Legends Episode Ranking System - COMPLETE

[The Red Jaguars]

I got your PM for your portion of the Useless Map review. I have completed my parts and sent them back to you. Like you did for me, I put my parts in bold for you to differentiate it from your content. If you want to make changes to any parts of it, feel free to do so. I think it turned out great for both parts, so it should be ready to be posted. 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Here it is, our next collaboration. This time, the episode is "The Useless Map of the Chibcha Chieftain."

THE USELESS MAP OF THE CHIBCHA CHIEFTAIN

MOAT: 7/10

For this moat, the players had to swing to a net using a rope, climb over the net, and then swim to the other side. Once across, their partner would cross in the same manner. It was a very evenly matched, close round. The Orange Iguanas, Purple Parrots, Silver Snakes, and the Green Monkeys all advanced to the Steps of Knowledge in that order.

LEGEND: 5/10

(Credits to "The Red Jaguars" for his contribution to this section)

Gonzalo Jiménez de Quesada was one of the most ruthless and greediest conquistadors. In the mid-1500's, he came to South America with 900 men and hacked through the Colombian Jungle seeking gold. One day, Jimenz came across a tribe of Indians that were offering their gold to his men freely. They were the Chibcha Indian. Soon though, the greedy Spaniards began taking gold by force. They wanted to find the source of the Chibcha gold, but they could not find out where it came from. Frustrated, Jimenez had the Chibcha Chieftain and his assistant brought before him in chains. Jimenez demanded the Chieftain to reveal where his gold was hidden or else he would exile his wife or even marry his daughter! The Chieftain did not like the idea of Jimenez being his son-in-law, so he decided to reveal the location of his gold. At the same time, he winked at his assistant indicating his plan to fool the Spaniards. The Chieftain decided to reveal the location of the lost city of El Dorado, where everything including the grass was made of gold. The Chieftain drew a map to the lost city of El Dorado. However, Jimenez and his men never found El Dorado. Eventually, the Useless Map made it's way to Olmec's Temple. Like most Season 3 legends, this one was ruined by lame dialogue and childish animations. For example, the scene with the Chieftain winking at his assistant looked like a 4-year old animated it. Also, the exchange between Jimenez and the Chieftain about marrying his daughter had some wonky dialogue too. I do like the premise about a lost city of gold, but the bad dialogue and horrible animations detracts from this legend.

STEPS OF KNOWLEDGE: 7/10

The Steps of Knowledge, like the moat, was a very close round. It was like any combination of two teams could've advanced to the temple games. There were very few wrong answers either, as the Orange Iguanas finished first on the final step. The Silver Snakes joined them on the final step not long after. They just barely beat the Purple Parrots, who answered two questions correctly. While the Green Monkeys only answered one question correctly. It should also be noted that the Steps of Knowledge music sounded slower than usual, as the “clock ticking” sound usually heard, was excluded from this episode.

TEMPLE GAMES: 6/10

(Credits to "The Red Jaguars" for his contribution to this section)

In the temple games, we have a one-time only matchup between the Orange Iguanas and Silver Snakes in Season 3. The Orange Iguanas featured Hallie, who was into softball and enjoys playing the flute, and her partner Jared, who enjoys biking and surfing. The Silver Snakes featured Erin, who likes to ice skate and enjoys playing the piano, and her partner Antonio, who wanted to be an actor. The temple games were average competition for the most part. Most of the temple games were quick too. The Orange Iguanas dominated their individual game, while the Silver Snakes got lucky in their team game. In the end, the temple games came down to a 1-1 tiebreaker where Orange won. Overall, the temple games were not very memorable despite the dominant performance by both teams.

The first temple game had Erin and Hallie traveling through a maze to get to the entrance of El Dorado. To do this, they had to maneuver their body through a maze and reach the opening at the bottom. The first person who find the entrance to El Dorado will win. Both girls came close to reaching the entrance, but Hallie pulled herself through the hole first. The Orange Iguanas win the first temple game and half-pendant. On a side note, this episode is the only time this temple game is used as an individual game and not a team game. In the second temple game, Jared and Antonio had to climb up a net and break open cubby holes to find some Chibcha gold. If the cubby hole was empty, then they had to try another hole. Jared was on fire in this temple game, and he got all of the pieces of gold from the cubby holes before time was even up. The Orange Iguanas win their second temple game, and enter the final game with a score of 1-0. In the team temple game, both teams had to travel through the Colombian Jungle and reach the other side. To do this, they had to walk across a series of poles by choosing the correct one. If the player chooses a pole that sinks, then their partner had to take a turn to cross successfully. The first player on one team to make it to the other side will win. The Silver Snakes got lucky in this temple game as they were able to choose the correct path on their very first try! With the Silver Snakes winning, the Orange Iguanas along with them enter into a tiebreaker.

The tiebreaker question asked by Olmec was, "What ocean did Jimenez had to cross to get from Spain to Colombia?". Jared of the Orange Iguanas answered "Atlantic", which was the correct answer. With only one pendant, Jared and Hallie earn the rights to enter Olmec's temple!

TEMPLE RUN: 6/10

You can't help but feel sorry for this team. Hallie and Jared were good players, but they just didn't have enough pendants. Hallie enters the temple first and is immediately caught by a temple guard in the Crypt, which looked like he was gonna outright remove Hallie from the temple! After she knocks the column down, both the Tomb of the Headless Kings and the King's Storeroom opens up. Hallie was about to climb up to the King's Storeroom, but thinking it would be quicker, she entered into the Tomb instead. Unfortunately, it was that move that sealed the runs fate. There was a guard stationed in the Tomb, waiting to remove Hallie with 2:30 left on the clock. Jared goes in next and he does not fare much better. After completing the Tomb and chamber objective, a third and final temple guard puts an end to the run with a whopping 1:23 left on the clock. Making this the second quickest loss in the shows history. The first one one being “Elizabeth the First's Golden Ship” from Season 1. After time was called, you could tell Hallie looked upset. If she had entered the King's Storeroom instead of the Tomb, she would've been removed there. And then Jared could continue along the top floor, and possibly reach the map. This is also the second of two temple runs where a team with 1 pendant gets triple captured. The other being “The Pendant of Kamehameha,” from back in Season 1. Also, because time from this temple run was cut so short, the credits rolled slower than usual, to make up for lost time. Despite the bad outcome, this temple run was better than most triple captures. The Orange Iguanas would've had more success if they chose a different route. Overall, Hallie and Jared were not a bad team, they just had a bad outcome.

FINAL VERDICT: 6.2/10

(Credits to "The Red Jaguars" for his contribution to this section)

"Useless Map" was a slightly above average episode with a few redeeming qualities to it. For the most part, most of the rounds ranked higher than a 6. The moat was a decent crossing, and the first four teams all came down to the wire If there was anything that brought this episode's score down, then it was the legend with the lame dialogue and animations. The Steps of Knowledge and temple games featured close competition by the Orange Iguanas and Silver Snakes. Jared and Hallie were not a bad team in the temple either, they just had a bad outcome. They would've had more success if they either had another pendant, or if they took the high route in the temple. Compared to most triple captures, this one is tolerable and you can't help but to feel sorry for them. In the end, this episode is definitely one you should take time to watch. Compared the most triple captures, it has something to offer the whole way through. We would recommend this episode.

[The Red Jaguars]

Useless Map is a decent episode despite the outcome. Hallie and Jared were a good team that had bad luck in the temple. They were a pretty strong team before the temple run. Jared had such an awkward voice in this episode. the moat used in this episode was one of my favorites, which is why they brought it back to the Empress Eugenie/Benzibab day. The legend was interesting and I thought El Dorado was a nice choice to talk about. But then they ruin it when they had all these goofy animations. The temple games were close too. The El Dorado game was the only time the human maze was used as an individual game. The Orange Iguanas had bad luck in the team game. Too bad because if they won it, then they would've gone to the temple with two pendants. Also, this episode uses the exact same sequence as Imperial Wizard too. 

The temple run is one of the more tolerable triple captures on the show. It was just bad luck that both teams met three guards. Unlike Robbie and Tina from Kamehameha who brought the triple capture onto themselves, the Orange Iguanas had some bad luck with their temple strategy. If only Hallie stayed up, then they would've had a legit chance at winning. Jared completed the central shaft at a good pace, which is why I think these two would've won. The run was cut short after the team traveled through 5 rooms. Too bad, and you can tell that Hallie was very upset at the end. I would give Hallie and Jared a second chance in the temple. I think we nailed the score for this episode. It was a good episode despite the disappointing outcome.

It looks like Pytheas is next? Well that is an episode I don't see ranking good at all. Then again, I have not seen that one in a long long long time. I remember the legend being pretty bad, and the temple run is boring and featured lame Damien. I am guessing a score around the 5 range?

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Yeah, Pytheas probably will rank in the 5 range. I know for sure it was one of the "20 episode cycle" episodes from the Nick Gas days. I could probably write the episode from memory, but I don't have the screencaps for it. So it looks like you'll have to send me that one. And I agree about Hallie and Jared. The only real mistake they made was Hallie not entering the King's Storeroom. But instead, Hallie just had to take a direct path, and blow her chances. So therefore, she's a bad player and deserved to lose. [/n00b] If only they had one more full pendant. I mean, Hallie and Jared got extremely unlucky in the third temple game. I never liked the rule of "first team to get ONE person across wins." It just made the game seem rushed, and I found it a bit unfair. And yes, this episode does have the exact temple game sequence as Mystical Spellbook. Only Temple games 1 and 3 were reversed, team/individual game wise. But still the same sequence nonetheless.

Oh, and I updated the production day rankings yet again. I included Missing Eye's filming day, which ranked middle of the road. Also, should I rank the episodes in that post best to worst, or should I do it production order wise? I only ask because you ranked Lucky Pillow's day best to worst, but every other episode is ranked first to last of its day. I hope you know what I mean.

[The Red Jaguars]

The only thing I remember about Pytheas from way back in the day was that we always knew that it was episode #115. I forgot it was part of the 20-episode cycle though. It was an average episode at best. And it still makes me wonder how these two made it one room away despite moving slow. And they took the exact same path as the Apanuugpak and William the Conqueror team.

And Hallie's direct mistake was awful. It ranks up there with Ryan taking a direct path, Shem and Ashley for using a ladder, and Sherra also taking a direct path despite only having one path open. And I agree about the rules for the "sinking steps" game. The "first one across rule" works for an individual game like in Imperial Wizard, but not in a team game. They should have one player on each side and each one cross successfully. They did the same thing in Smashed Printing Plate with that game. I must've had Useless Map claimed for 6+ months, but I am glad it is done.

And the Missing Eye day was pretty good too. Missing Eye is an entertaining episode all the way through, Enormous Iron Nose Ring was solid despite the easy win, and both Ahmed Baba and Ivory Elephant were average at best. Even though Ahmed Baba was a win, I don't find it to be amazing. And as for Annie Taylor's production day, I am going to change the ranking by the episodes on that production day. So it should go Atocha, Applewood Amulet, Electrified Key, and Annie Taylor. That is how I have been doing them for the other days. 

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Yeah, the whole "first person across" rule worked for the Mystical Spellbook episode, which featured it as an individual game. But in Useless Map, it should've been "first team to get both players across wins." If those had been the rules, maybe Hallie and Jared still would've won the game, if not tied? And even if the third game were a tie, they still would've gone to the temple with 2 pendants. As for Missing Eye, I agree. It was a good production day. I also agree that Tall Turban is not as "amazing" as it is made out to be. As of right now, Xerxes is STILL the worst filming day ever. I think we can both agree that that's never gonna change.

So with Pytheas being next, and for it being a forgettable episode, I think we'll have to wait a while on that one. We also have other lackluster episodes like Golden Spider Web and Dried Apple Half coming up too. Though the latter I can send you, since I have screencaps for that episode.

[The Red Jaguars]

I was never a fan of Ahmed Baba at all. The whole episode is unexciting and overrated. I know Nose Ring is pretty overrated too, but I enjoy the whole episode itself. And Joel was an awesome player and would've done well in any layout he had. Shane was just average player with a lucky path. No other production day with top the Snow Cone/Xerxes day. The highest ranked episode that day was a 6 (Henry Hudson). All of the other episodes finished in the 4-range or lower. The S1L2 was pretty bad too, but Lost Gold Mine saves this day from being a total lost cause.  Nothing is probably going to top Annie Taylor's day either.

And it looks like we have a string of crappy episodes coming up. Pytheas, William Tell, Robert the Bruce, and Silk Sash all suck in my eyes. Just like you have pictures for William Tell, I have a lot of pictures for Robert the Bruce. Now that is one episode I have memorized because I have watched it countless times thanks to Nick GaS. It is a boring and mediocre episode. And while the temple run is very similar to Hans Holbein, I hate this one more because Jeremy and Christine were so slow and forgettable. And I hate the William Tell episode too.

First things first though, we get to work on Pytheas. I am going to work on the Legends part at least tonight. 

[The Red Jaguars]

I sent you a copy of the Pytheas episode review. It has not really ranked well with the rounds I worked on. I left the moat, steps of knowledge, and final verdict section that needs completed. I already added the pictures too. Just let me know if you need help with any other section.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Okay, I got your PM. I should have my portion written by tonight at least. Your portion looks good so far. This episode probably won't even leave the 5 range. Knowing most Orange Iguana episodes.

[The Red Jaguars]

Take your time, no rush at all. It was indeed just an average episode at best. I didn't remember anything and had to rewatch the episode again to complete my sections (except for the temple run). Although I did remember some parts of the legend. But when we get down to it, there is really nothing great about it at all.

[Purple Parrots Fan]

Alright, my parts have been sent to you. I had very little to say, as this whole episode was so uneventful. There is literally nothing special about this episode whatsoever, except that it was part of the "20 episode cycle" back in the Nick Gas days.

[The Red Jaguars]

Time for a new review, and this time it is the ever forgettable Pytheas. There is really not much to say about this episode. It probably is one of the uneventful episodes on the show. Enjoy though. 

THE LOST WHALE BONE OF PYTHEAS

MOAT: 6/10

(Credits to "Purple Parrots Fan" for her contribution to this section)

For this moat, the players had to crawl across a bridge one player at a time. If they fell into the water, they had to go back and start all over again. This moat was rather uneventful, nothing noteworthy happened in this round. At the end of the round, the Purple Parrots, Silver Snakes, Orange Iguanas, and the Red Jaguars advanced to the Steps of Knowledge.

LEGEND: 3/10

The legend talks about Pytheas, one of the most daring explorers in Greek history. Around 300 B.C. with just one ship, he sailed around the northern coast of Europe, but it wasn't easy. According to legend,  after days on the open sea without food, the people on the ship began shouting that they saw an "island with a head and tail", which was in fact a giant whale. Pytheas, being unafraid, thought of the whale as dinner for his men. Pytheas used the anchor from the ship as bait for the whale. Once the whale grabbed the anchor, he dragged Pytheas into the sea with it. Pytheas' men watched as he wrestled the whale until Pytheas "conked" the whale on the head. Pytheas brought the whale onto the ship for the men to eat. The crew kept one of the bones as a remembrance of this meal. The Lost Whale Bone washed away to Olmec's Temple during a storm...

This legend was very disappointing because there is so many things they could've talked about with Pytheas, but instead they talked about him battling a whale. The battle with the whale was also pretty comical too and it was hard to take it serious. Especially the part where he defeated the whale by "conking" it on the head. And also, the "fish sticks" line after he defeated the whale was corny. This legend would've done a lot better if they didn't talk about a made-up battle with a whale.

STEPS OF KNOWLEDGE: 6/10

(Credits to "Purple Parrots Fan" for her contribution to this section)

The Steps of Knowledge were a decent round. While there were very few wrong answers, this round, like the moat, was uneventful. The Red Jaguars finished first on the steps, and the Orange Iguanas finished second not long after. The Purple Parrots got one question right, and the Snakes failed to answer any questions.

TEMPLE GAMES: 6/10

The temple games featured a matchup between the Red Jaguars and Orange Iguanas. The Red Jaguars featured Allison, who likes to play the piano and wants to become a teacher when she grows up, and her partner Patrick, who wants to be an engineer and likes to swim. The Orange Iguanas featured Brittany, who liked the play softball and danced 9 hours a week, and Damien, who likes football and is a "traveling fool" according to Kirk. The temple games end with a rare 2-1.5 score, which also happened with two episodes earlier that day ("Gwalior" and "Belle Boyd"). The temple games were not very exciting though despite the close competition. The first temple game was pretty lop-sided and the last temple game was poorly coordinated. If it wasn't for the close score, this round would get a lower score.

In the first temple game, Patrick and Damien had to catch fish for food by grabbing a fish and placing it into their bucket on the other side. The player that has the most fish in their buckets after 60 seconds will win. While Damien was moving slow in this temple game, he was able to get more fish up and beat Patrick with a score of 6-3. In the second temple game, Brittany and Allison were hanging upside-down and had to collect barnacles from one wall and place it into their team bin. The player that collects the most barnacles after 60 seconds will win. Brittany and Allison both changed leads at certain points in this temple game. However, both players missed a barnacle or two. In the end, they both end up in a tie of 4-4. The Orange Iguanas lead with a score of 1-0.5 in the final temple game. On a side note, this EXACT temple game was used earlier in "The Lost Hornpipe of the Pirate Captain". In the final temple game, the two teams had to drop 6 anchors from their ship. To do this, they had to run out onto a trampoline and jump up into the net above. They then had to grab one of the anchors and drop it through the net. Once they are done, their partner had to try the same thing. The team with the most anchors dropped through their nets after 60 seconds will win. This temple game was pretty hard to watch because of how badly coordinated was. For example, Patrick of the Red Jaguars wasted 15 seconds trying to get his foot uncaught from the net. You can see his partner grab her head in frustration. Also, the players were leaving too early to jump onto the nets. In the end, the temple game ended in a 3-3 tie. With a 2-1.5 score though, the Orange Iguanas earn the rights to enter Olmec's temple.

TEMPLE RUN: 5/10

By the time Season 3 comes around, you have no excuse for moving slow in the temple. Especially since the Season 3 temple was full of tough rooms. Brittany and Damien were way too slow in the temple. They knew what they were doing, but they moved like a rock. Brittany started off first by taking 8 seconds to reach the Crypt. After knocking down the column in the Pit of the Pendulum, she was forced down into the Tomb of the Headless Kings where she meets her first temple guard. She continues slowly along the bottom floor of the temple until she reaches the Quicksand Bog. She cleverly uses the Shrine shortcut from that room, where she is removed from the temple with 1:22 after putting the base of the Silver Monkey on the front of the room. You thought Brittany was slow? Damien was much slower than her. It took Damien literally a minute to get where Brittany was taken out. Kirk and Brittany were both shouting for him to move faster. When he made it to the Shrine, he surprisingly had a 9 second assembly of the Silver Monkey. Granted, his partner already put one piece on. With 14 seconds left, his time ended in the Room of the Ancient Warriors. This team would've had more success if Damien would've moved faster in the temple. If he took half of the time it took him to follow up on Brittany's path, then he would've had enough time to reach the Lost Whale Bone. Not that Brittany was much faster, but 1:22 is enough time to grab the artifact and even win. This temple run was pretty boring and kind of hard to watch due to both players speed. It makes you wonder how they made it one room away at such a sluggish pace.

FINAL VERDICT: 5.2/10

(Credits to "Purple Parrots Fan" for her contribution to this section)

Overall, Pytheas was a very bland episode. None of the rounds were exciting, the legend was ridiculous, and the temple run was lackluster. By Season 3, there's no excuse to not move fast. Both players were too slow, and were equally responsible for this loss. Brittany and Damien would've had much more success if they had moved FASTER in the temple. Instead, they only made it one room away from the artifact. While Pytheas is not a bad episode, it's nothing exciting and you're not missing anything if you skip over it. I do not recommend this episode to anyone.

[The Red Jaguars]

My thoughts:

Pytheas is a boring episode that I remember nothing about besides the temple run. I think a 5.2 score is fitting and none of the rounds ranked above a 6. The legend was the weakest link in this episode. It just sounded silly from the whale battle to the "Fish Stick" lines. Pytheas was suppose to be a mighty fighter on the sea, but he defeats a whale with a conk on the head? The other rounds were average too. The temple run was boring, and both Brittany and Damien were slow. Especially Damien. I totally forgot that it took him exactly a minute to get where Brittany was left off. Brittany was really not a bad frontrunner as people make her out to be. I mostly blame this loss on Damien who must've had something stuck up his ass, which is why he moved so slow. Boring episode and I never watch it because there is nothing really redeemable about it.

It looks like William Tell is next? You thought Pytheas was bad, but this one will probably rank worst. I hate this episode and it belongs on my blacklist of episodes I never watch. The earlier rounds were boring and the temple run is so bad. I don't care how hard that layout was, they should've made more progress than 6 rooms. Even the Hans Holbein and Robert the Bruce teams would've made more progress. I can't wait until we get this episode done.       

[Purple Parrots Fan]

I honestly think Brittany and Damien were equally responsible. Yes Damien took a minute catching up to Brittany, but she wasted 8 seconds just getting up to the Crypt. I must be the only person who doesn't just blame Damien. Oh well, they didn't make it. And yes, it looks like Dried Apple Half is next. I'll send that one to you, like I did Useless Map. Since I have screencaps for that episode. I bet this episode will rank in the 3 or 4 range.

[The Red Jaguars]

Yeah, I blame Brittany too for this loss. She could've moved faster between her rooms. But with 1:22 left, Damien would've had more then enough time to reach the artifact. Just like Kirk said at the end of the run - "You can't slow down too much in the temple because it will get you!".

And yeah, I expect William Tell to rank really low. I hate that episode and is probably the third worst episode of Season 3 behind Snow Cone and Bifocal Monocle. This was also one of the last episodes TMH needed to complete his site. I swear I have screencaps for this episode too, but I can't find them. That is a good thing though I guess. Impossible layout or not, Lauren and Brett sucked.