Legends Episode Ranking System - COMPLETE

[The Red Jaguars]

IIRC, we have reviewed 55 episodes now with Snake Bracelet done.  By the time August is over, we should have reached the half-way point easily. Nice to see that you are doing Sforza as one of your episodes.  If you do that one, then I will probably follow up with Benzibab since those two episodes are similar.  And good luck with Grandy Nanny, I HATE that episode.  The Orange Iguanas have a lot of bad episodes on the show it seems like. And that episode is hard to watch with the crappy camera work to Jonathan and Amber's incompetence.

I figure once I am done with those 8 episodes, then I am going to try and knock out all the forgettable episodes as I can. Ones like Silver Saddle Horn, Zenobia, Efoua, Lost Fountain of Youth, Lion-Slashed Jacket, Useless Map, and Gwalior.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Yeah, we should have about 68 or so episodes done by the time we cover all the episodes I listed. Good idea reviewing Benzibab right after I review Sforza too. Then we'll have another whole production day completed. And good luck with boring episodes like Silver Saddle Horn, Ponce de Leon, Zenobia, etc. Most of those episodes I don't have screencapped anyways, so those are all yours. Though I do have Gwalior screencapped with the Nickelodeon logo on it. So whenever you get to that episode, I'll PM you those pictures. Then after Gwalior is done, we'll have all the Blue Barracuda runs in Season 3 reviewed.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Alright, here's my review of "The Missing Portrait of Hans Holbein."

THE MISSING PORTRAIT OF HANS HOLBEIN

MOAT: 5/10

For this moat, the players had to balance on three islands and a plank. If they fell into the water, the teams had to start all over again. This was a rather lackluster round honestly. Almost all the teams fell into the water at least once. Furthermore, the round in general was just unexciting. Nonetheless, the Blue Barracudas, Red Jaguars, Green Monkeys, and Purple Parrots ended up advancing to the Steps of Knowledge.

LEGEND: 5/10

Credit goes to Nicklegends for the picture

The legend was about Hans Holbein, and his painting of Henry VIII. Unfortunately, the painting was not well received by Henry VIII himself, as he thought the painting made look twice as big. He even went as far as compare himself as "Henry the Sixteenth!" Hans Holbein painted another portrait of Henry VIII, and the old one ended up in the temple. I would've liked this legend a lot better if it wasn't too much centered around Henry VIII, who already had an artifact named after him back in Season 1. A majority of this legend talked WAY too much about Henry VIII and his background and his bad luck with his six marriages. That's one thing that bugged me, it had almost nothing to do with Hans Holbein, other than his portrait being maligned. So that's why I gave it a low score. Furthermore, the legend was way too short, which is something you'd expect in Season 1. Hence my short description here.

STEPS OF KNOWLEDGE: 7/10

Fortunately, the Steps of Knowledge round was much better than the legend itself. All of the questions related to painting, so it was almost impossible to get an answer wrong. There was one wrong answer however, given by the Green Monkeys. Where they thought a "squeegee" was an artist's tool. Seriously? How do you get that question wrong? In the end, the Purple Parrots were the first team to qualify for the temple games, and the Blue Barracudas eventually joined them on the final step.

TEMPLE GAMES: 6/10

The temple games were an alright round. In the first game, Keith and Danielle had to roll around on giant wheels and destroy all the portraits of Henry VIII. Keith won the game with 24 seconds to go. In the second game, Rachel and James used the see saw/rotating levers game to put body parts like a nose, ear, etc. on Henry VIII's face. In other words, they made his face look like Mr. Potato. Neither player did well in this game, and couldn't get a good rhythm down. But, Rachel ended up winning, leading the temple games 1-0 at this point. In the third game, the teams had to toss rocks to their partners suspended in the air, and knock over the columns of Henry VIII. The Blue Barracudas won the game fair and square, completely shutting out the Purple Parrots and going to the temple with 2 pendants!

TEMPLE RUN: 5/10

The temple run was just your typical center of the room loss. The layout is impossible, with few shortcuts available, and neither player is any match for it. Rachel goes first and she does an okay job. She loses her pendant immediately in the Crypt, and doesn't try all three books. She slowly makes her way as far as the Room of the Ancient Warriors, where she's removed from the temple with 1:24 on the clock. Keith goes in next and he's a little faster, but things aren't really looking up for him. After assembling the monkey, he's forced into the Room of the Secret Password, where his reading of the passwords are the strongest I've ever heard from any contestant, and makes his way into the Quicksand Bog. He makes it as far as the Dark Forest, where his time runs out there. Tough layout, there was really nothing they could've done differently to win. Maybe move faster, especially Rachel, but they were going to lose anyways. This temple run is pretty much a rehash of "The Ivory Elephant of Scheherazade," only this layout was a lot harder since most of the shortcuts were blocked off.

FINAL VERDICT: 5.6/10

Overall, this was generally an unexciting episode. I thought this episode would at least rank in the 6 range, but the disappointing legend and mundane rounds hurt the final score quite a bit. The temple run was okay. Neither Rachel or Keith were fast, but they were decent players. They just got screwed over with a tough layout, like most teams did on this filming day. So I can't fault them too much, though they could've moved a little faster. This episode is pretty boring, and you're not really missing anything. But I still recommend a re watch nonetheless.

[The Red Jaguars]

Hans Holbein was the final episode filmed on the bitchy layout day with Ivan the Terrible, Robert the Bruce, and William Tell. And of course, the producers expected way too much out of the Blue Barracudas in the temple. I am surprised the teams struggled in the moat for this episode though. When this moat was used in "Ivan the Terrible", those teams completed it fast, But they did seem to struggle in this moat though. And your right, the plot for this episode is messed up. Since the producers used Henry VIII already as a featured artifact, they were forced to come up with another historical figure and force them into the Henry VIII story. This time around, it was Hans Holbein. The episode plot was very short also. That is what they get for reusing a story that was told in "Henry VIII's Great Seal". And I definitely remember the "Squeegee" answer in the Steps too.

The temple games were average, and it felt like there was no competition. Once again, there was way too much of a Henry VIII theme going in this round. It was rare for a temple game sweep with boy/girl temple game matchups. I know this happened in the "Imperial Wizard" temple games too. The temple run had a very hard layout, but Keith and Rachel didn't move that fast to begin with. Rachel was especially slow, and she never tried all three books in the Crypt and was only entering her fourth room by the time a minute passed. Keith was an average contestant too, and his time ended in the Quicksand Bog. Overall, this team had no chance in this temple layout. But they still made it far taking into account of the rooms they had to enter. There was no way they were going to win anyways, even if the Shrine shortcut opened. Oh yeah, Rachel's voice irritates me in the temple too. 

Overall, the 5.6 score for Hans Holbein is fitting. Most of the rounds for this episode were average at best and the producers shafted Rachel and Keith in the temple. But the temple run was not very exciting like "Ivan the Terrible" was though. Good episode review though, and it was nice to read over an overview of this episode again because it has been a while since I have seen it. This is one episode you can watch when you are bored and want something different. But other than that, it is in my forgettable pile. Good job overall. 

And for my next one, which I will try to have up tomorrow, is the super exciting Jedediah Smith episode. 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Keith's time ran out in the Dark Forest, NOT Quicksand Bog. But yeah, I remember Rachel entering her first room out of the Pit in 2 minutes, not very fast at all. And I really don't consider Rachel a "screamer" either. Her voice did sound weird, but maybe it was just a voiceover? Other than that, this temple run wasn't very exciting. It was an impossible layout, (like most layouts on this filming day were) and this team didn't have a chance anyways.

Good luck reviewing Bent Shaving Pan. You're gonna need all the luck you can get there. Since it is SUCH a boring episode with mediocre players.

[The Red Jaguars]

I always confuse Robert the Bruce with Hans Holbein. Jeremy was the one whose run ended in the Quicksand Bog. Both runs are very similar too and both girls in those runs have annoying voices too. Although I always liked the Hans Holbein run much better than Robert the Bruce. Robert the Bruce team made too many errors and Jeremy stalled too much. Also, I noticed that you were the one that ranked the whole "impossible layout day". Maybe you should take Dried Apple Half too?    Just kidding.

And when it comes to Bent Shaving Pan, I am completing that one by pieces. I already watched the moat and Steps and this episode is already annoying me. But either way, I will have it up by tomorrow. 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

I have Dried Apple Half screencapped actually. So, why shouldn't I review it? Unless you want to take it, since you always review the absolute worst possible episodes. Plus, my screencaps of Dried Apple Half are grainy anyways. Don't worry, I'll save episodes like John Sutter and Galileo for you. Since those are some of the best episodes on the show.

[The Red Jaguars]

Well, I finally finished my episode review for "Bent Shaving Pan". It took me longer than usual because I could not finish this one through one sitting. It was so boring and uneventful. It was a pretty mediocre episode overall and there is a reason why no one here talks about it. 

THE BENT SHAVING PAN OF JEDEDIAH SMITH

MOAT: 6/10

The six teams had to cross this moat using a giant net that expands across both sides of it. Both players on each team had to hold onto each side of their net and shimmy across. Once they reached to the other side, they had to wait for their partner to cross also. Once both players were on the other side, then they could hit their gong. This was a pretty average moat for the most part. No individual team's performance stuck out and all the teams were close in timing when it came to hitting their gongs. Also, this moat in general was kind of boring compared to most Season 3 moats. It was an average moat with nothing really good or bad about it.

LEGEND: 4/10

One of the most fearless mountain men of all time was Jedediah Strong Smith. In the early 1800's, he was one of the first frontiersmen to brave the blizzard, the deadly animals, and passages of the Sierras. He also lead the first wagon trains into California. Jedediah Smith was very mean and fierce, and nothing ever scared him. One day while shaving, a 600 pound grizzly bear attack Jedediah and his friend Bill. Bill warned Jedediah about the bear, but he had no time to grab his gun. Jedediah Smith turned around and hit the bear with his Shaving Pan. The bear ran away and caused his Shaving Pan to become bent. Eventually, he got a new shaving pan and the bent one made its way to the temple.

This legend was pretty boring and lame. This story hyped Jedediah Smith up to be a strong and fearless man, but then it turned into a story about a man shaving and chasing a bear away. It does sound kind of badass that Jedediah was able to get rid of bear with just his shaving pan. But the unusual dialogue from Bill ruined this part and it made it sound childish. There was not much to say about this legend at all, except that it could've used a more serious tone to it. This is probably the shortest legend summary I ever written because there was not much to talk about it.

STEPS OF KNOWLEDGE: 7/10

All of the questions asked were primarily from the legend. This was a close Steps of Knowledge round in general, as all four teams made it to the second to last step. There was one wrong answer given by the Orange Iguanas, but it wasn't a bad answer at all as the question was asking for a specific type of bird that described Jedediah Smith. Also, the Green Monkeys got a couple of lucky breaks with their answers. A couple of their answers weren't specific enough but Olmec was lenient enough to give it to them. Due to the close competition in this Steps of Knowledge round, I gave it a higher score.

TEMPLE GAMES: 4/10

The introduction to the temple games was very unusual because there was no introduction for any of the teams at all. Sometimes Kirk just read the players' names for each team instead of explaining their interest, but Kirk does introduce the team's at all. I am not sure if it is because of bad editing or because of time constraints, but it was definitely unusual. Regardless, the two teams featured Irish and Brian of the Orange Iguanas and Sarah and Vernon of the Green Monkeys. The temple games were pretty boring and the temple game sequence was very unusual. None of the temple games had anything really to do with the legend and were completely random. The two standout moments during this round was Brian's domination of his individual game and the tiebreaker. Other than that, this temple game round was boring and lackluster.

Temple Game #1 - Path through the Forest

In the first temple game, the two female players had to nagivate through a forest and find different foods to eat. While gathering their foods, they will have to cross a set of steps and memorize a path to the foods. If one of their steps sink, then they have to start over again and try a different path. If they step on a step that sinks while holding a piece of food, then they must start over again also. The player that collects all three different pieces of food will be the winner. Sarah was able to gather her three pieces of food first before time was up, so she was declared the winner.

Temple Game #2 - Jedediah's Boulder Tossing Game

In the second temple game, Vernon and Brian were in an enclosed space while standing on a trampoline. Below them were more than a dozen color rocks. The boys had 60 seconds to take their rocks and throw them into the hole behind their opponent. They will earn a point for every rock they got into their hole. While playing, the boys could also block the shots of their opponent to prevent them from scoring. The player with the most points after 60 seconds will be the winner. Brian DOMINATED this temple game and only missed one shot overall. He destroyed Vernon 14-5 in this game.

Temple Game #3 - Clearing Out Boulders for Jedediah's Bed

In the final temple game, the two teams had to clear out boulders in order to make a bed for Jedediah Smith. Both players were tied to a wall with their backs to each other. One player had to run out and throw the boulder over their head, while their partner had to run out and catch the boulder. he players had to work together when throwing and catching the boulder. If they move took quickly, they could mess their partner up that was trying to complete their task. The team that collected the most boulders were the winners. In the end, the two teams tied and it comes down to a 1.5-1.5 tiebreaker.

The tiebreaker question asked was, "Was Jedediah Smith's middle name..." and the Orange Iguanas hit their gong first and answered "Strong", which was the correct answer. Irish and Brian were then granted access into Olmec's temple.

TEMPLE RUN: 3/10

In the earlier seasons of the temple, one room away guards were fairly common and screwed teams over because of this. By the time Season 3 came around, the one room away guards were a very rare occurrence. Unfortunately for Brian and Irish though, they faced a one room away guard during this temple run. But this Orange Iguanas team was very slow to begin with though. Irish was very hesitant in the temple and moved slower than the average Season 3 girl. She took too long to complete each of her objectives and stalled when traveling between rooms. If there is one thing Irish did right though, she did use the Dark Forest-Shrine shortcut. When she entered the Room of the Ancient Warriors though, Irish tried very hard to avoid the middle suit of armor. I don't know if it is because she knew the temple guard was there or not, but when she was finally forced to try it, she tried escaping it quickly but finally got captured by the temple guard. With 30 seconds to himself, there was no way Brian was going to win. But he stalled while following his partner's clear path and only made it as far as the Jester's Court. This was a pretty boring temple run and nothing significant happens at all. This team moved slow anyways and they wouldn't have won whether there was a one room away guard or not.

FINAL VERDICT: 4.8/10

"Bent Shaving Pan" was one of the most boring episodes to ever appear on the show. Every single round of this episode was dull and it was pretty hard to sit through it. While it wasn't a horrible episode, it was pretty mediocre compared to the average episode of Season 3. If there was one round I liked, it was the close competition in the Steps of Knowledge. Otherwise, this episode is completely forgettable and you probably would forget that it exists too like I did. The temple run was also a snoozefest also and the Orange Iguanas were far too slow in the temple. Nobody ever criticizes Irish and Brian for their speed in the temple, but they would've reached the artifact if they both moved faster. Other than that, I don't really recommend this episode to watch. You will probably fall asleep while watching it and there is nothing that sticks out about it that differentiates it from other Season 3 episodes. It was a pretty mediocre episode overall and you probably won't go back to watch it again after a first viewing.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Bent Shaving Pan is by far the most forgettable episode ever. You thought The Stone Marker of Leif Erickson was a snooze fest? I completely forget this episode exists all the time, that's how forgettable and filler it is. In fact, Bent Shaving Pan scored much worse than I thought. It couldn't even get a 5 average? I did like the moat used in this episode, and I liked the temple game sequence, the exact set of temple games Xerxes used. But other than that, this episode was extremely boring. Both Irish and Brian were WAY too slow in the temple, and they don't deserve any sympathy that they get. In my opinion, they get way too much credit for being horribly slow players, yet everybody hates Derek and Sherra just because they had a hard layout. Brian was definitely the slowest of the two. While 30 seconds is not enough time to make up for your partners hesitance, you should be able to make it further than the Dark Forest. I have no sympathy for them because they lost and they deserved the one room away temple guard. How anyone can defend them is beyond me.

Overall, great review. I think I might review either Leonardo Da Vinci or Grandy Nanny next. I know they're pretty lackluster episodes too, but it's just to continue the trend of reviewing boring Orange Iguana episodes.

[The Red Jaguars]

Leonardo Da Vinci was a good episode in my eyes, albeit forgettable and boring like Stone Marker. My prediction is that Da Vinci will rank a little higher than Stone Marker, probably in the 5.3-5.5 range. As forgettable as the episode was, I do remember the rare Orange-Blue temple game, tie on the second to last step, and the paint bucket temple game. It definitely wasn't mediocre bad like Bent Shaving Pan. Now Grandy Nanny is a horrible episode though. It featured a very bad Orange Iguana team, it was extremely boring, and the camera work sucked too. Leonardo Da Vinci is easily better than Grandy Nanny.

But yeah, Bent Shaving Pan was lackluster and I actually dislike this episode. It was so boring and nothing was really good about it at all. The only thing I liked was how Brian dominated his temple game. The temple run itself was boring and theY wouldn't have won due to how slow they moved. People harp on Brittany and Damien for being so slow, but Damien as the second runner made it to the same room as Irish was taken out. And he was the second runner too. But everybody picks on the Pytheas team and says nothing about these two. I am glad to get that episode out of the way.

I am excited to do Annie Oakley next. That is a very fun episode and I expect a good score for it.   And after that, I think I should finally do Broken Trident since I had that one claimed for months but haven't gotten around to doing it yet.

[The Red Jaguars]

And speaking of Orange Iguanas episodes, do they have an never ending supply of boring and forgettable episodes or what? I swear that there is only like 5 good Orange Iguana episodes at most. Look at a lot of the remaining Orange Iguana episodes - Zenobia, Gordian Knot, Dead Man's Hand, Golden Stallion, Harriet Tubman, Efoua, Lily-Crested Crown, and Leonardo Da Vinci. There are probably some I am missing we didn't cover yet. The only good ones left that are not covered are Blue Pearl and Useless Map to an extent.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Well, you wanted to do Blue Pearl when you started this whole thread in the first place. Maybe you should cover that one next. And yeah, the Orange Iguanas have utterly BORING episodes. The only episodes from the Iguanas that I like are Blue Pearl, Sir Gawain, Atocha, Nostradmus, Dolley Madison, and maybe Melted Head. The rest are forgettable to absolutely terrible. But yeah, Leonardo Da Vinci is an okay episode, though I don't expect it to rank any higher than mid 5 range.

You're also right about the Pytheas team being faster than the Bent Shaving Pan team too. Though Damien had much more time left on the clock than Brian did. But Brittany made MUCH better progress than Irish did in her time in the temple. As slow as Brittany and Damien were, even they were faster than Irish and Brian. Either way, I can't wait for your episode review on Annie Oakley. That's definitely a breath of fresh air compared to Bent Shaving Pan. Chandra and Nick dominated every round and almost won. If only Chandra didn't take that elevator.

[The Red Jaguars]

Despite taking the elevator in the Annie Oakley run, Chandra did a really good job in the temple. She made it one room away with a path that wasn't easy. She would've definitely saved time if she didn't use that elevator. But the loss was very exciting and at least Nick made it to where Chandra was taken out too. The whole episode was great too and it set a nice preview for "Billy the Kid". And of course, both episodes share the PP Pwnage theme.  These two wins would've been special if the Annie Oakley team would've won. But it was till a great episode. 

And yeah, the Orange Iguana episodes you listed were the only ones I liked too. Also, Mush Pot Hat is pretty good too. The rest though are forgettable or bad.

[The Red Jaguars]

And for reference, it looks like we completed the entire production day for "Bent Shaving Pan" episodes. Like I did with the "Emiliano Zapata" day, I will post their scores for each episode and average them together:

Snow Cone: 3.2
Upside-Down Compass: 6.0
Bent Shaving Pan: 4.8
Marble Armrest: 4.2
Average score: 4.55

Is this the worst production day on the whole show or what? This production day couldn't even break a 5 average. The only good episode that day was "Upside-Down Compass", all of the other three episodes are terrible. The only production day that might rank this low is the Lost Hammer/Golden Cricket Cage/Golden Ship/Map to the Lost Gold Mine day due to the first 3 episodes being extremely terrible. But then again, Map to the Lost Gold Mine will have a high enough score to save this production from being complete crap. 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

I can see Golden Ship ranking in the low 5 range. While that episode was pretty much unexciting, it wasn't THAT bad. But yeah, Lost Gold Mine will probably save the Cricket Cage/Lost Hammer day from being a complete debacle. But yeah, an average of 4.55 for Henry Hudson's filming day is just pathetic. It was a terrible filming day. The only remotely watchable episode is Henry Hudson, and even that episode was just average. Also, if you're looking to complete more production days, here's some episodes that only need one more to be reviewed:

The Star of Sultan Saladin (S1L3)
The Lost Logbooks of Magellan (S1L4)
The Imperial Purple Robe of Empress Theodora (Stone Head's filming day)
The Priceless Portrait of the Polynesian Girl (Icarus' filming day)
The Dried Apple Half of William Tell (Discarded Seal's filming day)

Out of those episodes, the only one I can do (that I have screencapped) is Dried Apple Half. Plus, I've already ranked the rest of the episodes on "impossible layout" day. Though I've only seen the full episode to Dried Apple Half three times at most, so I wouldn't really remember much about it. But for my next post in this thread, I'm reviewing Leonardo Da Vinci. That review should be up by tonight.