LOTHT: Renewed EP: The Useless Treasure of the Viking Chief

[lothtfan]

This is an episode of my project, LOTHT: Renewed. If you have questions or complaints, go to the center of it all:

http://phantomsden.6.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=1747

Season 1, Episode 1: The Useless Treasure of The Viking Chief

[The camera maneuvers thru a jungle, and then stops at Olmec.]
>>Olmec: Legends of The Hidden Temple!
[The camera twists its way thru the Temple, showing the temple rooms]
>>Olmec: With Your guide, Kirk Fogg! And here he is now!
[Kirk comes in thru the temple stairs]
>>Kirk: Thank you! Thank you very much! Thank you, Olmec! Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple. The rooms are filled with lots of treasures that're protected by mysterious Mayan temple guards. Only Olmec knows about each of the treasures in his Temple. Which one are gonna hear about today?
>>Olmec: The legend of the Useless Treasure of the Viking Chief.
>> Kirk: Oh! The Useless Treasure of the Viking Chief! Well, the legend is set, and one of these 6 teams will have a chance to retrieve the treasure...
[camera panes to each of the teams in order]
>> Kirk: Will it be...
The Red Jaguars? [the blond boy & the dark-haired girl applaud along]
The Blue Barracudas? [the brown haired boy & the dirty blond girl applaud along]
The Green Monkeys? [the black boy & the sandy-haired girl applaud along]
The Orange Iguanas? [the dark-haired boy & the brunette girl applaud along]
The Purple Parrots? [the blond boy & the brown-haired girl applaud along]
or The Silver Sankes? [the strawberry-blond boy & the dark-haired girl applaud along]

>>Kirk: They're gonna have to pass thru some pretty tough, physical and mental tests, and in the end, only one team will have the right to enter Olmec's Temple. But 1st, they must cross the Moat, and Olmec's gonna tell 'em how they have to do it today.
>>Olmec: Before you hang the remains of an ancient columnnade. When Kirk gives the signal, both of you must grab onto the first platform and swing to the next one. Then, continue your way across the Moat. If either of you falls, leaves one player on the previous platform, or if a knee touches the platform, you must both go back and start again. When you have reached the other side, jump off, run over and hit the gong!
[Kirk rings the Silver Snakes' gong]
>>Olmec: The 1st 4 teams to ring their gongs will go on to the next round!
>>Kirk: Alright! Teams, are you ready?
>>Teams: YEAH!!!!
>>Kirk: Olmec, are you ready?
>>Olmec: This rock is ready to roll!
>>Kirk: Okay, teams! On your mark, get set, GO!!!
[The teams all swing onto the first platform, Green & Blue take the lead, while the 1st players on the Red Jaguars & Orange Iguanas are having more trouble, Purple falls in and is sent back, Silver gets onto the last one and they jump off and ring their gong, while the Blue Barracuda girl touches the platform with her knee and is sent back, Green finishes and rings in 2nd, Red & Orange swing onto the last one, while Purple is getting to the 3rd one, Orange comes off and rings their gong next, Blue gets to the last one and jumps off and rings their gong last]
>>Kirk: That's it! We have our 4 teams right here! Silver Snakes, did a killer job, they kept it steady and accurate all the way! Goin' onto the Steps of Knowledge are the Silver Snakes! And the Orange Iguanas! And the Green Monkeys! And the Blue Barracudas! The Purple Parrots & the Red Jaguars gave it a great effort, too. They're not going away empty-handed, we've got a great gift for 'em, and here's what it is!
[Ray, Alexa, Marty & Kimberly will be getting a $100 savings bond for Trix cereal.]

[lothtfan]

[The teams are all standing at the top of the Steps of Knowledge]
>>Kirk: As we continue our quest, it's now time for Olmec to tell us about this Useless Treasure of The Viking Chief. But teams, pay attention 'cause your knowledge of the legend can bring you a step closer to the Temple.

>>Olmec: One of the most famous kings in all of Europe was Canute IV of Denmark. When harold III died, Canute succeeded him and married Adela. He also had pretty bad ambitions, one of which included trying to change the religions of the Vikings. One day, in 1086, Canute and his subjects were hiding from rebels in the church when they stormed in. The Viking chief marched up to him and threatened, "You've desecrated the sancitity of the Vikings, and you will pay a bad price!" Canute cried, " I'm sorry! I did not know it was so important to ya! Please don't kill me!" The chief apologized and gave him his most precious treasure. But, in the end, the rebels all killed the king and his subjects, and the treasure wound up in the Temple! Your task is to find the Useless Treasure of the Viking Chief and bring it back here!
[camera fades back to Kirk]
>>Kirk: Thanks, Olmec. So, tell us... Where's the Useless Treasure?
>>Olmec: The Useless Treasure can be found in the King's Storeroom.
[camera zooms in on the Treasure on the center Storeroom pedestal, then fades back to Kirk]
>>Kirk: Okay, teams. You're now standing on the Steps of Knowledge. In a minute, Olmec's gonna ask you a question. If you think you know the answer, stomp down on the ancient marking in front of you. If you're right, you'll move a step down. But if you're wrong or run outta time, I'll give the other teams a chance to answer. The 1st 2 teams to make it to the bottom step will make it one step closer to olmec's Temple. Olmec, we're now ready for your 1st question.

>>Olmec: Was Canute the king of England, Denmark or...
[the Silver Snake girl rings in and says "Denmark"]
>>Olmec: That is correct!
[the Silver Snakes go down a step]
>>Kirk: Okay! They're doing good, Olmec, next question.
>>Olmec: Was canute a believer of Roman Catholicism, Anglicanism or Protestantism?
[the Silver Snake girl rings in and says "Roman Catholicism"]
>>Olmec: That is correct!
[the Silver Snakes move down a step]
>>Kirk: Alright! Now the Silver Snakes are now just a step away from the Temple Games. Next question, Olmec.
>>Olmec: Which other country did Canute rule over?
[the Blue Barracudas stomp in and yell "England!"]
>>Olmec: That is coorrect!
[the Blue Barracudas move a step down]
>>Kirk: they're coming on strong. Green Monkeys, Orange Iguanas, don't worry, you still can catch up. Next question...
>>Olmec: Was Canute an illegal, iliterate, or an ilegitimate child?
[the Green Monkey girl rings in and says "Ilegitimate"]
>>Olmec: that is right.
[the green Monkeys move a step down]
>>Kirk: Green Monkeys are coming up good. Next question, Olmec.
>>Olmec: What day does the Roman Catholic Church celebrate Canute? Is it October 4th, November 29th, or January 19th?
[the Orange Iguana boy rings in and says "January 19"]
>>Olmec: That's correct!
[the Orange Iguanas move down a step]
>>Kirk: Everyone's on the board! Okay, Olmec, next question.
>>Olmec: Are the Vikings originated from--
[the Blue Barracuda girl rings in and says "Scandinavia!"]
>>Olmec: That is correct!
[the Blue Barracudas move a step down]
>>Kirk: Blue's tied with Silver and is just one step away from the Temple Games. Next question.
>>Olmec: According to the legend, what was the name of Canute's brother? Was it--
[the Blue Barracuda girl rings in and yells "Benedict!"]
>>Olmec: That is correct.
[the Blue Barracudas step down to the last step]
>>Kirk: We have our 1st team going onto the Temple Games! They're the Blue Barracudas! Now, we need one more team; who's it gonna be: the Silver Snakes, the Orange Iguanas or the Green Monkeys? Next question.
>>Olmec: Is the capital of Denmark--
[the Orange Iguana boy rings in and yells "Copenhagen!"]
>>Olmec: That is correct!
[the Orange Iguanas move a step down]
>>Kirk: Great job! Now, Orange Iguanas are just 1 step away from the Temple Games. It's now anybody's game, next question.
>>Olmec: Which continent is Denmark in--
[the Orange Iguana boy rings in and yells "Europe!"]
>>Olmec: That is correct!
[the Orange Iguanas step down to the final step]
>>Kirk: We have our 2 teams that're gonna go head to head right here! They're the Blue Barracudas and the Orange Iguanas! The Green Monkeys and the Silver Snakes gave it a gallant effort too. They're not going away empty-handed, here's what we have for them:
[Devon, Shannon, Jeremy & Melanie will be getting a copy of Avatar the Last Airbender: The Complete 1st Season Collection on DVD]
>>Kirk: These 2 teams are gonna battle it out for the right to enter Olmec's Temple, and they're gonna do it right after this!
[the camera fades to the column in the Pit of the Pendulum; the pendant logo joins together and then fades out to commercial break]

[The Bamboo Forest]

At this point, I'm gonna break my golden rule and comment before it's done. In the past, people have grouped the legend and the Steps of Knowledge together. Just some advice on the commonplace thing to do.

[lothtfan]

[the camera is on the left-hand corner shelf in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey, then zooms out to show the Temple Games while the pendant logo splits]
>>Kirk: Welcome back to legends! Now the glory goes to the fastest and the strongest! But, before we get started, let's meet our 2 teams here. On the Blue Barracudas, we have Kali. How old are you, Kali?
>>Kali: 13.
>>Kirk: It says here that you like to sing country and pop. How'd you get into that?
>>Kali: Well, I started when I was 7, and I've been singing in various places ever since.
>>Kirk: Wow! That's a great feat! Now, we've got Burnsey, and how old're you, Burnsey?
>>Burnsey: 14.
>>Kirk: Now, Burnsey, you like to do 60 hours of community service a week. How do you do that?
>>Burnsey: How I help my community is by volunteering at soup kitchens, shoveling snow, and even picking up trash around the neighborhood.
>>Kirk: Oh, let's see if you can serve yourself out in the Temple Games; let's hear it for the Blue Barracudas!
[the audience applauds for Burnsey and Kali]
>>Kirk: But, we shouldn't forget about the Orange Iguanas. Now, on Orange, we have Jennifer. How old are ya, jen?
>>Jennifer: 14.
>>Kirk: It says that you love to dance ballet, hip-hop and jazz. Tell me how you got into that.
>>Jennifer: Well, I love to move, and this sorta felt like the best way to pass the time.
>>Kirk: We'll see if you can move in these games. Alright, you're Hayden. How old are you, Hayden?
>>Hayden: 12.
>>Kirk: It says here that you wanna get a bachelor's degree from the University of Wisconsin. Why do you wanan get a bachelor's degree?
>>Hayden: 'cause I like the bachelor's degree in doctoring, and I love to help people when they're hurt, sick, or upset.
>>Kirk: Let's see if you can get a degree in the Temple Games; let's hear it for the Orange Iguanas!
[the audience applauds for Hayden & Jennifer]
>>Kirk: Okay, girls, go get ready for the 2nd game, guys, you can stay here and get ready for the 1st game, and I'm gonna tell ya what'll happen here. In the Temple Games, these teams will be competing to win Pendants of Life. The winning team will need the Pendants to protect themselves from the dreaded Temple Guards as they make their way Olmec?s Temple. There are 3 Temple Games, and Olmec, tell us about Temple Game #1.
>>Olmec: Canute often traded with kings from other countries for gold, silver, and a plethora of treasures. Now, you must transfer some artifacts. When Kirk gives the signal, both of you, crawl into the first peephole, pop out, grab an artifact. If the atrifact matches the one you found at on eof the other peepholes, take it back and drop it into your bin. The first team to trade the most artifacts in 60 seconds wins.
>>Kirk: Looks like we're gonna have a lot of sharing in here! Set the clock for 60 seconds...
[0:60 appears on the bottom-right hand corner of the screen]
>>Kirk: On your mark, get set, GO!!
[Kali & Jennifer crawl into the 1st peephole, Kali finds a golden crown while Jennifer finds a golden scepter and one that matches it; she then returns to her bin, Kali finds a matching crown and a lighthouse in the next peephole, she finds a matching one on her next try, and returns to her bin; Jennifer gets her 2nd one with 0:20 left, Kali gets her 3rd one 13 seconds later; the audience counts down from 10; the clock explodes to indicate time's up]
>>Kirk: Oh, wow! What a Temple Game! Let's see how many they got. The Orange Iguanas had 1, 2 artifacts; the Blue Barracudas had 1, 2, 3 artifacts! The Blue Barracudas get a half Pendant of Life!
[the audience applauds]
>>Kirk: Don't worry, Orange Iguanas. You can catch up in this next game 'cause it's worth a half-pendant. Olmec, tell us about Temple Game #2.
>>Olmec: Canute's castle was often conquered by the other Scandinavian kings for its jewels, knights and guards. Before stands Canute's castle which you must infiltrate from the bottom up. When Kirk gives the signal, launch yourself towards the netting, climb up, throw the guard thru the hole. Then, jump up to the next one and do it again. When you reach the top, throw the knight thru the hole. The first player to infiltrate the castle first wins!
>>Kirk: Looks like it's gonna be a big wash-out here. Let's set 60 seconds on the clock. On your mark, get set, GO!!!!
[Burnsey & Hayden jump and launch themselves using the trampolines to get thru the next level, they both throw the guards down, Burnsey starts having trouble getting to the last level while Hayden gets to the final one and throws the knight back down, ending the game with 28 seconds]
>>Kirk: That's it! Orange Iguanas kept it quick and accurate all the way, while the Blue Barracudas had more trouble. Orange got to the top first, giving them another half pendant of life!
[the audience applauds]
>>Kirk: It's now tied: a 1/2 pendant apiece. We now go to the 3rd and final game, which is worth a full pendant. Olmec, tell us about Temple Game 3.
>>Olmec: When the rebels invaded, Canute had to flee to avoid death. You and your partner are chained together, and now you must flee as well. When Kirk gives the signal, maneuver yourselves along the wall until you reach the slot and your partner can pass thru. The first team to escape, or the team that's further along wins.
>>Kirk: It's a half pendant apiece and whoever wins goes to the Temple. Let's set 60 seconds on the clock. On your mark, get set, go!
[The teams move along the wall and move thru the metal loops. Blue begins having trouble on the 3rd loop, while Orange makes it to the final loop and passes thru with 14 seconds]
>>Kirk: Okay, we have a winner! Orange Iguanas finished well before Blue Barracudas could, that gives 'em a full pendant, making it 1 1/2 pendants, and the Orange Iguanas are goin' into the Temple!
[The Orange Iguanas hug and high-ten]
>>Kirk: Blue Barracudas gave it a gallant effort as well. They're not going away empty-handed, here's what we got for them.
[Burnsey & Kali will be receiving a copy of Happy Feet on DVD]
>>Kirk: We'll see if the Orange Iguanas can make it thru Olmec's Temple, and retreive that Useless Treasure of the Viking Chief, and we're gonna figure it out right after this!
[the camera zooms in on the idol near Olmec and then fades to commercial break]

[lothtfan]

[the camera is on the right-hand cabinet in the Room of The Secret Password while the pendant splits]
>>Kirk: Welcome back to Legends! Hayden & Jennifer have proven themselves worthy and have earned the right to enter Olmec's Temple. But first, Olmec's gonna give them some information to help 'em retreive the Useless Treasure of the Viking Chief!
>>Olmec: You could start by running up the stairs to the Crypt! Grab the book from the skeletons, and pass into the Pit of the Pendulum. Knock over the column, and climb into the King's Storeroom! Smash the clay pots to find the key, that will lead you into the Chamber?of the Sacred Markers.  Match the symbols on the right, to those on the left, and pass into the Rooom? of the Ancient Warriors! Place yourself in the correct armor, and open the door to the SHRINE of the Silver Monkey.  Assemble the statue and you may be headed toward the Room? of the Secret Password. Find the tablet with the correct inscription, and shout it out to open the door to the Pharaoh's Secret Passage.  Slide down the tunnel to the Quicksand Bog, where you could smash through to the Dark Forest? but beware the Temple Guards that may inhabit the treeeeees! Find the key in the tree and you'll enter? the Jester's Court! Press yourself against the correct wall painting, and you'll gain entry to the Tomb of the
Headless Kiiiiiings! Pull the vines to release their bones, and attach the
missing skull to its proper king! Then, race through the pit, CLIMB through
the Ledges, rrrrrrace down the STAIRS and back through the Temple Gate! The choices are yours and yours ALONE! You won 1 1/2 pendants in the Temple Games. Who's going first?
>>Jennifer: I am.
>>Olmec: Very well, Jennifer! When Kirk gives the signal, you'll race through the gates into the Temple and make your way toward the Useless Treasure. Hidden inside the Temple are Temple Guards assigned to protect three specific rooms. You can trade your Pendant for an extra life and go on, but if you're caught without a Pendant, you'll be taken out of the Temple? and then it'll be Hayden's turn to enter and try his luck. Hidden somewhere in the Temple is the other half of your Pendant. If you can find it and you're carrying the other half, you will get an extra life. If you can reach the Secret Treasure, all the doors of the Temple will instantly unlock, and the Temple Guards will vanish. Return through the gates with the Useless Treasure of the Viking Chief in three minutes, and you will both be handsomely rewarded? and here's how:
[for just getting into the Temple, they'll win a VocoPro Karaoke Machine, with pre-installed songs and memory card, all from Vocopro.]
[If they grab the Treasure within 3 minutes, they'll also win a Yamaha keyboard complete with classic songs and interactive keys, all from Yamaha.]
[If they can bring the Treasure out of the Temple before 3 minutes're up, they'll be getting a San Francisco getaway! They'll stay at San Francisco for a week and visit the local wharf, the Wax Museum and see the Aquarium at Bay, all at San Francisco.]
>>Kirk: Wow! San Francisco! Let's see if we can get 'em there! Mouthpieces in. Olmec, lower your gate!
[Olmec hums and lowers his gate and then his lights go off.]
>>Kirk: Put 3 minutes on the clock. On your mark, get set, GO!!!
[Jennifer races into the Temple towards the Crypt. She grabs the 2nd skeleton and races into the Pit, where she knocks the column down and heads for the Tomb, where she encounters her 1st guard with 2:38, she pulls all the vines and the skull works on the 2nd king, she enters the Court, the 3rd one allows her into the Forest, where she finds the key in the 1st tree and goes up into the Shrine, where she is removed by the 2nd guard; Hayden races in with 1:32, follows her path and slowly assembles the Silver Monkey, he enters the Room of the Ancient Warriors, where the middle one opens the Storeroom, then he races up and grabs the Treasure Chest with 0:43, then takes the high road and exits the Temple with 0:20, then he jumps down with 0:14]
>>Kirk: YES!! He did it! He made it all the way thru! They did it! They were awesome all the way, and they get the karaoke machine, they get the keyboard, they're going to San Francisco! We gotta get outta here, we'll see you next time for another Legend of the Hidden Temple! Buh-bye!
[the credit starts rolling, showing shots of the pots in the Storeroom, the mistless Moat, and the scenery near the Court where the 2007 Nickelodeon logo on the bottom part of the screen appears]
[shows Stone Stanley logo]
[Legends of the Hidden Temple was recorded in front of a live studio audience at Nickelodeon Studios in Universal Studios, Florida.]

[lothtfan]

Temple Run Summary
Episode 1: The useless Treasure of the Viking Chief

Season: 1
Layout: 1
Result: Escaped!
Time Remaining: 0:14
Team: Orange Iguanas
Pendants Won: 1 1/2
Location of Artifact: The King's Storeroom



This is the best and most memorable Temple Run in the Renewed history. Everything was so close, and the Orange Iguanas worked well.
Jennifer was intelligent and fast, even though she was removed in the Shrine with 1:34. Hayden took over and recorded this amazing win.

Trivia & Records:
This was the first episode ever, and it marked the Orange Iguanas' first temple entrance and win.

[The Ancient Warrior]

Temple Run Summary
Episode 1: The Secret Treasure of Phoolan Devi

Edit much? ^^;

Not too bad given it's your first fic.  As far as the writing style goes, I don't think I really should nitpick much; the only thing I'd suggest is breaking down the Temple Run into separate paragraph (at least one per player) to make it easier to read.

I think you've put some thought into writing this, yes.  The dialogue is a tad forced at times, but I'm not talking about Kirk and Olmec (you really can't write things that're "too forced" with them).  The interviews seemed a bit unrealistic (mostly Burnsey's, given that 60 hours is a third of all the time in a week, and with school, homework, getting from place to place, sleep and three square meals a day? I mean, 20 hours a week seems doable, but then again, this is just my opinion).

Those are my only real issues with it, though.  The attention to detail was pretty good, and in some cases, you've even brought in more detail than other writers (such as physical describing all the players rather than just the ones that get to the Temple Games).   Seeing as the first creation isn't usually a reliable example of what people can do, I'm gonna say it's not a bad start.  There's some potential in this, definitely.

[The Bamboo Forest]

If there is one thing I can advise you... make a Photobucket account and upload your temple diagram there, because you can't directly upload from your machine. :wink:

[The Bandit King]

Not bad for a first try. Aside from a few nitpicky things (like the "Phoolan Devi" thing), it's a pretty nice read. It'll be interesting to see where your fics go.