The 100 Worst Songs of All Time

[Purple Parrots Fan]

We're getting closer and closer to #1. Is it me, or is this list going by fast?

Never heard much of #30 actually, so can't really comment on that.

Never cared about #29 either, I find the song overrated.

I knew #28 was gonna make the list, and it did rightfully so. I hate this song with a passion.

Don't know #27, no comment.

Oh man, the Macarena. It's the "Gangnam Style" of 1996, but more tolerable. I still like the song though, but it is sort of overrated.

I like #25, but the lyrics are kind of lame. It's not too much different from other cheerleading anthems like "Mickey" really.

I like #24 too, but it's not the absolute best song in the world.

I knew MmmBop was gonna make this list. It's an okay song, but it's not THAT great. It's way overrated, and I don't even know what MmmBop is supposed to mean. They did have another song in 2000 called "This Time Around." Where they're older and their voices have dropped. It's actually.... a really good song. MUCH more underrated than MmmBop, that's for sure.

Dear god Soulja Boy.... easily the most overplayed song of 2007. And the dance to it is equally as dumb. The song is not entirely too bad, but it's way overrated. But like you said, Soulja Boy has WAY worse stuff. I think I know which other "bad" song you're referring too, but I won't spoil it.

Aw I like "Blue Da Ba Dee." Sure, the lyrics are nonsensical and it's way autotuned. But the song is so catchy I can't not like it.

[The Red Jaguars]

Yeah, this list went by fast. But it has been a good read.

I agree with you 110% about Tik Tok. The fact that the radio stations where I live play this garbage everyday has made me grown to hate it. Waking up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? What the hell is that suppose to mean? How do you know how P. Diddy feels like in the morning? 

And I don't mind the Macarena. I remember we use to dance to this all the time in gym class in elementary school. It does bring back good memories. And yes, this song is similar to Gangnam Style. I guess the little kids of today will look back at Gangnam Style and think of the same thing?

I never really mind #25 at all. I like Gwen Stefani's songs, but there is nothing that really bothers me about it.

And I agree with you 110% about Soulja Boy. This song was the most overplayed song during my senior year of high school. We literally played this at our pep rally. And Soulja Boy was born in the same month as me and the same age as me, yet he makes millions of dollars.

[The Ancient Warrior]

The list is definitely getting a lot more focused now.  Can't say there's many I disagree with out of this set, although "Axel F" wasn't too bad the first time around.  It only took repetition for it to become a headache.

I also remember learning to dance the Macarena in grade school, and that was a couple years AFTER it peaked.  That song was just a lot more prevalent than I ever could've imagined at the time, hahah.  As far as I can guess, though, they're probably going to start teach kids the Gangnam Style dance in a couple years...

Limp Bizkit's definitely been a big laughing stock in the rock world, but there's almost something self-parodying about them too.  But not only do they have better songs than that if you look hard enough, I'm really more of a fan of the guitarist Wes Borland than the entire band.  Try checking out his side project, Black Light Burns.

For me, the worst songs out of this part are "TiK ToK," "MMMBop" and "Soulja Boy." I guess only agreeing with the list halfway has its benefits, namely that it makes it harder to predict what #1 will be!

[Purple Parrots Fan]

I never learned the dance to Macarena, but in Elementary School, whenever we had gym class, the teacher would always put it on. As well as other techno/dance songs that were popular at the time. And yes, I wouldn't be surprised if they taught kids Gangnam Style in a few years.

[The Red Jaguars]

I never learned the dance to Macarena, but in Elementary School, whenever we had gym class, the teacher would always put it on. As well as other techno/dance songs that were popular at the time. And yes, I wouldn't be surprised if they taught kids Gangnam Style in a few years.

But my Elementary School taught the Macarena and dance class too. I still remember some of the dance moves with it. Looking back now, we all looked silly dancing to that. But it still brings back good memories. Although Gangnam Style is a little over-the-top. I wonder if they would really teach this in school

[The Bandit King]

Please resist the urge to kill yourself just a little longer!  We only have 20 songs to go!

#20: “Who Let the Dogs Out” – Baha Men
Released: 2000
Peak Position: #40


At the turn of the millennium, an English-born group of Bahamian musicians known simply as the Baha Men released their only hit, and just barely made it to the Top 40 in the U.S. with it.  The song won a Grammy for Best Dance Recording in 2001, but while it was mildly catchy when it was first introduced, it quickly wore out its welcome.  It seemed like the song was played on every damn radio station in America, and was featured in more sappy kids’ movies than I can mention here.  And the lyrics?  Don’t even get me started:

Say, a doggy is nuttin’ if he don’t have a bone
All doggy, hold ya’ bone, all doggy, hold it
A doggy is nuttin’ if he don’t have a bone
All doggy, hold ya’ bone, all doggy, hold it

And of course, you all know the insanely repetitive chorus, which to this day, I’m trying to figure out the meaning of.  Thankfully, the fad died out eventually, and the song is just a very annoying memory.  The Baha Men never had another big hit, although they did go on to sing songs for motion pictures, and their song “Move It Like This” was a modest success in Canada and the U.K.  As long as they stay over there and never grace American music again, I’m good with whatever they do.





#19: “The Best of Both Worlds” – Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana
Released: 2006
Peak Position: #92


No artist on this countdown will appear more than twice, but you can bet your bottom dollar that Miley Cyrus is one of the prime contenders to do just that.  In 2006, Miley released this song, which became the theme to her television series Hannah Montana and introduced her to the music industry.  But looking at this confusing ditty, maybe it would have been better if Billy Ray Cyrus had saved his seed.  Not only does this song have a very annoying backbeat and delivery, its concept is just…weird:

You go the movie premieres (is that Orlando Bloom?)
Hear your songs on the radio
Livin’ two lives is a little weird
But school’s cool ‘cause nobody knows

Excuse me?  You want to be a big star, yet you still want to be an ordinary person?  Last I checked, you can’t be both, princess!  If you sign your life away to Hollywood, you can just kiss your private life goodbye.  Still, this song is the theme to a Disney series, and they aren’t known for making much sense anyway.  But when you put together Miley’s whiny vocals, stroke-causing beat, and the fact that the average listener isn’t going to get the meaning of the lyrics at ALL, and this merits the song a fairly high place on this list.  Oh, and that stupid “alter ego” crap?  It didn’t work for Garth Brooks, and it doesn’t work for Miley either.





#18: “Surfin’ Bird” – Trashmen
Released: 1963
Peak Position: #4


This song is the oldest in the countdown, having been released in the fall of 1963 by “surf rock” group The Trashmen.  Combining two older R&B songs by The Rivingtons called “Papa Oom Mow Mow” and “The Bird’s the Word”, the song made it to #4 on the American charts, and in 2009, after a gap of nearly 40 years, charted for the first time in Great Britain.  I can’t blame them for being slow to accept this song over in Jolly Old England, though—the repetition in this song is so fucking annoying, it makes you want to put a gun to your head after the first fifteen seconds of hearing it:

Well everybody’s heard about the bird
B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, bird’s the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, bird’s the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word

So damn annoying.  To boot, there’s that period in the song where the lead singer sounds like he’s having a seizure in the background, then breaks in “papa-oom-mow-mow” with equally irritating idiocy.  The following year, the infamous British Invasion hit American soil, and bands like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Cream, The Dave Clark Five and many others served to “erase” this tune from America’s psyche.  It’s songs like this one that go to show you that even if a song was recorded in a decade when some of the best music of all time was released, it can still be mind-wrenchingly bad.





#17: “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” – Bobby McFerrin
Released: 1988
Peak Position: #1


In the late 1980’s, reggae producer Bobby McFerrin released this song, which due to its catchiness and a successful music video featuring Robin Williams, reached the #1 position on the Charts, the first a cappella song to do so.  In fact, McFerrin’s voice is the only instrument on the record.  While I applaud McFerrin for his talent in making a single this interesting, there’s no getting away from the fact that the song is annoying enough to make you want to punch somebody.  Hell, look at these lyrics and tell me they’re not ironic:

Ain’t got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy
The landlord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry, be happy

“Be happy”?  The landlord’s throwing me out of my damn house—how the hell can I be happy?  In addition to the sappy lyrics and the fact that Bobby can’t carry a tune in a bucket, some people even incorrectly reference this song’s authorship to Bob Marley (in actuality, McFerrin wrote it), which further adds insult to injury.  We thought we’d gotten away from this song (McFerrin included—he’s said to have hated the song), but then it was used in several animated films and in an electronic singing fish, bringing it back to our conscious minds!  Some songs are just annoying no matter how you slice it, and this is one of them.





#16: “Stupid Hoe” – Nicki Minaj
Released: 2011
Peak Position: #59


Released in 2011 off Nicki Minaj’s second album Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, this song was re-worked as “Stupid Stupid” for radio airplay.  It met with generally negative reviews due to being “weak”, “aggressive”, “loud” and “obnoxious”.  I definitely agree, but let’s add a few adjectives to that list.  How about “sophomoric”, “inane”, “debilitating”, and “a disgrace to any music that’s ever been recorded”?  Not only is the beat incredibly painful to listen to, the lyrics are downright stupid:

Look Bubbles go back to your habitat
M.J. gone and I ain’t having that
How you gon’ be the stunt double to the nigga monkey
Top of that I’m in the Phantom looking hella chonky

Did you just take a shot at Michael Jackson’s pet monkey?  How low will you stoop?  If this wasn’t bad enough, Minaj also blasts Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston and Lil’ Kim.  I hate glad-handling celebrities as much as the next guy, but you don’t have to write a damn song about them!  And the chorus—oh God, the chorus.  If I hear the words “Stupid Hoe” one more time, I’ll go crazy!  This is easily the worst song Nicki Minaj has done so far.  Not that she’s done anything good, mind you.





#15: “Rockstar” – Nickelback
Released: 2005
Peak Position: #6


I used to like Nickelback.  I mean, I REALLY used to like Nickelback.  I consider their song “How You Remind Me” one of the best songs from around the turn of the millennium.  But once they began to stray away from pure rock music and began to embrace a more “pop” sound, they began to suck.  And this song was the beginning of said suckiness.  In its initial release, it never even reached the Top 40, but upon re-release, got up to #6, becoming one of Nickelback’s more popular hits.  However, the song is nothing but a steaming pile of unwashed garbage that glorifies the stereotypical “rockstar” life:

Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses, drivin’ fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny ‘cause we just won’t eat

Look, I know this song was meant as an homage to earlier odes to the rocker lifestyle (Joe Walsh’s “Life’s Been Good” is a classic example), but in this context, it just comes off as arrogant and uninspired.  Couple that with several stale insertions of lines from ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and a ridiculously slow backbeat and you’ve got the makings of by far the worst song Nickelback ever did.  Thankfully, Nickelback became a slightly “harder” rock band not long after releasing this, so I can’t stay mad at my boys from Canada.





#14: “Gettin’ Jiggy wit’ It” – Will Smith
Released: 1998
Peak Position: #1


While it’s no reflection on his talent, this is the second song Will Smith has on this countdown, and man, has it had a bad impact on popular culture.  Released as the main track off his debut solo album, the former Fresh Prince spent three weeks at the top of the Billboard charts with this song.  The single was fairly innocent at the time, with a decent beat and lyrics that are fair enough to listen to:

On your mark ready set let’s go
Dance floor pro I know you know
I go psycho when my new joint hit
Just can’t sit
Gotta get jiggy wit’ it

Easy enough to listen to, right?  So why, you ask, is this song on the countdown?  Well, perhaps the biggest reason this song scores so high is because Will gave the word “jiggy” to the English language.  The word was used so damn much in the late ‘90s and early 2000’s, you couldn’t get away from it.  Hell, I was a kid in the late ‘90s, and I STILL don’t know what the hell “jiggy” means.  It either has to do with dancing or sex, I’m sure; I’m not certain which one…but I digress.  This song is literally a walking infarction of ‘90s culture, and for that I condemn it to a spot on my countdown.  Are you jiggy with that?





#13: “With Arms Wide Open” – Creed
Released: 2000
Peak Position: #1


And here’s yet another band with two songs on the list.  Released in 2000 by Creed after lead singer Scott Stapp found out he was going to be a father, the song topped the Mainstream Rock Charts for four weeks, and won a Grammy for Best Rock Song in 2001.  The premise of the song is simple enough—I mean, it’s kind of touching for a guy to write a song about being a father for the first time, right?  What I don’t get is how pompous and over-the-top this song turned out, and it certainly is reflected in the lyrics:

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life

Arrogant.  Pompous.  Absolutely self-aggrandizing.  Plus, rhyming “ready” with “be” and “side” with “life” seems kind of lazy to me.  Couple this with the sappy, mind-numbing background music and the fact that Scott Stapp totally stole Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam’s voice, and you have a horrible song.  This is easily the worst “rock” song I have ever heard, and I’m sure many of you out there will agree with me.






#12: “Party Rock Anthem” – LMFAO
Released: 2011
Peak Position: #1


You knew this one was coming, right?  In 2011, techno-pop group LMFAO released this song as the lead single from their second album Sorry for Party Rocking (how nice of them to apologize in advance).  The song spent six weeks at #1 and 68 weeks on the Hot 100, and also became the second-biggest selling song in Australia (behind only Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind”).  But despite its successes, this is an epically bad song.  The background music sounds like nails on a chalkboard, the lead singer can’t carry a tune to save his life, and the lyrics are absolutely horrendous:

Yo, I'm runnin' through these ho's like Drano
I got that devilish flow, rock 'n' roll, no halo
We party rock, yeah, that's the crew that I'm reppin'
On the rise to the top, no lead in our zeppelin, hey

Did you just compare yourself to drain cleaner?  Plus, “no lead in our zeppelin”?  You have officially lost all status of a musical act with that line right there, my friend.  I’m surprised Robert Plant and Jimmy Page haven’t come to each band member’s house and kicked them in their testicles so they can’t have children.  Songs like this should never, ever, EVER see the light of day, but the sad fact is that many of them DO, and music critics will praise them to the moon.  It makes me sick that we’ve gone from the sheer brilliance Led Zeppelin to crap like this in only forty years, and I’m almost afraid to see what music from the next forty years will turn out like.





#11: “Yahhh!” – Soulja Boy
Released: 2007
Peak Position: #48


I promised another Soulja Boy song on this list, and now I plan to deliver.  Released on his album Souljaboytellem.com, this song, which features background singer Arab, made it up to #48 on the Billboard charts and #3 in New Zealand (its highest position).  And looking at how dumb and disgustingly idiotic this song is, it’s no wonder it only made it to the top 10 in one country worldwide.  The background beat sounds like two hippos copulating, and the lyrics are so incoherent they might as well have been thrown together at the last minute:

Hey Soulja Boy can I yahhh trick yahhh!
Yo Arab I really like yahhh trick yahhh!
Colli Park Music ahh!
Hey man I was just wondering can I get a yahhh yahhh trick!

What in the blue hell is “trick yahhh”?  They NEVER TELL US through the course of the entire song!  I can’t believe a song like this one was even written, let alone released.  Thankfully, the human race showed that at least some of us have a brain in our skulls when it comes to this song—it was almost unanimously panned by music critics, one of whom called it “more irritating than a life’s supply of itching powder”.  Another one said it was a legitimate contender for the “dumbest song ever recorded”.  While it doesn’t top my list, it certainly scores very high in the annoyance factor, and is the highest-ranking rap song on the countdown.  Still, we have ten more songs that are worse than this one.  Don’t think that’s possible?  You just wait…

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Dang, that's some awful stuff right there.

• Especially Baha Men, GOOD LORD was that overplayed when it first came out. I'm pretty sure they had more songs, but they were never popular. And I never liked "Move It Like This" from them either. So boring and repetitive.
• I've never actually heard the Hannah Montana theme song before. But then again, I've never watched the show, so I guess I'm not missing anything.
• I've never heard #18, but the lyrics alone are enough to tell me the song sucks.
• I completely disagree with is "Don't Worry, Be Happy." Sure, the lyrics are kind of dumb, but I love that song.
• Wow, Nicki Minaj made a low blow remark about Michael Jackson's monkey? How classy, as well as her bashing towards everyone else. Though more than half of them probably deserve it. And what kind of song is "Stupid Hoe?" Though "Stupid Stupid" sounds 10 times worse. Oh well, it barely cracked Top 60, so I guess some people still have some sense.
• "Rockstar" was an okay song at first, but it got way overplayed. I agree about the lyrics too, they're just over glamorizing the whole "OMG I'M IH HUGE STAR N I GET TO PARTAY N B MR. KOOL!!!!" Nickelback is an okay group, but not for this song. And I never liked "How You Remind Me" either. I always thought that song was such a snooze, even when it first came out.
• "Gettin' Jiggy With It" is an okay song, but it gets old fast. and I have no idea what "Jiggy" means either.
• I disagree with "With Arms Wide Open." I think it's a great song, but I sort of agree about the lyrics. The guy singing it just sounds like a Pearl Jam wannabe. Plus, half the lyrics are hard to understand. Like the opening line says "Well I just heard...." It honestly sounds like he's saying "Well I jus' hurled...." I'm not even kidding you. And, the "We've creative life" part sounds like "We created lanes." And those lyrical misunderstandings right there kind of ruin the song a little bit.
• AGREE about "Party Rock Anthem." It is one of the worst songs I have ever heard in my life. When you have a lyric that says "No lead in our zepplin...." you've just lost all and any credibility you ever had. Like they had much to begin with. Yet another example of a song that condones getting partying 24/7. And I agree with your notion that if this is what people call great music today, imagine what it will be like in 40 years. O_O
• And while I haven't actually heard #11 before, just by looking at the lyrics, there's a reason it was never popular in the US. Good to know the human race has some common sense and hated this song too, like you said. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to say "Yahhh trick yahh" in every other line? Talk about your incoherent and unintelligible crap. This song should never have been conceived, period.

Overall, I can't wait until your Top 10. I think I can guess which songs will actually make the list coming up. But, I won't spoil it for you.

[The Bandit King]

Well, we’ve seen 90 songs that, in my opinion at least, are among the worst of all time.  But before we get to the Top 10, I’d like to present you guys with a little treat.  In researching this list, I’ve come across numerous lists of a similar nature from all over the Internet (most notably the ones by Blender magazine in 2007 and AOL Radio in 2010).  And while they’ve offered me some good insight on bad music, there are some songs that make these lists that I frankly don’t agree should be grouped in with the worst songs ever written.  So now, I’d like to present you all with this: 10 songs that made other people’s lists, but don’t make mine for some reason (I’ll explain why in the article).  These are in alphabetical order, as they’re unranked.  Please keep in mind that I DON’T think any of these songs are bad—other people made the lists that included them.  In fact, I find some of them pretty damn good.  That being said, let us begin:





“Broken Wings” – Mr. Mister
Released: 1985
Peak Position: #1


Session musicians Richard Page and Steve George had a band in the late ‘70s called The Pages, but it was when they formed Mr. Mister in 1982 that they finally achieved fame.  And three years later, this song from their second album became their first #1 hit.  When Blender Magazine made their list of the “50 most awesomely bad songs”, “Broken Wings” was #19 on the list.  However, this song shouldn’t have made it just because it’s been tainted by age.  I’ll admit that this song has some rather straining vocals by Page, and several of the lyrics don’t sound that resonant—some are kind of weak:

So take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in

Cliché?  Maybe.  But I can’t argue with this song’s really deep bass line, screeching guitars, and gradual buildup that eventually culminates in a strong, kick-ass resonation.  Not to mention that Richard Page has some damn good pipes.  This is one of those songs on everybody’s ‘80s mix-tapes, and it’s definitely not worthy of being on a list of the worst of all time.





“Cherry Pie” – Warrant
Released: 1990
Peak Position: #10


In 1990, hard rock band Warrant released this song off their album of the same name.  It became the band’s signature song, and was one of only two songs of theirs to make it to the Top 10 on the charts (1988’s “Heaven” was the other).  The music video for the song was basically a four-minute long commercial for sex, featuring a scantily clad woman dancing throughout the video.  But despite all the song’s successes, it was ranked on AOL Radio’s list of 100 worst songs at #89, citing “A lot of people missed this song’s subtle commentary on outdated gender roles. Well, that’s because there weren’t any”.  I fail to see the humor, AOL Radio.  Sure, this song is quite raunchy, but then again, you should expect that from an ‘80s band like Warrant:

Swingin’ in the living room, swingin’ in the kitchen
Most folks don’t, ‘cause they’re too busy bitchin’
Swingin’ in there ‘cause she wanted me to feed her
So I mixed up the batter, and she licked the beaters

I have absolutely nothing against songs about sex, and if you look past the lyrics, you’d be hard-pressed to find a song with harder-rocking guitar playing than this one.  Sure, maybe it’s politically incorrect, but that’s the problem with a lot of the world today anyhow.  It’s not meant to be Shakespeare—it’s hard rock to the core, and that’s what makes this song so good.





“Ebony and Ivory” – Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder
Released: 1982
Peak Position: #1


After The Beatles broke up in 1970, Paul McCartney invoked on an amazing solo career, and that career showed no signs of stopping in 1982, when he teamed up with Motown superstar Stevie Wonder to record this song, an ode to racial harmony, which reached #1.  Yet when Blender Magazine ranked its worst songs, this one was #10.  Why?  They cited the fact that McCartney did most of the singing and Wonder got lost in translation, and also that it sounded “sappy”.  But dissing a song about racial equality, of all things?  That’s a tad harsh.  Granted, the song is a tad sappy, and the lyrics seem a bit over-the-top at times:

We all know that people are the same wherever you go
There is good and bad in everyone
We learn to live and we learn to give
Each other what we need to survive

The lyrics may be a little stale, but this is a very good song, even for McCartney, who has produced some great stuff in his lifetime.  Without question, this song has stood the test of time as one of the most poignant and heartfelt of the ‘80s, and even though it isn’t my cup of tea, it’s a pleasant listening experience.  Also, the parody that Joe Piscopo and Eddie Murphy did of this song on SNL will live in infamy.  Everybody sing: You are blind as a bat and I have sight…





“Everybody Have Fun Tonight” – Wang Chung
Released: 1986
Peak Position: #2


In 1980, London trio Wang Chung released their first recording in their native England, and six years later, they were belting out tunes on American radio, such as this song, their biggest hit on the U.S. charts.  Blender Magazine dubbed this tune the #3 worst song in history on their list, but in my opinion, it’s undoubtedly better than they thought it was.  The song just has this pick-you-up quality to it that makes it instantly likable and quite catchy.  The lyrics are a bit choppy, but that’s abated to an extent by the background music, and the signature catchphrase that the song inspired is absolutely priceless:

Everybody have fun tonight (everybody have fun tonight)
Everybody Wang Chung tonight (everybody have fun tonight)

Granted, I’ll admit that the band’s name is stupid (sounds like something you do by yourself while watching dirty movies), but a song like this one will definitely go down as one of the best “party songs” of all time.  Just try to refrain yourself from bobbing your head back and forth to the beat and you’ll see what I mean.  Still, I’ll bet that music video caused more than a few seizures…





“Follow Me” – Uncle Kracker
Released: 2001
Peak Position: #5


A protégé of Kid Rock, Matthew “Uncle Kracker” Shafer released his debut single in early 2001, a slow-moving adult contemporary hit that remains to this day his biggest hit on the Pop charts.  Blender Magazine dubbed this song the 43rd worst of all time, though, and at first glance, it seems to fit the bill.  After all, with several people claiming the song is about extramarital sex and drug abuse, wouldn’t it be considered a bad song too?  Take a look yourself:

You don’t know how you met me, you don’t know why
You can’t turn around and say goodbye
All I know is when I’m with you, I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea

A rather languid song, I can’t deny.  And the lyrics are pretty damning.  Still, the song has a pretty great opening acoustic lick, and the poignant sound of the song hearkens back to the early ‘90s’ soft rock songs.  To boot, Kracker is actually a pretty good singer.  While I’m by no means a fan of this song, saying it’s among the worst of all time is a pretty rash assumption.  Plus, Kracker’s version of “Drift Away” is a damn good song, so there’s that, too.





“My Heart Will Go On” – Celine Dion
Released: 1998
Peak Position: #1


In December 1997, James Cameron’s Titanic opened in theaters, and went on to become the highest-grossing film of all time at that point (it, of course, has since been passed by Avatar, another Cameron creation).  The soundtrack from the movie was at the top of the Album charts for two months and sold over 10 million copies, primarily due to the success of this song.  This is a song many people love to hate (Blender Magazine included, who ranked the song at #50), primarily because of its cheesiness and over-the-top delivery.  But is it really among the worst of all time?  I say no:

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Over-the-top?  Maybe.  Schmaltzy?  Without a doubt.  But this song’s delivery is very powerful, it’s well-written, well-composed, and Celine’s voice just cements the song’s appeal.  Some people might hate this song just to say they hate it, which is a shame.  I’ll fully admit if you tied me down and made me listen to the song nonstop for several hours, I’d eventually go insane.  However, I wouldn’t go insane as quickly as if you played, say, “You’re the Inspiration”.  This song is not countdown material, so it’s safe from me.





“The Final Countdown” – Europe
Released: 1986
Peak Position: #8


Born in Sweden, progressive-rock band Europe released this song across the Atlantic, which made it to #18 on the Mainstream Rock charts and #8 on the Billboard charts.  Well-known as the theme from the movie Rocky IV, the song has become an anthem of sorts for hard-rocking ‘80s synthesizer music.  But Blender Magazine still ranked this song as their #27 worst song of all time, and I can’t fathom why.  For one thing, this song is beautifully written:

We’re heading for Venus, and still we stand tall
‘Cause maybe they’ve seen us and welcome us all
With so many light years to go and things to be found
I’m sure that we’ll all miss her so
It’s the final countdown

I just can’t see why Blender chose this song.  Heck, it’s not my favorite song, but I still appreciate it for what it is: good, meaty, pretentious 1980’s hair rock.  The keyboard playing on this song is also incredible, and the lyrics, as previously mentioned, are nothing short of being an epic poem.  This song is rock ‘n roll to the core, and I suppose I’ll never understand why people hate it so much.





“The Heart of Rock and Roll” – Huey Lewis & the News
Released: 1984
Peak Position: #6


In 1984, Huey Lewis and the News released their critically acclaimed album Sports.  In addition to great tracks like “Heart and Soul” and “I Want a New Drug”, this was one of the more popular tracks on it, reaching #6 on the Pop charts.  Yet Blender Magazine dubbed this tune the sixth worst song in history!  Their reasoning?  “A celebration of rock music…by a band seemingly intent on destroying it”.  Holy shit…there is no reason this song should even be on the list, let alone the top 10, outranking “Barbie Girl” and “Ice Ice Baby”, of all things.  This is a great 1980’s song that is well-written, well-delivered, and so cheeky you just can’t help but like it:

New York, New York, is everything they say
Ain’t no place that I’d rather be
Where else can you do half a million things
All at a quarter to three

To top it off, Huey Lewis has always been one of my favorite singers.  He’s just got this raw, unadulterated grit to his voice that I love.  And “Heart of Rock and Roll”, which opens and closes with heartbeat sound effects, is one of my guilty pleasures.





“Two Princes” – Spin Doctors
Released: 1993
Peak Position: #7


Formed in New York in 1988, the Spin Doctors released their first album in 1991, and two years later, had their first Top 10 hit with this song.  Blender Magazine apparently didn’t find the appeal in the song, though, and ranked it at #21 of their worst songs of all time.  Now, some contemporary/alternative rock songs like “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” and “Your Body is a Wonderland” belong on a "worst songs" list, but if there’s any song from that genre that should be excluded, it’s this one.  Not to mention that the song is a witty and accurate portrayal of class struggles, with a poor man begging a girl to choose him over a rich man:

Marry him or marry me,
I'm the one that loves you baby can't you see
I ain't got no future or a family tree,
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be

The Spin Doctors may be more simplistic than other rock bands, I’ll give ‘em that.  But a song as honestly sung and cleverly written as this one, their magnum opus, just doesn’t belong on a “worst songs” list.  The scatting part I could do without, though…





“We Didn’t Start the Fire” – Billy Joel
Released: 1989
Peak Position: #1


In 1989, the “Piano Man” Billy Joel wrote this song as homage to the past forty years of world history, mentioning everything from Harry Truman to Ho Chi Minh.  The song became his third and final #1 hit, and cemented his status as a rock legend.  However, both Blender Magazine and the AOL Radio blog don’t think too fondly of this song—the song ranks #41 and #42 on their “worst songs” lists, respectively.  But while some might hate it just because it’s basically a string of random events in history set to music, I actually have a soft spot for this song.  Being as big a history buff as I am, I’ve even used it as a study guide at times.  Joel’s voice is the perfect fit for this song, and rather than just being a lesson in American culture, it takes a very bleak turn near the end:

Hypodermics on the shores
China’s under martial law
Rock and roller cola wars
I can’t take it anymore

Powerful stuff right there.  We go from “Give ‘em hell Harry” to an event that changed the way environmentalism was viewed in this country, and Joel just loses it.  I’m not ashamed to say that I really like this song, and it’s definitely one of the better ones Joel has put out.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Yeah, most of those songs aren't bad at all. Maybe some of the songs aren't my favorite, but not bad by any means. Blender magazine (and AOL Radio for that matter) really had no taste whatsoever when it came to music. It makes you wonder what kind of stuff they liked. Oh well, I still enjoyed the VH1 "Awesomely Bad Songs" countdowns. Back when VH1 was worth watching, makes me wonder why they stopped doing those countdowns. They're much more watchable than those Housewife/R&B crap reality shows they're playing today.

[Red Jaguars Fan]

Also, Rolling Stone magazine cannot be trusted if Gangnam Style is in the Top 50 of the year.

[The Bandit King]

Get ready—these songs are the worst of the worst!  Hey, get your fingers out of your ears!  Come on, there’s only ten of ‘em!  Just bite your lip and endure it!  Here goes…





#10: “I Kissed a Girl” – Katy Perry
Released: 2008
Peak Position: #1


In 2008, Katy Perry released her debut album One of the Boys, and this song was the first single released from it.  A song that is credited by some as promoting homosexuality and/or bisexuality, it became the first of six of Perry’s songs to top the Billboard charts.  Now, despite my religious beliefs, I have nothing against gay people as long as they don’t force their lifestyle upon me.  But this song sinks to new lows when it comes to pretty much everything in it.  In addition to the uninspired, Gary Glitter-esque beat that makes you want to hunt down whatever’s making it and shoot it, the lyrics are downright moronic:

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry Chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

Unreal shit right there.  If your boyfriend ever catches you playing lesbian tonsil-hockey with another chick, Katy, he’s bound to do one of two things: dump your sorry ass, or ask to film the both of you so he can pleasure himself to it later.  Plus, “cherry Chapstick”?  All the Chapstick I’ve ever seen in stores has but one taste—nasty!  The lyrics go on to creepily describe various features of girls, such as “porcelain skin” and “red lips”, which would be okay if they were sung by a guy, but since they’re sung by another girl, just come across as downright nasty and freaky.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again—this song set the tone for establishing Katy Perry as a ditzy whore character in the music world, and if she is ever able to live it down, it’ll be a fucking miracle.





#9: “What’s Up?” – 4 Non Blondes
Released: 1993
Peak Position: #14


Formed in 1989 by four women who…er…aren’t blondes, 4 Non Blondes had their first (and only) Top 40 hit in three years later with this ear-sore.  If I can say anything positive about this song, it’s that lead singer Linda Perry actually has a pretty decent voice.  Other than that, every conceivable thing about this song sucks balls.  In addition to the background beat that sounds like something out of a rejected Bob Dylan track, the lyrics are absolutely horrendous:

And I said Heeey-eeeeey-eeeeey-ey-ey
Heeeey-eeeey-eeeeey
I said hey, what’s going on

Somebody please make it stop!  The lyrics are whiny, uninspired, and underwritten, plus the lead girl is trying way too hard to be a grunge singer.  Plus, the words “What’s Up” are NEVER USED in the lyrics—instead, they say “what’s going on”.  In fact, that was going to be the title of the song originally, but they changed it to avoid confusion with the Marvin Gaye song of the same name.  Uh…last I checked, songs can have the same title!  One year after this song was released, lead singer Linda Perry left, and the band went kaput.  But they still left this steaming pile of garbage for our listening displeasure, and crap like that can never be erased.  Lord knows it would be too hard to track down every single copy of the song.





#8: “Baby” – Justin Bieber
Released: 2010
Peak Position: #5


This song was the lead single off Justin Bieber’s debut album in 2010, and featured a spoken part from established rapper Ludacris.  The song reached #5 on the Pop charts, and up until December 21, 2012, it had the most viewed video on YouTube (PSY’s “Gangnam Style” has since beaten it).  But the fact of the matter remains that even though Bieber tries, he just manages to fall flat on his face in his first foray into “serious” pop music.  Not only does Bieber’s voice sound like a whiny dial-up Internet connection, but the lyrics are uninspired, sophomoric, and utterly boring:

Are we an item?
Girl quit playin'
We're just friends,
What are you sayin'?
Said there's another as you look right in my eyes
My first love, broke my heart for the first time

You’re only 16 years old and you’re upset over a breakup?  Kid, teenagers break up all the time—get over it!  And for the love of God, don’t sing anymore until you get some testosterone in your system!  This song is downright unbearable to listen to, and musical critics have the gall to compare Bieber’s singing to that of a young Michael Jackson?  Give me a fucking break!  Bieber continues to make overrated, shitty bubblegum pop music to this very day, and I can’t wait for the day that he’s considered a has-been “teen star” like Tiffany or those kids in Kriss Kross.  Four more years…four more years…





#7: “Achy Breaky Heart” – Billy Ray Cyrus
Released: 1992
Peak Position: #4


Long before Miley Cyrus was making our ears hurt with her own brand of music, her dad Billy Ray released this song, which was a #1 country hit and #4 pop hit for him, and is said to have kick-started the craze of “line-dancing” nationwide.  But when it’s all said and done, there’s no getting around the fact that this is a truly terrible song.  In addition to essentially uniting the Southern U.S. in dancing in unison to idiotic, overplayed drivel, the lyrics are just painful to listen to:

Don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don’t think it’d understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
It might blow up and kill this man

Now, I don’t hate country music.  My dad plays all the classics like Willie Nelson and Loretta Lynn, and Johnny Cash is one of my favorite musicians of all time, country or otherwise.  But this song is as ludicrous as it gets.  The background music sounds diluted and anesthetized beyond belief, to the point where anything upbeat comes across as depressing, and Billy Ray’s voice is so damn robotic it’s not even funny.  To boot, he practically ripped off Elvis Presley’s “Blue Suede Shoes” with all those “you can tell” lyrics in the song.  Everything about this song is stupid and boring, and the fact that it prompted middle-aged men with a midlife crisis to don oversized belt buckles and cheap, tacky cowboy boots to dance in unison on dirty honky-tonk floors just cements its horribleness all the more.  Somewhere, Elvis is spinning in his grave.





#6: “I’m Too Sexy” – Right Said Fred
Released: 1992
Peak Position: #1


In 1992, British musical trio Right Said Fred released this song from their album Up, which got up to #2 in their native England and topped the charts in America.  And for all intensive purposes, this may be the worst song to ever come from across the Pond.  Its beat is so robotic it might as well be named R2D2, the lead singer is just as mechanical in his delivery, and the lyrics are nothing short of a train wreck:

I’m too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts

Dear God, and you thought “This is Why I’m Hot” was annoying?  This song takes narcissism to a whole new level.  The guy just goes on and on and on and on and on and on about how sexy he is.  Have you seen pictures of these guys?  I’m no expert on male fashion, but I’m willing to bet there are guys whom girls consider far sexier than these clowns.  Believe it or not, Right Said Fred would go on to have SIX MORE Top 40 songs in their native England before calling it quits to become gay rights activists.  So the next time one of your online British acquaintances tries to knock American culture, remind them of this duo.  Chances are they’ll shut up.





#5: “We Built This City” – Starship
Released: 1985
Peak Position: #1


In the ‘60s, they were Jefferson Airplane.  In the ‘70s, they were Jefferson Starship.  But in the ‘80s, they were just Starship, and in 1985, they scored their first (and only) #1 hit with this song from their album Knee Deep in the Hoopla.  In 2005, Blender Magazine named this song the worst song ever recorded, and frankly, I’d say it’s a very good choice for such a dubious honor.  This song just takes all the rock ‘n roll spirit that Jefferson Airplane and Jefferson Starship had in their career and flushed it down the toilet until the septic tank was clogged.  The beat to the song is decent enough, but that’s IT.  So why does this song suck?  Let’s start by looking at some of the lyrics:

Someone’s always playing corporation games
Who cares, they’re always changing corporation names
We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page

The lyrics plainly describe a city based on rock ‘n roll music, but this song is definitely NOT rock ‘n roll.  That line about corporations?  That sound you hear is the pot and the kettle fighting over who’s black.  Plus, there’s that line of “Marconi plays the mamba”.  Who’s Marconi, and why is he playing a poisonous snake?  All the while, loaded on synthesizers, sound effects, and drums that sound conspicuously machine-made do all they can do to make sure this song is extremely painful to listen to.  Yep, we built modern music on rock ‘n roll.  But we didn’t build ANY city on corporate rock ‘n roll, and the people who wrote and recorded this song should have smelled a rat.  Grace Slick, former lead singer for Jefferson Airplane and the only band member to stick with all three incarnations, looks back on this song as the absolute worst thing she ever did in her career.  I couldn’t agree more, Grace…I couldn’t agree more.





#4: “Sexy and I Know It” – LMFAO
Released: 2011
Peak Position: #1


In 2011, electro-pop group LMFAO released their album Sorry for Party Rocking, and this song became the second #1 single from it.  But while it was quite successful in the mainstream, this song is nothing short of horrible.  The beat is a blatant ripoff of Justin Timberlake’s “Sexyback”, the lead singer sounds like he’s underwater, and the lyrics?  Oh, God:

When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly
I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah
This is how I roll, animal print, pants outta control,
It's Redfoo with the big afro
And like Bruce Leroy I got the glow

Okay, first up, don’t flatter yourself, man.  Any girl who actually finds an afro attractive needs to have her head examined.  Second of all, “Bruce Leroy”?  Who the hell is that?  Last time I checked, the guy’s name is BRUCE LEE, damn it!  In addition, the “girl look at that body” is a blatant attempt to copy Eminem’s “Lose It”.  This song is basically just a modern-day version of “I’m Too Sexy”, as if we ever needed one.  To make matters worse, our esteemed President, the leader of the free world, Barack Obama, actually LIKES this song.  That alone should be grounds for impeachment, as far as I’m concerned.





#3: “Barbie Girl” – Aqua
Released: 1997
Peak Position: #7


Perhaps no American toy save the hula hoop has entertained kids of the female persuasion more than Barbie dolls.  And in 1997, Danish-Norwegian dance-pop group Aqua released this tribute to every girl’s favorite plastic blonde, reaching #7 on the Pop charts with it and #1 in the UK.  But there’s no getting around the fact that everything about this song is 100%, Grade A ANNOYING!  The beat is repetitive and tinny enough to wake the dead, the lead singer may have the worst voice of any female in the world save Fran Drescher, and the lyrics are unquestionably stupid:

I’m a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it’s fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

Dear lord, did they have to bring up that Barbie undressing thing?  This song was so bad that Mattel actually sued Aqua for the song’s lyrical content, alleging it had tarnished the reputation of their trademark and impinged on their marketing plan.  They eventually settled out-of-court, but the damage done by this song to countless peoples’ ears worldwide was already done.  Thankfully, this song is only a bad memory now, but every now and again you’ll hear it on the radio and immediately change the station.  Without question, this is the worst song to come out of the ‘90s, and its irritation lives on to this very day.





#2: “Disco Duck” – Rick Dees
Released: 1976
Peak Position: #1


In case you haven’t garnered it from some of the previous songs on this countdown, I HATE DISCO MUSIC.  However, this song pretty much puts them all to shame.  Recorded by former disc jockey Rick Dees, backed by a vocal group known (appropriately) as “His Cast of Idiots”, this song made it to the #1 position in 1976, when disco was at its peak.  Combining disco music with a silly Donald Duck impression, this song is just downright idiotic in its conception and its delivery:

All of a sudden I began to change
I was on the dance floor acting strange
Flapping my arms I began to cluck
Look at me, I'm the disco duck

The song continues in its embarrassment with some bozo (I think it’s Dees, but I’m not positive) doing about the worst Donald Duck imitation I’ve ever heard in my life.  To boot, who’s going to get a woman in a dance club by acting like a damn duck?  If I witnessed that, I’d call the bouncer or something!  Not that I’d ever be in a discotheque, mind you, but I digress.  It’s because of songs like this that people refused to take disco music seriously, and on July 12, 1979, a crate of disco records was blown up during a baseball game in Chicago in a public demonstration known as “Disco Demolition Night”.  Disco music would never recover, and by the early ‘80s, it was dead.  Now, do I think all disco music is bad?  Of course not—some of the stuff from the Bee Gees is passable enough for me to be a pleasant listening experience.  But this horrendous song could be considered the first nail in disco’s coffin, so to speak, and for that, it deserves a spot on this list.





#1: “Friday” – Rebecca Black
Released: 2011
Peak Position: #58


Even though it’s only been around for about a year, in my opinion, this song has already earned the distinction of being the worst of all time.  Teenage “singer” (and I use that term lightly) Rebecca Black released this song in 2011, and the video was up on YouTube before you knew it.  The video soon became the most disliked video in YouTube history, and was eventually taken down due to its excessive dislikes.  The music video was called “the worst video ever made” by comedian Michael J. Nelson, and many others agree, myself included.  Not only is the video bad, the backbeat is almost unbearable, Black’s singing voice sounds like a series of small animals dying, and the lyrics to this song are among the worst ever devised by mankind:

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards
I don't want this weekend to end

Thank you for telling us the days of the week, Rebecca, or I’d have no idea that Saturday comes after Friday.  The rest of the lyrics are equally sophomoric, such as “Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me” and “Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal”.  Now, I love the weekend as much as the next guy, but when it comes to this song, I might as well kiss a pleasant experience in my weekend goodbye.  This song is literally the worst piece of garbage I have ever heard in my entire life, and I think Black must be mentally retarded for thinking that releasing this to the public was ever a good idea.  There’s no question about it in my mind—Rebecca Black’s “Friday” is the worst song of all time.

[Red Jaguars Fan]

What about "It's Thanksgiving"?

[Red Jaguars Fan]

Yes, "Friday" will go down in history as the worst song ever (unless someone somehow manages to do worse, God forbid!)

"Barbie Girl" is just disgustingly awful.

We all know we hate LMFAO.

You mean to tell me that's the "What's Going On" that's been circulating?

"I Kissed A Girl" could not get anymore annoying, could it?

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Heh, I knew "Friday" would be the worst song ever. And it's by far the worst too. The horrible lyrics, the painfully embarrassing music video, and her voice sounds like a mixture between Steve Urkel and Fran Drescher. I know her voice is autotuned and everything, but it still sounds bad nonetheless. And don't get me started on the aforementioned "It's Thanksgiving" either. Man, I think I've blocked the very sound of "Friday" out of my memory. And I intend to keep it that way. -_-

As for the other songs, I agree on all of them except "What's Up?" That happens to be one of my favorite 90s songs of all time. I have nothing negative to say about this song whatsoever. Though the lyrics are depressing, and the chorus is repetitive. And I kind of like "We Built This City" as well. Although the music video for it was pretty bad. And I had no idea Rick Dees even had a song. XD If it's about a duck, and it's a disco song, I know that no good can come from it. He should just stick to his "Weeekly Top Fouuuuuurty" countdowns, which I'm pretty sure he has.

Overall, great list and good run through them all. I wonder what big list will be come up with next?

[PurpleParrot4Life]

To my understanding, "Friday" was written for Rebecca Black with the intention that be would be so bad that it would go viral and help to pay for a college tuition.

And since it is similar to "Friday," I'm surprised there was no mention of the viral youtube.com music video and "song" (I'm using the term very loosely) entitled "Hot Problems."