Legends: Rebirth-The Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood

[The Bandit King]

Episode 54: The Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood

The camera winds and twists its way through a thick jungle of strange and exotic plants.  After a few wrong turns, it finally stops in front of an ancient Mayan temple.  At the base of the temple, a giant stone head sits.  Suddenly, a torch on either side of the head begins burning.  The head’s eyes light up, and it begins to speak:

“Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth!”  These words appear on the screen.  “With your guide, Kirk Fogg!  And here he is now!”

A middle-aged man wearing a denim shirt and blue jeans rides in on an ATV.  He dismounts the vehicle and runs up the Steps of Knowledge, microphone in hand.

“Thank you!  Thank you very much!  Nice to see everyone!  Nice to see you, Olmec!  Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple: Rebirth.  The rooms are filled with lost treasures protected by mysterious Mayan Temple Guards.  Only Olmec knows the legends behind each of these all-new treasures in his temple…which one are we gonna hear about today?”

“The legend of the Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood,” Olmec replies.

“Oh, the Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood,” Kirk repeats, a slightly disgusted look on his face.  “Well, the legend is set, and one of these teams will have a chance to retrieve the Dentures—will it be:

“The Red Jaguars?”  The camera zooms in on each team as they are introduced.
“The Blue Barracudas?
“The Green Monkeys?
“The Orange Iguanas?
“The Purple Parrots?
“Or the Silver Snakes?

“They’ll have to pass some tough tests, both physical and mental, but in the end, only one team will earn the right to enter Olmec’s Temple.  But first, they have to cross the Moat, and Olmec’s gonna tell us how they’ll have to do that today…”

Olmec begins to explain the Moat Crossing:
“Before you, several rock formations stick out from the Moat.  Closer to you float the remains of an ancient raft.  When Kirk gives the signal, one player from each team will jump into the water and balance the raft, and the other player will step onto the raft itself.  Then, kick your way across the Moat, avoiding the rocks along the way.  If you hit a rock formation, or if the second player falls or touches their partner, you must both go back and begin again.  Once you reach the other side, step off the raft, help your partner out of the water, run over and hit the gong.”  Kirk hits the Silver Snakes’ gong to demonstrate.  “The first four teams to hit their gongs will go on to the next round!”

“All right, let’s get started,” says Kirk.  “Hey teams, are you ready?”
The teams all shout and cheer in response.
“Olmec, are you ready?” Kirk asks.
“Ready to rock,” replies Olmec.
“All right,” says Kirk.  “On your mark, get set, GO!”

The male players of each team either wade or drop into the water and grab the foam “raft” while their female partners climb onto them.  “This is tough, because you don’t have anything to hold on to,” Kirk narrates as the boys start to kick their way across.  The Blue Barracudas’ girl falls off her raft almost immediately, and the Green Monkeys’ girl soon follows.  The Red Jaguars pull out in front until they reach the first rock formation—a boulder protruding from the water, which they have to go around—causing the girl to lose her balance and fall.  “Whoa, we’ve got teams fallin’ off left and right—oh, Silver Snakes just fell off!” Kirk narrates as the Silver Snakes’ girl hits the water.  The Purple Parrots and Orange Iguanas successfully make it around the boulder as the Red Jaguars fail to make it past theirs again, falling into the water a second time.  The Green Monkeys’ girl falls off her raft again trying to get around the boulder, as does the Blue Barracudas’ girl.  The Silver Snakes make it around the boulder without the girl falling on their second try, and the Blue Barracudas do as well; however, the girl falls off as they begin to make their way to the second rock formation.  The Orange Iguanas and Purple Parrots successfully make it through the second rock formation—a large rock arch that the standing player must duck under to pass through—and pull well out in front.  “I think I know who our first two teams are gonna be,” Kirk narrates.  Sure enough, the Orange Iguanas and Purple Parrots both make it to the other side at about the same time, and they both hit the gong within milliseconds of each other.  “Two teams—oh, maybe three teams now!” Kirk narrates as the Silver Snakes successfully make it through the rock arch and reach the other side.  The girl almost falls off, but thankfully regains her balance and pulls her partner out of the water.  They hit the gong about a second later.  “Three teams—we only need one more!” Kirk narrates.  As the Green Monkeys’ girl falls for what must be the fourth time now, the Blue Barracudas have made it past the boulder and are trying to make it past the rock arch.  The Red Jaguars catch up to the Barracudas, however, and make it through more quickly.  In a close race, the Red Jaguars barely beat out the Blue Barracudas to become the fourth and final team to hit their gong.

“That’s it,” remarks Kirk as he rushes over to stand beside the Silver Snakes.  “Four teams, right there!  Silver Snakes had a little problem staying on the raft there at the start, but they made it, and going on to the Steps of Knowledge are the Silver Snakes…and the Purple Parrots…”  Kirk pauses between each team’s name to allow for applause.  “…and the Orange Iguanas…and the Red Jaguars!  The Blue Barracudas and the Green Monkeys came up just a little short, but they’re not going away empty-handed.  No, we’ve got a great gift for ‘em, and here it is!”  They receive a $50 gift certificate from GameStop.

[The Bandit King]

Kirk and the remaining four teams are now standing atop the Steps of Knowledge.  “As the quest continues, it’s now time for Olmec to tell us about the Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood.  But pay attention, everybody, because your knowledge of the legend can bring you a step closer to Olmec’s Temple…”

Olmec begins to tell the story:
“One of the most important people in the history of dentistry was Dr. John Greenwood.  He was the son of the first dentist born on American soil, and consequently, had big shoes to fill.  In 1790, he invented the dentist’s drill and a foot pedal to power it, and gained perhaps his most famous patient—the first President of the United States, George Washington.  Legend has it that one day, Washington walked into Dr. Greenwood’s office, clutching his jaw in pain.
“‘Morning, George,’ said Dr. Greenwood cheerfully.  ‘How’s my best customer?’
“‘Save it, Doc,’ grumbled Washington.  ‘I want a refund for these stupid wooden false teeth you made for me!’
“‘Why?  They fit your mouth, don’t they?’
“‘Oh, they fit my mouth perfectly—but they hurt like the dickens!’
“Dr. Greenwood realized the problem, and set to work on a new set of dentures for his patient.  When Washington returned a few days later, Greenwood showed the dentures to him.
“‘George, I think I have the solution.  These dentures won’t cause any pain, and to boot, they aren’t wooden—they’re made of hippopotamus ivory!’
“Washington’s wooden teeth nearly fell out of his open jaw.  ‘Are you crazy?!  That’s disgusting!’
“‘Hey, don’t knock ‘em until you try ‘em!’ said Dr. Greenwood.
“Washington tried the ivory dentures, and found that he liked them much better than his old wooden ones.  Washington wore his ivory dentures every day until he died, and they never caused him any pain.  Dr. Greenwood continued to treat Washington for the rest of the first President’s life, but he threw out the wooden dentures.  Somehow, they found their way to the Temple.  Your quest is to find the Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood and bring them back here.”

“Yuck!” Kirk groans.  “Okay, so where are these Dentures?”

“The Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood can be found in the Shaolin Dojo,” Olmec replies.  The camera zooms in on a disgusting-looking set of wet, worn-out wooden teeth on the guardrail of the room before fading back to Kirk.

“Teams, you’re standing on the Steps of Knowledge,” Kirk explains.  “In a minute, Olmec’s gonna ask you a question.  If you think you know the answer, stomp down on that ancient marking in front of you.  If you’re right, you’ll be able to move down to the next level, but if you’re wrong or you run out of time, I’ll give the other teams a chance to answer.”  Kirk begins descending the Steps.  “The first two teams to make it to the bottom level will be one step closer to Olmec’s Temple.  Olmec…we’re now ready for your first question.”

Olmec begins:
“Was John Greenwood: a dentist, a dermatologist, or—”
The Purple Parrots ring in.  “Dentist…”
“That is correct,” replies Olmec.  The Purple Parrots step down to the second level.
“Step down, Purple Parrots,” Kirk instructs.  “Next question, Olmec.”

“Who was John Greenwood’s most famous patient—”
The Orange Iguanas ring in this time.  “George Washington!”
“That…is correct,” Olmec replies.  The Orange Iguanas join the Purple Parrots on the second step.
“Orange Iguanas can step down now,” Kirk says.  “Next question, please.”

“What were George Washington’s first dentures made from: cork, wood, or—”
The Orange Iguanas ring in again.  “Um…they were wooden.”
“That…is correct,” Olmec responds.  The Orange Iguanas proceed to the next-to-last step.
“Now the Orange Iguanas are just one step away from the Temple Games,” Kirk explains.  “But remember, we need two teams…next question.”

“According to our legend, why did George Washington dislike his wooden teeth—”
The Red Jaguars ring in early.  “Oh…uh…they, uh…gave him, uh…splinters…?”
“That is not one of our three choices,” says Olmec as some members of the audience can be heard chuckling.  “The three choices are: they wore his gums down, they were uncomfortable, or they had termites?”
The Silver Snakes ring in.  “They were…uncomfortable…?”
“That is correct,” Olmec replies.  The Silver Snakes step down to the second level.
“Silver Snakes are on the board now as well,” Kirk observes.  “Still time for the others to catch up, though…next question.”

“Were Washington’s new dentures made from: bone, ivory, or ebony?”
The Orange Iguanas ring in as Olmec is giving the final choice.  “Ivory…?”
“That is correct!” Olmec booms.  The Orange Iguanas step to the bottom level.
“Orange Iguanas are our first team for the Temple Games!” Kirk says as they high-ten one another.  “We need one more team.  Who’s it gonna be—the Red Jaguars, the Silver Snakes, or the Purple Parrots?  Olmec, next question.”

“What animal provided the ivory for Washington’s teeth: elephant, rhinoceros, or hippopotamus?”
The Silver Snakes ring in.  “Hippopol…potamus?”
“That is correct,” Olmec replies.  The Silver Snakes join the Purple Parrots on the next-to-last step.
“Tough pronunciation,” says Kirk, “but now the Silver Snakes are just a step away!  Still plenty of time for the Red Jaguars, though—next question.”

“Was George Washington born in: Virginia, Massachusetts, or Maryland?”
After a few seconds of silence, the Red Jaguars ring in.  “Virginia?”
“That is correct,” Olmec states.  The Red Jaguars look around for a second or two before descending to the second step.
“Red Jaguars finally get to step down!” Kirk exclaims as the audience claps loudly.  “Like I said, it’s anyone’s game…next question.”

“Is George Washington’s home in Virginia known as: Monticello, Mount Vernon, or Valley Forge?”
The Silver Snakes ring in.  “Mount Vernon…?”
“That…is correct!” Olmec booms, and the Silver Snakes step down to the bottom level, where they are high-fived by the Orange Iguanas.

“And here are our two teams for the Temple Games!” Kirk says as he runs over and stands between them.  “They are the Orange Iguanas, and the Silver Snakes!  Red Jaguars, Purple Parrots, you guys did great, too.  We’re not sending you home empty-handed—we have a great gift for ‘em, and here’s what it is!”  They receive a $100 savings bond provided by Wonka candy.

Kirk is now seen standing between the two advancing teams.  “These two teams will go head-to-head to see who’s gonna enter Olmec’s Temple, right after this!”

The camera zooms in on a patch of white silk flowers next to the Silver Snakes’ gong by the Moat.  The title then appears onscreen, and we fade to a commercial.

[The Bandit King]

We return from the break to find Kirk standing in front of the Temple with the two remaining teams.

“Welcome back,” he says.  “Now, the glory goes to the fastest and the strongest, but first, let’s get to know our teams a little better…”

Kirk turns first to the Orange Iguanas, who are made up of a slender brown-eyed girl with short, wavy-black hair and a slightly taller black-haired boy with blue eyes.
“On the Orange Iguanas, we have Violet.  How old are you?”
“Twelve,” Violet replies.
“And…you like to play soccer, but you also enjoy learning about foreign languages.  Why?”
“Oh, um…I really like to see how much people in, like, other countries have…similar words and languages to English.  It’s just really interesting, I think,” Violet replies.
“What kinds of languages have you studied so far?” asks Kirk.
“Uh, Spanish, French…Italian, and…a little German,” says Violet.
“All right, interesting,” says Kirk.  “And over here is your partner, Jerry.  How old are you, Jerry?”
“Thirteen,” he replies.
“And it says here you enjoy all kinds of sports, but you also like to surf…tell me a little about that.”
“Well,” says Jerry, “I, uh…started about five years ago with my dad; he’s been surfing a long time.  And…I just really got into it.”
“Sounds like a tough team here,” says Kirk.  “Let’s hear it for the Orange Iguanas!”  Jerry and Violet applaud politely along with the audience.

Kirk now turns to the Silver Snakes, who are made up of a tall blue-eyed boy with curly brown hair and a slightly shorter girl with long blonde hair, brown eyes and freckles.
“And over on the Silver Snakes, we have Olivia.  How old are you?”
“Thirteen,” she replies.
“And it says here that you enjoy playing basketball…tell me a little bittle—bit about that.”
“Well, I got into it because of my brother,” says Olivia.  “He’s…about two years older than me, and he plays a lot, and…I just got interested in it from him.”
“You guys play one-on-one?” asks Kirk.
“Yeah, sometimes,” says Olivia.
“You ever beaten him?”
“Um…no,” Olivia laughs.
“Ha, ha—maybe someday, right?” says Kirk as he turns to her partner.  “And over here, we have your partner, Larry.  Hey—Jerry, Larry.  Larry, Jerry.”  Kirk motions back and forth between the two male contestants as if he’s introducing them to one another, provoking laughs from both boys as well as the audience.  “And…ha, ha…uh, how old are you, Larry?”
“Thirteen,” Larry replies.
“And it says here that you also like basketball, but you also like to draw…what kind of stuff do you like to draw?”
“Uh, mainly cartoons,” says Larry.  “I’m, uh…not very good at drawing, like, ‘real’ stuff…I like to make up, like cartoons and stuff.”
“Well, this sounds like a creative team here,” says Kirk.  “Let’s hear a hand for the Silver Snakes!”  The audience applauds as Larry and Olivia nod and high-five one another.

“Okay, is everyone ready to play?” Kirk asks.

“Yeah!” the contestants reply.

“All right, go get ready for the Temple Games,” Kirk instructs.  “Now, in these Temple Games, our teams are competing for…” Kirk retrieves a Pendant of Life from his pouch and holds it up to the camera.  “…Pendants of Life.  The winning team will need those Pendants to protect themselves from the dreaded Temple Guards as they make their way through Olmec’s Temple.  There are three Temple Games, and Olmec will tell us about Temple Game #1…”

The black lights under Olmec come on as he begins to explain the first Game:
“As a dentist, John Greenwood often had to extract patients’ teeth by pulling them—all without anesthesia!  In this game, the patient you’ll be pulling teeth from is thankfully anesthetized.  When Kirk gives the signal, run out and grab a tooth, then turn around, come back and place it in your bin.  Then run back and grab the next tooth.  The first player to pull all their patients’ teeth, or…the player who pulls the most teeth in thirty seconds…wins.”

“Guess we don’t need string and a doorknob to pull these teeth,” says Kirk.  “Let’s set the clocks for thirty seconds!”  The clock slams down in the corner with a loud gong sound effect.  “On your mark, get set, GO!”

Olivia and Violet each use the zipline-guided slide they’re hanging from to clamber toward the set of eight teeth on a red felt board before them.  Violet is a bit faster than Olivia, but she has trouble turning around on the apparatus, allowing the game to stay fairly even throughout.  The only inconsistency comes when Violet misses her bin while dropping one of her teeth into it—a fact that costs her to lose her next-to-last tooth.  Two teeth remain on the Silver Snakes’ board and one on the Orange Iguanas’ board as the clock reaches zero.

“Okay, that’s it!” says Kirk as he appears back onscreen.  “That’s it—bring it over; let’s count it up!”  The spotters bring the bins over to Kirk as he kneels beside them.  “Orange Iguanas got…one, two, three, four, five, six teeth!  And the Silver Snakes have one, two, three, four, five…they got six teeth!  That means both teams win the half Pendant of Life!”  The audience applauds briefly.  “It’s tied up now, but that can change in this next Temple Game.  It’s worth a half Pendant, too—Olmec, tell us about the second Temple Game…”

Olmec begins:
“In addition to making George Washington’s famous wooden teeth, Dr. Greenwood also invented a foot-powered dentist’s drill.  In this game, you’ll be powering this drill.  When Kirk gives the signal, adjust your weight to make the wheel you’re standing on spin.  For every rotation you make, it symbolizes one unit of power for the dentist’s drill.  The player who generates the most power in sixty seconds…wins.”

“Time to power up, I guess,” says Kirk.  “Set the clock for sixty seconds!”  The clock slams down in the corner with the usual sound effect.  “On your mark, get set, GO!”

Jerry and Larry begin running on their hands and feet to turn the giant Pendant-shaped wheels.  Neither one falls off early on in the game, but Jerry pulls ahead by a few rotations as the halfway point of the game approaches.  With about 30 seconds left, Jerry falls off his wheel, allowing Larry to tie up the game 6-6.  Jerry and Larry both remain neck-and-neck for the rest of the game, and Jerry just barely fails to make a final rotation of the wheel to overtake Larry before time expires.

“All right, that’s it!” says Kirk.  “Come down here, both of you—whoa, they’re dizzy!  Let’s count it up and see how we did…”  Kirk glances back at each team’s scorecard.  “The Orange Iguanas made ten rotations, and…the Silver Snakes also made ten rotations!  Both teams get a half Pendant of Life!”  The audience applauds briefly.  “So now, it’s tied up—both teams have one Pendant apiece.  But now, we go to the third and final Temple Game.  It’s worth a full Pendant of Life—Olmec, tell us about Temple Game #3…”

Olmec begins to explain the final Temple Game:
“When George Washington received his new ivory teeth, he could concentrate on other things, such as fending off British invaders to the newly formed American colonies.  You are about to help Washington do just that.  Before you stand four British soldiers.  When Kirk gives the signal, load your slingshot and shoot a ball at one of the soldiers.  Then, your partner will load the slingshot.  The first team to knock down all four soldiers, or…the team that knocks over the most soldiers in sixty seconds…wins.”

“This is for the Temple,” explains Kirk.  “Let’s set the clock for sixty seconds!”  The clock slams down in the corner, ready to go.  “I’ll get out of the way…ready, aim, FIRE!”

The first ball fired by both teams knocks over their right middle target.  The Silver Snakes totter their leftmost target with the next ball they launch, but the Orange Iguanas successfully knock over their left middle target with 51 seconds left.  The Orange Iguanas have a little trouble hitting the outside targets, allowing the Silver Snakes to hit their left middle target and tie it up with 44 seconds remaining.  A chance shot by Jerry knocks over the Orange Iguanas’ leftmost target with 36 seconds to go, giving them the lead again.  A few seconds of teetering targets and flying cannonballs go by until about 20 seconds remain, when the Silver Snakes knock over their rightmost target.  Both teams frantically start shooting balls when the ten-second countdown begins, and with four seconds left, Violet launches a ball at her team’s last target, knocking it over.

“That’s it!” says Kirk as the Orange Iguanas’ final target falls.  The ball that Olivia was loading into the slingshot knocks over the Silver Snakes’ last target about a second later.  “They got it first—the Orange Iguanas knocked over all their targets first, so the Orange Iguanas get the full Pendant.  That gives them two; the Silver Snakes have one—the Orange Iguanas are goin’ to the Temple!”  Jerry and Violet high-ten one another in excitement.  “Nice job!  Silver Snakes, come over here…you guys did an incredible job, too—it was so close!  We’ve got a great gift for you for competing, and here’s what it is!”  They receive Epic Mickey for the Nintendo Wii.

As the prize disappears off-screen, Kirk is seen standing beside the winning team.  “Now we’ll see if the Orange Iguanas can retrieve the Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood from Olmec’s Temple, right after this!”

The camera flies over Kirk and the Orange Iguanas before zooming in on a group of handholds at the back of the Bottomless Pit.  The title then appears onscreen, and we fade to a commercial.

[The Bandit King]

We return from the break and see Kirk standing in front of the Temple with the winning team.

“Welcome back to Legends: Rebirth,” Kirk says.  “The Orange Iguanas have proven themselves worthy and have earned the right to enter Olmec’s Temple.  But first, Olmec will give them some information to help them retrieve the Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood…”

Olmec begins to explain the Temple layout as the camera gives us a first-person walkthrough of the Temple:
“You could start…by running up the stairs to the Crypt!  Grab the book from the skeletons, and pass into the Bottomless Pit.  Swing across the gap, and climb into the Lookout Tower!  Focus the telescope to read the ancient print on the far wall, and a door may open into the Geographer’s Study.  Find the missing pieces of the map and correctly place them, and pass into the Shaolin Dojo.  Place the yin-yang on the correct suit of armor, and open the door to the SHRIIIINE of the Silver Monkey!  Assemble the statue and you may be headed toward the Lightning Ball Room!  Connect the power cords to create your own lightning, which will blast open the door to the Pharaoh’s Secret Passage.  Slide down the tunnel to the Dungeon, where you could smash through the wall into the Dark Forest…but beware of the Temple Guards that may inhabit the trees!  Find the key in the tree, and you’ll enter the Chamber…of the Four Elements.  Place the elements in the correct order, and you’ll gain entry to the Jewel Mine!  Place all the jewels into the mine cart, then…race through the Pit, climb through the Ledges, rrrrrace down the stairs and back through the Temple Gate!  The choices are yours and yours alone!”  Olmec pauses.  “You won 2 Pendants in the Temple Games.  Who’s going first?”

“I am,” says Jerry.

“Very well, Jerry,” Olmec replies.  “When Kirk gives the signal, you’ll race through the Gates into the Temple and make your way toward the Discarded Dentures.  Hidden inside the Temple are Temple Guards assigned to protect three specific rooms.  You can trade your Pendant for an extra life and go on, but…if you’re caught without a Pendant, you’ll be taken out of the Temple, and it’ll be Violet’s turn to enter and try her luck.  If you can reach the Dentures, all the doors of the Temple will instantly unlock, and the Temple Guards will vanish.  Return through the Gates with the Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood in three minutes, and you will both be handsomely rewarded: and here’s how!”

• Just for making it to the Temple, they’ll get an MP3 player.
• If they can reach the Dentures within three minutes, they’ll also receive a 4-in-1 game table.
• And if they can bring the Dentures out of the Temple before three minutes expires, they’ll win a trip to Jamaica.

“They wanna go to Jamaica, I can tell,” says Kirk.  “Let’s see if we can get ‘em there.  Let’s get you two into position…got your mouthpieces in?  Okay, good…let’s set the clock for three minutes!”  The clock slams down in the bottom right-hand corner.

“Olmec, lower your gate, please.”  Olmec moans gutturally as the gate is lowered, and the black lights and torches under him are turned off.

“Looks like Jerry’s ready,” says Kirk as Jerry stands ready to take off at the starting line.  “On your mark, get set, GO!”

“There he goes, up into the Temple!” Kirk narrates as Jerry soon disappears behind Olmec.  He makes his way up to the Crypt (2:54) and pulls one book before the secret door in the back of the room opens, revealing the first TEMPLE GUARD (2:50).  “Oh, Temple Guard got him, right off the bat!” Kirk says as Jerry reaches for his Pendant and hands it to the Guard.  The Guard disappears behind the door as Jerry pulls another book, opening the door to the Bottomless Pit (2:44).  “He’s not gonna let that faze him—into the Bottomless Pit!” Kirk narrates as Jerry enters the room, where he grabs the rope and swings across.  He hits the actuator for both the Lookout Tower and the Geographer’s Study, but only the door to the central room of the Temple opens (2:34).  “There—that’s the door to…the Geography Room!” Kirk says as Jerry starts looking around the room.  “Here’s where he’ll have to find all the missing parts of the map!”  Jerry finds a piece on the left wall and correctly places it on the missing southernmost part of Africa on the map.  He finds the Scandinavian Peninsula on the floor and places it a few seconds later (2:29), and finds and places Quebec on the back wall less than three seconds later, opening the door downward to the Jewel Mine (2:26).  “He’s got it—going down to the Tomb of the Headless Kings!” Kirk says, misnaming the room.  Jerry climbs down the ladder into the room, where he starts to look around.  However, out of the mine cart in the center of the room jumps the second TEMPLE GUARD, startling Jerry (2:17).

“Whoa, Temple Guard in the Mine Shaft!” Kirk says as Violet starts up the stairs.  “Now it’s Violet’s time to shine!”  Violet slowly begins making her way to where Jerry was taken out, complicated by the fact that she nearly falls off the rope in the Bottomless Pit (2:00).  “Whoa, hang on—she’s strong, folks!” says Kirk.  “She plays soccer, so she knows how to take on a touch challenge!”  Violet enters the Geographer’s Study and climbs down the ladder to the Mine Shaft (1:54).  “All right, now she’ll have to find all the jewels and put ‘em in the…mine car!” Kirk explains.  Violet finds two jewels on the back wall and places them in the mine cart, then finds four more on the floor.  The seventh, eighth and ninth jewels she finds are on the wall of the mine cart itself, and the tenth is stuck on the ladder (1:30).  “How many does that…that makes nine,” Kirk narrates.  “She needs one more to open the door!”  Violet looks around frantically, but cannot seem to find the last jewel.  She goes over to the dimly lit area leading to the Chamber of the Four Elements, where she blindly begins feeling around.  Finally, she finds the tenth and final jewel hidden as if it were an actuator for the Chamber, and places it in the mine cart, finally opening the door to the Chamber (1:08).  “All right, she got it—into the Chamber of Four Elements!” Kirk narrates as Violet scrambles into the room.  “She’s right under the Dentures—can she reach them in time?”  Violet takes a few seconds to briefly study the pattern above the spaces where the element tiles should go before rushing to retrieve them.  She places them in the correct order—fire, water, earth, air—and the door to the Dark Forest opens up (0:46).

“That’s it—into the Dark Forest!” Kirk shouts as Violet makes her way to the now-open door.  “Hopefully, there are no Temple Spirits in those trees…”  Violet briefly gets stuck in the door climbing out of the Chamber, but jiggles herself loose to enter the Dark Forest, where she reaches into the stage-right tree.  After a few seconds of feeling around, she comes out empty-handed (0:30).  “She could just bust through the wall,” Kirk suggests.  “Maybe she’s got a plan, though—we’ll see!”  Violet starts to push down the wall leading to the Dungeon, but she changes her mind and reaches into the stage-left tree, almost immediately coming out with a key (0:23).  “Oh, she found a key—now where does it go?” Kirk asks no one in particular.  Violet goes to the back of the room, where she starts with the stage-right door, but it doesn’t open (0:10).  She tries the middle door as the audience starts counting down, but again, the door doesn’t open (0:04).  Violet brings the key to the stage-left door and inserts it—but time is up!

“Oh, she ran out of time in the Dark Forest!” Kirk laments as Jerry looks disappointed beside him. “She couldn’t find the right key in time, but that’s alright—they still get the MP3 player for playing, and that’s a lot better than leaving empty-handed.  Unfortunately, we’re out of time.  We’ll see you next time, but just remember—it’s not just Legends, it’s Legends: Rebirth!  Buh-bye, everybody!”

Kirk and Jerry start talking with one another as the credits start to roll.  We see a close-up of the completed map in the Geographer’s Study, the telescope in the Great Seal Room, and the ungrabbed Dentures in the Shaolin Dojo.  Violet emerges from the Temple a bit later, and she, Jerry and Kirk wave to the crowd before the Stone-Stanley logo appears onscreen.

[The Bandit King]

The Discarded Dentures of John Greenwood
Season 2, Layout 2
Artifact Location: The Shaolin Dojo
Team: Orange Iguanas (Jerry Underdown & Violet Smallin)
Pendants: 2
Result: Ran out of time

Well, this certainly was an interesting way to kick off the “Layout 2” episodes of Season 2, what with the newly-revamped version of the old Season 3 raft Moat Crossing, the extremely disgusting choice of legend (which revolved around George Washington’s teeth), and the highly competitive Temple Games which almost ended in a 2-Pendant tie between the Orange Iguanas and Silver Snakes.  In the end, though, the Orange Iguanas pulled the win out in the clutch in the final Temple Game, sending them to the Temple.

Jerry was a fairly fast frontrunner, and he knew his way around the Temple.  He smartly tried all three books in the Crypt, and successfully placed the three missing map pieces in the Geographer’s Study in what may be record time.  He made great progress before being taken out in the Jewel Mine with just over two minutes left.

Violet, unfortunately, was not of the same caliber as Jerry.  She took quite a long time getting to where Jerry was taken out.  To boot, she couldn’t seem to find all the jewels to place in the mine cart in the Jewel Mine, taking the longest time to complete this objective of anyone who has ever entered this room (though, to her defense, the tenth jewel was hidden pretty darn well).  She sped up a little after the Jewel Mine, but by then, it was too little, too late—time expired in the Dark Forest as she was trying to find a door leading upward.

This run illustrates a typical rule of Legends: sending the faster, more intelligent player into the Temple first is usually not a good idea.  If Violet had gone first instead of Jerry, Jerry probably could have at least reached the Dentures, and even made it out with them if the right doors opened.  But as disgusting as the artifact legend and the artifact itself looked, I wouldn’t be surprised if these kids were actually glad they didn't have to grab the nasty thing.

Rating: 5.5 out of 10

Notes and Trivia: Jerry completed the Geographer’s Study in only fourteen seconds—the fastest completion of that room’s objective in Legends: Rebirth history.  His partner Violet also holds a record—she took the longest amount of time to complete the Jewel Mine’s objective (44 seconds).

[The Ancient Warrior]

I'm guessing the layout description in the main thread should be updated since a couple rooms seemed to be modified? And might I ask why there was an inactive actuator in the bottom room of the central pillar? I'm just curious about that last one...


Definitely an odd legend, but creative Moat and Temple Games (although I'm having a little trouble visualizing the first one, admittedly ).  Having a bombish Temple Run wasn't a bad way to mix things up, though, so...

[The Bandit King]

I'm guessing the layout description in the main thread should be updated since a couple rooms seemed to be modified? And might I ask why there was an inactive actuator in the bottom room of the central pillar? I'm just curious about that last one...


Definitely an odd legend, but creative Moat and Temple Games (although I'm having a little trouble visualizing the first one, admittedly ).  Having a bombish Temple Run wasn't a bad way to mix things up, though, so...

The first Temple Game is like the one in "The Lost Whale Bone of Pythias" where the players were using an "inverted walkway" style zipline to retrieve barnacles. And the jewel was only hidden so it looked like an actuator to the Chamber; there was no actuator to begin with--I've edited the run accordingly, along with a BIG mistake in the Steps of Knowledge.

Enjoy!