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Messages - Red Jaguars Fan

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31
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: September 13, 2014, 02:56:25 AM »
To make things worse, I'm feeling down while I'm at a party. So now I look like a rude person. Doesn't help that party is in my church's building. This place seriously makes me go crazy. I legit ran out of this place because this place is Hell for me.

32
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: September 13, 2014, 02:31:13 AM »
These mood swings suck. And the worst part is that no one fucking understands. Even my own family. And church. They all think it's so trivial. I wanna slap them sometimes. Prayer is not the ultimate solution for everything. This is why my mental illness got worse. Because "prayer fixes everything".

33
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: September 13, 2014, 02:13:30 AM »
I hate, hate, HATE depression so much! :evil:

34
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: September 04, 2014, 11:22:05 PM »
Joan Rivers died today. :(

35
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: September 04, 2014, 01:06:59 AM »
Anyone willing to fly me out of this fucking country? (If you're asking why I'm mad, it's because my family is full of shit as usual. I'm being accused of not being helpful even though I clearly helped them out. Like, if only they could see the amount of middle fingers I've given them for being so fucking unreasonable. Ugh!)

36
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: August 28, 2014, 08:38:32 PM »
http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/secretly_recorded_coming_out_video_that_is_every_lgbt_child_s_nightmare_goes_viral

Anyone seen this yet? This is why my parents are never gonna find out about me. Ever.

37
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: August 21, 2014, 06:09:55 PM »
Oh yeah, a rant.

Well, I suffered a panic attack two days ago. Because social anxiety went into overdrive. And ironically I was in the hospital when this happened because my family wanted to visit my dad who recently had surgery. But of course, my family thinks I'm a bastard. My social anxiety is the reason why I don't do hospital visits and other shit. I'm mean, I'm trying to improve myself. I did manage to watch two movies by myself (which is a big accomplishment for me), but I just couldn't do it in the hospital. Besides, my family is never gonna understand. If the fact that I can't do a simple call to someone to book an appointment while they're there doesn't light any bulbs in their head, then nothing will light any bulbs in their head.

I mean, they caused my social anxiety and depression to begin with. They let the maid nag at me and defended her. They scolded for not serving in front of everyone in the church. They let my aunt get away with her threats. Also, this family is racist and I can't believe I survived all their ridiculous ideologies. I mean, I can't even use the word "stupid" or "idiot" without my parents saying "You are not allowed to swear." How is that swearing? Also, I can't perform simple tasks in front of people. That should be a big red flag. I didn't even bother going back to school for the past two months thanks to all this.

And then there's me being gay. No, my family and church don't know yet, but after reading about how certain gay teens are being sent to camps to be "fixed", I'm gonna shut up about my sexuality and pretend I'm straight. I was literally such a homophobe because of my upbringing and because I hated myself and I wish to God I could take back every asshole thing I said in the past. I only started accepting myself last year and I really wish I could tell all my high school friends who'd accept me. Because I was fazed a lot with the homophobia from the people I call friends even though they never knew I was gay, all because I wanted acceptance. If I say anything to those homophobes, the hate will just start coming. It's like I'm losing everyone. It doesn't help that my closest friends, the people that I can actually talk to without fear, are either not mature enough to understand or completely cut off from the Internet. And it sucks living my life.

And I got a lot off my chest. But I know this looks really needy and shit so I'm gonna anticipate more judging because my mind keeps thinking that way. Terrific.

38
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: August 20, 2014, 06:47:22 PM »
Everyone's doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and that's great and all that everyone is spreading awareness of it, but... what's the point if you're not gonna donate? I mean, come on. Just doing the challenge isn't gonna help anything.

39
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: August 19, 2014, 04:53:39 PM »
So, should I go on a fucking rant? Or do I have to do this through PM?

40
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: August 19, 2014, 04:06:46 PM »
Anyone else suffers from social anxiety disorder and can relate to my f***ing pain? (And yes, I haven't posted in a while. I've been feeling very jaded lately)

41
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: August 12, 2014, 04:27:51 AM »
Robin Williams found dead :shock: Might've been suicide. R.I.P. Robin. You were one of my favorite actors. :cry:
WHAT?!?! :shock:

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2014/08/11/robin-williams-is-dead/13925199/
No celebrity death has ever made me want to cry...until now.  :cry:  :cry:  :cry:

RIP, Mr. Williams. You will live forever in our hearts.  :cry:
RIP, Robin Williams. :cry:

42
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: August 01, 2014, 11:49:34 PM »
EXTERMINATE--Dalek
Oh good, I'm not the only Doctor Who fan here, assuming you are one.

43
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: July 31, 2014, 11:56:06 PM »
Why are you still calling each other Paintbrush and Stone Marker?

44
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: July 30, 2014, 09:47:23 PM »
Iggy Azalea? Ugh. :roll:

45
The Jesters' Court / Re: The Main Spam Topic 2.0
« on: July 29, 2014, 07:02:38 PM »
So, I recently got into Orphan Black and I'm amazed at the show. No wonder people were crying foul when Tatiana Maslany didn't get nominated for an Emmy.

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