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Topics - The Bandit King

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1
The Dark Forest / Guess who's back?
« on: January 25, 2015, 07:33:19 PM »
Hey guys! I can't believe it's been almost a month since I logged in here, but I'm back now!  :D  :D  :D

Unfortunately, this has been a pretty tough month for me. Not long after the new year, I was laid off from my job due to cost-cutting, and I haven't had any luck whatsoever in finding a new job. As such, I decided to take a short break from this place (and a few other sites I'm a part of) for a while to search for employment. :(

But on a more positive note: I remain optimistic about finding a new job. I have been diligently calling several places where I've put in applications, and I've been told by some folks that finding a job is a lot easier if you have prior experience. :)

Anyhow, now that that's out of the way, it's great to be back here, and I hope I never have to leave again anytime soon!

2
The Dark Forest / My leave of absence: or, RIP "Mammaw" (1921-2014)
« on: October 05, 2014, 08:08:06 PM »
In case some of you were wondering where I've been for the past three weeks or so, allow me to share a story with you. A story of a beautiful person I had the privilege of knowing.

My grandmother Edith was born in May 1921. She had a troubled childhood, and was abandoned by her mother when she was about six. Her father raised her and her two brothers (she had a sister who died in infancy), and at the age of 17 she married a man five years her senior. Nevertheless, they were happy, and raised seven great children. One of those children was my mother. I was born in 1988, when my grandma was 67. It could be said I was her favorite grandchild, and she often told stories of how she and my grandpa would babysit me and my sister when I was really young.

My grandmother was blessed with good health for most of her life, and you could usually find her outside working in the garden or tending to her chickens or dogs, well into her 80's. My grandfather died in 2005 at the age of 88, and my grandmother was left on her own. She began developing heart problems and suffered some heart palpitations in around 2008, but recovered. The doctor said she had the heart strength of someone thirty years younger than her. After another spell, she was forced to move in with my aunt, who cared for her, and everything was fine for a while.

But about three weeks ago, my grandma suffered a massive heart attack. The doctors were forced to put a pacemaker in her to save her life, but she was left bedridden. Numerous members of the family (me included) took turns watching over her. She grew progressively worse, and started slurring her speech--the doctors said she was having mini-strokes, because her heart was too weak to pump blood to her brain. She fell into a coma around the beginning of this month, and her last word anybody could understand was "peace". At about 10PM Eastern time yesterday, she passed away, surrounded by her family.

Goodbye, Mamaw. Enjoy your mansion...  :cry:  :cry:  :cry:

3
Soundstage 18 / Where In Time Is Carmen Sandiego?: Episode 2
« on: October 10, 2013, 08:56:37 PM »
WHERE IN TIME IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?: Season 1, Episode 2

As the camera fades in from black, we see a picture of a rotating globe with a red outline around it.  The two halves of a red letter ‘V’ come together in the middle of the globe, before the logo sparks with electricity and shatters into pieces.  We now see a large chair behind a computer in a dark room, where a woman in a red trench coat and fedora sits.
“Curses!” she exclaims.  “Those stupid ACME Time Pilots are always on my tail!  It seems like everywhere I go, they’re always one second ahead of me!”
With this, the woman turns around in her chair, revealing all of her face except her eyes to the viewers.  “Hmm…that gives me an idea.  Soon, the history of telling time will be altered forever, and I’ll be free to reign supreme all throughout history!  Paging Dr. Belljar!”
Just then, a green hologram from in front of Carmen fades away, and a man in a white lab coat with numerous robotic parts all over his body materializes before her.
“Dr. Belljar, ready t-t-to assist you, Carmen,” Belljar stammers.
“I’m sending you through the time portal to ancient Egypt in the year 1500 BC,” Carmen instructs.  “There’s something very special I want you to steal.”
“Good…thievery happens to be my favorite thing!  Aside from a good t-t-t-tune-up,” the doctor replies.
“Good,” says Carmen.  “Bring it back to me in this Cybersphere when you have it.  Now get going!”
Carmen presses three buttons on her computer, and we then see Dr. Belljar inside the time portal, where he disappears a few seconds later.

The camera now cuts to the inside of an office with a map in the background.  An African-American lady sits behind a desk as she turns to the camera, an intense look on her face.
“Time Pilots, Dr. Belljar just stole something from the past.  You’ve got…28 minutes to get it back, or history will change forever!  Initiate Chronoskimmer launch sequence!  Boot up the ChronoComputer!”
The camera cuts to a group of men and women in a small room, surrounded by futuristic-looking equipment.  A woman seated at a large computer flips a switch, and lights light up all over the room.
“Power up the engines!”
Two men turn a large wheel, generating what looks like steam in the room.
“Now get going!”

The intro music plays, where we see a montage of clips from throughout the first season.  The title then appears onscreen, and the Chief’s voice is heard after it disappears.  “And here’s the Time Pilot Squadron Leader, Kevin Shinick!”
We see a shot of Kevin staring hypnotically at a lava lamp in his room.
“Kevin?  KEVIN!!”
Kevin is snapped out of his daze and jumps up.  “Alright, Chief, alright!” he mutters as he darts out of his room and soon enters the playing area through a round door to the viewers’ right.

“Hey, welcome aboard!” he says to the viewers.  “I want you to hang on tight, because we’ve got a very big mission, but very little time!  So let’s get started by meeting today’s Time Pilots!
Starting with: William Silverstein!” A tall boy with bushy brown hair steps through a door at stage-left and high-fives Kevin.  “Hey, William, how ya’ doin’, buddy?
“And Lena Holman!”  A short girl with long brown hair and brown eyes enters and high-fives Kevin.  “Lena, nice to have you on the mission!
“And James Foster!”  A tall boy with short black hair and glasses enters the set and high-fives Kevin.  “James, nice to see you!"

The Time Pilots all take their place behind their podium, and Kevin begins.  “Alright, Pilots, we depend on Fact Fuel to power our time machine, the Chronoskimmer, and you guys will be generating that Fuel with your answers.  To start off, we’ll equip each of you with 50 Power Points.”  The scoreboard on each Pilot’s podium lights up with a big numeral ‘50’.
“Let’s check in with the Engine Crew, shall we?”  Kevin presses a button on the computer, and we see the Engine Crew, who do ‘the wave’ before pointing to the camera and smiling.  Kevin presses the button again, and the view of the Engine Crew disappears.
“Couldn’t do a thing without ‘em.  Alright, now let’s begin our pursuit of Dr. Belljar.  Chief, what’s our mission profile?”

The camera cuts to the Chief in her office.  She is standing in front of a map of the world.
“Squadron, your time target is around 1500 BC.  Destination: Egypt.”
The Chief now walks to her desk and sits down, continuing to speak.  “During that time, people’s methods of telling time were very primitive, at best.  The only way that they could figure out how early or late it was, was by looking at the sun in the sky.”
The chief pulls out a small rectangular object and inserts it into a slot on her desk.  A few seconds later, a picture of a tall, prism-like structure pops up.
“The ancient Egyptians had been using tall structures called obelisks to tell time for about 2,000 years, measuring the length of their shadows on the ground to figure out how much daylight was left.  Then, someone had the bright idea of making smaller versions of these tall time-trackers.  Just like the tall obelisks, they would use raised rods to cast a shadow on a flat surface—only this time, they placed the rod on a circle.  By measuring how the shadow rotated around the circle, people could reliably measure the hours of daylight for the first time.”
The Chief’s look now turns to one of disdain.  “Or so history told us till now.  When Dr. Belljar went back in time and swiped the timepieces!”

“Thanks, Chief,” says Kevin after the camera cuts back to him.  “Alright, Time Pilots, for 10 Power Points, what did Dr. Belljar steal?  Was it: the first hourglasses, the first wristwatches, or the first sundials?  Remembering the clues we just heard: invented in ancient Egypt in 1500 BC, derived from tall buildings called obelisks, and used raised rods which cast shadows to tell time.  Lock in your answers as soon as you can, there.”
All three Time Pilots lock in their answers within a few seconds of one another.
“Alright, William, what did you say?”
“I said the first sundials.”
“And Lena, what did you say?”
“The first sundial.”
“And James, how about you?”
“The first sundial…”
“Well, the correct answer is the first sundials!  Ten points for everybody!  Yep, sundials were one of the very first reliable methods of telling time known to history.  They could be built in any size, and were among the first portable timepieces.  And now that we know what Dr. Belljar stole, we wanna get it back, right?  And if one of you guys can restore the loot and capture Carmen Sandiego, you’ll win a new Toshiba laptop computer, and a $250 savings bond!  So what are we waiting for?  Engine Crew!”  Kevin presses a button on the computer.  “Let’s warp to the time of the crime!”

The camera cuts to a shot of the Chronoskimmer flying through space-time, and soon, the computer displays the year “700 BC” on the screen.
“Well, Pilots, we’ve successfully landed in 1500 BC.  So far, things look like—”
Suddenly, an alarm blares, and a red gauge near the exit door blinks bright red.
“What—uh-oh.  That warp severely drained our Fact Fuel.  We need to refuel with a Data Boost!”  These words appear on the screen.

“Alright, Time Pilots, I’ll give you the name of a famous person.  Your job is to buzz in and tell me whether that person is a real person, or a fictional character.  If you’re right, you get five Power Points; if you’re wrong, you lose five.  Remember: real person, or fictional character.  Alright?  Here we go: Socrates.”
Lena rings in.  “Real person?”
“Yes, real person!  The ancient Greek philosopher was born in 469 BC.  Sherlock Holmes.”
William rings in.  “Fictional?”
“Yes, fictional is correct!  The famed detective was created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in 1887.  How about: Blackbeard?”
William rings in again.  “Real?”
“Yes, he was real.  How about: Robert E. Lee?”
James rings in.  “Real person?”
“Yes, real person!  Noted Confederate general in the Civil War.  Finally: Tarzan.”
Lena rings in.  “Fictional character.”
“Yes, fictional character.  Very nice job, guys—you’ve replenished our Fact Fuel.  And now, we’re ready for time travel again!  Now, our next clue comes from—”

Suddenly, a faint beeping can be heard.
“Wait a minute…hey, our probes are picking up some activity!  It’s Dr. Belljar reporting back to Carmen!  Let’s listen in!  Watch the screen…”
Kevin presses a button on the computer, and soon, Dr. Belljar appears on the monitor.
“C-C-Carmen, these sundials are so bulky and primitive!  Next time, I’d much prefer to steal something much more tec-technologically sound!  I’ve stashed the sundials in a Scandinavian country during the reign of King Louis XIV of France.  Around this time, gear clocks are considered unreliable, and d-d-don’t keep very good time.  Then, astronomer Christian Huygens gets the idea to fasten a pendulum to the clocks g-g-gears.  As it swings back and forth, the gears turn much more smoothly, and the clock keeps much better time.  The science of pendulums has been known for decades: Galileo had even come up with a prototype for a clock that ran on a pendulum about nineteen years ago, but this is the first t-t-t-time one has been successfully built.  Pendulum clocks will be the most accurate form of telling time until the 1930s!  Hmm…perhaps I should switch from digital time to pendulum power.  Perhaps then I wouldn’t be so g-g-g-glitchy!  Ha-ha!”  With that, Dr. Belljar disappears from the screen.

Kevin presses a button on the computer as he turns back to the Time Pilots.  “I think he needs a tune-up or something, what do you guys think?  Alright, Time Pilots, you heard the clues—tell me the country and year where Dr. Belljar took the sundials.  Is it: England, 1450, Norway, 1557, or Denmark, 1656?  Remember the clues: Christian Huygens first invents the pendulum clock, Galileo publishes work on pendulums several decades before, and during the reign of France’s King Louis XIV.  Lock in your answers as soon as you can there…alright, William, what did you say?”
“I said Norway, 1557.”
“And Lena, what did you say?”
“I said Denmark in, um…1656.”
“Alright, and James?”
“Denmark, 1656.”
“Well, the correct answer is Denmark, 1656!  Ten points for Lena and James.  You know, Pilots, since sundials were useless on cloudy days, we built clocks with gears to tell us time anywhere we went.  And by attaching a swinging pendulum to the gears, telling time became even more accurate.  But that may never happen if we don’t get those sundials back!  Bridge to Engine Crew!”  Kevin presses a button on the computer.  “Let’s warp to 1656!”

The Engine Crew begins firing up the engine, and the camera cuts to a shot of the Chronoskimmer flying through time-space.  Soon, though, several blasts of electricity hit the Chronoskimmer, and the camera shows Dr. Belljar producing the lightning out of his fingers.  He smiles as he looks at the camera.  “Catch me if you c-c-can, Time Pilots!” he stammers before disappearing.

As the camera cuts back to the game stage, a loud alarm is blaring, and a red light flashing “danger” is seen on the wall next to Kevin as he lurches and staggers around like the Chronoskimmer is veering out of control.
“Time Pilots, we made it to our destination, but Dr. Belljar just did something to the Chronoskimmer!!  It’s time for another Data Boost!!”  The words appear on the screen as the alarm stops, and things calm down on the set.

“Alright, Pilots, I’ll give you a fact about time or clocks.  Your job: buzz in and tell me whether that statement is true or false.  If you’re right, you’ll get five Power Points; if you’re wrong, you lose five.  Remember, true or false.  Here we go: the first non-sundial clocks were powered by water.”
James rings in.  “False?”
“No, believe it or not, it’s true!  Water clocks were first used around 4000 BC in China, and they told time by measuring how much water dripped from one container to another…  The first cuckoo clocks used real cuckoos.”
Lena rings in.  “False?”
“Yes, I would hope that’s false.  Nice job.  How about: Great Britain had a tax placed on clocks in 1797.”
William rings in.  “True?”
“Correct, it is true!  Clocks were considered luxuries at that time, and some clockmakers went out of business because people stopped buying clocks…interesting, huh?  How about: there are about ten million seconds in a calendar year.”
William rings in.  “True?”
“No, sorry, that’s false.  There are about 31 and a half million seconds in a year—lot more than ten million.  Finally: all the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are set to 4:20.”
After a few seconds, Lena rings in.  “True?”
“Correct, it is true…although we’re not really sure why.  Nice job, guys—you’ve reenergized our Chronoskimmer, and we’re ready to go again!”

4
Soundstage 18 / Where In Time Is Carmen Sandiego?: Episode 1
« on: October 01, 2013, 09:18:17 PM »
WHERE IN TIME IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?: Season 1, Episode 1

As the camera fades in from black, we see a picture of a rotating globe with a red outline around it.  The two halves of a red letter ‘V’ come together in the middle of the globe, before the logo sparks with electricity and shatters into pieces.  We now see a large chair behind a computer in a dark room, where a woman in a red trench coat and fedora sits.
“Geez…” she says.  “Those ACME Time Pilots are always so cheerful—and it makes me sick!  Maybe if I deprive them of a major form of recreation…”
With this, the woman turns around in her chair, revealing all of her face except her eyes to the viewers.  “I’ve got it!  Soon, the history of sports will be changed forever—thanks to me!  I summon Sir Vile!”
Just then, a green hologram from in front of Carmen fades away, and a knight in a rusty black suit of armor materializes before her.
“I await thy bidding, my lady,” Sir Vile says.
“I’m sending you through the time portal to ancient Greece in the year 700 BC,” Carmen instructs.  “There’s something very special I want you to steal.”
“Hahaha…so my lady commands it, so it shall be done!” the dark knight replies.
“Good,” says Carmen.  “Bring it back to me in this Cybersphere when you have it.  Now get going!”
Carmen presses three buttons on her computer, and we then see Sir Vile inside the time portal, where he disappears a few seconds later.

The camera now cuts to the inside of an office with a map in the background.  An African-American lady sits behind a desk as she turns to the camera, an intense look on her face.
“Time Pilots, Sir Vile just stole something from the past.  You’ve got…28 minutes to get it back, or history will change forever!  Initiate Chronoskimmer launch sequence!  Boot up the ChronoComputer!”
The camera cuts to a group of men and women in a small room, surrounded by futuristic-looking equipment.  A woman seated at a large computer flips a switch, and lights light up all over the room.
“Power up the engines!”
Two men turn a large wheel, generating what looks like steam in the room.
“Launch the Time Probes!”
One of the men stuffs a small probe into a slot in the wall, and a shot of the probes floating outside the Chronoskimmer is seen next.
“Now get going!”

The intro music plays, where we see a montage of clips from throughout the first season.  The title then appears onscreen, and the Chief’s voice is heard after it disappears.  “And here’s the Time Pilot Squadron Leader, Kevin Shinick!”
We see a shot of Kevin playing video games in his room on the ship.
“Kevin?  KEVIN!!”
Kevin drops his controller in surprise.  “Alright, I’m coming!” he says as he darts out of his room and soon enters the playing area through a round door to the viewers’ right.

“Hey, welcome aboard, everybody!” he says to the viewers.  “I want you to hang on tight, because we’ve got a very big mission, but very little time!  So let’s get started by meeting today’s Time Pilots!
Starting with: Sheryl Curtrois!” An African-American girl steps through a door at stage-left and high-fives Kevin.  “Hey, Sheryl, nice to have you here!
“And Richard Davis!”  A short boy with black hair enters the set and high-fives Kevin.  “Richard, how are you, buddy?
“And Adam Haggerty!”  A tall boy with sandy brown hair and freckles runs up and high-fives Kevin.  “Adam, nice to see you!"

The Time Pilots all take their place behind their podium, and Kevin begins.  “Alright, Pilots, you should know that we depend on Fact Fuel to power our time machine, the Chronoskimmer, and you guys will be generating that Fuel with your answers.  To start off, we’ll equip each of you with 50 Power Points.”  The scoreboard on each Pilot’s podium lights up with a big numeral ‘50’.
“Let’s check in with the Engine Crew really quick.”  Kevin presses a button on the computer, and we see the Engine Crew playing cards in the engine room.  They happen to look up at the camera, and all three quickly scramble to their feet and act busy.  Kevin smiles, shakes his head and presses the button again, and the view of the Engine Crew disappears.
“We’re equal-opportunity employers around here.  Alright, now let’s begin our pursuit of Sir Vile.  Chief, what’s our mission profile?”

The camera cuts to the Chief in her office.  She is standing in front of a map of the world.
“Squadron, your time target is 700 BC.  Destination: Ancient Greece.”
The Chief now walks to her desk and sits down, continuing to speak.  “At that time, some of the more popular sporting events around public areas in Greece were contests between two men in a sport called ‘pygmachia’.”
The chief pulls out a small rectangular object and inserts it into a slot on her desk.  A few seconds later, a drawing of two men fighting comes up.
“Considered an early form of the Roman gladiator fights that would later become popular in Rome, pygmachia was a public contest that some say originated with the Spartans.  Two men would compete, each one wearing protective gloves on their hands and wrappings on their elbows.  The fighters took turns landing blows to one another’s heads and bodies, and the fight could only end when one man was too hurt to continue.  The sport was very brutal—often, people were seriously hurt in the fights, and some even died.  Still, the sport of pygmachia was a very popular form of entertainment among the public in ancient Greece, and was even part of the very first Olympic Games.”
The Chief’s look now turns to one of disdain.  “Or so history told us till now.  When Sir Vile traveled back in time and swiped the sport!”

“Alright, thanks, Chief,” says Kevin after the camera cuts back to him.  “Alright, Time Pilots, for 10 Power Points, what sport did Sir Vile steal?  Was it: wrestling, boxing, or mixed martial arts?  Remember the clues we just heard: invented around 700 BC in ancient Greece, public contests in which the fighters wore gloves, and also known as ‘pygmachia’.  Lock in as soon as you can, there.”
All three Time Pilots lock in their answers within a few seconds of one another.
“Alright, Sheryl, what did you say?”
“I said boxing.”
“And Richard, what did you say?”
“I also said boxing.”
“And Adam, how about you?”
“Boxing.”
“Well, guys, the correct answer is boxing!  10 points for everybody—nice job!”  Kevin now turns to the camera.  “Yes, boxing is one of the world’s oldest sports.  There are even ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs that depict what look like boxing fights, and the sport is even mentioned in Homer’s Iliad.  And now that we know what Sir Vile stole, we obviously wanna get it back.  And if one of you guys can restore that loot to its proper place in history and capture Carmen Sandiego, you’ll win a fully stocked Toshiba laptop computer, plus a $250 savings bond!  Not bad, huh?  Alright, there’s no time to lose.  Bridge to Engine Crew!”  Kevin presses a button on the computer, bringing up the Engine room on the screen.  “Let’s warp to the time of the crime!”

The camera cuts to a shot of the Chronoskimmer flying through space-time, and soon, the computer displays the year “700 BC” on the screen.
“Alright,” says Kevin.  “We’ve successfully warped back to Ancient Greece in the year 700 BC.  So far, so goo—”
Suddenly, an alarm blares, and a red gauge near the exit door blinks bright red.
“Wait, what—oh no.  That warp severely drained our Fact Fuel.  We need to refuel with a Data Boost!” These words appear on the screen.

“Alright, Time Pilots, I’ll give you an item.  Your job is to buzz in and tell me if it was invented before 700 BC, or after 700 BC.  If you buzz in and answer correctly, you earn five Power Points; if you’re wrong, you lose five.  Remember, before or after 700 BC.  Here we go: the toothbrush.”
Sheryl buzzes in.  “After.”
“No, believe it or not, it’s before!” Kevin says.  “The first toothbrush was introduced around 1600 BC.  Magnetic compass.”
Adam rings in.  “After?”
“Correct; the magnetic compass was introduced around 206 BC.  Wheels.”
Sheryl rings in.  “Before?”
“Correct, it is before!  The wheel was invented around 3500 BC.  The thermometer.”
Adam rings in.  “After?”
“Correct, it is after!  The thermometer was invented in 1714 by Gabriel Fahrenheit.  Finally, the parachute.”
Adam rings in again.  “After?”
“Yes, it is!  The parachute wasn’t invented until 1783.  Very nicely done, guys—you’ve replenished our Fact Fuel!  And now, we’re ready for time travel!  So, let’s now go to—”

Just then, a blaring alarm is heard.
“Wait a minute…hey, guys, that’s the Cluefinder!” Kevin says as he heads toward the computer.  “It’s locked onto somebody from the future!  Let’s bring ‘em on board and see if they can help us.”
Kevin presses a button on the computer, and the double doors behind him open up, letting in a copious amount of smoke, as well as a man in an 18th-century shirt and slacks carrying a rather sizable stack of paper in his hands.
“Let’s see, three rounds…thirty seconds between rounds…cold water on any bleeding wound…”
“Um, excuse me,” Kevin says, tapping the man on his shoulder.  “What exactly are you doing?”
“Hm?” the man says as he turns around.  “Oh, I’m just trying to memorize these rules.
“Oh, I see,” Kevin replies.  “A-are you a boxer or something?”
The man tries and fails to stifle a laugh.  “Heavens, no!  Those animals would tear me apart!  I own the amphitheatre where the bouts are contested.”
“Ah, I got it,” Kevin says.  “So…these rules were just introduced or something?”
“Yes,” the man replies before turning to the Time Pilots.  “Earlier this year, former champion Jack Broughton thought the sport had become too brutal.  We’ve had many injuries in boxing matches, and some men have even died in the ring.  So, Broughton introduced these rules to help make boxing safer for the fighters.  According to the rules, if a man goes down and can’t get up after 30 seconds, then the fight is over.  Fighters also can’t hit their opponent below their belt, and if they strike a downed man, they’ll be disqualified.  There are at least 50 rules like this that every boxer and boxing promoter must learn.”
“Ah, so this is basically a way to help keep the boxers safe, then?” Kevin asks.
The man nods.  “Hmm.  And now that the Great Famine in Ireland is over, boxing is starting to become popular all over the Isles.”
“Wow, that’s great,” Kevin replies.  “So, uh…this place you run, is it only boxing fights?”
“Oh, no,” the man says.  “Amphitheatres like the one I own stage many different contests: boxing, wrestling, plays—there’s even a new concept that I’m working on…”
“Oh, what is it?” Kevin asks, perking up.
“Well, first, we fill the entire arena with mud,” the man begins.  “Then, we bring in a bunch of old vehicles.  And then…no, no, forget it.  Who’d want to watch a ‘demolition derby’ anyway?”  The man despondently walks back through the opening double-doors, letting a little smoke back into the room.

Kevin turns to the Time Pilots and shrugs.  “Too bad; I thought he had something good going there.  Alright, Time Pilots, where in time is Sir Vile?  Tell me the country and year.  Is it: France, 1710; England, 1743; or The U.S.A., 1778?  Remember the clues we just heard: former boxer Jack Broughton comes up with new set of rules for boxing matches, bare-knuckle fighting, and Great Famine in neighboring Ireland had just ended.  Lock in with your answers as soon as you can there—alright, nice job.  Sheryl, what did you say?”
“England in 1743.”
“And how about you, Richard?”
“I also said in—England, 1743.”
“And Adam?”
“England, 1743.”
“Well guys, the correct answer is England in 1743!  Ten points for everyone—nice job, you guys.  You know, after Jack Broughton introduced his rules, they were quickly adopted almost unanimously by boxers and promoters alike, and no doubt saved countless lives.  But, we may be watching competitive knitting if we fail our mission today, so let’s get going!  Engine Crew!”  Kevin presses a button on the computer.  “Let’s warp to 1743!”

The Engine Crew begins firing up the engine, and the camera cuts to a shot of the Chronoskimmer flying through time-space.  Soon, though, a blast of fire hits the Chronoskimmer from the left side, and the camera shows Sir Vile blowing the flames out of his helmet.  He lifts his visor up and looks at the camera.  “Thy mechanical beast is no match for me!” he roars before disappearing.

As the camera cuts back to the game stage, a loud alarm is blaring, and a red light flashing “danger” is seen on the wall next to Kevin as he lurches and staggers around like the Chronoskimmer is veering out of control.
“Pilots, we made it to our destination, but Sir Vile just fried the Chronoskimmer!!  It’s time for another Data Boost!!”  The words appear on the screen as the alarm stops, and things calm down on the set.

“Phew…alright, Time Pilots, I’ll give you the names of two famous people.  Your job: buzz in and tell me if they were born in the same year, or fifty years apart.  If you’re right, you get five power points; if you’re wrong, you lose five.  Remember, same year or fifty years apart.  Here we go: Abraham Lincoln and Billy the Kid.
Sheryl rings in.  “Same year?”
“No, believe or not, it’s 50 years apart.  Lincoln was born in 1809, Billy the Kid in 1859.  How about: Helen Keller and General Douglas MacArthur?”
Sheryl rings in again.  “Same year?”
“Correct, same year!  They were both born in 1880.  Author Isaac Asimov and Pope John Paul II.”
Richard rings in.  “Same year?”
“Yes, same year.  Both were born in 1920.  How about: Thomas Jefferson and Texas hero Sam Houston?”
Adam rings in.  “50 years apart?”
“Correct, 50 years apart!  Jefferson was born in 1743, Houston in 1793.  Finally, Diana Ross and Justin Bieber.”
Richard rings in.  “50 years apart.”
“Correct, 50 years apart!  Diana was born in 1944, Bieber in 1994.  Who knew?  Great work, guys—you’ve reenergized the Chronoskimmer, and now we’re ready for time travel again.”

5
Soundstage 18 / Where In Time Is Carmen Sandiego?: The New Chapters
« on: September 24, 2013, 09:22:23 PM »
This is what I’ve been working on as a break from Legends: Rebirth for the past few months: my tribute to another of my favorite game shows as a kid.

Quote
September 22, 2013
PBS Revives Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego

As part of its attempt to reach out to older children, PBS has decided to revive ‘90s children’s game show Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego… Actor Kevin Shinick returning to host the show.  The role of the “Chief”, originally portrayed by the late Lynne Thigpen, will be played by veteran actress S. Epatha Merkerson…

Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego?: The New Chapters

Starring
Kevin Shinick as Himself
S. Epatha Merkerson as The Chief

Format
The show works just like the original: three ‘Time Pilots’ (kids from ages 10 to 15) compete to stop Carmen Sandiego and her evil henchmen from swiping precious pieces of history.

Round 1
The Chief gives a brief rundown to the contestants on what was stolen and where and when in history it was stolen from.  The Time Pilots are given 50 Power Points to begin the game.  Answering a question correctly earns them ten more Power Points.  Throughout the round, various “informants” provide clues as to the crook of the day’s whereabouts in history.  At the end of each clue (three in all), another ten-point question is asked.  At two points during the game, there is a question portion called a DATA BOOST.  During a Data Boost, Kevin reads a subject, followed by 2-3 possible answers.  If a contestant answers correctly, they gain five Power Points; if they’re wrong, they lose five.  There’s also a GLOBAL PURSUIT round, played similar to “The Chase” from Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?.  Correct answers are still worth five Power Points.  The last portion of the first round is an ULTIMATE DATA BOOST.  It is played just like a regular Data Boost, except that right answers earn ten Power Points and wrong answers cost a player ten.  The two players with the most points at the end of Round 1 advance to the next round.  If there is a tie, a tiebreaker question is asked.

Round 2
In this round, the two remaining Time Pilots must list nine events pertaining to the day’s topic in reverse chronological order, starting from the most recent event and ending with the least recent event.  As long as the player in control continues to give right answers, they may keep playing.  If they give a wrong answer or take too long, control passes to the other player.  The first player to successfully list the events in the correct order wins and goes on to the Trail of Time.

Final Round: The Trail of Time
The winning Time Pilot now attempts to cross seven “Time Portals” (randomly placed ‘gates’ around the stage) in two minutes. At each gate, they are asked a question by the actress that portrays Carmen Sandiego via voice-over.  If they answer the question correctly, they’ll move on to the next portal.  If they get it wrong, they must operate a manual device to open the gate (turning a hand crank, pulling a rope, etc.) before moving to the next portal.  They capture the crook of the day after two portals are crossed.  If they cross all seven portals in two minutes, they “capture” Carmen Sandiego and win the grand prize: a fully stocked new Toshiba laptop computer, and a $250 savings bond.

That's the basic premise of the game.

Episodes (episodes are in airing order, NOT the date I plan to post them)

Season 1
September 30: Sheryl/Richard/Adam
October 1: William/Lena/James
October 2: Inez/Jonathan/Clayton
October 3: Joanna/Candace/Rob
October 4: Gwen/Shawn/Jessica
October 7: Juan/Kimberly/Jordan
October 8: Moses/Jose/Stephanie
October 9: Cory/Vicki/Clinton
October 10: Wayne/Noel/Desiree
October 11: Jenny/Christopher/Randy
October 14:
October 15:
October 16:
October 17:
October 18:
October 21:
October 22:
October 23:
October 24:
October 25:
October 28:
October 29:
October 30:
October 31:
November 1:
November 4:
November 5:
November 6:
November 7:
November 8:

And there you have it. The first episode will be posted soon, so look out for it.

6
The Treasure Room / Legends Episode Ranking System: Fanfic Edition
« on: February 06, 2013, 10:21:20 PM »
After reading over RJF and others' rankings of episodes in the Heart Room several days ago, I got to thinking: why couldn't we do that with the fanfics in this thread, too? I'm not sure how we would be able to do it, but it would be an intriguing way to see what other people think of others' work, and would give us a feel as to how the episode might go if it actually happened in real life. I'm thinking that we'd use a system similar to how we do the real episodes, grading each segment of the show on a scale of 1 to 10, and then averaging them all out at the end.

I want to get you guys' opinions before I embark on something like this. Good idea, or not?

7
The Dark Forest / The 100 Worst Songs of All Time
« on: December 01, 2012, 04:25:32 PM »



The 100 Worst Songs of All Time

For as far back as I can remember on this site, we’ve been talking about bad music and musicians.  While it’s true that music has gone downhill over the past decade or so, bad songs have existed for many, many years.  For example, when classic rock group The Shaggs released their first album, Philosophy of the World, in 1969, a critic at Rolling Stone magazine said “Without exaggeration, it may stand as the worst album ever recorded.”  It seems that throughout history, for every “Stairway to Heaven” or “Highway to Hell” the world has gotten, they’ve gotten ten times as many songs that are just plain horrible.

But how much of the music we listen to (or don’t listen to) is truly bad?  Is Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” really worse than, say, “The Pina Colada Song”?  Is Justin Bieber’s “Boyfriend” truly a worse song than the “Macarena”?  Is Starship’s “We Built This City” actually the worst song of all time, like the now-defunct Blender magazine once said?

Well, here’s our chance to find out.  The following countdown is a little project that you guys suggested I do as a follow-up to my “80 Greatest Nick Shows” list from last year (which can be found right here) in which we’ll try to determine what songs are the absolute worst ever recorded.  I decided to limit myself to music from the last 50 years (God forbid I try to determine if any Bing Crosby or Frank Sinatra stuff belongs here), and ranked and re-ranked the songs until I found myself with a list that is halfway decent.  I also tried to cut down on music from this year, limiting myself to only two choices from the past 12 months.  There’s also no points system like I did with the Nick Shows list—I did it by personal preference, and tried to put most of the more annoying songs near the top.

Let me say right now: this list will offend some people here.  Some people will find at least a few of these songs to be great; heck, someone’s favorite song may be on this list.  But this is a chance I take with something like this.  Whether it’s horrible lyrics, an annoying beat, or something else entirely, all 100 songs on this list have some quality that, in my opinion at least, make them among the worst of all time.  There’ll be twenty songs posted each weekend in December—ten on Saturday and ten on Sunday.

So now, please count down along with me as I try to determine which songs truly deserve the flying fickle finger of fate—and try not to let your ears bleed in the process.

These are: the 100 Worst Songs of All Time.

8
Soundstage 18 / The Top 80 Greatest Nickelodeon Shows of All Time
« on: December 11, 2011, 08:36:46 PM »


The 80 Greatest Nickelodeon Shows of All Time

As some of you may have seen from my previous posts, I've been working on a little project to determine which shows that debuted or famously aired on Nickelodeon are the best of the best.  After some research, ranking and writing, I feel I have come up with a halfway decent list of 80 shows which I think are the best Nick ever had.  I considered about 90 shows for this list (the ten that didn't make the cut will be my "honorable mentions"), and I devised a ranking system of five separate categories, in which I gave each show a value from 1 to 100.  Each show's five values were added up, and the total is the final score I used to rank each show on this countdown.

My five categories I rated each show in are:

Popularity: How popular was the show during its initial run on Nick?  Shows that didn't do well in the ratings won't get high scores here.
Originality: Was the show the first/foremost of its kind?  Shows that are reworkings of previously done programs will not score high here.
Longevity: How long did the show run initially?  Longer-running shows will rank higher here.
Nostalgia: How well-remembered is the show in question?  More recent shows will not get a very high score here.
Impact: Did the show have a sizable impact on future Nick shows or television in general?  Again, current shows will not rank high here.

Anyhow, I invite you to sit back and count down along with me, as we take a trip through the annals of time to discover some of the greatest shows Nick has ever broadcast, as well as a few shows you may not have ever heard of.  Remember, I'm ranking these shows by influence, so it's not necessarily which show is better-liked than others (though entertainment value does play a big part), but which shows define Nickelodeon the most.  I'll be providing brief histories of each show I rank, as well as what each show's total value is that it managed to rack up.  Feel free to comment on my choices or offer your insights at any time on this thread.  That being said, let's get started!

NOTE: For anyone who wants to learn more about Nickelodeon's early history, I invite you to go to THIS WEBSITE.  It gives a very detailed and interesting account of how Nickelodeon came to be, as well as cool inside information about lots of early Nickelodeon shows.

9
Episode 66: The Bullet-Pierced Playing Card of Charles Cognetz

The camera winds and twists its way through a thick jungle of strange and exotic plants.  After a few wrong turns, it finally stops in front of an ancient Mayan temple.  At the base of the temple, a giant stone head sits.  Suddenly, a torch on either side of the head begins burning.  The head’s eyes light up, and it begins to speak:

Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth!”  The words appear on the screen, along with a picture of a Pendant of Life.  “With your guide, Kirk Fogg!  And here he is now!”

As the Pendant of Life shatters, the camera cuts to a middle-aged man wearing a denim shirt and blue jeans riding in on an ATV.  He dismounts the vehicle and runs up the Steps of Knowledge, microphone in hand.

“Thank you!  Thank you very much!  Nice to see everyone!  Nice to see you, Olmec!  Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth.  The rooms are filled with lost treasures protected by mysterious Mayan Temple Guards.  Only Olmec knows the legends behind each of these all-new treasures in his Temple…which one are we gonna hear about today?”

“The legend of the Bullet-Pierced Playing Card of Charles Cognetz,” Olmec replies.

“Oh, the Bullet-Pierced Playing Card of Charles Cognetz,” Kirk repeats.  “Well, the legend is set, and one of these six teams will have the chance to retrieve the Playing Card—will it be:

“The Red Jaguars?”  The camera zooms in on each team as they are introduced.
“The Blue Barracudas?
“The Green Monkeys?
“The Orange Iguanas?
“The Purple Parrots?
“Or the Silver Snakes?

“They’ll have to pass some tough physical and mental tests, but in the end, only one team will have the right to enter Olmec’s Temple.  But first, they have to cross the Moat, and Olmec will tell us how they’ll have to do that today…”

Olmec begins to explain the Moat Crossing:
“Before you are two long rods which stretch across the Moat, and suspended from each rod is an ancient pedaling mechanism invented by Leonardo da Vinci himself.  When Kirk gives the signal, one player from each team will grab one pedal of the device with each hand, and then pedal across the Moat, just like if you were pedaling a bicycle.  Once you’re safely across, that’s your partner’s signal to cross with their own device.  If you fall off, you must go back and start again.  Once both players reach the other side, run over and hit the gong.”  Kirk hits the Silver Snakes’ gong to demonstrate.  “The first four teams to hit their gongs will go on to the next round!”

“All right…teams are you ready?” asks Kirk.
The teams all scream and cheer as a response.
“On your mark,” begins Kirk, “get set, GO!”

All six teams’ first members reach up and grab their pedaling devices, then begin making their way across the Moat.  The Red Jaguars’ boy takes an early lead, with the Orange Iguanas’ boy and the Blue Barracudas’ boy close behind.  The Green Monkeys’ girl falls into the Moat about seven seconds into the round, and the Purple Parrots’ girl follows about two seconds later.  “Oh, they’re down—they have to go back and start all over!” Kirk explains.  The Red Jaguars’ boy very quickly reaches the other side as the Blue Barracudas’ and Orange Iguanas’ boys have almost made it across now, and the Silver Snakes’ boy hits the water about halfway across.  The Purple Parrots’ and Green Monkeys’ girls now start pedaling across again, but the Green Monkeys’ girl falls off before she even gets a fourth of the way across the Moat, prompting her to start again.  The Red Jaguars’ girl is now at the halfway point as the Orange Iguanas’ and Blue Barracudas’ boys successfully make it across, and the Purple Parrots’ girl is slowly making her way across.  “Oh, it’s close, but we might have our first team pretty soon here!” Kirk narrates as the Red Jaguars’ girl has almost made it all the way across.  The Silver Snakes’ boy is now halfway across on his second try as the Purple Parrots’ girl falls into the Moat a second time; however, the Red Jaguars’ girl successfully makes it over without falling in, and she and her teammate hit the gong together.  “And…there’s our first team!” Kirk exclaims.  “We’re looking for…oh, we might have another one soon!”  Sure enough, the Orange Iguanas’ girl has almost made it across, and the Blue Barracudas’ girl is also slowly making progress.  The Silver Snakes’ boy makes it across as the Green Monkeys’ girl falls in for a second time.  The Purple Parrots’ girl looks tired as she pedals across the Moat on her third go-round.  The Orange Iguanas’ girl soon makes it across, though, and her team becomes the second to hit their gong.  A few seconds later, the Blue Barracudas’ girl makes it three teams when she crosses and rushes over to hit her team’s gong.  We see now that all the fog is gone from the Moat as the Green Monkeys’ and Purple Parrots’ girls exhaustedly pedal their ways across; the Silver Snakes’ girl, however, is leaving them both in the dust on her way across.  A few seconds later, the Silver Snakes’ girl successfully reaches the other side, and she hits her team’s gong to end the Moat Crossing.

“That’s it—we’ve got our four teams right there!” Kirk exclaims as he rushes over and stands beside the Silver Snakes.  “Silver Snakes are wet, they’re tired, but they made it across, and going on to the Steps of Knowledge are the Silver Snakes…and the Orange Iguanas…”  Kirk pauses between each team’s name to allow for applause.  “…and the Blue Barracudas…and the Red Jaguars!  The Green Monkeys and the Purple Parrots did great, too, but they’re not going home empty-handed.  We’ve got a great gift for ‘em, and here’s what it is!”  They receive a $50 gift certificate from Old Navy.

10
Episode 65: The Letter-Embroidered Cloth of Nathaniel Hawthorne

The camera winds and twists its way through a thick jungle of strange and exotic plants.  After a few wrong turns, it finally stops in front of an ancient Mayan temple.  At the base of the temple, a giant stone head sits.  Suddenly, a torch on either side of the head begins burning.  The head’s eyes light up, and it begins to speak:

Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth!”  The words appear on the screen, along with a picture of a Pendant of Life.  “With your guide, Kirk Fogg!  And here he is now!”

As the Pendant of Life shatters, the camera cuts to a middle-aged man wearing a denim shirt and blue jeans riding in on an ATV.  He dismounts the vehicle and runs up the Steps of Knowledge, microphone in hand.

“Thank you!  Thank you very much!  Nice to see everyone!  Nice to see you, Olmec!  Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth.  The rooms are filled with lost treasures protected by mysterious Mayan Temple Guards.  Only Olmec knows the legends behind each of these all-new treasures in his Temple…which one are we gonna hear about today?”

“The legend of the Letter-Embroidered Cloth of Nathaniel Hawthorne,” Olmec replies.

“Oh, the Letter-Embroidered Cloth of Nathaniel Hawthorne,” Kirk repeats.  “Well, the legend is set, and one of these teams will get a chance to retrieve the Cloth—will it be:

“The Red Jaguars?”  The camera zooms in on each team as they are introduced.
“The Blue Barracudas?
“The Green Monkeys?
“The Orange Iguanas?
“The Purple Parrots?
“Or the Silver Snakes?

“They’ll have to pass some tough physical and mental tests, but in the end, only one team will have the right to enter Olmec’s Temple.  But first, they’ll have to cross the Moat, and Olmec’s gonna tell us how they’ll have to do that today…”

Olmec begins to explain the Moat Crossing:
“Before you are two long rods which stretch across the Moat, and suspended from each rod is an ancient pedaling mechanism invented by Leonardo da Vinci himself.  When Kirk gives the signal, one player from each team will grab one pedal of the device with each hand, and then pedal across the Moat, just like if you were pedaling a bicycle.  Once you’re safely across, that’s your partner’s signal to cross with their own device.  If you fall off, you must go back and start again.  Once both players reach the other side, run over and hit the gong.”  Kirk hits the Silver Snakes’ gong to demonstrate.  “The first four teams to hit their gongs will go on to the next round!”

“All right, let’s get started,” Kirk says.  “Teams, are you ready?”
The teams all scream and cheer as a response.
“Olmec, are you ready?” Kirk asks.
“Let’s boogie,” Olmec replies.
“All right,” says Kirk.  “On your mark, get set, GO!”

The first members of each team reach up to grab the pedals with their hands.  “This takes strength and determination,” Kirk narrates as the players work to pedal their way across.  “You can’t go too fast, but you can’t go too slow either!”  The Purple Parrots’ boy pulls out in front, with the Red Jaguars’ and Orange Iguanas’ boys close behind.  The Blue Barracudas’ girl falls about halfway across, while the Green Monkeys’ girl’s hand slips from one of her handles, sending her plummeting into the Moat in her surprise.  The other four team members hang on, though, and as the Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas set out across for a second time, the other four teams manage to get one member across, and their teammates grab onto their pedal mechanisms.  “Oh, this is gonna be a close one, I can feel it!” Kirk narrates as the Silver Snakes’ girl falls in the Moat almost immediately.  The Blue Barracudas’ and Green Monkeys’ girls hang onto as they continue to pedal, slowly but surely making their way across.  The Silver Snakes’ girl starts to cross for her second time as the other three teams’ second members are now almost across.  The Blue Barracudas’ girl gives out and falls into the Moat just as the Orange Iguanas’ girl makes it across, and she hits her team’s gong.  “Oh, there’s our first team—whoa, second team!” Kirk exclaims as the Red Jaguars hit their gong next.  As the Blue Barracudas’ girl pedals for dear life on her third attempt, the Green Monkeys’ girl has now made it across.  Meanwhile, the Purple Parrots’ girl has made it across, and her team becomes the third to hit their gong.  “Three teams now…we need one more!” Kirk narrates as the Blue Barracudas’ boy now starts to pedal across.  However, the Silver Snakes’ girl makes it over to the other side, and lets go of her pedaling device (almost falling in the Moat in the process) before hitting her team’s gong and ending the Moat Crossing.

“That’s it—four teams, right there!” Kirk shouts as he goes over and stands beside the Silver Snakes.  “Silver Snakes fell in once, but they toughed it out on the pedals, and they’re going on to the Steps of Knowledge…along with the Purple Parrots…” Kirk pauses between each team’s name to allow for applause.  “…and the Orange Iguanas…and the Red Jaguars!  The Blue Barracudas and the Green Monkeys gave it a great effort.  They’re not going home empty-handed; we’ve got a great gift for ‘em, and here’s what it is!”  They receive a $50 gift certificate from GameStop.

11
The Jesters' Court / The Joke Thread!
« on: October 06, 2011, 09:17:57 PM »
Welcome to the Joke Thread!  Here, you can post some of the funniest (and maybe some of the not-so-funniest) jokes, riddles, gags, and head-puzzlers you can dig up!  Don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself around here! ;)

12
Episode 64: The Paint-Stained Tablecloth of Claude Monet

The camera winds and twists its way through a thick jungle of strange and exotic plants.  After a few wrong turns, it finally stops in front of an ancient Mayan temple.  At the base of the temple, a giant stone head sits.  Suddenly, a torch on either side of the head begins burning.  The head’s eyes light up, and it begins to speak:

Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth!”  The words appear on the screen, along with a picture of a Pendant of Life.  “With your guide, Kirk Fogg!  And here he is now!”

As the Pendant of Life shatters, the camera cuts to a middle-aged man wearing a denim shirt and blue jeans riding in on an ATV.  He dismounts the vehicle and runs up the Steps of Knowledge, microphone in hand.

“Thank you!  Thank you very much!  Nice to see everyone!  Nice to see you, Olmec!  Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth.  The rooms are filled with lost treasures protected by mysterious Mayan Temple Guards.  Only Olmec knows the legends behind each of these all-new treasures in his Temple…which one are we gonna hear about today?”

“The legend of the Paint-Stained Tablecloth of Claude Monet,” Olmec replies.

“Ah, the Paint-Stained Tablecloth of Claude Monet,” Kirk repeats.  “Well, the legend’s been set, and one of these teams will have a chance to retrieve the Tablecloth—will it be:

“The Red Jaguars?”  The camera zooms in on each team as they are introduced.
“The Blue Barracudas?
“The Green Monkeys?
“The Orange Iguanas?
“The Purple Parrots?
“Or the Silver Snakes?

“They’ll have to pass some tough physical and mental tests, but in the end, only one team will receive the right to enter Olmec’s Temple.  But first, they have to cross the Moat, and Olmec is gonna tell us how that’s gotta be done today…”

Olmec begins to explain the Moat Crossing:
“Before you are two long rods which stretch across the Moat, and suspended from each rod is an ancient pedaling mechanism invented by Leonardo da Vinci himself.  When Kirk gives the signal, one player from each team will grab one pedal of the device with each hand, and then pedal across the Moat, just like if you were pedaling a bicycle.  Once you’re safely across, that’s your partner’s signal to cross with their own device.  If you fall off, you must go back and start again.  Once both players reach the other side, run over and hit the gong.”  Kirk hits the Silver Snakes’ gong to demonstrate.  “The first four teams to hit their gongs will go on to the next round!”

“All right, let’s get started,” Kirk says.  “Teams, are you ready?”
All six teams scream and cheer in response.
“I can’t hear you…” Kirk taunts.
The teams cheer even louder.
“Olmec, are you ready?” Kirk asks.
“Let’s rock,” Olmec replies.
“On your mark,” Kirk begins, “get set, GO!”

The six teams’ first members each grab the handles of the pedaling apparatus and start pedaling their way across the Moat.  The Red Jaguars’ boy makes it about halfway across before he falls in, but the other two teams stay strong and pedal quickly, trying to make it across before fatigue sets in.  “They’re pedaling fast and furious…we’ll see if that pays off!” Kirk narrates as the team members vigorously pedal the mechanisms.  The Green Monkeys’ girl falls off just as she’s almost across, but the other four teams’ first members make it successfully.  As the Red Jaguars’ boy is now about halfway across, the Green Monkeys’ girl and the other teams’ members start to cross as well, but the Silver Snakes’ girl falls off about three seconds after pedaling, but the other players hang on and keep pedaling across.  “Everybody’s hanging on tight to those—whoa, Green Monkeys went in!” Kirk exclaims as the Green Monkeys’ girl falls in for the second time.  The Red Jaguars’ boy has now made it across, and so has the Blue Barracudas’ girl, who runs over to hit her team’s gong.  “And…there’s our first team—there’s our second team!” Kirk narrates as the Orange Iguanas’ boy hits his team’s gong as well.  The Silver Snakes’ girl falls off again about halfway across, but the Purple Parrots’ girl successfully crosses and hits her team’s gong.  “Three teams down; we can only take one more!” Kirk insists as the three remaining teams’ members laboriously pedal their mechanisms.  The Silver Snakes’ girl is slowly making progress on her third try, and the Green Monkeys’ girl is now almost across.  However, the Red Jaguars’ girl reaches the other side of the Moat before they can, and her team becomes the final one to hit their gong.

“That’s it—we’ve got our four teams!” Kirk says as he heads over and stands beside the Purple Parrots.  “Four teams, right here.  The Purple Parrots hung onto those…pedals; they stuck it out, and they’re goin’ on to the Steps of Knowledge…along with the Orange Iguanas…”  Kirk pauses between each team’s name to allow for applause.  “…and the Blue Barracudas…and the Red Jaguars!  The Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes gave it a great effort, too; they’re not going home empty-handed.  We’ve got a great gift for ‘em, and here’s what it is!”  They receive a $50 gift certificate from Pacsun.

13
Episode 63: The Satin Evening Gown of Emily Dickinson

The camera winds and twists its way through a thick jungle of strange and exotic plants.  After a few wrong turns, it finally stops in front of an ancient Mayan temple.  At the base of the temple, a giant stone head sits.  Suddenly, a torch on either side of the head begins burning.  The head’s eyes light up, and it begins to speak:

Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth!”  The words appear on the screen, along with a picture of a Pendant of Life.  “With your guide, Kirk Fogg!  And here he is now!”

As the Pendant of Life shatters, the camera cuts to a middle-aged man wearing a denim shirt and blue jeans riding in on an ATV.  He dismounts the vehicle and runs up the Steps of Knowledge, microphone in hand.

“Thank you!  Thank you very much!  Nice to see everyone!  Nice to see you, Olmec!  Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth.  The rooms are filled with lost treasures protected by mysterious Mayan Temple Guards.  Only Olmec knows the legends behind each of these all-new treasures in his Temple…which one are we gonna hear about today?”

“The legend of the Satin Evening Gown of Emily Dickinson,” Olmec replies.

“Ah, the Satin Evening Gown of Emily Dickinson,” Kirk repeats.  “Well, the legend is set, and one of these six teams will have a chance to retrieve the Evening Gown—will it be:

“The Red Jaguars?”  The camera zooms in on each team as they are introduced.
“The Blue Barracudas?
“The Green Monkeys?
“The Orange Iguanas?
“The Purple Parrots?
“Or the Silver Snakes?

“They’ll have to endure some tough physical and mental tests, and in the end, only one team will receive the right to enter Olmec’s Temple.  But first, they have to cross the Moat, and Olmec’s gonna tell us how they have to do that today…”
Olmec begins to explain the Moat Crossing:

“Before you are two long rods which stretch across the Moat, and suspended from each rod is an ancient pedaling mechanism invented by Leonardo da Vinci himself.  When Kirk gives the signal, one player from each team will grab one pedal of the device with each hand, and then pedal across the Moat, just like if you were pedaling a bicycle.  Once you’re safely across, that’s your partner’s signal to cross with their own device.  If you fall off, you must go back and start again.  Once both players reach the other side, run over and hit the gong.”  Kirk hits the Silver Snakes’ gong to demonstrate.  “The first four teams to hit their gongs will go on to the next round!”

“All right, let’s get started,” says Kirk.  “Teams, are you ready?”
All six teams shout and cheer in response.
“Olmec, are you ready?” Kirk asks.
“Let’s rock,” Olmec replies.
“On your mark,” Kirk begins, “get set, GO!”

All six teams’ first members reach up and grab one pedal of the device above them in each of their hands.  Then, as if they were pedaling a bike with their hands, they begin pedaling the apparatus across the Moat.  “This takes a lot of strength and determination if they wanna make it across,” Kirk remarks as the Green Monkeys’ girl and the Blue Barracudas’ and Purple Parrots’ boys immediately fall into the Moat.  The Red Jaguars’ boy makes it about one-third of the way across the Moat before he falls in as well, and the Silver Snakes’ boy makes it a little farther before also hits the water.  “Oh, they’re falling in left and right—only one team is still on the, uh…pedal!” Kirk narrates as the Orange Iguanas’ boy hangs on for dear life as he laboriously pedals across with the mechanism.  The Green Monkeys’ girl makes it about halfway across on her second try before one of her hands slips, but she regains herself and keeps pedaling.  “Oh, it’s tough to stay on those pedals—whoa, Blue Barracudas just went in!” Kirk narrates as the Blue Barracudas’ boy hits the water for the second time.  The Orange Iguanas’ boy looks exhausted as he finally makes it to the other side, and his partner reaches up to the second rod before she begins to pedal across.  The Red Jaguars’ boy and Green Monkeys’ girl are slowly pedaling across as the Purple Parrots’ boy falls off the pedal a second time.  The Silver Snakes’ boy has now made it across, and his partner grabs onto her pedals as the Green Monkeys’ girl is now almost to the other side.  The Blue Barracudas’ boy is hanging on for dear life to his pedals, determined not to fall off for a third time as he exhaustedly pedals with his arms.  The Green Monkeys’ girl finally makes it to the other side, and the Orange Iguanas’ girl isn’t far behind as she rushes over to hit her team’s gong.  “And…there’s our first team!” Kirk says.  “There’s room for three more teams…and I have a feeling they’re gonna be tired!”  The Green Monkeys’ boy is pedaling across quite quickly—an act he may regret later—as the Silver Snakes’ girl slowly and difficultly pedals her device as well.  The Purple Parrots’ and Blue Barracudas’ boys both look very tired as they both try to pedal across the Moat for the third time, much more slowly than the other four teams’ players.  The Red Jaguars’ boy makes it across, and his team becomes the second to hit their gongs.  The Purple Parrots’ boy finally tires out and falls into the Moat for the third time today, and the Blue Barracudas’ boy soon follows suit.  “Oh, no, back in the water they go,” Kirk laments as the spotters send the boys back.  “Their arms will be sore tomorrow—whoa, we’ve got three teams!” Kirk shouts as the Green Monkeys hit their gongs.  The Silver Snakes’ girl is almost across as the Purple Parrots’ and Blue Barracudas’ boys very slowly start to pedal across for the fourth time today.  Soon, they fall off again, and about five seconds later, the Silver Snakes’ girl hits her team’s gong to end the very difficult Moat Crossing.

“That’s it—we’ve got our four teams!” Kirk shouts as he runs over and stands beside the noticeably tired Silver Snakes.  “That was a tough Moat, no doubt about it, but the Silver Snakes stuck it out; they made it across—they’re goin’ on to the Steps of Knowledge…along with the Orange Iguanas…”  Kirk pauses between each team’s name to allow for applause.  “…and the Green Monkeys…and the Red Jaguars!  The Blue Barracudas and the Purple Parrots gave it a great effort, too, and they’re not going home empty-handed.  We’ve got a great gift for ‘em, and here’s what it is!”  They receive a $50 gift certificate from GameStop.

14
Episode 62: The Golden Apple from the Edge of the World

The camera winds and twists its way through a thick jungle of strange and exotic plants.  After a few wrong turns, it finally stops in front of an ancient Mayan temple.  At the base of the temple, a giant stone head sits.  Suddenly, a torch on either side of the head begins burning.  The head’s eyes light up, and it begins to speak:

“Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth!”  The words appear on the screen, along with a picture of a Pendant of Life.  “With your guide, Kirk Fogg!  And here he is now!”

As the Pendant of Life shatters, the camera cuts to a middle-aged man wearing a denim shirt and blue jeans riding in on an ATV.  He dismounts the vehicle and runs up the Steps of Knowledge, microphone in hand.

“Thank you!  Thank you very much!  Nice to see everyone!  Nice to see you, Olmec!  Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth.  The rooms are filled with lost treasures protected by mysterious Mayan Temple Guards.  Only Olmec knows the legends behind each of these all-new treasures in his Temple…which one are we gonna hear about today?”

“The legend of the Golden Apple from the Edge of the World,” Olmec replies.

“Oh, the Golden Apple from the Edge of the World,” Kirk repeats.  “Well, the legend is set, and one of these teams will have the chance to retrieve the Golden Apple—will it be:

“The Red Jaguars?”  The camera zooms in on each team as they are introduced.
“The Blue Barracudas?
“The Green Monkeys?
“The Orange Iguanas?
“The Purple Parrots?
“Or the Silver Snakes?

“They’ll have to pass some tough physical and mental tests, but in the end, only one team will have the rights to enter Olmec’s Temple.  But first, they have to cross the Moat, and Olmec will tell us how they have to do that today…”

Olmec begins to explain the Moat Crossing:
“Before you are three rods which stretch the entire length of the Moat.  When Kirk gives the signal, one player from each team will jump into the water and wade out to the first rod.  Then, lean backwards and walk forward until you pass under the rod.  Once you’ve passed under the first rod, wade out to the second one and do the same.  Both players must cross in this way; but if you touch the rod with any part of your body, you must go back and start all over again.  Once both players reach the other side, run over and hit the gong.”  Kirk hits the Silver Snakes’ gong to demonstrate.  “The first four teams to hit their gongs will go on to the next round!”

“All right, time to get started,” Kirk says.  “Teams, are you ready?”
The six teams scream and cheer in response.
“Olmec, are you ready?” Kirk asks.
“Rock on, baby,” Olmec replies.
“Ha, ha—okay,” Kirk chuckles.  “On your mark, get set, GO!”

The six teams’ first members slide into the Moat and make their way toward the first rod.  “And there they go—how low can they go?” Kirk asks no one in particular.  Everyone makes it under the first rod and wades out to the second one.  They all bend over backwards and attempt to pass under the rod, and everyone makes it except the unlucky Purple Parrots’ boy, who touches the rod and is sent back by spotters.  The rest trudge toward the third and final rod, and slowly bend backward and inch under it.  “They have to go slow; they don’t wanna hit that rod and be sent back—oh, Orange Iguanas have to go back!” Kirk narrates as the Orange Iguanas’ boy touches his section of the rod and reluctantly heads back to try again.  The Silver Snakes’ boy bends back too far and falls in the water, and is also sent back as the Purple Parrots’ boy is now working to pass under the second rod.  The remaining three teams’ first members make it all the way across, and their partners now start to cross as well.  The Purple Parrots’ boy slowly but surely inches under the third and final rod and heads to the other side as the Red Jaguars, Green Monkeys and Blue Barracudas’ second team members wade into the water and bend under the first rod.  The Purple Parrots’ girl bends over forward to pass under the first rod, and the spotters send her back to do it correctly.  The Orange Iguanas’ boy slowly inches under his third rod, but ends up touching it when he’s almost halfway under, so he’s sent back as well.  The Silver Snakes’ boy makes it across as the Blue Barracudas’ girl and Green Monkeys’ boy are already trying to limbo under their third and final rod.  The Red Jaguars’ girl, however, has already made it to the other side, and she hits her gong first.  “There’s our first team—we’re looking for three more!” Kirk narrates as the Silver Snakes’ girl slips and falls into the water, prompting the spotters to send her back.  The Purple Parrots’ girl makes it under the second rod (the correct way this time) as the Green Monkeys’ boy and Blue Barracudas’ girl both pass under the third rod, scramble to the other side, and hit their gongs.  “Two more teams, that’s three—we need one more!” Kirk comments.  The Orange Iguanas’ boy is inching under the third rod as the Silver Snakes’ girl passes under the second rod.  However, the Purple Parrots’ girl manages to pass under the third and final rod first, and she is helped out of the water by a spotter before she rushes over and hits her team’s gong, ending the Moat Crossing.

“And that’s it!” Kirk says as he runs over and stands beside the Purple Parrots.  “We’ve got our four teams, right there…Purple Parrots hit a little speed bump there at first, but they stuck it out, and going on to the Steps of Knowledge are the Purple Parrots…and the Green Monkeys…” Kirk pauses between each team’s name to allow for applause.  “…and the Blue Barracudas…and the Red Jaguars!  The Orange Iguanas and the Silver Snakes did great, too, and they’re not going home empty-handed.  We’ve got a great gift for ‘em, and here’s what it is!”  They receive a $50 gift certificate from Pacsun.

15
The Treasure Room / Legends: Rebirth-Kaguyahime's Mystical Robe
« on: August 10, 2011, 09:41:41 PM »
Episode 61: Kaguyahime’s Mystical Robe

The camera winds and twists its way through a thick jungle of strange and exotic plants.  After a few wrong turns, it finally stops in front of an ancient Mayan temple.  At the base of the temple, a giant stone head sits.  Suddenly, a torch on either side of the head begins burning.  The head’s eyes light up, and it begins to speak:

Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth!”  The words appear on the screen, along with a picture of a Pendant of Life.  “With your guide, Kirk Fogg!  And here he is now!”

As the Pendant of Life shatters, the camera cuts to a middle-aged man wearing a denim shirt and blue jeans riding in on an ATV.  He dismounts the vehicle and runs up the Steps of Knowledge, microphone in hand.

“Thank you!  Thank you very much!  Nice to see everyone!  Nice to see you, Olmec!  Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth.  The rooms are filled with lost treasures protected by mysterious Mayan Temple Guards.  Only Olmec knows the legends behind each of these all-new treasures in his Temple…which one are we gonna hear about today?”

 “The legend of Kaguyahime’s Mystical Robe,” Olmec replies.

“Ooh, Kaguyahime’s Mystical Robe,” Kirk repeats.  “Well, one of our six teams will have a chance to retrieve the Mystical Robe—will it be:

“The Red Jaguars?”  The camera zooms in on each team as they are introduced.
“The Blue Barracudas?
“The Green Monkeys?
“The Orange Iguanas?
“The Purple Parrots?
“Or the Silver Snakes?

“They’ll have to pass through the tough physical and mental tests, but in the end, only one of these teams will earn the right to enter Olmec’s Temple.  But first, they have to cross the Moat, and Olmec will tell us how they’ll have to do that today…”

Olmec begins to explain the Moat Crossing:
“Before you are three rods which stretch the entire length of the Moat.  When Kirk gives the signal, one player from each team will jump into the water and wade out to the first rod.  Then, lean backwards and walk forward until you pass under the rod.  Once you’ve passed under the first rod, wade out to the second one and do the same.  Both players must cross in this way; but if you touch the rod with any part of your body, you must go back and start all over again.  Once both players reach the other side, run over and hit the gong.”  Kirk hits the Silver Snakes’ gong to demonstrate.  “The first four teams to hit their gongs will go on to the next round!”

“All right, let’s get started,” Kirk says.  “Teams, are you ready?”
All six teams scream and cheer in response.
“Olmec, are you ready?” Kirk asks.
“Let’s rock,” Olmec replies.
“On your mark,” Kirk begins, “get set, GO!”

“Right into the Moat they go!” Kirk narrates as the teams’ first members wade out into the water and head toward the first rod.  Everyone bends over backwards, passing under the first foot-and-a-half high rod with little trouble, and moves on to the next one.  The Green Monkeys’ boy accidentally bumps into the rod upon bending over backwards and is sent back, but all the others pass under the second rod and wade out toward the third one.  “It’s tough to balance yourself while going under those rods,” Kirk observes.  The Green Monkeys’ boy passes under the first rod on his second try at crossing as the other five teams’ first members squeeze under the six-inch high rod and make it to the other side.  “They got their first teams over, now they’ve gotta get their partners across,” Kirk narrates.  The Green Monkeys’ boy manages to pass under the final rod as the other teams’ second members start to cross.  As the Green Monkeys’ girl scrambles into the Moat to start her first attempt at crossing, every one of the second team members limbo under the first rod.  The Green Monkeys’ girl slowly passes under the first rod about five seconds later as the other teams come to the second rod, and all eventually limbo underneath it.  “Oh, it’s close—almost too close to call!” Kirk commentates.  As the Green Monkeys’ girl passes under the second rod, the other five teams slowly start passing under the third rod.  The Orange Iguanas’ boy and Purple Parrots’ girl have very little trouble and pass under the rod first, but the other teams are slightly slower with their crossings.  The Orange Iguanas and Purple Parrots hit their gongs as the Silver Snakes’ boy slips and falls into the Moat, prompting him to go back.  As the Red Jaguars’ boy slips under the rod and heads to the other side to hit his team’s gong, the Green Monkeys’ girl quickly tries to pass under the third rod and accidentally hits it, so the spotters send her back.  The Silver Snakes’ boy and Green Monkeys’ girl valiantly step back into the Moat to start again, but by this time, it’s too late—the Blue Barracudas’ girl makes it under the rod, and is helped out of the Moat by her partner and a spotter before running over to hit her team’s gong.

“That’s it—we’ve got our four teams, right there!” Kirk exclaims as he rushes over and stands next to the Purple Parrots.  “Purple Parrots went under those rods and straight over to the other side—they’re goin’ on to the Steps of Knowledge…along with the Orange Iguanas…”  Kirk pauses between each team’s name to allow for applause.  “…and the Blue Barracudas…and the Red Jaguars!  The Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes did a great job, too, and we’re not sending them home empty-hem—handed.  We’ve got a great gift for ‘em, and here’s what it is!”  They receive a $50 gift certificate from Pacsun.

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