Time for a new episode review, and this time it will be the dreaded "Bifocal Monocle". Brace yourselves for a terrible and crappy ride.
THE BIFOCAL MONOCLE OF ONE-EYED JACK
MOAT: 6.5/10
In the very first Season 3 moat ever, the teams had to cross using an ancient bridge. To do this, they had to grab one pole and then work together to reach their next pole and pull themselves across the moat. Once they crossed all five poles, then they must hit their team gongs. The four teams that make it across first would go onto the Steps of Knowledge. I always thought this moat crossing was very creative. It emphasized teamwork and forced the players to work together. It was a pretty close moat crossing and it did come down to the wire for the most part. Looks can be deceiving though, as the episode goes down hill from here.
LEGEND: 1/10
One of the fiercest and meanest Pirates of them all was Bluebeard, a retired British officer that turned Pirate. He ecame famous along the coast of America for sacking and burning ships. But his most dreadful invention of all was making folks walk the plank. Eventually, the Navy captured Bluebeard and sentenced him to hanging. Legend has it that one night a strange looking woman appeared in the jail. The woman turned out to be... *gasp* a man by the name of One-Eyed Jack, Bluebeard's first mate. After a pretty lame exchange between Blackbeard and One-Eyed Jack, Blackbeard asked to exchange clothes with Jack in order to escape. He promised that he would come back for Jack, but he never did. Eventually, One-Eyed Jack grew so hold that he needed to wear a Bifocal Monocle.

If you read the above narration, you are probably confused on what went on during this legend. Don't worry, I was confused too by this legend. It was just a bunch of nonsense and the whole plot was bad. The "jokes" were not funny and Legends overused the gag about men disguising as woman and fooling other people. Did anyone actually think that Jack was a woman? Or Blackbeard for that matter? And the Bifocal Monocle wasn't introduced until the very end of the legend. The producers must've literally pulled this legend out of their ass because I can't for the like of me explain where this one came from. And the Bifocal Monocle looks pretty atrocious as an artifact. It looks both cartoonish and lame. And why is there an eye drawn in it? This had to be one of the worst stories and artifacts on the whole show.
STEPS OF KNOWLEDGE: 3/10
Just like the legend, the Steps round was pretty bad. All of the questions asked were from silly parts of the legend. There were also quite a few wrong answers in this round, especially from the Green Monkeys boy. This Steps around was pretty annoying also, mostly because the kids kept going blank while giving answers. It also felt like a S1 Steps round because Olmec was rejected some answers that seemed to be right. It was a pretty mediocre round and the questions asked were really lame.
TEMPLE GAMES: 2.5/10
The temple game sequence used in this episode is among the worst on the show. The temple games had nothing really to do with the legend. There was also no competition at all and it was basically the less sucky team going to the temple. The highlight of this temple games round was during the male temple game. Read below to find more about this "special moment".

The two featured teams include COlby and Megan of the Red Jaguars and Thomas and Veronica of the Orange Iguanas.
Temple Game #1 - Pirates' Treasure Trove
The first temple game utilized the "underground maze temple game". Basically, Nicole and Veronica had to crawl through a maze and try to find bars of gold. If they found one, then they had to bring it to their team bucket. If they found a silver bar, they had to grab it and replace it with a gold bar once it is found. The player that had the most golden bars in their buckets would be the winner. This was a pretty lousy use of this type of temple game IMO. I liked it better when the players had to find matches of something by memorizing areas of the maze they entered. This version of the temple game was dumbed down. In the end, Nicole won 4-3 for the Orange Iguanas.
Temple Game #2 - Raise the "Jolly Roger"
This game featured one of the worst temple game performances ever on the show. In this temple game, Thomas and Colby had to jump through a series of holes with the use of the trampoline. Once they reached the top level of the "ship", they had to raise their ship's flag and then proceed back down to the start. What makes this temple game so bad? It was Colby's lack of performance. He literally spent his entire time trying to pull himself through the second hole of the ship. He was dangling from the hole trying to pull himself up. In the mean time, Thomas was taking his plain old tike raising the flag and coming back to the starting point. You can't blame him either. By the time Thomas reached the starting point, Colby STILL couldn't pull himself through the hole. What a sad and pathetic performance.
Temple Game #3 - Escape Bluebeard's Brig
The final temple game had the players trying to escape Bluebeard's brig in order to avoid "walking the plant". The two teams were chained to a wall and had to traverse through a mini maze in order to reach the opening at the bottom. Once they reached the opening at the bottom, then one of the players had to pull themselves through the hole. The player that reached the bottom would be the winner. In the end, Veronica and Thomas won which gave them the right to enter Olmec's temple.
TEMPLE RUN: 1/10
You would think that most of the really bad temple runs would come from S1, right? S1 had a lot of really bad temple runs like Alhambra, Lost Hammer, Blackbeard, Golden Cricket Cage, and Golden Ship. This temple run also ranks among the worst temple runs ever on the show. In fact, this temple run might very well be the second worst temple run ever. Veronica and Thomas were a HORRIBLE team in the temple. They made so many mistakes that were unique just to their run. Veronica spent over a minute just to climb out of the Pit of the Pendulum. She just couldn't pull herself out of the Pit at all. She literally spent a 1/3 of her run just in the Pit of the Pendulum. When she finally climbed out of the Pit, Veronica eventually hit a deadend in the Room of the Ancient Warriors. Instead of refollowing her steps though, Veronica ran up into the uncleared King's Storeroom instead of going back to the Chamber. She was thankfully taken out in the Tomb of the Headless Kings.

With very little time for himself, Thomas had no real chance at victory though. But that didn't stop him for showing his stupidity. He was the only contestant to pull the books in the Crypt when the objective was only completed. And then he ran into a dead end into the Room of the Ancient Warriors. His time ended in the Tomb of the Headless Kings, aftering forcing us to sit through this abomination for 3 minutes.

There is no excuse for how poor this temple run turned out. I don't care if the Room of the Ancient Warriors dead end was cruel or if this was the first episode of S3. Veronica and Thomas were a bad team who had nothing redeemable about them.

This is the second worst temple run in the series and you would be better off to stay away from this.
FINAL VERDICT: 2.8/10
"Bifocal Monocle" was a terrible episode and ranks among one of the worst episodes on the show. With this ranking, the only episode that outranks this one is "Alhambra". So it tells you how bad this episode is. This was a God awful way to start off S3 and every round of this episode was bad. The legend was a joke, the temple games featured a pathetic performance by both teams, and the temple run is among the worst on the show. If there is anything good I have to say about this episode was that the moat crossing was sort of interesting. But the other episodes that day do the moat better anyways. I do not recommend this episode to anyone. It was so bad and is a pretty damn good way to turn off a person from wathcing S3. The one good thing is that there are only 2-3 other REALLY bad episodes from S3. The only reason to watch this episode is for the sake of completion so you can tell people that you managed to sit through a full 24 minutes of "Bifocal Monocle". It was a horrible experience and if someone tells you otherwise then they must have bad judgement. Definitely a bottom 5 episode on the show!