Legends: Rebirth-The Battered Helmet of Henry the Second

[The Bandit King]

Episode 18: The Battered Helmet of Henry the Second

The camera winds and twists its way through a thick jungle of strange and exotic plants. After a few wrong turns, it finally stops in front of an ancient Mayan temple. At the base of the temple, a giant stone head sits. Suddenly, the head’s eyes light up and it begins to speak:

“Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth!” These words appear on the screen. “With your guide, Kirk Fogg! And here he is now!”

A middle-aged man wearing a denim shirt and blue jeans swings in on a rope. He drops down and runs up the Steps of Knowledge, microphone in hand.

“Thank you! Thank you, everybody! Nice to see everyone again! It’s good to see you again, Olmec! Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth. The rooms are filled with lost treasures protected by mysterious Mayan Temple Guards. Only Olmec knows the legends behind each of these newly discovered treasures in his temple…which one are we gonna hear about today, Olmec?”

“The legend of the Battered Helmet of Henry the Second,” Olmec replies.

“Oh, the Battered Helmet of Henry the Second,” Kirk repeats. “Well, the legend is set, and one of these teams will have a chance to retrieve the Battered Helmet—will it be:

“The Red Jaguars?” The camera zooms in on each team as they are introduced.
“The Blue Barracudas?
“The Green Monkeys?
“The Orange Iguanas?
“The Purple Parrots?
“Or the Silver Snakes?

“They’re gonna have to pass some tough physical and mental text—tests, but in the end, only one team will have the right to enter Olmec’s Temple. But first, they’ve gotta cross the Moat, and Olmec will tell us how they’ll have to do it today…”

Olmec begins to explain the Moat Crossing:
“Before you stands an ancient swinging bridge that has fallen on its side. When Kirk gives the signal, one player from each team will grab on to the railing of the bridge with one hand, and then take their partner’s hand with the other. Then, both players will carefully walk across the bridge, sideways, to the other side. If you fall, or if your feet touch the water, you must both go back and start again. Once you reach the other side, step off the bridge, help your partner down, and run over and hit the gong.” Kirk hits the Silver Snakes’ gong to demonstrate. “The first four teams to hit their gongs will go on to the next round!”

“All right, let’s get started,” Kirk says. “Hey teams, are you ready?”
All six teams scream and cheer in response.
“Olmec, are you ready?” Kirk asks.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Olmec replies.
“All right,” says Kirk. “On your mark, get set, GO!”

All six of the teams’ male members step onto the bridge, and their female teammates take their hands and follow behind. Slowly but surely, they all begin crossing. The Blue Barracudas take an early lead, closely followed by the Red Jaguars. “They gotta keep their balance on the bridge, and that’s not easy!” narrates Kirk. The Orange Iguanas are very slow in crossing, but the other teams are fairly even—except for the Blue Barracudas and Red Jaguars, who are about a foot ahead of everyone. The Blue Barracudas and Red Jaguars make it across well before the other teams, and they rush over to hit their gongs. “There’s two teams—we’ve got room for two more!” Soon after Kirk says this, the Green Monkeys’ boy’s foot slips off the bridge and touches the water, and the spotters tell him and his partner to go back. “It looks like they have to go back—they must’ve touched the water,” observes Kirk. Meanwhile, the Purple Parrots and Silver Snakes have stepped off the bridge, and they hit their gongs to end the Moat Crossing.

“That’s it! We’ve got our four teams right here!” Kirk shouts as he rushes over to stand beside the Silver Snakes. “Silver Snakes, slowly but surely, they made it across, and goin’ on to the Steps of Knowledge are the Silver Snakes…along with the Purple Parrots,” Kirk briefly pauses between each team’s name to allow applause. “And the Blue Barracudas, and the Red Jaguars! The Green Monkeys and the Orange Iguanas gave it a great try, too—we’ve got a great gift for ‘em, and here’s what it is!” They receive a $50 gift certificate from FYE.

[The Bandit King]

Kirk and the remaining four teams are now standing atop the Steps of Knowledge. “As the quest continues, it’s now time for Olmec to tell us about the Battered Helmet of Henry the Second. But teams, pay attention, because your knowledge of the legend can bring you a step closer to Olmec’s Temple…”

Olmec begins to tell the story:
“One of the most daring rulers in the history of France was King Henry the Second. A fearless warrior, he engaged in countless wars with the Huguenots of Austria, and killed or imprisoned hundreds of them. Revered and loved throughout France, Henry was also an avid sportsman, and enjoyed many kinds of sports, including jousting. Legend has it that while watching a jousting tournament in 1559, Henry became irritated.
“‘Those scoundrels—they couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. Fetch me my horse! I’m entering that tournament myself to show them how it’s done!’
“After donning his armor and lance, Henry climbed up on his horse. After he successfully defeated four of his best men, Henry became a bit smug.
“‘Suit up another one! I’m on a roll!’
“But soon, Henry noticed that the men were purposely falling off their horses, deliberately losing to the king. When he learned this, he became furious, and pulled Montgomery, the captain of his Scottish guard, aside.
“‘Montgomery, why aren’t my men putting up a fight?’
“‘Well, sire, you are forty years old. Most of your men are in their twenties, and, uh…’
“‘And what?’ asked Henry.
“‘Never mind. I’ll fight you next, sire.’
“Montgomery suited up, and prepared to joust with the king. However, as Montgomery was about to reach the king, his horse tripped, causing Montgomery to lift his sword slightly upward. The sword pierced the king’s helmet, knocking him off his horse and causing a fatal wound. The king died several days later, but his holed helmet ended up in the Temple. Your quest is to find the Battered Helmet of Henry the Second and bring it back here.”

“Thanks, Olmec,” Kirk says. “But tell us, where can we find the helmet?”

“The Battered Helmet of Henry the Second can be found in the SHRIIIINE of the Silver Monkey,” Olmec replies. The camera zooms in on the helmet, gaping hole and all, on the left-hand shelf in the room before fading back to Kirk.

“Oh, my goodness,” Kirk laughs. “Okay, teams, you’re now standing on the Steps of Knowledge. In a minute, Olmec’s gonna ask you a question. If you think you know the answer, I want you to stomp down on the ancient marking in front of you. If you’re right, you’ll move down to the next level, but if you’re wrong or you run out of time, I’m gonna give the other teams a chance to answer.” Kirk begins descending the Steps. “The first two teams to make it to the bottom level will be one step closer to Olmec’s Temple. Olmec…we’re ready for your first question.”

Olmec begins:
“Was Henry the Second king of: England, France, or—”
The Purple Parrots ring in. “France?”
“That is correct,” Olmec replies. The Purple Parrots descend one step.
“Purple Parrots step down,” narrates Kirk. “Next question, Olmec.”

“Henry the Second had many wars with the Huguenots. Were the Huguenots from: Switzerland, Austria, or the Netherlands?”
No one rings in. After a few seconds, a whistle is heard.
“Time’s up,” Olmec explains. “The correct answer was: Austria.”
“Okay, no one got that one,” Kirk narrates. “Next question, please.”

“What kind of sporting tournament did Henry enter: a tennis match—”
The Blue Barracudas ring in. “Uh…jousting?”
“That…is correct,” Olmec replies. The Blue Barracudas proceed to the next step.
“And the Blue Barracudas step down,” Kirk explains. “Next question, Olmec.”

“What did Henry notice about the tournament that was unusual: there were no horses—”
The Blue Barracudas ring in. “Uh…no one could…hit anything?”
“That is not one of our three choices,” Olmec replies. “The three choices are: there were no horses, everyone was losing on purpose to him, or no one was wearing armor?”
The Purple Parrots ring in. “Everyone was…losing on purpose.”
“That is correct,” Olmec replies. The Purple Parrots step down to the penultimate step.
“Now the Purple Parrots are just one step away,” Kirk narrates. “But remember, we need two teams. Olmec, continue, please.”

“How old was Henry the Second: thirty, forty, or fifty?”
After a few seconds, the Silver Snakes ring in. “Fifty?”
“Incorrect,” Olmec replies.
No one rings in, and finally the whistle is heard.
“Time is up,” Olmec explains. “The correct answer was forty years old.”
“Take it easy,” Kirk appeases. “Next question, please.”

“What was the name of the captain of the king’s guard: Montgomery, Birmingham, or Mobile?”
The Blue Barracudas ring in. “Montgomery?”
“That is correct,” Olmec replies. The Blue Barracudas join the Purple Parrots on the next-to-last step.
“Now the Blue Barracudas are just one step away,” Kirk narrates. “We’re still looking for two teams. Next question, Olmec.”

“What pierced the king’s helmet that caused him to fall off his horse: a sword—”
The Red Jaguars ring in. “A sword?”
“That is correct,” Olmec booms. The Red Jaguars step to the second level.
“Red Jaguars are on the board now,” Kirk narrates. “Next question.”

“What is the long sword used in jousting known as: a dagger, a lance, or a foil?”
The Blue Barracudas ring in. “Lance?”
“The name is Olmec, kid,” Olmec replies. “Just kidding—that’s correct.” The Blue Barracudas step to the bottom level.
“And the Blue Barracudas are goin’ to the Temple Games,” Kirk laughs. “So the big guy has a sense of humor—who knew? Next question.”

“Which of these is another weapon used by knights: a cutlass, a war club, or a mace?”
The Silver Snakes ring in. “Cutlass?”
“Incorrect,” Olmec replies.
No one rings in. Finally, a whistle sounds.
“Time is up,” Olmec explains. “The correct answer was: a mace.”
“Okay, let’s keep going,” Kirk says. “Next question.”

“Which of these men was another famous knight: Beowulf, Odysseus, or Lancelot?”
The Red Jaguars ring in. “Lancelot?”
“That is correct,” Olmec replies. The Red Jaguars step down to the penultimate step.
“Red Jaguars are now only one step away,” Kirk narrates. “Still plenty of time for the Silver Snakes. Let’s keep going—next question.”

“What legendary king did Lancelot serve under: Alfred, Arthur, or Artemis?”
The Purple Parrots ring in. “Arthur?”
“…That is correct!” Olmec booms after a pause. The Purple Parrots step to the bottom level.

“And we’ve got our two teams!” Kirk exclaims as he runs onscreen and stands between them. “They’re the Blue Barracudas, and the Purple Parrots! Red Jaguars, Silver Snakes, come on down here, guys. You guys were great, too—that was a tough round. We’ve got a great gift for you, and here’s what it is!” They receive a package of games for the Nintendo DS Lite, including Crosswords and Brain Age.

“These two teams will be playing for the right to enter Olmec’s Temple, and they’re gonna do it right after this!” Kirk explains.

The camera pans over Kirk’s head to show a view of the Moat, and then cuts to a plant-filled area beside Olmec. The camera zooms in on a pair of rubber iguanas in the foliage before the title appears onscreen, and we go to a commercial.

[The Bandit King]

We return from the break and find Kirk standing in front of the Temple with the two remaining teams.

“Welcome back to Legends: Rebirth,” he says. “Now, the glory goes to the fastest and the strongest. But before we get started, let’s meet our two teams…

“On the Blue Barracudas, we have Kylie—she says she enjoys swimming and surfing, and she also plays the piano, and her partner is Joey—his favorite subject is history, and he wants to be a scientist. Let’s hear it for the Blue Barracudas!” The audience gives a round of applause for the tall brown-eyed girl with wavy, dirty blonde hair and the equally tall brown-eyed boy with shiny black hair.

“And on the Purple Parrots, we have Nina—she likes to draw, and she wants to be a nurse when she gets older, and her partner is Bryan—his favorite subjects are science and social studies, and he wants to study law. How ‘bout a hand for the Purple Parrots!” The audience claps for the short blue-eyed girl with her long brownish-red hair in a ponytail and the tall, blue-eyed boy with short brown hair.

“Okay, are you guys ready?” Kirk asks the teams.

“Yeah!” they reply.

“All right, go get ready for the Temple Games. In these Temple Dames—Games, our two teams are competing for…” Kirk retrieves a Pendant of Life from his pouch and holds it up to the camera. “…Pendants of Life. The winning team is gonna need Pren—Pendants to protect themselves from the dreaded Temple Guards as they make their way through the Temple. There are three Temple Games—Olmec, tell us about the first one, will you, please?”

“Absolutely,” Olmec replies. The black lights under Olmec come on and he begins to explain the first Game:

“In Henry the Second’s time, knights would don horses and charge at one another during jousting tournaments. In this game, we will be testing your horseback riding skills. When Kirk gives the signal, hold on tight, because the horse you’re sitting on will start to gallop. If you fall off, your partner will receive a point. The player with the most points at the end of thirty seconds wins!”

“This may be the healthiest horse I’ve ever seen,” jokes Kirk as he pats the side of one of the saddle-donned sandbags. “Let’s set the clock for thirty seconds, please!” The clock slams down in the bottom corner of the screen, ready to go. “On your mark, get set, GO!”

Not even three seconds after the spotters start agitating the sandbags, both Kylie and Nina fall off, giving each team a point. This continues throughout the game—as soon as the girls get back on the sandbags and the spotters begin agitating them, they lose their balance and inevitably fall off. Nina manages to stay on the sandbag for a few more seconds than Kylie toward the end of the game, and pulls ahead by one point. Finally, the clock runs out.

“Okay, that’s it!” Kirk shouts as he appears onscreen again. “Come on down here, girls—don’t feel bad, it’s really tough to keep your balance in that game! Let’s check the scores here…” He glances back at the teams’ scoreboards. “It looks like…the Blue Barracudas fell off their horse six times, and…the Purple Parrots fell off their horse five times! The Blue Barracudas fell off more times, so the Purple Parrots get the half Pendant of Life!” The audience applauds. “The Blue Barracudas are behind for now, but they can still catch up in this next game. It’s also worth a half Pendant. Olmec, tell us about Temple Game #2…”

Olmec begins:
“A sword wasn’t the only thing a knight had to have in a jousting match—he needed a shield as well. Before you stand four cubes, each one with a different part of a shield’s insignia. When Kirk gives the signal, crawl out to the first cube, grab a piece of the insignia, come back and place it on your shield. Then crawl out to the next cube. Along the way, you must avoid the swinging obstacles—if you’re hit, you must go back and start again. The first player to get all four pieces of the insignia or…the player with the most pieces at the end of sixty seconds…wins.”

“Which one of our teams can complete the shield?” asks Kirk. “Let’s find out. Let’s set the clock for sixty seconds!” The clock slams down in the corner, ready to go. “On your mark, get set, GO!”

Joey and Bryan each crawl out to the first cube and retrieve the first part of the shield insignia. Bryan gets hit by the swinging sandbag as he crawls back, though, allowing Joey to place his first piece. Joey crawls back, but he gets hit as he tries to retrieve the second piece. Bryan successfully brings back his first part of the insignia with 45 seconds left. Bryan also successfully brings back the second part of the insignia with 33 seconds on the clock. It’s all downhill from there, unfortunately, as the players are either too slow or too tired to avoid the sandbags for the remainder of the game. Finally, time expires.

“Okay, that’s it!” Kirk shouts as he appears back onscreen. “They got battered in that game—come on over here, guys.” Kirk glances back at the shields as the boys appear next to him. “It looks like the Purple Parrots got two pieces of the shield, and…the Blue Barracudas got only one piece. That gives the Purple Parrots the half Pendant of Life!” The audience applauds briefly. “So now, the Purple Parrots are ahead, one Pendant to nothing, but now it’s time for the final Temple Game. It’s worth a full Pendant of Life. Olmec, tell us about Temple Game #3…”

Olmec begins to explain the final Temple Game:
“Before his fateful joust with Montgomery, Henry the Second successfully defeated four of his best men, and in this game, you are about to try to do the same. Before you stand four of Henry’s best men. When Kirk gives the signal, load your slingshot and knock down one of the men. Then your partner will load the slingshot. The first team to knock down all four men, or…the team that knocks down the most men in sixty seconds wins!”

“This is for the Temple,” Kirk remarks. “Let’s get sixty seconds on the clock, please!” The clock slams down in the corner, set for sixty seconds. “All right, ready, aim, FIRE!”

The Blue Barracudas knock down a target on their first try, but the Purple Parrots’ cannonball goes flying into the Temple somewhere. They manage to knock over a target on their second try, though, as do the Blue Barracudas. No one knocks over any more targets until about 15 seconds remain in the game, when the Purple Parrots knock over a second target and tie it up. The Blue Barracudas manage to overtake them by knocking over their third target with about seven seconds left on the clock. Finally, time runs out.

“Okay, that’s it!” Kirk shouts as he runs back onscreen. “Cannonballs everywhere in that game. Come on over here, everybody.” Kirk looks at the target range as the players gather around him. “It looks like the Blue Barracudas knocked down three targets, while the Purple Parrots just knocked down two. That means the Blue Barracudas get the full Pendant of Life. So the Purple Parrots have one Pendant, the Blue Barracudas also have one Pendant—we’ve got a tie! Bring in the tiebreaker pedestal!”

A spotter wheels in the tiebreaker pedestal, and both teams position themselves behind it. Kirk stands beside the pedestal.

“Okay, here are the rules,” he says. “In a minute, Olmec’s gonna ask you one final question. If you think you know the answer, hit the gong in front of you. You’ll have three seconds to answer, and I have to accept your first response. The first team to buzz in and answer the question correctly is going inside the Temple in search of the Battered Helmet of Henry the Second. All clear?” Both teams nod in response. “Okay,” Kirk says. “Olmec…what is the final question?”

Olmec begins to ask the final question of the day:
“What tribe did Henry the Second have many wars with: the Bourbons, the Huguenots, or the Tudors?”

The Purple Parrots ring in. “The…Two-doors?” Nina guesses.

“Incorrect,” Olmec replies.

“Okay, Blue Barracudas, do you guys have a guess?” asks Kirk as he holds the microphone up to them.

“The Hugo-knots?” Joey guesses.

A long pause is heard before Olmec says, “That is correct!”

“The Blue Barracudas are goin’ to the Temple!” Kirk exclaims as the Blue Barracudas high-five one another in excitement. “Purple Parrots, come over here, guys. You guys did great, too; it came down to that last question. We’ve got a great gift for you, too, and here’s what it is!” They receive a custom-made Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth watch.

As the prize disappears off-screen, Kirk is seen standing beside the winning team. “Now, we’ll see if the Blue Barracudas can make it through Olmec’s Temple; retrieve the Battered Helmet of Henry the Second—right after this!”

The camera pans in on the Temple and zooms in on the Battered Helmet as the title appears onscreen, and we fade to a commercial.

[The Bandit King]

We return from the break to see Kirk standing in front of the Temple with the winning team.

“Welcome back to Legends: Rebirth,” he says. “The Blue Barracudas have proven themselves worthy, and now have earned the right to enter Olmec’s Temple. But first, Olmec’s gonna give them some information to help them retrieve the Battered Helmet of Henry the Second…”

Olmec begins to explain the layout as the camera gives us a first-person tour of the Temple:
“You could start…by running up the stairs to the Crypt! Grab the book from the skeletons, and pass into the Bottomless Pit! Swing across the gap, and climb into the Lookout Tower. Focus the telescope to read the ancient print on the far wall, and a door may open into the Geographer’s Study. Find the missing pieces of the map and correctly place them, and pass into the Inventor’s Workshop. Turn the wheel to start the machine, and open the door to the SHRIIIIINE of the Silver Monkey! Assemble the statue and you may be headed toward the Room…of the Secret Password. Find the tablet with the correct inscription and shout it out to open the door to the Pharaoh’s Secret Passage. Slide down the tunnel to the Dungeon, where you could smash through the wall into the Dark Forest—but beware of the Temple Guards that may inhabit the trees! Find the key in the tree, and you’ll enter the Chamber…of the Four Elements. Place the elements in the proper order, and you’ll gain entry to the Owl’s Nest! Find the special white owl, and attach it to its proper nest, then…race through the Pit, climb through the Ledges, race down the stairs and back through the Temple Gate. The choices are yours and yours alone!” Olmec pauses. “You won 1 Pendant in the Temple Games. Who’s going first?”

“I am,” says Joey.

“Very well, Joey,” Olmec replies. “When Kirk gives the signal, you’ll race through the Gate into the Temple and make your way toward the Battered Helmet. Hidden inside the Temple are Temple Guards assigned to protect three specific rooms. You can trade your Pendant for an extra life and go on, but—if you’re caught without a Pendant, you’ll be taken out of the Temple, and it’ll be Kylie’s turn to enter and try her luck. If you can reach the Battered Helmet, all the doors of the Temple will instantly unlock, and the Temple Guards will vanish. Return through the Gate with the Battered Helmet of Henry the Second in three minutes, and you’ll both be handsomely rewarded—and here’s how!”

• Just for making it this far, they’ll get a bicycle from Mongoose.
• If they can grab the Battered Helmet within three minutes, they’ll also receive a laptop computer from Toshiba.
• And if they can bring the Battered Helmet out of the Temple before three minutes expires, they’ll win a trip to Jamaica.

“All right, let’s see if they can make it to Jamaica,” Kirk remarks. “Mouthpieces in, everybody ready…let’s set the clock for three minutes!” The clock slams down in the bottom corner of the screen, all ready to go.

“Olmec, lower your gate, if you please.” Olmec moans gutturally as the gate is lowered, and the black lights under him go out.

“All right—Joey, all set?” Kirk asks.

Joey nods as a response.

“Okay,” replies Kirk. “On your mark, get set, GO!”

Joey trots up the stairs into the Temple, Pendant around his wrist. He enters the Crypt, where he is immediately ambushed by the first TEMPLE GUARD (2:53). “Oh, a Temple Guard!” Kirk shouts as the Guard flails his arms, and Joey looks both surprised and confused. “Give him the Pendant!” Kirk shouts. Joey does so after a little difficulty, and the Temple Guard disappears behind the secret door in the room (2:47). After looking around the room for a few seconds, Joey starts to exit the Crypt back through the Temple Gate (2:41). “No, you have to keep going!” explains Kirk. “Go the other way!” Joey obeys Kirk, and heads back to the Crypt. He looks around, confused, before Kirk shouts out “You gotta pull the books!” Joey grabs the book from the hands of the nearest skeleton, opening the door to the Bottomless Pit (2:20). “There’s the right book!” Kirk narrates. “Now he’s headed over to the Bottomless Pit!” Joey notices the open door, and heads through it. He enters the Pit and, seeing the rope, grabs onto it and swings across the gap to the other ledge in the room. He looks back at Kirk before pushing the actuator for the door to the Lookout Tower, which doesn’t open (2:09). He turns back and prepares to jump off the ledge. “Try the other button!” Kirk suggests. Joey turns back toward the wall and presses the actuator for the Lookout Tower again, but nothing happens. He pushes the actuator to the Geographer’s Study, and this time, the door opens (1:57). He enters the room, where he is ambushed by the second TEMPLE GUARD (1:54).

“Oh, Temple Guard! Go, Kylie!” Kirk shouts. Kylie looks around for a few seconds before jogging up the stairs to the Crypt. She enters the open door to the Pit, following Joey’s path exactly. She finally makes it to the Geographer’s Study (1:40) and looks around for a few seconds. She begins pushing parts of the map at the back of the room, looking for an actuator. “She’s gotta find the missing parts of the map,” Kirk narrates. Kylie looks around, finally finding a piece of the map on the stage-right wall, and she sticks it on the map in a random spot (1:31). “No, you’ve gotta put it in the right spot!” explains Kirk. Kylie looks back at Kirk, then back at the map. She takes the piece of the eastern United States and looks at it for a second or two, then places it where it should be on the map (1:21). She finds another piece on the floor—the Yakutsk region of Russia—but can’t seem to find where it is on the map. “It’s gotta go somewhere on the map,” Kirk narrates. Kylie drops the map piece and backtracks into the Pit (1:09). She drops down, pushes the actuator for the door to the Owl’s Nest, and it opens (1:03). She enters the room, but the third TEMPLE GUARD jumps out from behind one of the nests, scaring Kylie and ending the run (0:59).

“Oh, that’s the third Temple Guard!” Kirk narrates. “She doesn’t have a Pendant, so it’s over! Those Temple Guards really didn’t want ‘em in there, and they didn’t have enough Pendants, either. That’s okay, though—they still get the bikes, and they still leave as winners in my book. We’ve gotta get outta here. We’ll see ya next time, though, and remember: it’s not just Legends, it’s Legends: Rebirth! Buh-bye!”

Kirk and Joey wave to the crowd as the credits begin to slowly roll. The camera shows various scenes of plant life around the set and a bubbling whirlpool at the edge of the Moat. Kylie emerges from the Temple, and Kirk comforts her and Joey as the credits finish rolling.

[The Bandit King]

The Battered Helmet of Henry the Second
Season 1, Layout 2
Artifact Location: The Shrine of the Silver Monkey
Team: Blue Barracudas (Kylie Jacobs & Joey Stanton)
Pendants: 1
Result: Caught by three Temple Guards (0:59 left)

How ironic that a gem like “The Feathered Crown of Nezahualcoyotl” is followed by this travesty. This is easily one of the worst Temple Runs I’ve ever seen. Like “The Keys to the Alhambra” and “The Golden Cricket Cage of Khan”, this run featured two idiots that clearly didn’t deserve to have gotten to the Temple. But unlike those two episodes, even this episode’s Steps of Knowledge and Temple Games were poorly thought out and, to be blunt, quite tedious.

Joey was by far one of the worst players I’ve ever seen. It looked like he walked up the stairs into the Temple, and was so caught off guard by the first Temple Guard he met in the Crypt, that he actually tried to exit the Temple! After Kirk let him know what an idiot he was, he eventually made it to the Geographer’s Study, where he was taken out with just under two minutes left.

Kylie was a little better than Joey, but that’s not saying much. In addition to her snail’s pace, she completely butchered the map in the Geographer’s Study. After giving up there, she backtracked to the Bottomless Pit, and found the open passage to the Owl’s Nest, where the Run was graciously ended by a third Temple Guard with just under a minute left on the clock.

Ironically, this team was probably the stronger of the two teams that they sent to the Temple Games. But if into every life a little rain must fall…then this episode was a cloudburst.

Rating: 1 out of 10

Notes and Trivia: This episode features the most questions that were missed in a particular Steps of Knowledge. In addition, that round features the most questions in which time expires (three).

Seriously, whose bright idea was it to have Olmec kid around at that “lance” question? I think it was horribly out-of-character…

Kylie and Joey passed through the least amount of rooms of any team in Rebirth’s history (four). They also completed only one room objective, another low for Rebirth.

Temple Diagram made by JTH1

[The Ancient Warrior]

There was a little mistake at the Steps.  Olmec said Henry was forty years old in the legend, but the answer to the question was apparently fifty.

Otherwise, I liked this.  It's about time one of the series had an Alhambra-type episode.

[The Bandit King]

There was a little mistake at the Steps.  Olmec said Henry was forty years old in the legend, but the answer to the question was apparently fifty.

Otherwise, I liked this.  It's about time one of the series had an Alhambra-type episode.
Fixed it.
Glad you liked it-I wasn't sure how my attempt at a "bad episode" would go over.