gas crisis. What can you do?
RED: And you know, Bob, those SOBs at the dealership offered me a lousy $400 trade-in on the Vista Cruiser.
BOB: Yeah, what you gonna do?
RED: It'll rust in the driveway before I trade it in.
KITTY: Honey, it is rusting in the driveway.
ERIC: Pop, I'll take the cruiser off your hands. I don't care if it's a pump-sucker. *holds beer up*
RED: What you got there, Eric?
ERIC: Beer. I found it. Just sitting... You know... Around.
RED: Put them away, son
ERIC: I intend to, sir.

*exit Red, Bob, Midge*

KITTY: Honey. On your way to the basement, could you pop these in the fridge? They're warm.

*Eric runs downstairs, exit Kitty*

*Cue Hyde, Kelso reading magazine*

[Rock music playing]

HYDE: Check it out.

*enter Donna*

DONNA: I see that every day.

*Enter Eric with beer*

HYDE: He's alive!
ERIC: Good news. My dad is thinking of giving me the Vista Cruiser.
KELSO: You're getting a car?
DONNA: Have I told you how incredibly attractive you are, Eric?
ERIC: No
KELSO: You told me he was cute,
DONNA: No, I didn't. 
KELSO: I remember, 'cause you said not to say anything in front of Eric.
HYDE: Let's focus on what's important here, people. Forman stole something. To Forman.

*All toast*

ERIC: You know what's sad? This is the proudest day of my life. *cry*

(Roll Intro)

End Scene 1

Scene 2

*Cue Jackie, Kelso, Eric, Donna*
ERIC: Marcia, a football in the face. That's gotta hurt.
DONNA: Ouch, my nose!
ERIC: That's gonna be huge in the morning.
DONNA: Huger than my boobs?
ERIC: Bigger than the left one.
JACKIE: Why are we watching this without the sound? I am totally confused.
ERIC: Here, use the earphone.
KELSO: So, what's the deal with the Vista Cruiser?
ERIC: The deal is, there is no deal yet.

[Donna shushing]

KELSO: How are we gonna get to the concert?
DONNA: Shut up. 
JACKIE: What concert?
KELSO: Todd Rundgren.
JACKIE: When?
KELSO: This weekend.
JACKIE: Who's going.

[chuckles nervously]

KELSO: Eric, and Donna, and me, and Hyde, and the foreign kid Fez. Pretty much everybody. And you.
JACKIE: Good. Thank you for telling me Michael.
ERIC: I'm getting a soda.
DONNA: Yeah. 
KELSO: Yep, me, too.
DONNA: Sit down!

*exit Eric, Donna*

JACKIE: You don't want me to go to the concert. Is that it?
KELSO: I didn't know if you liked music.
JACKIE: Michael. 
KELSO: I didn't invite you to the concert because I know you really don't like my friends.
JACKIE: Did you tell them that?
KELSO: No.
JACKIE: Michael. Don't tell our private conversations to other people. We have to have our own private conversations.
KELSO: Also, I didn't think you'd be interested in Todd Rundgren. I mean, like you said, he's no Frampton.
JACKIE: I love Todd Runddamen. I have the 45 of Hello, it's me. Remember the night we listened to it? We can have fun at the concert, too. Especially, in the car on the way back.
KELSO: Okay, you can go.
JACKIE: Only if you want me to.
KELSO: I want you to.

[Jackie giggling] (Kelso on top of Jackie)

*enter Eric, Donna*

ERIC: Jackie, I guess you're going to the concert with us.

[Jackie exclaims]

JACKIE: I can't wait. So, Michael, you wanna go back to my house and listen to Todd Grunion records?
KELSO: Yeah, sure.
JACKIE: Okay, bye.

*exit Jackie, Kelso*

ERIC: You kids have fun. Bye.
DONNA: Bye, bye, now.
ERIC: Yeah.
DONNA: They're so darn cute. Minute you turn you back, they go at it like dogs.
ERIC: They're Frisky.
DONNA: You can't leave them alone.
ERIC: No. You know my sister thinks that we shouldn't be left alone.
DONNA: Us?
ERIC: Yeah.
DONNA: We're alone now.
ERIC: Yeah.
DONNA: Eric, relax. We've lived next door to each other forever. You could've had me when I was four.
ERIC: Really? And there I was all day long on the hippity hop. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

*exit Eric & Donna*

(Cutscene) [Rock 'n' roll instrumental music]

*Outside*

*Cue Eric*

ERIC: Ever since yesterday, I can't stop thinking about you. I mean, I've know you practically my whole life. I want you. I want you so bad.

*enter Donna*

DONNA: Eric, it's a car.

*enter Kelso*

KELSO: Let's just leave these two kids alone.

*enter Bob*

BOB: Say, hey there, Donna.
DONNA: Hey, Dad.
BOB: You kids. Standing around the driveway. It's so darn cute. You know, you many not realize it, but this is the most fun you're ever gonna have.
ERIC: So, it's all downhill from here, sir.
BOB: Yeah.

*exit Bob*

KELSO: What happened to your dad's hair?
DONNA: He got a permanent.
KELSO: So that's permanent?

End Scene 2

(cutscene baby baby baby)

Scene 3

*The Hub*

*Cue Jackie, Kelso, Eric, Donna at table, Hyde, Fez at Pinball machine*

FEZ: I may not say this right because I am new to English. But she has tremendous breasts, yes?
JACKIE: Michael, who is this guy?
KELSO: That's Fez. He's a foreign exchange student.
JACKIE: Who did we exchange for him? Donna, I have to go to the ladies' room. Donna?

*exit Jackie, Donna*

FEZ: I, too, must go to the bathroom. Eric?
ERIC: No, it doesn't work that way with guys.

*exit Fez*

HYDE: Kelso, how much longer are we gonna have to deal with the whole Jackie experience?
KELSO: Don't worry. I'm breaking up with her.
HYDE: Never gonna happen.
KELSO: It's over. She's cutting into my free time.

(cutscene with KELSO, ERIC, & HYDE singing "Hooked on a Feeling")

*Circle in clockwise order: Hyde, Fez, Eric, Kelso*

HYDE: So is Red still thinking about giving you the car maybe?

[grunts]

KELSO: Even if we do get it, we're gonna need some serious gas money 'cause the cruiser's a boat.
ERIC: I know it's a boat. This whole gas shortage bites.
FEZ: Who is getting a boat?
HYDE: There is no gas shortage, man. It's all fake. The oil companies control everything. Like, there's this guy who invented this car that runs on water, man. It's got a fiberglass air-cooled engine, and it runs on water.
FEZ: So it is a boat.
HYDE: No, it's a car. Only, you put water in the gas tank instead of gas. And it runs on water, man.
KELSO: I never heard of this car. Jackie's good for gas money.
ERIC: You are such a whore.
FEZ: When does the boat get here, whore?
RED (offscreen): Eric!
ERIC: Yeah, dad.
RED (offscreen): I need to talk to you.

*exit Hyde, Kelso, Fez*

*upstairs*

*Cue Eric, Red, Kitty*

*Eric is high*

RED: Eric, your mother and I have been talking. Since I've been cut to part-time at the plant, and the hospital is so close, I can take the Toyota to work, and your mom can take the bus.
KITTY: Honey. Honey, really, I'd rather walk. When I ride the bus in my nurse's uniform, people always show me their scars.
RED: Then I'll drop you off on my way to the plant.
KITTY: No, I don't wanna be any trouble.
RED: Then Eric can take you.
KITTY: He's a teenager. He doesn't wanna drop.
RED: If he can't drop his own mother off at work, them I'll be damned if he's getting a car!
KITTY: Okay.
ERIC: Excuse me. Am I getting the car?
RED: We didn't say that. Things don't just drop into your lap, Eric. Not in this life.
KITTY: A car is a responsibility.
RED: You'll need insurance. Do you have any idea how much insurance is?
KITTY: A car is a privilege.
RED: Oil changes, road flares, fluids, that's your job.
KITTY: A car is not a bedroom on wheels.
RED: Always yield. Always!
KITTY: Laurie's friend got pregnant in a car. Don't let that happen.
RED: If I find one beer can in that car, it's over.
KITTY: And no doughnuts, either. Ants.
ERIC: So, do I get the car?

*Red throws keys in slow-mo*

[Fast-paced instrumental music]

ERIC: Bitching!
RED: Eric, not in front of your mother.
ERIC: Thank you, Pop. Sir.
RED: Yeah, clean the attic.

*exit Red, Kitty*

[upbeat instrumental music]

End Scene 3

Scene 4

[lively instrumental music] 

*Outside*

*Cue Eric, Donna, Kelso*

DONNA: Kelso, that's sweet.
KELSO: Actually, I'm riding shotgun.
DONNA: No, you're not.
KELSO: I'm not riding in the back.
DONNA: Why don't we let Eric decide?
KELSO: Eric?
ERIC: Kelso. Get in the back.

*enter Red*

RED: Taking her for a spin?
ERIC: Yes, sir.
RED: Have a good time. One more thing. Very important. About the car. She's old, so no trips out of town. Ever. Understood? Have fun.

*exit Red*

ERIC: I guess that's that. We're not going.
DONNA: Eric, do you wanna go?
ERIC: He said no trips out of town.
DONNA: It's your car. Do you wanna go?
ERIC: But he's God.
KELSO: I think God would want us to go to Milwaukee.
DONNA: Eric, you are a 17-year-old man. I'm gonna go with whatever you say. It's your decision.
ERIC: It is my decision. And my decision is: We're going to a concert.
KELSO: Yeah!

[Engine starting]

*drives away*

*living room*

*Cue Kitty, Red*

KITTY: The kids are off. I wonder where they're going.
RED: Out of town.
KITTY: Are you sure?
RED: Of course. I told them not to.
KITTY: So I guess they'll be gone for a while.
RED: Yeah. Let's go.

*exit Red, Kitty*

*Gas station*

[Tense instrumental music]

*Cue Eric, Kelso, Hyde, Donna, Jackie, Fez, Randy*

KELSO: I'm telling you, we're out of gas.
ERIC: We're not out of gas.
RANDY: It's the battery. It's six years old and shot to hell.
JACKIE: I know what. I'll just call my dad.
ERIC: Kelso, tell her!
KELSO: He can't take the car out of town.
JACKIE: I'm not calling his dad.
HYDE: Jackie, parents talk to each other about how we screw up.
JACKIE: Why would they talk about that?
ERIC: They can't help it. Look, say there's a party, see. And all of our parents are there. Together.
HYDE (as Jack): Hi, Red. Say, isn't it great all our kids are such good friends?
KELSO (as Bob): Yes, Jackie's dad, they're quite the gang of young people.
DONNA (as Midge): Kitty, I love what you've done with the kitchen.
KELSO (as Kitty): Yes, aqua and yellow, blah, blah, blah, yak, yak, yak.
HYDE (as Jack): Speaking of kids, wasn't it lucky Triple-A pulled Eric's butt out of the fire when he took the car to Milwaukee without your permission?
ERIC (as Red): What? Why, that twisted little monkey! I'm grounding him for 10 years.
HYDE (as Jack): Kids. What are you gonna do?
ERIC (as Red): I say we torture them with plenty of pointless rules and advice.
DONNA (as Midge): Hey, everybody! Let's hustle!

[All singing]

*cuts to characters hustling*

JACKIE: Guys. We are in the middle of nowhere, and I have to go to the ladies' room. Donna?

*exit Jackie, Donna*

RANDY: So where you going?
HYDE: Rundgren concert.
RANDY: Cool. So what, you want a battery? Cause I can get you a battery. 
ERIC: Are they cheap? Or possibly free?
RANDY: $32, minimum.
KELSO: All right, I'll tell you what. We'll trade you our batter, plus $5 for one of your batteries.
RANDY: That's a really sweet deal,my friend, but how about this? How about one battery, for two concert tickets?
KELSO: We can't give up two tickets.
RANDY: Okay

*exit Randy*

ERIC: It's either that or none of us go.
KELSO: So who's out?
HYDE: There's always Jackie.
KELSO: Of course, Jackie. I mean, Jackie's gone. But who else?
ERIC: I don't know. Jackie's date?
KELSO: Come on! You know I'm breaking up with her. You guys are chumping me out. 
ERIC: I've had to listen to her for a good hour. 
FEZ: A really long hour.
KELSO: God hates me.

*exit Eric, Hyde*

FEZ: How can you say God hates you? At least you have a woman's love. Be happy, whore.

*exit Fez, Kelso*

(Cutscene with Fez)

*concert*

[Music playing loudly]

*Cue Hyde, Donna, Eric, Kelso, Fez, Randy*

FEZ: Guys. Randy's date is a man.
DONNA: I'm okay with it.
ERIC: We are so cool to be okay with it.
RANDY: I have to go to the bathroom. Kevin?

*exit Randy*

ERIC: I'll explain later.

*exit Fez, Eric, Donna, Hyde*

*outside*

*enter Jackie, Kelso*

JACKIE: This isn't working.
KELSO: No, it's a Boy Scout belt. The buckle's got a thing you.
JACKIE: No, Michael, before you speak, please hear my words. I think we should break up.
KELSO: Now?
JACKIE: You're not having a good time.
KELSO: I'm having a good time.
JACKIE: Really?
KELSO: Yeah
JACKIE: Michael, I am so glad you don't wanna break up. You were so nice to give your ticket away so you could be with me.
KELSO: Yeah.
JACKIE: That says, you don't need music, concerts, friends. You know what you need, Michael?
KELSO: I don't know.
JACKIE: Me, M-E, Michael.
KELSO: Yeah, I guess.
JACKIE: Yeah. You're just too shy to say that, lover.

*lower down*

JACKIE: So, when were you a Boy Scout?

*exit Jackie, Kelso*

(cutscene with Lava Lamps)

[Rock music playing]

*Outside Forman's house]

*Cue Eric, DONNA on car*

ERIC: What a great night. You know, it's amazing what one act of civil disobedience can do for you. I mean, there's a whole world that's waiting to be driven to. We could go to Canada. We got a new battery, what's stopping us?
DONNA: You know, I think Canada closes at 9:30.
ERIC: Yeah. You know, I never would have done this if you hadn't talked me into it.
DONNA: I didn't talk you into anything. I'm gonna call it a day. Good night.
ERIC: Night.
DONNA: By the way, thanks for the ride.

*Donna kisses Eric*

ERIC: What was that for?
DONNA: I just wanted to see what it was like.
ERIC: What was it like?
DONNA: You were there.
ERIC: Yeah, I wasn't ready for it.
DONNA: What would you have done differently?
ERIC: I don't know. Something with my lips?
DONNA: Sounds good. Let's try that next time.
ERIC: When exactly is next time?
DONNA: Good night.

*exit Donna*

ERIC: Yeah, I'm really gonna sleep after that.

*exit Eric*

End Scene 4

Credits Scene

*In car*

*Cue Eric, Donna, Hyde, Fez, Kelso, Jackie*

ALL [Singing]: It's important to me. That you know you are free. 'Cause I never want to make you change for me.
JACKIE: Boy, we're good.
FEZ: Yeah, really good.

End



Favorites
Team:  Green Monkeys :mrgreen:
Episode: Lawrence of Arabia's Headdress
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Seen all 120 episodes of Legends   :)
Yo Dawg, I heard how much you like the Green Monkeys.   :P  :mrgreen:
Perfect Polly=World's "Smartest" Invention :lol:
I <3 Shaka Zulu! :kiss: Drat That Zulu Drought!!!!! :P  :mrred:

Teams ranked
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Offline Purple Parrots Fan

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51335 on: August 24, 2014, 03:37:13 PM »
A little long, but yeah it's fine.

Offline Purple Parrots Fan

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51336 on: August 25, 2014, 02:14:09 AM »
In other news, Stone Marker is about to approach Post 31,000 soon. :mrred:

Offline Purple Parrots Fan

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51337 on: August 25, 2014, 02:14:36 AM »
And he already has, congrats! :mrred:

Offline The Red Jaguars

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51338 on: August 25, 2014, 02:17:08 AM »
I haven't even noticed. Man, does time fly by!  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:

*pushes Ron down the central shaft*  :mrred:

Offline AimYourBrent

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51339 on: August 25, 2014, 02:17:47 AM »
Congrats, Shaka Zulu!
Top 10 episodes:
1. Lucky Pillow of Annie Taylor
2. Lion Headed Bracelet of Chandragupta
3. Applewood Amulet of Emiliano Zapata
4. Milk Bucket of Freydis
5. Jewel Encrusted Egg of Catherine the Great
6. Much Heralded Helmet of Sir Gawain
7. Snakeskin Boots of Billy the Kid
8. John Sutter and the Map to the Lost Goldmine
9. Lawrence of Arabia's Headdress
10. Discarded Seal of Ivan the Terrible

Offline Purple Parrots Fan

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51340 on: August 25, 2014, 02:18:27 AM »
I haven't even noticed. Man, does time fly by!  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:

*pushes Ron down the central shaft*  :mrred:
Boy, aren't you glad I actually pointed it out for you? ;)

Offline The Red Jaguars

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51341 on: August 25, 2014, 02:25:45 AM »
Thank you Brent! For that, you get to take the glider to Puerto Rico with you!  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:  :mrred:

And thanks for reminding me too, Paintbrush!  :mrorange: I am now going to move your artifact to the Treasure Room to make it easier for Roberto and Katie. ;) :mrorange:

Offline Purple Parrots Fan

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51342 on: August 25, 2014, 02:29:57 AM »
But what about the Stone Marker? Doesn't that get moved to the Treasure Room too? ;) :mrred:

Congrats once again! :mrred:

Offline The Red Jaguars

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51343 on: August 25, 2014, 02:31:54 AM »
Oh no, you can keep the Treasure Room. I insist. I even moved the Golden Jaguar out of that room so you can have it to yourself. ;) :mrorange:

And you are close to 60,000 too! :mrpurple:

Offline Purple Parrots Fan

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Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« Reply #51344 on: August 25, 2014, 02:39:09 AM »
But I don't want the Treasure Room, you take it. It's so.... you. ;) :mrred:

And yes I am pretty close to Post 60,000. But I still got quite a bit more ways to go. :mrpurple: